Chapter 58: Mom! I Want an LV Coffin! Part 2

The executive assistant sat down across from Zhou Xiaohai and handed her a tablet. “President Zhou, do we continue investigating Master Chen?”

“No need,” Zhou Xiaohai said. “Be more polite to Master Chen from now on. Book a ritual with the masters at Long Mountain Temple.”

Zhou Xiaohai paused. “…And order an LV coffin. Use blue roses for the funeral.”

Zhou Yunfan: 【Mom—you’re the best!】

Zhou Yunfan started chattering on about the rumors he had overheard from Chen Ji and the Taoist priest. Ghost Messengers would come to pick him up, going below was just like going abroad, the paper money burned up top had to be made of tin foil so it could be used down there…

Zhou Xiaohai rubbed her brow. This sensation of her child being dead but somehow not really dead gave her a headache. What was it that priest had said? Whatever. She’d just burn more paper money for Zhou Yunfan. If he could reach out to her in dreams, that was good enough… She could treat it like he had gone abroad.

Chen Ji watched the helicopter fly away before heading to the main hall. He opened the safe to check how much money was inside. Sure enough, there was exactly one million, plus five stacks from the Merit Box, making a grand total of 1.05 million.

The System Cat had completely stopped crying. It was utterly dazzled by all that money: [Whoa, does being a master make money this easily?! Then we can help more people call the cops in the future! The cost-performance ratio is off the charts!]

Chen Ji didn’t know quite what to say to that. It made it sound like there was a line of people every day waiting to meet their end in Little Azure Mountain.

The System Cat’s eyes sparkled as it rolled over and exposed its soft little belly to Chen Ji: [Chen Ji~ I want seafood! Let’s go to the beach and eat seafood—!]

[Seafood means heading to the neighboring province,] Chen Ji said. [Forget it. Air freight it is if we have to.]

SF Express had recently rolled out a new service: drone delivery straight to your door. It was a bit pricey, but if he negotiated with sellers from the next province over, he could get fresh fish shipped at noon and eat it that evening. Way more convenient than trekking there and back himself.

[Deal! Tomorrow it is! I’ll place the order right now!] The System Cat dashed off to its room without a backward glance, clearly afraid Chen Ji might change his mind. It was probably off scouring the internet for reliable sellers.

White Tiger happened to pass by the doorway. Chen Ji called out to him, “Xiangxiang!”

White Tiger paused mid-step and turned his head, a clear look of resignation in his eyes.

Chen Ji beckoned to him. “Come here.”

White Tiger had no choice but to go inside. He stopped at the edge of Chen Ji’s bed. Chen Ji grinned and pulled him into a hug, rubbing the fur around his collar. “Xiangxiang worked hard today. You even protected me. How about I buy you a huge fish packed with meat tomorrow?”

Chen Ji pressed his face right into White Tiger’s neck. White Tiger shifted awkwardly, trying to pull away—but he couldn’t escape.

He was starting to get used to it. White Tiger settled down properly on the spot, making it easier for Chen Ji to hold him. He nodded to show it was fine.

Chen Ji only liked him more. He wanted to smother this obedient, massive kitty right there on the bed. He glanced at his phone. “Dinner? After we eat, come with me for a stroll in the mountains?”

White Tiger nodded helplessly.

Suddenly, Chen Ji cupped White Tiger’s enormous head in his hands. White Tiger was already used to it. He lifted his chin slightly, waiting for the chin scratches. Without a second thought, Chen Ji leaned down and planted a heavy kiss right on the tip of White Tiger’s nose.

White Tiger’s first instinct was to jerk backward. Panic filled his eyes as he stared at Chen Ji. Chen Ji acted like nothing had happened and kept scratching along both sides of his chin. “It’s a deal then. Come on, let’s go eat.”

With that, Chen Ji let go and headed to the kitchen.

White Tiger stayed frozen in place. He sat there for a long time, his tail thumping rhythmically against Chen Ji’s bed. When he finally snapped out of it, he realized his tail had made a total mess of the sheets and blankets.

He glanced guiltily toward the door. Chen Ji was busy in the kitchen. White Tiger used his tail to shut the door. A faint, almost imperceptible glow appeared, and a slender young man materialized in the room. A light blush colored his originally pale face. He rubbed at his cheeks, then quickly straightened out the sheets and blankets.

White Tiger opened the door and awkwardly shuffled out to the courtyard to lie in the sun.

After dinner, Chen Ji took White Tiger outside. Second Master Huang generally slept during the day, and Chen Ji wouldn’t wake him unless it was urgent. Anyone suddenly roused from a sound sleep—even a life-and-death brother—would want to throw a punch and curse out their whole family.

Of course, curses aside, he’d still greet them politely in person: “Hello, Uncle, hello Auntie.”

The sun had Chen Ji feeling drowsy, but he had already promised to go out, and all his things were packed. He pepped himself up and headed off.

He asked White Tiger, “I want to find some minerals—those pretty stones with really nice colors. Mimi, do you know where any are?”

White Tiger thought for a moment and nodded. But instead of walking, he crouched down low.

