Chapter 62

If the wizards who penned those tomes of madness still walked the earth, they would surely record this day: July 23, 1980, when two of the Three Pillar Gods worked toward the same goal for the first time.

Nyarlathotep and Shub-Niggurath had tunneled for what felt like half a day before finally breaching Yog-Sothoth’s barrier to make contact. The two gods spoke almost simultaneously.

“Where is that Ode Douglas?!”

“Get me out of this damned place!”

They both paused at the same moment. The hot-tempered Pan, seizing the lead, demanded, “I descended upon this land because you assured me that Ode Douglas—this threat—lurked in Earth’s Antarctica. But guess what I found there? Not a single hair! Tell me where he is, and I’ll help you kill him.”

“Really? If you truly want to help me, why not start by freeing me from this hellish space?” Nyarlathotep’s tone dripped with sarcasm. “You’ve never been the helpful type, Shub—we both know that. Isn’t it obvious why you’re so desperate to find Ode all by yourself?”

“You want to monopolize him. You want to make him your possession. Maybe someday you’ll figure out how the Elder Gods plan to use him to resolve the Sword of Damocles hanging over our heads. And then what? If the weapon that Nodens poured so much effort into truly solves our ‘little problem,’ what will you do next? Get along with us peacefully, live and let live?”

“Don’t act so self-righteous, Nyar.” Pan’s avatar embodied the god of fertility and abundance, with a temper as explosive as a male beast guarding his mate during mating season. For him to remain this calm while facing off against Nyarlathotep was already the result of his true body’s restraint. “Isn’t that your plan too? Snatching ripe fruit from the Elder Gods’ hands? If you can control the fruit, keep it. If not, destroy it rather than let anyone else have it.”

“Can you swear to Azathoth that you haven’t gone searching for Ode behind my back? I can tell you won’t, because I saw your foul, stinking sands by that Black Rock Rift.”

“You silver-tongued liar… You tricked me into scouring Antarctica for him while you kidnapped him to Egypt yourself! You deserve to be imprisoned here by Yog-Sothoth!”

Nyarlathotep tried reason and emotion in equal measure. “But I failed! Yog-Sothoth blocked me. You’d fail alone too. Only by cooperating—”

“No.” Pan’s masculine instincts overrode everything. “I never share—be it females or resources. Since you don’t even know where Ode is now, you’re useless to me. Enjoy your imprisonment, Nyar. Maybe I’ll share the good news after I succeed.”

Pan didn’t wait for the Black Pharaoh to respond. He sealed the hard-won breach shut again. Nyarlathotep seethed with fury, his hair practically standing on end. “Foolish Pan… Foolish male instincts! Out of all his avatars, why did he have to descend using this reproduction-obsessed idiot?!”

He hadn’t even had time to share the crucial intelligence: “Ode possesses a fragment of an independent dream realm, enough to draw Nodens’ personal attention and expulsion.” Heaven only knew if the unguarded Pan might get killed by Ode exploiting that dream.

For a fleeting moment, the thought “He deserves it” flashed through Nyarlathotep’s mind. But he quickly suppressed it, diligently resuming his tunneling through the prison. Whether Pan believed him or not, when it came to preventing Azathoth’s awakening, he was deadly serious.

No one knew that Nyarlathotep, the perennial trickster god, was slaving away like a miserable miner. Just as no one but Yog-Sothoth could witness the second clever swap of the day between Antarctica and the Amazon Rainforest.

Some tens of minutes earlier, as Pan departed the Amazon Rainforest for Antarctica, Ode had been offered up by Faust as a sacrifice on an altar in the rainforest, almost on his heels.

Tens of minutes later, as Pan finished verbally dismantling Nyarlathotep and smugly returned to the Amazon Rainforest, Ode simultaneously teleported back to Antarctica using the array.

Whether Yog-Sothoth entertained thoughts like “Sometimes it’s pretty helpless when no one shares the joke of these coincidences,” Ode only felt his spirits lift as the Antarctic winds sliced across his face the instant he arrived. “Finally!”

