Chapter 64: Core Competitiveness Part 2

With her hands stuffed in her pockets, she looked exactly like someone who’d wandered downstairs to grab a delivery package. A sparkly phone strap dangled from the pocket of her loungewear, swaying with her movements. Her eyes locked straight onto the System Cat. “Your cat is so cute! How do you keep it looking this good? Can I pet it?”

The System Cat had only woken up when Chen Ji jumped to his feet, and its brain was still foggy. Hearing the pretty sister compliment it, it let out a sweet, coquettish “Mrrrow~” and stretched out its front paws, as if begging for cuddles.

If she had wanted to pick up Second Master Huang, Chen Ji might have urged him to make a run for it. But since it was the System Cat she wanted, Chen Ji felt completely at ease. He set Second Master Huang down on a chair and offered up the System Cat. “Be careful—it’s a bit heavy.”

The System Cat was thrilled to lean against the pretty sister, rubbing its head hard against her cheek. This sent the blue-clothed woman into a fit of giggles as she stroked its back soothingly. “What a good kitty! It doesn’t seem scared of me at all. Ever since I became a ghost, it’s been ages since I’ve petted a cat!”

System Cat: 【…Huh?】

The corner of Chen Ji’s eye twitched almost imperceptibly. “It’s got a big heart.”

Chen Ji: 【Like you don’t know.】

The blue-clothed woman planted a big kiss on the System Cat’s face, taking a deep sniff, then plopped right down onto the recliner Chen Ji had just vacated. She turned to him. “Sorry for dropping by unannounced like this. But first time’s the charm, second time’s a habit. I spotted you on the road just now and thought, ‘Hey, isn’t that my family’s scent?’ So I hurried over!”

Her words were a bit odd. Chen Ji glanced at Second Master Huang, who looked puzzled too. 【Ghost Immortal Sister, what you’re saying… His ancestors were all shrine priests around here. There shouldn’t be any ancestor like you…】

“Look at me, putting it that way!” The blue-clothed woman waved it off. “No, a couple days ago, Black Impermanence sent me a text saying my descendant’s bones were with you and I should come pick them up. I was wondering which kin that could be… That kid was clueless—went missing and no one knew where he died. His parents reincarnated ages ago. As his old auntie, I figured I’d come check it out.”

Chen Ji let out a breath of relief. So that’s what this was about. “Got it. Yeah, they’re here with me.”

“A few days back, I was foraging for wild goods in the mountains and stumbled into a cave. There was a skeleton lying inside, so I helped gather it up. Luckily, Black and White Impermanence happened to pass by on a job, so I asked them to help track down the family.” Chen Ji explained, “It’s in the side hall. Want me to take you to see?”

“No need for all that ‘you’ formality. Just call me sis.”

The blue-clothed woman clutched the System Cat like she had no intention of letting go. She cooed down at it, “Mimi, good kitty,” before continuing. “What’s the point of looking at a pile of bones? Where’s that cave? I’ll go avenge him.”

Chen Ji paused, then said awkwardly, “The owner of that cave seems to be dead already.”

Second Master Huang knew about this. 【Isn’t it the one on top of the Southwest Cliff? That Wind Cave passes over Mountain Peak—it’s their home. Yeah, it’s dead. Chen Ji, you didn’t know? It was the snake you blew up into salt-and-pepper crispy bones not long ago.】

Chen Ji whipped his head toward Second Master Huang. “…”

He really hadn’t known!

So it was that snake’s lair?!

—Pah! If he’d known, he’d have taken all the treasure! Serves it right!

His dear Xiangxiang staying silent had really held things up!

The blue-clothed woman burst out laughing at “salt-and-pepper crispy bones.” “Oh, I see. Well, that settles it then.”

The bones had been salt-and-peppered—clearly the soul hadn’t survived either, or it would’ve come for revenge by now. With the enemy scattered to the winds, what vengeance was there left to take?

Chen Ji ducked his head sheepishly. “Should I bring the bone urn out for you?”

He hesitated a moment, then added, “Or sis, if it’s not convenient, you could leave it here with me. I’m the shrine priest here—nothing fancy, but keeping offerings is no trouble.”

The blue-clothed woman grinned. “Perfect! That’s settled then. I was stumped on what to do with the bones anyway. No descendants left—his parents’ grave got moved to the public cemetery ages ago since no one kept paying the fees. Stick it here with you; no need for offerings since the soul’s gone. Just dust it off on the festivals and holidays!”

Chen Ji nodded. “Sure, that’s easy enough.”

The blue-clothed woman planted another kiss on the System Cat’s head, rubbing its soft belly. She smiled so wide her eyes crinkled, like the System Cat mattered way more to her than that descendant of hers. To Chen Ji, it felt like she was just giving Black and White Impermanence a nod, and since she’d run into him conveniently, she’d swung by to sort it out.

“Sis, why don’t you stay for dinner?” Chen Ji suggested. “We’re having hot pot tonight.”

“No…” The blue-clothed woman started to decline, but perked up at “hot pot.” “Sure! Sorry for the trouble. Need a hand?”

Her eyes lit up.

Chen Ji laughed. “Nah, it’s all ready to go—just needs rinsing.”