Chen Ji stroked the thick fur on his back. “You want me to ride?”

White Tiger let out a small sound. Chen Ji laughed. “Pretty far, huh? Alright, I’m really getting on then?”

White Tiger glanced back at him. Then his thick, ring-patterned tiger tail coiled around Chen Ji’s waist and gently lifted him onto his back. Chen Ji grabbed hold of his fur and shifted into a comfortable straddle. Once he felt steady, he said, “Okay. Go slow… Man, your fur’s too slippery.”

He shouldn’t have used that shine-enhancing shampoo when bathing White Tiger. It felt like pure silk now—like riding a slip-n-slide.

White Tiger looked back and made another sound, as if to say it wouldn’t happen.

With a mischievous grin, Chen Ji gripped his fur tighter. “If you’re always going to carry me like this from now on, maybe I should get you a collar sometime? The kind with reins.”

His fingers trailed from White Tiger’s powerfully muscled neck down to his soft belly. “Loop it up from here, yeah?”

White Tiger didn’t make a sound. He simply stood up abruptly. Caught off guard, Chen Ji tumbled forward onto White Tiger’s back. The tail around his waist hadn’t let go. It pinned him down firmly, and he couldn’t even straighten up.

“Xiangxiang!” Chen Ji patted the tail at his waist. “Too tight! I can’t breathe!”

The tail loosened—just a little. Enough for Chen Ji to catch his breath on White Tiger’s back, but that was it. Chen Ji’s cheek pressed into the fur. The wind around them seemed cut off in that moment. The scenery rushed by in a blur, but the breeze remained soft, gently caressing his body.

Sun-warmed, his back felt toasty. Chen Ji took a deep breath of Xiangxiang’s scent and rubbed his face against the fur with relish. Before he knew it, he had drifted off to sleep.

White Tiger sensed the young man on his back had fallen asleep. The spot was just about right, so he slowed down and eventually came to a stop in a shallow stream bed about a hundred meters from their destination. He picked a flat boulder with no tree shade nearby and lay down on it, bringing Chen Ji along.

His tail uncoiled. The muscles along his back gave a gentle twitch, and Chen Ji slid smoothly down the fur, right into the enclosure formed by White Tiger’s body.

If Chen Ji had been awake, he would’ve loudly proclaimed it: a genuine tiger-skin sofa!

Chen Ji slept soundly. White Tiger’s tail tapped lightly and leisurely against the boulder, like playful idling. He watched Chen Ji for a bit, then turned his head to groom his own fur.

His tongue, rough with barbs, left tracks like comb teeth through the fur. He wasn’t in any hurry. Chen Ji took good care of him, so there wasn’t much dust. This was just habit.

Chen Ji slept for about an hour and a half before waking. He opened his eyes to a world of fluffy white fur and assumed he was still at home. He rolled over lazily. His palm pressed into something that twitched. Only then did he lift his head groggily and see White Tiger looking at him, head already raised.

Chen Ji flopped back down, closed his eyes, and mumbled, “Mimi, let me sleep a little longer, okay… good boy…”

White Tiger patted him helplessly with his tail. But Chen Ji grabbed the tail, yanked it close, and used it as a pillow. White Tiger stiffened. He tried to pull it free, but Chen Ji only hugged tighter. “Mimi, don’t move…”

He even leaned down and planted a kiss on the tail.

White Tiger: “…”

The entire tiger felt like it might shatter.

He knew Chen Ji just saw him as White Tiger—or really, as an oversized cat. But that didn’t stop the behavior from feeling like sexual harassment to him.

He couldn’t say anything, though.

What would he even say?

—Don’t pull my tail, don’t touch my tail, and definitely don’t kiss my tail because it’s sensitive?

It sounded so weird!

It wasn’t until ten minutes later, when Chen Ji was truly awake, that the grip loosened. White Tiger whipped his tail back in a flash and tucked it tightly under his hind legs, refusing any more contact. Chen Ji pushed himself up, yawning as he went. He casually patted White Tiger’s rump. “Mimi, you’re so stingy. Won’t even let me touch your tail?”

White Tiger pretended not to hear.

Chen Ji really did love the feel of that tail. Unlike other long-haired animals, where the bulk was all fluff, White Tiger’s was solid all the way through—thick, long, with real meaty heft. It was flexible too, and holding it gave him this subtle thrill of taming a wild beast.

He rubbed his fingers together, then pulled a pack of smokes from his pocket. He bit down on one and looked up to find White Tiger staring at him. Chen Ji raised a brow. “Want one?”

White Tiger turned his head away, clearly not interested.

Chen Ji nudged the filter with his tongue, about to light up—when White Tiger’s tail lashed out. It snatched the cigarette and flung it far away.

Chen Ji: “…? You don’t like me smoking?”

White Tiger’s head scooted closer, nestling right into Chen Ji’s lap for once. Chen Ji’s hand settled on his head, rubbing affectionately. He grinned with half-lidded eyes. “Afraid the smoke will cover up my scent?”

A low rumble sounded from deep in White Tiger’s throat.