Chapter 5

After that single game, Lin Linya already felt like he’d become the Underling to a Big Bro. He called out “Bro” even more enthusiastically and smoothly. “Bro Yi, what should I play next game?”

Chu Fengyi leaned back in his chair, rubbing his wrist. “Just pick whatever you usually like to play. Wait, let me check your common heroes first.”

Saying this, he casually opened Lin Linya’s game profile and immediately, “…”

It was his first time seeing a streamer with only 120 total games played, over 80 of them on Anana, with a Win Rate over 80%. Saying this wasn’t boosted by some huge simp was something he wouldn’t believe.

Thinking again, wasn’t he that huge simp right now? Instantly, another “…”

[LOL, Chu Bro is stunned, right? Our Wife is a genuine Novice. He’s not pretending to be bad, he’s genuinely bad.]

[Who dares say our Yaya Baby, with an 80%+ Win Rate, is bad? The strongest enchanter support, alright.]

[Only knows how to get boosted by others, such a useless Little Brother. No skills whatsoever. Isn’t Anana a hero anyone with hands can play?]

[The male fan’s comment above is hilarious. Useless, but ‘Little Brother useless’. Must suck seeing your own Wife playing games with another skilled guy, hehe.]

The mic on the other end went silent. Lin Linya didn’t need to think to know he’d seen his Stats, and felt a little embarrassed. “Actually, my hero pool is really shallow, I can only play a few…”

Chu Fengyi raised an eyebrow. He held back, and then held back again, but finally couldn’t hold back any longer. “You call that a hero pool? It’s a hero puddle at best. And by ‘can play’, do you just mean knowing how to walk independently in the Canyon?”

Lin Linya’s face flushed bright red at his words; he couldn’t say a single thing in retort. He just silently preselected a Mage when Chu Fengyi started the next game.

He muted his mic and told the danmaku huffily, “I need to prove myself.”

[Baby, don’t prove yourself. We know your Mage is godlike. Go play enchanters, be good.]

[Poor teammates!]

Although he’d preselected a Mage, he was the fifth pick. By the time his turn came to pick, only the Support role was left. He reluctantly switched to a support. “It’s not that I can’t play, it’s just only the Support role is left.”

But this game, he didn’t play Anana. Instead, he chose Master Roshi, a hero very tanky in Late Game and strong at initiating team fights.

Chu Fengyi picked a Marksman this game. Watching the little white-bearded old man hobbling inside the Fountain with a turtle shell on his back, he couldn’t help the corner of his mouth curving up. “I get it. How much longer are you going to stand guard in the Fountain? Did the floor glue your feet down?”

Lin Linya also wanted to keep up with Chu Fengyi, but the hero Master Roshi, carrying that heavy, large turtle shell, walked incredibly slowly. Chu Fengyi would walk a bit, then have to stop and wait for him.

By the time the two reached their lane, the enemy Marksman had already cleared one Minion Wave.

Chu Fengyi leisurely cleared the Minion Wave that had walked to their own Tower. In the blink of an eye, Master Roshi was gone. He panned the camera over to Master Roshi and almost laughed out of exasperation.

The little old man with the turtle shell was standing imposingly under the enemy Defense Turret, spamming Recall Taunts non-stop. The enemy Marksman fired a burst at him, but it barely scratched his HP, utterly harmless. He looked incredibly pleased with himself.

When Lin Linya had finished playing around and came back, walking Under the Tower to eat a Berry that restored HP, he heard a soft chuckle through his headset.

“What’s this playstyle now, Taunt-Build Little Turtle?”

“No…” Lin Linya obediently went into the Brush to hide with Chu Fengyi’s Kiki. “Before, when I played Anana, the enemies always pushed me around. I went to vent some frustration.”

Previously, the supports he played all had low HP. If they didn’t follow the Marksman and peeked out, they’d get hit and be instantly controlled by the enemy. When had he ever experienced this joy of standing tall and unshakeable?

He snuggled up ingratiatingly next to Chu Fengyi. “Sticking close!”

Chu Fengyi, without giving him any face, switched to a different Brush to hide in, and drawled out a single sentence, “Go away, ugly thing.”

Lin Linya nearly passed out from anger! This was the first time anyone had called him an ugly thing.