All he had wanted was to examine a stone slab and uncover his origins. First Abhoth, then Nyarlathotep—now he might even have to tangle with Shub-Niggurath. Did everything good have to come with this much hassle?

【Could it be your own problem?】 Eva remarked flatly. 【Normal people go from cradle to grave without encountering even a whisper about monsters. You? You’ve been like a bug zapper drawing them in since Dreamcatcher Town. And now? Yog-Sothoth has a marriage contract with you, Nyarlathotep has a betrothal, and you’re Shub-Niggurath’s sacrifice—】

“Wasn’t it Faust who sacrificed me?? And that’s not a betrothal! It was a devil’s bargain! Good lord, Eva, you’re a researcher—can you at least watch your wording??” Ode grumbled as he sped toward the gully below, head down, terrified another demon or deity might pop out to interfere.

【But you have slept with both Yog and Nyarlathotep. Care to sleep with Shub and complete the collection?】 Faust teased, though he quickly turned serious. 【My advice: If you don’t want to draw the wrath of all three Pillar Gods at once, mask your movements from here on out. Keep a low profile so Shub doesn’t come sniffing around again. How do you plan to deal with Ubbo-Sathla guarding the stone slab below? Eat It too?】

“That might bring the Elder Gods down on my head.” Ode spread his wings abruptly as he neared the destination, slowing his descent. He first dispatched the Sleep God ahead to probe the abyss’s bottom, where a vast, boiling mud pit churned like a living thing. “Who knows if that errand boy from the Elder Gods ever came to carry out the destruction order? If not? When they arrive and find an empty patch of ground—no Ubbo-Sathla—they’ll scream all the way back to Nodens.”

Whatever the Sleep God’s virtues or flaws, his power was undeniably a source of pride.

After a few seconds’ wait, the mud pit below calmed. The malformed lifeforms that had just emerged from Ubbo-Sathla—destined to attempt escape only to be dragged back for assimilation and devouring—now lay slumped on the shore, lost in their first true dream.

Wings whispered softly in the darkness as Ode landed without a sound.

He circled the lakeshore several times before spotting the dozen or so ancient stone slabs in an unassuming small fissure, lying amid the cracked, dry mud. “It’s all in R’lyehian,” he whispered, keeping his voice low. “Too lazy to puzzle out the words piecemeal. I’ve sent you scans—what does it say?”

【…Have you noticed how densely packed the text is, like a full academic paper? We can’t answer right away. Wait quietly.】

Ode paced restlessly in place for two laps before halting abruptly. “Wait… There are old footprints in the mud in front of these slabs.”

【Perfect!】 Faust let out a huge sigh of relief—he clearly didn’t enjoy poring over documents. 【Can you tell which slab the footprints lingered in front of the longest?】

“The second one.” Ode crouched down, scrutinizing the hefty slab. “Some lines are worn faint, like someone rubbed them with their fingers… Lines 15 to 20!”

【Let me see…】 Eva read aloud. 【’…Among the many Outer Gods born directly from Azathoth, one existence stands out as particularly unique. They are called Azati, known as the Primeval Children.’】

【’From the moment of their birth, they possess the power to destroy worlds or rebirth stars. Yet typically, they perish at the instant of creation. Should an Azati defy this law and survive, it becomes the most dangerous entity imaginable.’】

【’Imagine them as little Azathoths. Every Azati harbors the potential to supplant its father and become the new Azathoth. They are born and die within Azathoth’s dream for a reason: their father has no desire to be slain and replaced by his offspring.’】

【’Under normal circumstances, merely encountering a surviving Azati poses no great danger, for it is fleeing its father’s wrath. But never intrude upon an Azati’s dream… Think of it this way: Would you dare enter a little Azathoth’s dream and expect to emerge unscathed? Unless, by sheer luck, you stumble into the dream of a weakened fledgling Azati.’】

Silence fell over the three of them once the passage ended.

A moment later, three voices erupted in unison.

