Jiang Mian clutched the small Medicine Kit in his hands, truly at a complete loss.
He sat there dumbfounded. It wasn’t even a matter of jumbled thoughts anymore. His mind had gone completely blank.
He had truly, for as long as he could remember, never been held like this.
Never sat on someone’s lap, never been encircled in such a strong, powerful embrace.
Jiang Mian was precocious and independent, the quintessential “model child.”
Unlike Chen Gu, who couldn’t obtain it, he simply didn’t need those intimate contacts and gestures.
If one day his father, Jiang Liaoyi, suddenly hugged him, he would genuinely think Jiang Liaoyi had been body-snatched, or that the world was about to end.
Because these things felt awkward to Jiang Mian.
But Chen Gu, again and again—and now this…
Jiang Mian always felt like Chen Gu had dug out something from him that he didn’t even know he had.
Otherwise, how could he not describe what he was feeling right now?
It took Jiang Mian a long time to barely recover his voice. “Do you feel a bit better like this?”
Chen Gu responded: “Mm.”
He had longed to encircle Jiang Mian in his arms like this. Now that he was finally getting his wish, he truly felt much better.
“Then give me your hand. I’ll treat the wound.”
Having gotten to hold the person, Chen Gu was especially obedient. Whatever Jiang Mian said was law. He even let go of Jiang Mian’s hand very readily, because he still had his other arm around him anyway.
Jiang Mian placed the kit on his own lap, striving to ignore all the strange sensations. He opened it and first used a Cotton Ball dipped in Alcohol. “Tell me if it hurts.”
Chen Gu looked at the long, fair nape of Jiang Mian’s neck exposed right under his eyes as Jiang Mian bowed his head, feeling an itch in his teeth.
Especially that protruding spinous process. Chen Gu desperately wanted to lean in and bite it, just to see how Jiang Mian would react.
Those willow-leaf eyes, usually calm and cool, would probably be startled into panic by his action, looking at him with incredulous, bewildered eyes.
And Jiang Mian would probably never know how utterly bully-able, how utterly tempting to bully, he looked at that moment.
Chen Gu’s gaze swept over the faint Cinnabar Mole behind Jiang Mian’s right ear.
If he kissed it…
Fck.
Chen Gu cursed inwardly.
He knew he couldn’t keep thinking about it.
If he kept going, he truly wouldn’t be able to control himself and stop being a decent human being.
The current situation, in all aspects, was good. He couldn’t ruin this excellent setup himself.
He simply buried his face against Jiang Mian’s slightly hunched back, his forehead pressing against the back of Jiang Mian’s neck. This made Jiang Mian’s already unrelaxed body stiffen even more rigidly.
It also caused Jiang Mian’s hand force to deviate slightly. The tweezers gripping the cotton ball pressed hard into Chen Gu’s arm.
Chen Gu wasn’t afraid of pain; he just wasn’t numb to it.
The Tweezers, padded by cotton, poked the wound. Combined with the Alcohol, he inevitably let out a soft “hisss.”
Jiang Mian quickly lifted his hand, ignoring whatever other motions Chen Gu was making. “Sorry.”
He checked that Chen Gu wasn’t bleeding again before sighing in relief. “Did I hurt you?”
Chen Gu mm-ed.
He was indeed in pain, but not from this wound. It was his heart aching, provoked by Jiang Mian’s utter lack of defense.
Too many unclean thoughts raged within his mind. If he let them out, what they would devour wouldn’t be Chen Gu himself, but Jiang Mian.
The one who’d be hurt would only be Jiang Mian. So Chen Gu could only endure, enduring until even his bones ached, swallowing blood from his broken teeth into his stomach.
He couldn’t, after all, shatter such a good Jiang Mian.
——
Once Jiang Mian finished treating, medicating, and bandaging the wound, he slowly, carefully put away the kit.
They were both men. Although the air conditioner was running inside, autumn in South Boundary, without a typhoon passing through or the return of the South Wind Humidity, was endlessly hot and dry.
Jiang Mian was very aware of where he was sitting. He didn’t want to face that awkward situation, so every movement was exceptionally cautious.
After snapping the kit shut and feeling the rise and fall of Chen Gu’s chest, the breath that scattered from Chen Gu’s face buried against his back, Jiang Mian spoke.
His body involuntarily growing hot, breaking into a thin sweat even in the air-conditioned room. “Chen Gu.”
Jiang Mian asked softly: “Are you still not better?”
Those frustrations and agitations in Chen Gu’s heart had actually long since settled during the quiet time Jiang Mian silently applied his medicine. “Better.”