Leaning on his Cane, he was itching to immediately leave this Orphan Lane that had broken his heart, when he heard Chu Fengyi say to him, “Little Turtle, come here. Got a Kill for you.”

He instantly trotted over eagerly. This game, the enemy Support was still in Mid Lane, helping their Mid Laner develop. The only one Laning against them was an Arrow Tome user.

The Arrow Tome’s HP had been whittled down by Kiki until it was barely visible. Just as he was about to retreat Under the Tower to eat a Berry for HP, Lin Linya, who had Flashed forward, whacked him dead with one Cane strike. The enemy was utterly dumbfounded.

Lin Linya had panicked the moment he saw the Arrow Tome about to escape, terrified the kill Chu Fengyi had given him would get away. He’d even burned his Flash just to secure that First Blood of the game.

First blood!

He had just breathed a sigh of relief when Chu Fengyi’s teasing voice came through. “Relax, the kill wasn’t going anywhere. Wouldn’t want you to sprain your geriatric turtle back Flashing like that.”

Lin Linya, “…”

He muted his mic and complained to the danmaku, “This Chu Fengyi, why is his mouth so mean?”

[Ah well, Bro Chu just has that dog-like temper. He’s actually pretty decent. Before, when he duo queued with a Female Streamer, she wanted to stir up CP rumors, kept using her forced, cutesy voice to leech off his popularity. Bro Chu wouldn’t even give her the time of day.]

[Who doesn’t know that back when Fanta played esports, he got multiple league Mute Warnings? After retiring and going into Retirement Mode, his temper’s gotten much better.]

[Besides, who wouldn’t want to bully Little Ya? He must look so cute when he cries, right? Tear drops hanging off his cheeks, would he meow when you push him down?]

[Hehe, Yaya Little Sister, you don’t wanna lose this star, do ya?]

Seeing the danmaku getting increasingly perverted, Lin Linya turned them off again, out of sight, out of mind.

The enemy Support, seeing their own Marksman being bullied badly, also came up to help. A little Kitty leaped nimbly out of the Brush and jumped onto the enemy Marksman’s head.

After over a hundred games, this was the first time Lin Linya had been matched against this hero. The Kitty wasn’t just cute, it also wore a little bell on its chest and could jump back and forth on the Marksman’s head.

He was instantly charmed and asked Chu Fengyi, “What hero is that enemy Kitty? Is it also a support? I’ve never even played it.”

Chu Fengyi glanced at Lin Linya’s excited little face and swallowed the words “a rather useless hero,” changing them to, “You want to play it too? This hero is very simple.”

“I’ll teach you in a bit.”

Lin Linya muted his mic again, but this time his comment turned into a heartfelt sigh. “Fanta really is such a good person.”

[Just a method to please Yaya Baby.]

[Umm, if I remember correctly, didn’t Bro Chu say on stream before that this hero was useless? He even asked the Devs when they were going to delete this hero.]

[Just a method to get our Yaya Baby to pocket him, that’s all.]

[Totally understandable. He was just an inexperienced old virgin before, couldn’t possibly understand this kind of Little Couple’s fun.]

Chu Fengyi was still unaware that Lin Linya had just given him the Friendzone Card on his own stream. He started the next game, and seeing Lin Linya lock in the Kitty, he preselected the Warp Drifter himself.

But this time, the random teammates they matched with weren’t as easygoing. They told Lin Linya to switch heroes. [Please don’t play Cat, okay? This hero isn’t that useful.]

[Sigh, I hate matching with girls the most. They always love playing these flashy heroes, and only know how to become a Pocket Duo in team fights.]

Lin Linya hadn’t known this hero was so unpopular. He asked quietly, “Bro Yi, should I switch? It seems like they don’t want me to play this.”

Silence filled the mic, as if defaulting to the teammates’ opinions.

“What should I do, Bro Yi’s ignoring me too,” Lin Linya bit his lower lip, looking utterly pitiful.

The other three people were likely in a Trio Queue, chiming in together, one after another, making Lin Linya too scared to play the Cat. When the enemy team’s ban phase started, he silently switched the Cat to Master Roshi.

Chu Fengyi had gone to get a glass of water. When he came back and saw the message log, he frowned with some displeasure. He casually opened Lin Linya’s Livestream Room, saw him hugging his knees and staring blankly at the Computer screen, and cleared his throat.