Faust: 【Who wrote these slabs? Gods don’t talk like this. Is it even credible?】

Eva: 【’Weakened fledgling Azati’? Ode, I think our next step is hunting more meals to bulk you up.】

Ode: “So Azathoth’s glance was because… It sensed a threat from an Azati? Did the Elder Gods capture a surviving one and experiment with its fragments for genesis? Is that my origin? Or my parents’?”

【Hold on, hold on,】 Faust said, incredulous as if he alone saw the absurdity. 【Am I the only one still questioning if these stones are legit?】

【Azati? Little Azathoth? Don’t you think if Ode’s origins were that outrageous, he couldn’t possibly still think like a human?】

Eva disagreed. 【Don’t forget, this is the Elder Gods’ experiment. What do They want? A second Sword of Damocles hanging over Their heads, or a weapon They can scrap after the war?】

【I’d bet Ode’s current humanization is deliberate on Their part. Otherwise, why start with Dreamcatcher Town? Why experiment on humans? They want human nature to leash the beast, making it easy to betray and dispose of him once the deed is done—like killing the hound after the hare is caught. Ode’s failures across all those loops prove it. And it gives Them another perk: concealing the Azati’s trail so Azathoth doesn’t spot the experiment the moment it surfaces.】

Ode: “…So am I human or not?”

【…】 Eva sounded baffled. 【Did everything I told you earlier go down the drain? Why are you still hung up on this? Honestly, I’m getting tired of repeating myself on this one.】

“…Sorry,” Ode said, unwittingly licking his lips as he grew a bit fidgety. “I don’t know why I keep harping on this issue. It’s just… there’s this instinct nagging at me, over and over in my mind, demanding to hear the answer again no matter how many times I give it.”

【—That’s exactly what I’ve been worried about.】 Faust replied thoughtfully. 【Have you ever considered that if Ode were just an experimental construct sliced off from Azati by the Elder Gods, how could a fragmented Azati possibly draw Azathoth’s gaze just by dripping a few drops of blood into the Order Brew?】

“—What do you mean?” Ode’s heart raced uncontrollably as the implication flashed through his mind, a reaction so abnormal that even he couldn’t ignore it. “Uh, friends? I’m feeling a bit off right now—”

【Calm down… Repeat after me: ‘I am human.’】 Faust’s tone had never been so coaxing and patient. 【I’m not joking. Say it with me—】

“I am human.” Ode parroted the words in a desperate last-ditch effort, and to his surprise, his heartbeat actually began to slow. He hurried to repeat it several more times. “What’s going on here??”

【I’m trying to figure out how to explain this—alright, let’s go through it step by step, chronologically.】

Faust continued: 【Ode, do you remember before today, when you described to me that feeling of ‘if I eat a bit more monster meat, something dangerous will burst out of my body’?】

Ode’s newly calmed heartbeat nearly spiked again. He frantically repeated “I am human” over and over, feeling utterly bizarre—like there was a tenant inside his body, and he had to carefully coax its fragile sensitivities. “Of course. That’s happened several times.”

【Whether it’s sorcery or alchemy, when dealing with something hard to control but so powerful that you want to harness it, there are similar methods—using something harmless, or at least easy to control, to bind the target.】

【The East has analogous sorcery too. Resentful energy is tough to control, right? So kill an infant and use its bones or resentful spirit to tame the energy… I suspect that’s your situation.】

【Maybe—and I mean maybe—the amount of Azati in you isn’t just a thousandth or a fraction of a percent. It’s an entire Azati. That would explain why your few drops of blood mixed with the Order Brew caught Azathoth’s attention, destroying Hastur’s avatar outright without even giving you a chance to eat.】

【…You’re joking, right?】 Amid the thunderous pounding of his heart, Ode heard Eva’s voice tremble in rare tightness. 【Are you saying that from the very beginning, the only safeguard keeping Azati—that ticking time bomb—from exploding was baby Ode’s mind? And now it’s just Ode’s will??】

【Not ‘mind,’ but ‘self-perception.’】 Faust shushed Eva. 【Get a grip on your emotions. Don’t rile Ode up. Don’t you realize his state is different now that he knows?】

Faust even stuttered: 【B-Before, he was a safe bomb without the password entered. Now the password’s in, and even a little jolt could lead to consequences we don’t want! Otherwise, why do you think Ode has been obsessively confirming the same thing since we met? It’s an obvious danger sign—】

“Can we add ‘danger’ to the blocked vocabulary list?” Ode clutched his chest, where his heart was battering his ribs painfully. “You noticed these issues long ago?”

