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Chapter 43: Anomalous Time 09


In a restaurant near the hospital, bright lights illuminated the space. Colorful menu sheets lay spread across the table, and the little box in front of the candied sweet potatoes already bore the first checkmark.

The little boy, now dressed in normal clothes, sat hesitantly in the chair across from them. He stared nervously at the crowd passing by outside the glass display window.

“Maybe I should just head back. Forget the meeting…”

Yuan Yuxing muttered under his breath, his heart full of trepidation. “I don’t think Old Zhang will even show up with Little Bai and the others. He’s not easy to fool.”

“Little Bai will definitely bring him over, Uncle Yuan. Don’t worry about nothing.”

Yan Jing was deep in concentration over the menu. He offered the casual reassurance without looking up.

He started by ordering the candied sweet potatoes Yu Bai had specifically requested. Then he slid the menu slightly toward the side and turned to the child beside him. “He Xi, what do you want? How about sweet and sour pork?”

The little girl sitting next to him tilted her face up to peer at the menu. She nodded quickly. “Eat… I can eat anything.”

Yan Jing checked the box next to sweet and sour pork. “No idea how good they make it here, but Little Bai loves this dish.”

Outside the restaurant’s display window, an elderly man with graying hair walked past alongside a young man. Yuan Yuxing jolted in alarm. He whipped his head back around and forced a picture of calm composure.

Not two seconds later, he sneaked another glance. Realizing it wasn’t the person they were waiting for, he let out a disappointed sigh.

“Why haven’t they shown up yet? It’s been forever. What if something happened to Old Zhang?” Yuan Yuxing began to fret aloud. “Big guy, where’s your phone? Give Little Bai a call for me!”

“…”

Yan Jing shot him a sidelong, faintly exasperated glance. “How long have we even been apart from Little Bai and Brother Xie? We just walked in, and our butts aren’t even warm in these seats yet. Uncle Yuan, you’re way too worked up.”

The little girl thought for a moment before chiming in softly to comfort him. “Grandpa, don’t worry. The other grandpa will come for sure. What do you want to eat?”

After learning that the little boy—a bit shorter than her—was actually sixty-seven years old, eight-year-old He Xi had immediately and politely addressed him as Grandpa. It brought great comfort to Old Man Yuan, who had been mistaken for a child multiple times over the past couple of days. He sighed inwardly that she truly was the flower of the nation’s future.

“It’s been at least ten minutes!” Yuan Yuxing glanced up at the clock on the restaurant wall, though his words rang insincere. “I’m not anxious at all. Just asking. Go ahead and order—I’ll eat whatever.”

“Got it.” Yan Jing turned back to He Xi. “Braised pork? This picture looks pretty good.”

He Xi blinked her big eyes, swallowing involuntarily. “I’ll eat it.”

Yuan Yuxing fell quiet for less than a minute before resuming his muttering. “I think I still look a lot like I did as a kid. What if Old Zhang recognizes me? It’d be awful if he got too excited and couldn’t handle it—that’d be a huge sin on my part…”

“Mm-hmm.” Yan Jing didn’t raise his head. “How about chicken mushroom stew too?”

The little girl’s voice rang out clear and bright, her initial shyness fading away. “Sure.”

Yuan Yuxing pondered for a moment, his face twisting in conflict. “But if he doesn’t recognize me at all, I think I’d feel a little hurt too. We’ve known each other for so many years! How could he not know me?”

“You’re right.” Yan Jing kept checking boxes on the menu, musing aloud. “We’ve got plenty of meat now. Let’s add some vegetables. Where are they?”

Sharp-eyed He Xi pointed them out right away. “Here, here.”

“Great. Little Bai and I aren’t big on greens, and Brother Xie doesn’t strike me as the vegetarian type—anything you want, He Xi?”

“…”

Yuan Yuxing slammed the table in frustration. “Big guy, are you even listening to me?!”

“Nope!” Yan Jing slammed his own hand down righteously in response. “I’m busy ordering food. I’m hungry!”

The little girl jumped in surprise, staring at them wide-eyed. She ventured cautiously, “D-don’t get mad. I’ll eat any vegetables.”

“…Don’t be scared. I’m not mad.” The little boy swallowed a bellyful of crude retorts he couldn’t voice. Instead, he propped his head in his hands, feigning dizziness. “Agh, I just miss Little Bai.”

Yan Jing passed the heavily marked-up menu to the waitress, grumbling. “I miss him too. And I miss Brother Xie even more. Uncle Yuan, you wouldn’t dare slam the table in front of him.”

“As if you would! Little coward!”

“Heh, who’s the little one now?”

The waitress chuckled at the bickering between the table’s big customer and little guests as she took the menu. Casually, she remarked, “Why not order on your phones? It’s way more convenient.”

The old-soul little customer sighed. “Left mine at the hospital.”

