11:08 PM.
Jiang Mian stared at the time displayed on his phone screen and let out a soft sigh.
He couldn’t sleep.
Even though he was tired today. After the Moot Court, his plan was to go home, eat, shower, memorize the remaining legal articles, and then sleep. But after returning home, he couldn’t memorize anything, couldn’t watch the lectures.
And now, lying in bed, he still couldn’t sleep.
Because his mind was still filled with the scene from this afternoon when Chen Gu drove him home.
Upon hearing his words, Chen Gu’s focus was entirely elsewhere: “That was your brother?”
Having effectively punched himself with his own words again, Jiang Mian was completely incapable of thinking, responding purely on instinct. “Yeah.”
“By blood?”
“Yeah.”
The dark clouds accumulated in Chen Gu’s heart finally dispersed. He looked at Jiang Mian, who suddenly seemed to radiate pure “obedience” from head to toe, and leisurely addressed the second half of that sentence. “He’s right.”
His voice was lazy, like wind carrying desert sand, slightly gritty yet exceptionally magnetic and alluring. “Jiang Mian, isn’t your intuition usually quite sharp?”
The implication was clear: Didn’t you already know?
Already completely bombarded by shock, Jiang Mian seemed to have hit rock bottom only to bounce back, his mind barely returning.
He stared blankly at Chen Gu. Although he still basically couldn’t calm down completely, his instinct was to refuse.
But before the refusal could leave his mouth, Chen Gu cut him off. “I was just telling you. There’s no other meaning.”
Jiang Mian: “…”
Chen Gu: “So you don’t need to answer.”
The words Jiang Mian had prepared were completely choked back by those two sentences.
It wasn’t until the car started, with Chen Gu saying he’d take him home, that Jiang Mian, amidst the cold air conditioning, thought in a tangled mess—
Could one really do that?
And now, lying in bed, Jiang Mian’s mind was still full of: Can one really do that?
Now that things were out in the open, if Chen Gu asked him out later, should he go or not?
How was he supposed to meet Chen Gu? What attitude was he supposed to adopt when they met?
Jiang Mian sighed again.
Interpersonal relationships were so hard.
Unable to sleep, Jiang Mian sat up and opened the bedside drawer.
Inside the drawer still lay one of Chen Gu’s wrist guards and the pink rabbit hair tie. Both were carefully kept in a box. Even the hair tie was inside a small protective dust bag within the box.
Should he return these soon?
Kneeling in front of the nightstand, Jiang Mian unconsciously raised a hand and pressed his fingertips against his chest.
In the quiet of the night, he could clearly feel the heart beating beneath the thin layer of clothing and flesh.
And there, an indescribable feeling was spreading, like a rusty saw being pulled back and forth.
He couldn’t tell if it was pain or ache. In any case, it made his mind restless and troubled.
Jiang Mian didn’t know he wasn’t the only one unable to sleep.
Chen Gu was too.
Last time, Jiang Mian’s fingertips merely grazing his palm had been hard to endure for a long time. This time, he had directly grabbed Jiang Mian’s wrist and held it for so long. Throughout the entire drive sending Jiang Mian home, he had been holding back.
As soon as Jiang Mian got out of the car, Chen Gu couldn’t help scratching his own arm. His nails were trimmed, so the first scratch wasn’t too bad. But afterward, all the way home, he kept scratching the back of the hand that had touched Jiang Mian. From faint red marks at first, to the skin finally giving in, breaking, and oozing blood, protesting painfully—still, he couldn’t control himself.
He had a condition.
A somewhat ridiculous psychological condition.
Doctors called it “Touch Starvation.”
And Chen Gu’s touch starvation was very unusual.
He himself was extremely averse to all physical contact. Last time he had to politely shake hands with someone, the first thing he did upon excusing himself to the restroom was wash his hands with most of a bottle of liquid soap, scrubbing until his skin was about to peel, his fingertips wrinkled from the water, yet still unable to suppress the irritation and chill.
But when Jiang Mian’s fingertip accidentally brushed his palm base that time, Chen Gu’s first reaction wasn’t to wash his hands. It was to want to grab Jiang Mian. He could feel a voice inside him craving more contact.
