Chapter 13

[It’s true that rich men get beautiful wives. Yaya’s eyes went straight seeing so many gifts, huh.]

[Instantly turned into a little voice-changer.]

[Who says my baby is a little voice-changer? Even if he is, he’s still the cutest little voice-changer in all of Wolf Fang.]

The Top Fan Sister, who had been silently lurking in the stream, emerged to drop a few torpedoes, steering the topic back. [Baby, what are we playing tonight? Glory?]

[Top Fan Sister is so generous. She must be one of those rich, capable mature beauties.]

[Didn’t someone gossip about it last time? Top Fan Sister’s family runs a company. She’s a CEO, one of Yaya’s first fans. Her platform account only follows our Yaya.]

[No way, I heard she’s a rich second-generation Sister?]

Lin Linya quickly spoke up to stop them from digging further into his top fan’s alt identity. “Thanks for the torpedoes, Suck Yaya’s Cheek. Thank you, Sister. Tonight, it’s Glory casual mode! Have you guys tried the new casual mode Glory released recently?”

[Played it. Ten-minute rapidfire mode, it is indeed fast. Too bad I haven’t won a single game.]

[Seriously, when is Glory gonna fix matchmaking? Every time I solo queue casual, I get matched with two couples. Zero game experience. Can’t play at all.]

After reading their feedback, Lin Linya smoothly changed the stream title. “Okay, tonight’s challenge: Don’t mentally breakdown in casual mode. Win five in a row before ending stream.”

[? Are you sure about that.]

[Clearly, you could just keep us company all night, but you have to make a bet. You, I’m crying, really.]

[No big bro to carry today, Yaya bravely charges into the Rift alone. Charge!]

“Who are you doubting? I’m the guy who handles pressure in high-level matches every day. Playing these bot-level matches is like playing against babies. You can start picking songs now.”

He had a habit of singing for his fans before every stream ended, so fans would pick songs in advance as the end approached.

Lin Linya retorted defiantly while quickly logging into the gold-ranked account Chen Chun had given him. He entered Glory’s casual mode and hit match.

He pulled up a small window, opened NetEase Cloud, and queued up a song called ‘Good Luck Comes’.

Lin Linya didn’t expect to win the first game, but he didn’t anticipate being matched with two couples in the very first one. The girl in the first pick instantly locked in support. By the time it was his turn as the fifth pick to select a hero, only the Clash Lane role was left.

After a few seconds of silence, he went into the Clash Lane hero pool to choose.

This account had been played by Chen Chun before, so many Clash Lane heroes had proficiency and were selectable.

He dragged the cursor, pausing on the hero skill description screen.

The text was dense and tiny. Lin Linya, already a bit nearsighted, had to lean in close, squinting, reading line by line. “Skill 1: Dashes forward, releasing a golden light that deals physical damage to enemy heroes, while gaining CC immunity for 1 second…”

Because he couldn’t quite grasp it, he read very slowly.

[Why is this so hilarious lololol, looks just like me studying math problems.]

[New here, just asking, is this streamer pretending to be dumb or is he for real?]

For a full minute, he hadn’t finished reading the skill descriptions for one hero. He had no choice but to pick the champion every Glory summoner knew—Qiya, given during the tutorial.

Controlling the clumsy hero carrying a heavy sword as he headed to top lane, Lin Linya feigned calm. “No big problem, bros. Although I don’t usually play Clash Lane, I have duo queued with a National Server Clash Laner. So, by extension, I’m basically Provincial Server level.”

[The National Server Clash Laner my baby’s talking about is?]

[It’s Brother Slow, right? But ever since he duo queued with my baby, he switched to Marksman.]

[Before, Yaya asked him why he stopped playing Clash Lane. He said Marksman could carry the late game and help Yaya climb ranks. Our love-brained guy is just like that.]

[Touching, someone remembers the Slowly Sprouting days of Season 8. Now he’s already become the Ex-Husband Bro.]

The hero laning against Qiya was Heavy Sword. This hero had a high skill ceiling, requiring combos between the second and third skills to unleash a second form, so newbies typically avoided playing her.

“Is the enemy on a smurf account?” Lin Linya muttered softly.

By the time he reached his tower, the enemy hero was already clearing the minion wave.

Moreover, Heavy Sword’s in-game model was a very sexy, beautiful woman, making the original skin Qiya laning against her look rather dusty and disheveled.

Not wanting to admit he was scared, Lin Linya declared righteously, “Folks, remember this: Qiya is relatively weak at level 1. Don’t fight the enemy hero; we’re at a disadvantage. We just need to safely farm minions under the tower until level 4.”

The enemy Heavy Sword sensed his intent. After a moment of speechlessness, she simply started taunting on the spot.

Lin Linya pretended not to see. While clearing the minion wave, he kept glancing at the minimap, hoping his teammates would notice he was a vulnerability and come help gank this Heavy Sword.

If this were a ranked or peak match, his teammates might have come to counter-gank Heavy Sword long ago. Unfortunately, it was casual mode.

His own jungler was hitting the Blue Buff, leaving it with a sliver of health and giving it to the Mid Mage. The Mid Mage instantly sent a “Thank you” and a “Love it, love it” emote.

The marksman and support were standing by the healing pack in the bottom lane, both beaten down to half health by the enemy.

Marksman: [Wife, you eat it, here’s the health pack.]

Support: [Baby, you eat it. I’ll just recall. I’ll be back quickly to protect you.]