【Of course! I’m an alchemist, and I’ve been in the chief’s seat for years. How could I overlook details like that?】 Faust said. 【Do you really think I could let go of decades of hatred and obsession toward monsters in just a few hours? Give me some credit—I’ve been thinking about this the whole way!】

【You never noticed?】 Eva’s tone was profoundly shocked—at least compared to her usual composure.

【I’m a spook, aren’t I? I know how to mask my emotions—】

Ode was already starting to feel lightheaded from lack of oxygen. “Stop arguing, please. If you’ve been thinking about it the whole way, you must have a plan ready for if things go south.”

Faust’s response was like a calming pill: 【Of course I have a plan. Head back to the London base—】

“Boom…”

The ground shook violently, as if some massive, heavy thing had suddenly crashed down at the bottom of the abyss.

Ode painfully pressed down on his chest, which felt like it had been struck from the inside by a bell clapper. Gasping in cold air, he turned around to see three or four trees—or monsters that resembled ancient trees at first glance—slowly advancing on hoof-like, thick lower limbs. Masses of whip-like tentacles writhed like snakes in the darkness, their serpentine tips pointed motionlessly at him in a spine-chilling manner.

【Ode? What’s happening? You need to get back to base fast. You’re not just ‘weak as a kitten’ now—you could blow up at any moment—】

A rough, callused hand covered in a thin cocoon pressed against Ode’s ear. Pan plucked out the spare earpiece, tossed it to the ground, and crushed it underfoot. With a grip that seemed gentle but was actually firm, He placed a hand on Ode’s shoulder and turned him around to face Him. “You’re a hard one to track down. Fortunately, I only came back on a whim, hoping you might double back. And here you are, just as I wished.”

In that instant, Ode suddenly couldn’t hear his own heartbeat anymore, as if the organ had lost all relevance to him and his body had discarded it. Fortunately, within seconds, it pounded back even more fiercely—instilling in Ode an almost grateful thought that “at least my heart is still beating,” if not for the fact that his mind was filled with Faust’s earlier joke: “But you’ve already slept with both Yog and Nyarlathotep. Want to complete the set with Shub?”

Ode: “…”

His own situation was already complicated enough. Must his… interpersonal—or rather, divine—relationships get even more tangled?

Ode took a deep breath, his tone laced with weary exhaustion, as if to say, “Enough with this bullshit fate already”: “What do you want with me? Just in case you’re thinking it—I’m male. Can’t breed. Not as a mermaid, not as an angel. Cthulhu already tried once.”

The look in Pan’s eyes gradually shifted as He regarded Ode. “I just wanted to invite you to my lair as a guest. Perhaps we could reach an accord; I’d make you the most perfect offspring in my nest… But the way you put it does pique my interest in testing whether you truly can’t bear progeny… Tell me, before me, how many males have tried?”

Ode: “…………Fuck.” Miscalculation. He’d forgotten that Pan embodied masculine procreative drive, and rivalry and conquest were naturally part of that territory—but on second thought, was this his fault?? It was the lecher seeing lechery everywhere! If Pan were straight as an arrow, He wouldn’t be inviting this kind of challenge onto Himself.

“Listen,” Ode tried to persuade Pan, “actually, I just learned some combat tricks. If you want to spice up our chat with a challenge, I’ll spar with you—”

“Spar?” Pan—beautiful as a celestial being, and indeed He was one—stepped closer. His rough palm cupped Ode’s rear and pulled him flush against His solid frame, the scent of grasslands nearly overwhelming the stench of blood. “Humans don’t pray to me for victory. They pray for many children and bountiful harvests.”