His voice had also returned to normal, no longer deliberately suppressed to feign pitifulness and suffering. But the smiling tone had become yet another weapon striking Jiang Mian’s soul. “But I still want to hold you.”
Jiang Mian: “…”
Chen Gu, really…
Was the difference between people who grew up abroad and those who grew up domestically truly this vast?
Jiang Mian had lost count of how many times Chen Gu’s directness had made his head spin.
He didn’t know what to say, but luckily, after just a short wait, Chen Gu voluntarily released him.
Jiang Mian got off him, his ears already too red to look at. He could only change the subject to defuse the sticky, syrupy atmosphere. “Delivery or go out to eat?”
Chen Gu remained sitting in the chair, tilting his head up, chuckling lightly as he looked at him. “You decide.”
His tone was lazy. “Whatever you say.”
Jiang Mian hesitated briefly. “Delivery. If we order from the campus food street, it can be delivered right downstairs.”
He added: “There’s a rice noodle roll place inside our school that’s also very good.”
As he spoke, Jiang Mian opened the South Boundary University campus mini-program, navigated to delivery, found that shop, and ordered a Shrimp Rice Noodle Roll for himself before handing his Cell Phone to Chen Gu.
Chen Gu: “You’re not eating anything else?”
Jiang Mian: “You decide. Whatever you order, I’ll eat.”
He paused, then slowly said: “I’m going to wash my face. The payment password is 560101.”
Chen Gu looked slightly surprised and laughed. “You trust me that much?”
Jiang Mian tilted his head slightly, a bit puzzled. “You’re not short on money.”
“Haven’t you heard that no one complains about having too much money?”
“Oh.”
Jiang Mian said seriously: “But I study law.”
Joking with Jiang Mian truly didn’t work, but Chen Gu loved teasing him precisely because of this. “Sir Jiang, you’re so cruel.”
He clutched his chest, a wounded look on his face. “You’d actually sue me?”
Jiang Mian: “…”
He couldn’t help it and asked with genuine sincerity: “Have you ever considered switching majors, maybe to the Performance Department?”
Chen Gu let out a muffled laugh. “Better not. I heard celebrities are super busy. Wouldn’t have time to pursue you.”
Jiang Mian: “?”
He looked at Chen Gu incredulously, unable to utter a single word.
Chen Gu, seriously… did his mouth just have no filter at all?!
——
After the delivery arrived, Jiang Mian went downstairs to get it.
Chen Gu didn’t insist on competing with him over it. One reason was that it was ordered on Jiang Mian’s phone; the second was that Chen Gu knew Jiang Mian didn’t like being looked after too carefully.
Jiang Mian appeared distant, and interacting with him felt slow and deliberate. He also looked slightly frail and slender. But he actually had a strong-willed personality.
He had his own pride.
Their dorm room was actually a bit smaller than the average, but there was still space.
Besides the lofted bed and desk setup, there was a small area serving as a lounge for relaxing.
Jiang Mian and Chen Yishen usually ate here.
Besides the rice noodle roll, Chen Gu had also ordered shrimp dumplings, golden cake, a trio of braised delicacies, and dipping sauces, filling the small table completely.
Chen Gu casually scrolled on his phone while Jiang Mian focused intently on his meal. He suddenly sighed. “Good thing you scolded me that day.”
Jiang Mian: “?”
He looked at Chen Gu in confusion, truly not understanding. “When did I ever scold you?”
Chen Gu reminded him: “That night on my birthday.”
Jiang Mian: “…”
He paused, recalling that day at the Agritainment Farm when, not knowing Chen Gu and Chen Yishen didn’t actually share the same birthday, he’d said those things to Chen Gu.
He still felt a bit guilty about what happened that day.
But he hadn’t expected Chen Gu would stab himself in the heart so mercilessly.
…Didn’t it hurt Chen Gu?
Jiang Mian looked at Chen Gu’s smiling eyes and thought to himself: Apparently, it really didn’t.
“I,” Jiang Mian defended himself in a small voice, “didn’t scold you.”
He muttered: “At most, it was advice.”
Biting into a shrimp dumpling, Chen Gu laughed. “Your face was colder than the air conditioner in this room right now.”
Jiang Mian looked blank. “Did I really?”
“You did. I still remember it vividly.”
Chen Gu wasn’t teasing Jiang Mian. “It was quite intimidating.”
Jiang Mian truly didn’t remember putting on a cold face. And to his recollection, he never really…
Chen Gu continued: “But it was good that you stopped me.”
Jiang Mian was puzzled.
So Chen Gu pushed his phone towards him. “If you hadn’t said those things and told me to stop, I probably would have made you lose such a good friend.”
Good thing Jiang Mian had stopped him that day.