Lin Linya was still listless. “What’s up, Bro? Did you catch a cold?”

Chu Fengyi said calmly, “No, went to get some water just now. Just play Cat. Just stick with me later.”

Lin Linya immediately perked up, his voice turning sweet again. “Okay, Bro! I’ll definitely be a good bodyguard for you. Whoever Bullies you is messing with me!”

Having gotten the hero he wanted, the little Kitty bounced and hopped along behind the assassin in the trench coat, diligently helping him kill the small jungle camps, helping him secure his Buff. As soon as he hit Level 4, he couldn’t wait to attach himself to him.

The tortured teammates, assuming they were a Couple, complained, [Can the Pocket Duo stop showing off their love? Don’t you see the Marksman is stuck in 1v2 hell?]

The Enemy Jungler also realized their Marksman was an easy Gank. Barely after clearing half his Jungle, he brought his Mid Laner, plus their own Marksman and Support already in the Lane, swaggering over to Orphan Lane for a Tower Dive.

But none of them noticed the assassin suddenly bursting out of a nearby Brush, a little Cat perched on his head. As soon as the Cat activated Disrupt, the assassin’s blade slashed into them, their HP chunks tearing away.

Only then did they realize it was a trap. They tried to escape but were controlled Under the Tower, unable to move. In under three minutes, they’d fed four kills.

Seeing the Jungler take four kills, the other three players finally shut up.

Next, the Jungler with the Disrupt-spell Cat became unchallenged, not only perfectly securing kills in lanes every attempt, but also treating the enemy Jungle as his own personal farm.

Sent back to the Fountain once more, the Enemy Jungler returned to his own Jungle, wondering if there was any scrap left to scavenge.

And so he saw, inside his own Blue Buff pit, a familiar sight—the assassin in the black trench coat, bringing his Blue Buff down to a single sliver of HP. He left it for the little Cat Support beside him, then swept away with the Cat, leaving the enemy Jungler nearly coughing blood from anger.

This was Lin Linya’s first time following a Jungler to Invade the enemy Jungle. He was as nervous as a cat stealing fish from someone else’s kitchen, muttering non-stop, “Are enemies coming? The Enemy Jungler respawned, let’s get out of here fast.”

“Don’t we have our own Buffs? Why are we taking theirs? Isn’t this stealing from others?”

He opened the scoreboard to see. Chu Fengyi’s Warp Drifter had the highest Gold in the entire game. The enemy Marksman had been killed so many times by him he was only worth 20 gold. How was he still this greedy?

Chu Fengyi was getting a headache from his nagging and stopped his actions. “This Blue Buff is for you. Shut your mouth.”

Lin Linya immediately stopped lecturing him and happily accepted the buff, then added, “Bro, you’re the best. You’re the first Jungler to ever give me a buff.”

[You really are the master of face-changing, right?]

[So a single buff can bribe Yaya Baby, huh? Just tell me straight, how many Carnivals do I gotta send to get flirty with Yaya Baby?]

[My Ya, you better listen to what you just said.]

[The ‘Slowly Sprouting’ CP fans are crying. Have you forgotten all the buffs and Health Packs Brother Slow gave you in those past games? In the end, his affections were misplaced.]

[Actually, what the Wife said isn’t exactly wrong. Brother Slow mostly plays Clash Lane and Marksman. Chu Bro really is the first Jungler to let him have a buff.]

The female fans in Chu Fengyi’s Livestream Room were also dumbstruck. [Bro? Did that little streamer on the other end put a curse on you? You actually gave him the Blue Buff?]

[That darn little streamer, how can he be so scheming? Like a bad younger brother who specializes in scamming money through online dating.]

[LOL, with that IQ, scamming money? He’d probably get caught instantly. He wouldn’t dare ask for large transfers either, afraid of getting reported. He’d just have to pout at Sister and say, ‘Sis, I’m so hungry, I wanna order takeout.’ Zero tricks up his sleeve.]

[Sob, don’t say that. If there was a cute, silly Wife like this who knew how to act spoiled, I’d definitely be the first to shower him with Skins, order him takeout, whatever he wants to eat, it’s on me.]