She nodded eagerly. Glancing sideways at Second Master Huang—who looked like he’d eaten here plenty—she felt a twinge of envy. Tsk tsk, should she set up her own shrine and find a savvy young guy to take care of her?

These days, Heavenly Eyes were everywhere. She could manifest a physical body, but without an ID, she couldn’t use Alipay or WeChat. No descendants to burn paper money for her either. Her only option was picking up odd jobs in the Underworld for subsidies, then exchanging them for mortal-world cash… That exchange rate—ouch!

Mortal money was easy to snag directly, but it meant using tricks. Once, she’d lifted some cash for barbecue skewers. They’d just hit the table when the cops showed up—said the amount was enough for a case and dragged her to the station… After that, she only dared grab pocket change. But prices in the mortal world were skyrocketing—who didn’t drop three or five hundred on a decent meal?! It just wasn’t enough!

As a ghost long past her wild-killing days, content with a leisurely retirement, she played by the rules. She didn’t want her face plastered on wanted posters in the mortal realm!

Chen Ji mentally inventoried the fridge. The seafood he’d bought last time had gone partly into the freezer since Xiangxiang wasn’t around. Perfect to thaw for their guest today…

“Huh?” The blue-clothed woman suddenly glanced to the side, her tone playful. “Kid, is that yours?”

Chen Ji followed her gaze and saw Xiangxiang standing warily in the doorway, eyeing the blue-clothed woman. He smiled and called out, “Grandpa White Tiger! We’ve got a sister staying for dinner today!”

At those words, the blue-clothed woman shot Chen Ji a cryptic look—then watched as White Tiger padded over obediently.

Chen Ji reached out and stroked White Tiger’s ears. “Sis, this one’s not exactly mine. It’s my protector—you know how there are a lot of mountain youkai around here. I’ve nearly gotten eaten a bunch of times, and it’s always Grandpa White Tiger who’s saved me.”

He added, “Grandpa White Tiger has a bad temper—no petting.”

The blue-clothed woman eyed Chen Ji’s hand and nodded. “Ohhh… Got it.”

Too bad—she’d hoped to sneak a feel of those ears! What a shame. The kid seemed so innocent, but he was sharp.

Chen Ji gave White Tiger’s neck another rub. “Sis, make yourself at home. I’ll pour you some tea. Should be about time to eat once that’s done.”

“Sounds good—won’t stand on ceremony!” Hearing this, the blue-clothed woman settled back in happily, playing with the System Cat.

Chen Ji didn’t ask if she liked spicy food. He planned a Yin-Yang pot: beef tallow on one side, pork belly and chicken on the other. Something for everyone. He bent down to White Tiger. “Grandpa White Tiger, help me thaw stuff.”

White Tiger shot the blue-clothed woman a wary glance, then followed Chen Ji. Chen Ji gave the blue-clothed sister an apologetic smile before hurrying to the kitchen. He brought out a fruit platter, snacks, milk tea, and cola—let her pick what she liked.

Chen Ji pulled the frozen shrimp and squid from the freezer and said to White Tiger, “Guai Guai, check this out. Thaw it… You know, thaw means melt the ice without cooking the shrimp.”

White Tiger nodded. A faint blue-green glow shimmered, and the shrimp and squid thawed perfectly.

Chen Ji happily grabbed them to rinse.

From outside, the blue-clothed woman snorted with laughter. Guai Guai?

—Jackpot!

She’d hit the motherlode today!

She’d dared enter the shrine because she feared no temple god. They were equals—who outranked whom? She was just here for business. What could a weakened mountain god do?

But the one on the altar statue stayed put, while the other came out—weak as could be and still trying to intimidate her… Hahaha, “Guai Guai”! He called it “Guai Guai”!!!

Did that kid even know he was raising his enshrined god like a cat?!

“Xiangxiang, come quick—help me turn on the faucet!” Chen Ji’s voice drifted from the kitchen. The blue-clothed woman instinctively glanced over, assuming he meant the yellow weasel. Instead, she saw White Tiger rear up awkwardly and paw the faucet open with a big paw.

“Pfft-hahaha!” Clutching the System Cat, she collapsed back into the chair in hysterics. She was dying—she’d never seen anything so hilarious!

This trip had been worth every penny!

Once she’d laughed her fill, she buried her face in the System Cat again, ruffling its fur. “Mimi, you think your owner knows he’s raising the Mountain Lord like a cat? …Though it does kinda look the part!”

“Mimi, can you turn on faucets? You gotta learn! Look at the Mountain Lord—does faucets, does thawing. Can you? Give it time, and you’ll slip in your owner’s heart…”

The System Cat licked Blue-Clothed’s fingers, thinking aloofly to itself: Everything that thing knows, I know too. But everything I know, it definitely doesn’t—So what if it’s a tiger? Can a tiger hunt down those rock-bottom one-cent-per-tray egg deals for Chen Ji? Can it serve as his all-in-one smart home kitty assistant? It can’t even price-shop across the web. What does it have to compete with me?

The System Cat suddenly jerked its head up. Wait, hold on—what the heck? Raising the Mountain Lord as a cat? Huh?!

[Chen Ji—!]