Chen Gu thought.
Otherwise, he might have caused Jiang Mian to become like him—all these years, utterly alone, without a single friend.
——
Jiang Mian looked down. It was a forum post Chen Yishen and Zhou Yuhui had made, using their real names.
They had spoken out regarding yesterday’s thread, which had spiraled into increasingly strange territory full of conspiracy theories about Jiang Mian.
They posted many old chat logs, most from high school days.
Back then, Jiang Mian was helping Chen Yishen pursue Zhou Yuhui. Among the most concrete proof that he and Chen Yishen were just bros was a screenshot of a chat.
The screenshot was Jiang Mian messaging Chen Yishen, saying he’d heard from Zhou Yuhui’s classmates that she wasn’t feeling well today, telling Chen Yishen to go check what she needed.
He had even thoughtfully added a line: “If it’s that time of the month, don’t just tell her to drink hot water. Go buy her a brown sugar ginger drink, plus some chocolate and heating pads. If the pain is really bad, have some ibuprofen delivered, but don’t take ibuprofen too often, it has side effects. Motherwort is best.”
[Chen Yishen: Okay!! Jiang Mian, how are you so knowledgeable! You must be an angel sent from heaven to save my love life!]
[Jiang Mian: Search engine is your friend. Also, I found out for you that Zhou Yuhui’s birthday is next month. Remember to prepare a surprise.]
And also, during the first year Chen Yishen and Zhou Yuhui were together, Zhou Yuhui had asked Jiang Mian what to get Chen Yishen for his birthday. Jiang Mian also seriously gave suggestions, listing things Chen Yishen liked.
Zhou Yuhui then asked what Jiang Mian was getting, and Jiang Mian replied: “Same as before, this year’s new phone.”
[Zhou Yuhui: Ah, I thought you were planning to get him a Gundam. Isn’t a phone too expensive?]
[Jiang Mian: I have money, but no time to pick one out for him.]
In other words, very perfunctory.
In their posted chat logs, Jiang Mian was purely a love-life tool.
He mediated when they fought, helped brainstorm when they picked out gifts.
Smart people reading the thread said: If Jiang Mian had even a sliver of ulterior motives, he could’ve easily made these two break up.
After reading it, Jiang Mian felt a warmth spreading in his heart.
He knew Chen Yishen and Zhou Yuhui were very good friends, but he never imagined they’d go to such lengths, digging up chat logs from so long ago, just to speak up for him.
This had to be four or five years old, right?
He’d put so much effort into helping Chen Yishen and Zhou Yuhui because the first time Chen Yishen introduced him to Zhou Yuhui, he had seen it.
Zhou Yuhui actually liked Chen Yishen too. But back then, they were young, full of immaturity and instability that could easily lead them astray.
Chen Yishen was his only friend at the time. The first time Zhou Yuhui met him, hearing he had a cold, she promptly vetoed the iced drink when ordering milk tea. At the end of the day after they parted ways, she’d handed him a box of a niche brand cold medicine, saying it worked really well.
Jiang Mian always remembered. They treated him well, so he treated them well in return.
Jiang Mian pushed Chen Gu’s phone back. Probably because Chen Gu had voluntarily brought up this topic, he asked, almost on a whim: “You admitted it?”
Chen Gu leaned against the little sofa, mixing his rice noodle roll casually. “If you do something, own it. Nothing to be ashamed of admitting.”
That said, his tone inevitably cooled slightly. “I was very jealous of him back then.”
Jiang Mian’s lips moved, but before he could organize words of comfort, Chen Gu’s gaze locked onto him again. “Jiang Mian, have you ever hated me?”
Hated that version of him who wanted to hurt his own little brother?
Jiang Mian shook his head and spoke truthfully: “Human emotions are very complex. No one can become a true saint.”
He said seriously: “Everyone makes mistakes. The key isn’t the mistake itself, but whether you know you were wrong afterward and whether you’ll repent.”
“Clearly, you know, and now you’ve learned to cherish things.”
After he said this, he met Chen Gu’s focused gaze and suddenly felt a bit sheepish. “Am I being too nosy, too preachy?”
“No.” Chen Gu smiled. “Sir Jiang, you truly have no idea how good you look when you talk about these principles.”
Jiang Mian couldn’t understand.
Chen Gu hooked his lips, his casual voice tinged with laughter. He couldn’t hold back any longer: “Makes me really want to kiss you.”
Jiang Mian: “!”
He looked at Chen Gu incredulously, the tips of his ears burning hot again.
No matter how many times, he was always jolted by that mouth of Chen Gu’s.
Chen Gu…
Why was he acting like a hooligan?!