The buff big customer intoned gravely, “Mine fell in the toilet.”

The little girl, who had been listening quietly, murmured softly, “I… I don’t have one.”

“…”

Shocked and baffled, the waitress clutched the menu. She blurted out, “Ah! Sorry, I didn’t realize.”

Wait—why was she apologizing?

They’d just forgotten their phones, that was all!

“Um… I’ll put the order in right away. Please wait just a moment.”

The young waitress felt nearly carried away by the group’s bizarre vibe. Dazed, she clutched the flimsy menu sheet and wove through the crowded restaurant aisle, which buzzed with evening patrons, toward the ordering counter.

The place hummed with noise all around her. Suddenly, the door swung open with a whoosh, followed by the layered patter of footsteps.

She turned instinctively, joining the other staff in calling out, “Welcome!”

And then she felt even more dazed.

Dim lights hung low, the air thick with the essence of night. The street outside blurred into hazy shadow. Yet her gaze locked onto a pair of light-colored eyes, clear as amber.

Beside them shimmered an even more striking gray-blue.

The guest at the center asked her politely, “I’m looking for some friends. There are three of them—including two kids…”

Before he could finish, the black-haired man with blue eyes beside him murmured lowly, “Over there.”

He followed the direction of the voice, then smiled faintly at the stunned waitress. “Found them. No need to bother—thanks.”

He glanced back at the elderly man trailing them. “Uncle Zhang, this way.”

The mild-mannered old man had been studying a note the whole time. He looked up at the words. “All right, all right, Little Doctor Yu.”

The group made their way toward the table with its one adult and two children.

The waitress hurriedly stepped aside, flustered as she replied softly, “N-no trouble at all.”

She watched their retreating backs, rooted to the spot in a daze for quite some time.

These three customers… they didn’t seem like ordinary folk.

She wasn’t the only one who thought so. Plenty of other diners in the restaurant were stealing glances their way.

The waitress sighed to herself until a sudden realization hit her.

Wait—what had she come over here for, anyway?

She slapped her forehead. At last, she remembered the marked-up menu in her hand and dashed toward the counter.

She had to put in that table’s order!

After a brief hush, the lively night crowd filled the restaurant with noise once more.

Yu Bai led Zhang Yunjiang toward Yan Jing’s table while saying, “Uncle Zhang, I hope you don’t think I was too forward. You just feel so familiar to me.”

“Ah, no, not at all,” the old man replied hastily. “If I remind you of your grandfather, that’s fate.”

“Besides, you brought me news about Old Yuan. I haven’t even thanked you yet.”

He gripped the note tightly and smiled. “Now that I’m at ease, I realize I’m starving. Thanks for the meal—it’s on you. I showed up pretty shamelessly, so I hope your friends won’t mind.”

Yu Bai had met Zhang Yunjiang and passed along Yuan Yuxing’s farewell note. From there, he’d invited the old man with the line, “You remind me so much of my late grandfather—care to join us for a casual meal?”

…That was virtual grandpa making a second appearance.

Truth be told, Yu Bai had no idea if his never-met grandfather was still alive, or even who he was.

The whole point of the gesture was to give Yuan Yuxing a chance to see his long-deceased friend from the real world one more time.

Yu Bai figured another old man like his grandfather would understand.

Assuming the man was still around.

Yu Bai offered a silent apology in his heart. Then, with some surprise, he eyed the table now right in front of them.

Yan Jing sat there wearing a bizarre expression, while He Xi waited obediently at his side.

How had it dwindled to just two?

Where was the other main player for this dinner?

Yu Bai blurted in astonishment, “Yuan—er, where’s the other one?”

Yan Jing hesitated, his face a mask of profound embarrassment. “He… well, it’s hard to explain.”

He Xi answered him with perfect honesty. “Grandpa’s under the table.”

Yu Bai blinked in confusion. “Under… what?”

He Xi, utterly unfazed, and Yan Jing, who couldn’t bring himself to watch, pointed in perfect unison at the table.

“…”

Yu Bai paused to process it. Then his eyes flew wide in disbelief.

Xie Wufang, standing calmly at his side, remarked, “I saw him duck under the table right when we walked in.”

Zhang Yunjiang, who had been somewhat anxious up to that point, asked curiously, “What grandpa?”

As soon as he spoke, the tablecloth draped around the dining table quivered.

Right after, a fair-featured little boy emerged from under the table with his head lowered. In a casual tone, he said, “Oops, I was picking something up and nearly bumped my head. This damn table.”

Yu Bai listened to his overly contrived explanation and glanced at the boy’s empty hands. He really had to fight back a laugh.

If you’re going to use picking something up as an excuse, at least hold something!

Can’t you act a little more like an adult, Uncle Yuan?

Hiding under the table like a actual kid!

Zhang Yunjiang regarded the little boy who had suddenly appeared from beneath the table and burst out laughing for real. “I thought there was an old man hiding under there.”