So much so that a terrifying thought rose in his mind—
Wanting to flay Jiang Mian’s skin off and make it into clothing, to wear against him forever.
And now, Chen Gu had scratched every exposed part of his body except his face bloody. Under his fingernails, dark grime accumulated, washed away only to be replaced by fresh blood. No amount of stinging pain could alleviate even a little of the episode.
This was the first time it had been like this.
It felt as if millions of ants were biting every cell in his body. Only Jiang Mian, the specific pesticide, could make it stop.
Chen Gu knew Jiang Mian was soft-hearted. If he called Jiang Mian now, even if Jiang Mian hesitated, he would definitely rush over to see him.
But he couldn’t.
Chen Gu sat in his studio, gazing at the rows of willow leaf eyes newly hung on the wall—smiling or laughing, calm or serious… Every expression Jiang Mian had shown him was captured on canvas, forming dozens of eyes watching Chen Gu.
He tilted his head tenderly, looking up at one pair of slightly curved eyes. Yet the hand clawing at his own arm showed no mercy. A faint metallic scent of rust spread through the room. Under the dim lighting, Chen Gu’s puppy-dog eyes, which should have been pitifully endearing, appeared exceptionally obscure.
Jiang Mian’s intuition wasn’t wrong.
Chen Gu, from head to toe, was etched with the word “danger.”
Because even now, he was still scheming.
He was weaving a net, wanting Jiang Mian to jump into it willingly.
——
Chen Gu had gone silent.
When Jiang Mian heard this, he was still watching Bar Exam videos.
He paused, hit pause on his tablet. “Say that again?”
“I said, I can’t reach my brother.” Chen Yishen’s end was also somewhat noisy, so he didn’t notice Jiang Mian’s speech was slightly faster than usual. “Aren’t I going on one last trip before school starts, taking Huihui to the mainland?”
Seeing he was about to veer off-topic, Jiang Mian interrupted. “Go back to your brother.”
Chen Yishen oh-ed. “Well, he asked me to bring him back some specific local knickknacks to inspire his art. Before I left yesterday, I called to ask what he wanted, but he didn’t answer. Then today, I called several times, still no answer.”
Chen Yishen called yesterday. He and Chen Gu had met the day before yesterday.
“Why didn’t you call more times yesterday?”
“Ah, well, I figured he was busy or maybe painting…”
Jiang Mian couldn’t stop his brow from furrowing deeply. “You know the South Boundary isn’t like everywhere else. He doesn’t know his way around here. What if something happened?”
Chen Yishen paused.
It seemed like… the first time he’d seen Jiang Mian angry?
Chen Yishen wasn’t even sure if this was Jiang Mian being angry. He could only say, “I didn’t think too much about it.”
He paused. “I called you to ask, could you go to his place to check on him?”
“I can.” Jiang Mian had already shut off his tablet and was getting up to change clothes. “Send me the address.”
Jiang Mian knew how slowly he drove, so he didn’t plan to drive there. Besides, summer vacation wasn’t completely over yet, and the roads in the South Boundary would definitely be clogged. The subway was fastest.
And Chen Gu’s place wasn’t far from his, just six subway stops, both near subway entrances.
But there was one problem. The residential compound where Chen Gu lived was like his own—the security guards were very strict with people who didn’t have access cards.
So, Jiang Mian could only say he was looking for Chen Gu. He even gave the apartment number, asking the guard to contact him first.
But Chen Gu didn’t answer.
Jiang Mian took a deep breath and said calmly, “His younger brother is worried something might have happened. He’s an overseas returnee, not familiar with the South Boundary. That’s why he asked me to come check.”
The guard looked at him dubiously. “I can let you in, but I’ll have to accompany you.”
Jiang Mian nodded without hesitation.
So, in the end, Jiang Mian and the guard stood together outside Chen Gu’s door, ringing the doorbell.
The doorbell rang two or three times with no response from inside. The guard was mostly convinced, ready to call the police, when on the fourth ring, there was finally a reaction.
The door opened to reveal Chen Gu, hair loose, wearing a high-necked, long-sleeved shirt.