Marksman: [Wuwuwu, baby, I love you so much. Let me steal the enemy’s health pack for you.]

No one paid him any attention.

Lin Linya: “…”

Speechless and choked up, he looked bitterly at his health bar, reduced to just a sliver by the minion wave. Then he looked at Heavy Sword, who was wildly dancing and partying outside his defense turret. Silently, he hit Recall.

Didn’t dare to provoke her, but could he at least hide?

Unexpectedly, Heavy Sword saw him recalling with low health. She instantly flashed forward and used her first skill to finish him off.

Lin Linya was spacing out, biting his milk tea straw, eyes glazed. Seeing his screen go gray, he choked in shock. “Cough, cough, cough.”

The most infuriating part was Heavy Sword diving him under the tower, getting the kill, and strolling away without dying to the turret.

[First Blood!]

His mouth dropped into an O shape. After a long moment, he swallowed the boba in his mouth and yelled, “What the! Is she crazy?!”

Jungler: [Qiya, stop feeding.]

Lin Linya: ???

He didn’t need to think to know the bullet comments were all mocking him. His face flushed red. “That didn’t count. She sneak-attacked me. Wait till I respawn, then I’ll face her in a fair duel.”

His hero respawned. Puffing his cheeks, he charged towards the top lane. Arriving at the lane, he found Heavy Sword hadn’t recalled. She had eaten a health pack and was farming minions, only at half health.

Meanwhile, Lin Linya’s hero, freshly emerged from the fountain, had full health.

Lin Linya was overjoyed. “This time, I can definitely kill her.”

Without hesitation, he charged at Heavy Sword, unleashing his ultimate. But the enemy Heavy Sword seemed to see right through his intentions, easily sidestepping his skill with a dodge.

She countered with her own skill, locking him down. Lin Linya panicked. Before he could react, his clunky hero fell to the ground once more.

Heavy Sword calmly recalled over his corpse, even sending a “Heh, not bad~” taunt.

Lin Linya was absolutely furious.

The next few times were the same: leaving the tower, he died; cowering under the tower, he died. He died five or six times. When his teammates flamed him, he didn’t dare talk back.

Seeing the enemy minion wave and Heavy Sword hadn’t arrived yet, Lin Linya hid in the Brush on the Clash Lane. “I’ll ambush her here once,” he whispered.

The enemy Heavy Sword had just returned from clearing minions, her health not very high. Perhaps she thought so little of Lin Linya’s skills that she let her guard down, never even thinking to check the brush.

Lin Linya seized the chance, frantically throwing all his skills onto Heavy Sword. It looked like Heavy Sword was about to die.

Right at that moment, the jungler said, [What’s the point of playing, our Clash Laner can’t play at all. Let’s surrender.] And he initiated the surrender vote.

Immediately after, both couples voted yes.

Before Lin Linya could even get the kill on Heavy Sword, his team’s Nexus exploded as his teammates collectively surrendered.

Lin Linya: “…”

With a blank face, he exited the post-match scoreboard and returned to the game room.

[I feel so bad for my baby. If it were me, my mental would’ve already exploded.]

[What’s wrong with these little couples? Surrendering in a casual game? Is practicing new heroes in casual games not normal?]

Lin Linya sucked furiously on his boba straw and slammed it down on the table. He forced a strained smile. “It’s fine. My mental state is very stable. My state is mentally very stable. My mentally is stable state very.”

“It’s just gaming. Who doesn’t go crazy sometimes? Next game, next game.”

In the second game, Lin Linya was first pick. He finally got support. The little pink Deer Maiden bounced along behind the marksman to the Farm Lane.

This game, his teammates were relatively more normal. But the dual carries weren’t very good, and they still lost. He even got the losing side’s MVP.

Lin Linya played for an hour. Since it was Quick Match, he played seven games. He opened his match history and scrolled through—he’d only won one in the middle.

[I’m really dying laughing. Yaya is basically acting out my own solo queue experience.]

[Who the hell is actually winning in this game? The light in my baby’s eyes is gone. My heart aches.]

Lin Linya gnawed viciously on his straw. The paper straw of his milk tea was nearly chewed to pieces. “This mode is no fun at all.”

[It’s just that you’re too noob. Others can get 6 kills in 3 minutes in rapid mode. You steal the marksman’s 6 cannon minions in 3 minutes.]

[Dumb-dumb streamer, can only get carried playing support, huh? Hurry up and pick a fan to carry you. Pick me first.]

[Good news: ran into a streamer in the game. Bad news: the streamer is Yaya Can’t Win.]

Lin Linya was in a decent mental state. The initial losing streak had tilted him, but he had calmed down now. Unhappy, he scowled. “What kind of people are you, not even comforting me after so many losses.”

“You fake fans.”

He lowered his head. “I really can’t take this anymore. Wait for a sec, I’ll call in reinforcements. Tonight, I must get a five-win streak in Quick Match.”

He scrolled through his WeChat chat list, saw the chat log where the last message was a ‘Good night’, and initiated a voice call.

He wasn’t holding out much hope. He never expected the other side to pick up instantly.

A lazy male voice came from the other end. “Looking for me?”

Bullet comments:

[??? Our Yaya is already this close with Bro Chu?!]

[Can’t win? Just call your husband, huh.]

[This is major face points right here. That’s Chu Fengyi we’re talking about!]

Lin Linya winked smugly at the camera. He cleared his throat dramatically and asked, in a slow, drawn-out voice, “Brother, what are you doing?”