Yu Bai recalled He Xi’s blurted-out word and hurriedly explained, “No grandpa, Uncle Zhang—you misheard.”

“He’s a distant nephew of mine,” Yu Bai said, taking the initiative to introduce him. “His name is… Yu Hang. Hang, as in navigation.”

This was the cover story Yu Bai had hastily cooked up with Yuan Yuxing before they arrived.

“Xing” had multiple pronunciations, and “Yu” sounded just like “Yuan,” so they had settled on this half-true, half-fake alias.

It sounded nothing like Yuan Yuxing on the surface, but at its core, it was the same person.

Zhang Yunjiang detected nothing amiss and simply praised it. “Yu Hang? That’s a fine name.”

His voice slowed, his expression turning thoughtful, as if he were sifting through the vast sea of poetry for the perfect line.

At those familiar words, the little boy—who had kept his head down—finally couldn’t resist lifting his eyes. He muttered under his breath, “Bad habit! Always quoting poetry…”

Zhang Yunjiang had already recalled the matching verse, but that tiny voice made him pause. His aged ears weren’t what they used to be, so he hadn’t caught it clearly. He bent down and asked in a warm voice, “Little friend, what did you say?”

When he got a good look at the boy’s face, he let out a short, startled sound. “You…”

Yu Bai’s heart jumped into his throat. A flurry of possible explanations raced through his mind, and he instinctively glanced at Xie Wufang beside him.

Yuan Yuxing’s childlike features only vaguely resembled his elderly ones. It shouldn’t be recognizable at first glance.

…Uncle Zhang wouldn’t get too shocked, would he?

What if he had a cerebral hemorrhage?!

A complex, unspoken emotion flickered in those pale eyes that had never left him, and Xie Wufang asked softly, “Something wrong?”

At the same moment, Yuan Yuxing—who had just reunited with his long-deceased friend—tensed up as well. He stammered, “W-what’s wrong with me!”

In the group’s bated breath, white-haired Zhang Yunjiang hesitated for a beat.

Then, in an even gentler tone, he bent lower and asked in surprise, “Little friend, why are you crying?”

“…”

Yu Bai finally let his heart settle and breathed a sigh of relief. Leaning toward the man beside him, he whispered, “It’s fine, Little Xie. You nearly scared me to death just now.”

Warm breath ghosted over his ear. Xie Wufang started slightly and followed Yu Bai’s gaze toward these inscrutable humans.

At some point, the little boy’s eyes had gone red. Teardrops the size of beans trembled on his lashes, on the verge of falling, yet he shot back reflexively, “Don’t call me little friend! I didn’t cry!”

Tonight’s lights blazed so brightly that his eyes stung and swelled. He sniffled, then—in front of the old friend he had parted from in death only to reunite with—offered an insincere excuse in a small voice. “I bumped my head… I already said it’s this damn table.”


God as Neighbor

God as Neighbor

与神为邻
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

To gather material for his stories, pulp fiction writer Yu Bai rented a room in the city's infamous Haunted Neighborhood. Before long, he realized that his next-door neighbor was decidedly odd.

So he knocked on the neighbor's door and politely asked, "Are you human?"

Xie Wufang's expression flickered behind the door as he racked his brain for the relevant advice from the Human Life Guide. At last, he nodded with feigned composure.

Satisfied with the answer, Yu Bai turned and walked away, utterly calm.

Perfect. Definitely not human.

A week later, Yu Bai—now at the end of his rope—knocked on the strange neighbor's door once more. He clung to his last shred of restraint as he said, "Can you move out?"

Xie Wufang had the guide memorized backward and forward by now. He smiled with precisely the right amount of friendliness. "Sorry, has something been bothering you?"

Yu Bai's smile was all teeth and no warmth. "The guy next door beats drums with bones every single day. And the kid downstairs climbs out of the plumbing at night to make me help her with her homework."

Xie Wufang betrayed no surprise, offering his advice with warm enthusiasm. "Sounds like a public nuisance to me. You should call the cops."

Yu Bai finally snapped. He lunged forward and seized the mysterious neighbor by the collar, biting out each word: "Stop. Pretending."

"Either fix everything around here and make it normal again."

"Or get the hell out."

What Yu Bai didn't know was that his mysterious neighbor had been diligently reining in his power all along. Ordinary humans were simply too fragile—even the tiniest leak of divine energy could twist reality into absurd mutations.

And right then, Xie Wufang—experiencing his first real contact with a human—found himself momentarily distracted by the fearless threat inches from his face.

Human skin was this warm.

In that instant of distraction, an even greater mishap occurred.

Fearless, world-weary shut-in bottom × Persistent god top who strives every day to pass as human, only to veer hilariously off course

A non-standard infinite-flow tale: lighthearted, absurd summer adventures.

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