Seeing his outfit, Jiang Mian paused. The guard sighed in relief. “Handsome boy, you’re Chen Gu, right?”
Chen Gu nodded lazily, but his gaze was fixed on Jiang Mian, his tone relaxed yet tinged with disappointment. “And here I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again.”
Jiang Mian: “?”
The guard’s look at them changed.
Homosexual couples weren’t rare in the South Boundary, so most people living here were quite open-minded. The guard looked at the two of them speechlessly. “Handsome boy, even if it’s a lovers’ quarrel, you still need to answer the phone. Work things out properly, don’t make others worry.”
Jiang Mian: “We’re not…”
Chen Gu’s voice was gentle. “Sorry for making you worry. But we’re not.”
Jiang Mian paused.
He thought Chen Gu had done it on purpose.
Was it not?
After the guard left, Jiang Mian eventually stepped into Chen Gu’s home anyway.
It was his first time here. The decoration style was relatively simple, but there were many unique ornaments that made it look very comfortable.
Jiang Mian: “Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
Chen Gu said softly, “Was a bit unwell. Didn’t hear.”
Jiang Mian looked at him, puzzled, instinctively reaching out to feel his forehead. “Feverish?”
Today, Chen Gu seemed slightly listless. Although Jiang Mian’s intuition told him Chen Gu was faking it.
But he couldn’t think of a reason for Chen Gu to fake it.
As his hand moved toward Chen Gu’s forehead, Chen Gu suddenly leaned back slightly. Jiang Mian, caught off guard by the inertia, pitched forward.
He could have steadied himself, but Chen Gu deliberately used an arm to catch him, steadying him upright, then hissed softly, as if suppressing pain.
Jiang Mian frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
Chen Gu averted his head slightly, looking unwilling to elaborate. “Nothing.”
Jiang Mian paused. His intuition told him to just turn and leave. But impulse made him grab Chen Gu’s hand.
And strangely, Chen Gu, whose forearm was thicker than Jiang Mian’s calf, struggled slightly but somehow couldn’t break free from the much smaller Jiang Mian. His sleeve was “forcibly” rolled up.
Dense and gruesome blood streaks were exposed before Jiang Mian’s eyes. Jiang Mian’s pupils constricted, his whole body freezing.
Almost by instinct, he grabbed Chen Gu’s other hand to roll up that sleeve as well. That arm looked the same. And because Chen Gu had turned his head, the marks of scabs on his neck were also visible.
Jiang Mian’s mind was even blanker than when he’d been told Chen Gu liked him. “You…”
“I’m fine.”
Though Chen Gu said that, he didn’t move to pull his sleeves back down. He just kept his head turned, eyes lowered. “You should go back.”
Jiang Mian had completely forgotten that when he’d entered, Chen Gu had locked the door behind them. “What happened to you?”
With that question, Jiang Mian barely regained his voice. “Did you run into some trouble?”
Chen Gu lowered his lashes, silent.
He didn’t even need to force any expression. That face, those puppy-dog eyes, just falling silent for a moment was enough to pierce someone’s heart. Especially Jiang Mian, who was so easily softened.
“Chen Gu.”
It seemed like the first time Jiang Mian had spoken his name. “If something’s wrong, you can tell me.”
Unconsciously, Jiang Mian softened his voice. “I can help you.”
Chen Gu’s long lashes veiled the expression that flashed through his eyes. His tone remained light. “You can’t help me.”
“Why can’t I?”
Jiang Mian truly couldn’t understand why Chen Gu would do this to himself. Especially noticing the grime under Chen Gu’s nails, he guessed Chen Gu had done it himself. “You’ve helped me so much. I want to help you a little too… And weren’t you the one who said it? We’re friends.”
“Are you sure you want to help me?”
“Yeah.”
With that nod from Jiang Mian, Chen Gu raised his own hand. Before Jiang Mian could react, Chen Gu grabbed hold of him.
Jiang Mian paused, thinking Chen Gu wanted to take him somewhere. But what he didn’t expect was—
Chen Gu pulled him hard, making Jiang Mian’s whole body stagger and crash directly into his embrace, before being firmly locked in by a pair of solid arms.
Jiang Mian froze.
