Liu Datie was filled with deep regret over how he’d gotten blackout drunk yesterday, blabbering nonsense and agreeing to his fans’ requests. Without a clear head, he’d stumbled right up into the mountains. By the time his mind cleared, he had no idea where he was—and the fact that he hadn’t plummeted to his death was sheer luck!
He’d come here purely as a tourist and had no clue about the mountain paths.
But at least he’d found someone now! No need to spend the night up here!
Chen Ji couldn’t help but chuckle. He pointed south with a grin and shouted, “Head that way. Once you push through the woods, you’ll hit a path. Follow it straight down, and you’ll be off the mountain.”
Liu Datie nodded vigorously, then bellowed back, “How far is it? How long will it take?”
Chen Ji replied, “About two hours or so.”
Relief washed visibly over Liu Datie’s face. He immediately yelled, “Bro! Can’t you guide me down? Name your price!”
{LOL, I’m dying!!!}
{Datie gives up struggling.jpg}
The live chat was a sea of laughter, with plenty of viewers congratulating the streamer on finally being rescued.
Chen Ji eyed the drop. It was a good ten meters or so down a sheer slope—sliding would be little different from jumping off a cliff. The last guy who’d tried that had probably already lined up for reincarnation.
He hesitated for a moment. Xiangxiang was still underwater, with no telling when he’d surface. But sending this guy around the long way wasn’t feasible either.
To Liu Datie, that hesitation looked like reluctance to help. He quickly pleaded, “Bro, just do me this solid! Get me back to Wujiang Village, and I’ll cover your lost wages—no skimping. Worst case, drop me at a farmstay!”
Chen Ji was a bit surprised to hear “Wujiang Village.” He glanced at Liu Datie. The village was a scenic spot between Shangyang Village and Shangtang Town. Had this guy come from there? On foot? That was dozens of kilometers… Impressive.
Chen Ji himself would probably be collapsed on the ground by now if he’d tried trekking that far over mountain roads.
Seeing Chen Ji go quiet, Liu Datie clasped his hands together in supplication. “Bro, seriously. We can haggle the price! I’m starving to death here!”
Liu Datie truly regretted his choices. Sure, he’d been drunk, but before heading in, he’d figured tourism was advanced these days. Worst case, he’d stick to the highway and run into someone. So he’d plunged straight into the mountains. How was he to know they’d be so vast and desolate? After half a day, there wasn’t a highway in sight, and even the signal flickered in and out.
By the two-hour mark, fear had started creeping in. He’d planned to turn back, but couldn’t find the way home. He’d followed the GPS straight toward the highway, yet all he got were more mountains—no sign of a road.
Hoping daylight would help, he’d hunkered down to keep streaming rather than risk a fatal stumble in the dark. Thank goodness for his power bank; with fans cracking jokes alongside him, the fear stayed at bay. Come dawn, he’d followed GPS again while live-streaming—and still, nothing but empty wilderness.
If not for keeping up appearances for his fans, he’d have called Forest Rescue ages ago!
Now that he’d finally found a person, there was no way he’d let this slip.
Chen Ji called out, “Sure thing—I’m a ways up. Stay put, and I’ll come get you!”
Liu Datie hurriedly agreed several times, terrified Chen Ji might change his mind. Chen Ji sighed. He knew these mountains well. Though they were only ten meters apart vertically, the actual path would take at least half an hour round trip—not least because he needed to fetch something for Mountain Lord as a peace offering.
A life was a life, after all.
Chen Ji had seen how fierce the fish in this pond could be and wouldn’t dare reach in himself. He grabbed a stick, stirred the water, and shouted, “Xiangxiang! Xiangxiang! Got a lost guy up top. I’m taking him down the mountain first!”
A few bubbles rose from the depths. Chen Ji couldn’t tell if it was Xiangxiang surfacing, but since the little guy didn’t need his help anyway, there was no point dwelling on it. He headed up to fetch the man.
About half an hour later, Liu Datie spotted Chen Ji approaching from afar. He let out a long breath and shouted into his phone, “Family! Our rescuer’s here!”
“Humanity shines through the mortal coil—fear not the abyss! Family, spam those 666s!”
{666! Half an hour—I thought he’d bailed!}
{Me too!}
{Datie, bow to him a couple times!}
{Datie, heads up—don’t flash cash or he might off you, and no crying to daddy will help!}
Liu Datie brushed it off and even rolled up his sleeve to flex his biceps at the camera. “This is Da Tie, a real man! You think I’m that easy to take down?! Who’s calling whose daddy ain’t set yet!”
Chen Ji: “…”
As Chen Ji drew near, Liu Datie switched to a fawning grin. “Bro! Sorry about that—live stream antics, my mouth runs. Don’t mind me. I’ll tip extra!”
The honest plea went straight into the stream, sending viewers into hysterics.
He then swung the camera toward Chen Ji, voice booming with fervor. “Da Tie keeps his word—one spit, one nail! Soon as this bro gets me down, I’ll pay him twenty thousand! Family, hold me to it!”
Chen Ji couldn’t help a faint smile. This young guy wasn’t entirely brainless after all—his stream had a big audience, and now everyone had seen Chen Ji’s face. Any real bandit would’ve thought twice by this point.
After all, guiding someone down earned twenty grand clean. Rob and kill him? The cash on the body might not even total that—and these days, a bank transfer traced straight back by the cops.
{Damn, this guy’s hot!}
{Hot guy alert!}
{Film more, loving it!}
Noticing the chat, Liu Datie flipped the phone back and cautiously assured Chen Ji, “Bro, I’ve got tens of thousands of fans—ten thousand in here right now. Get me down safe, and twenty grand’s yours, wired on the spot, no BS!”
Chen Ji nodded. “No problem. It’s a simple matter—two hundred is more than enough.”
“No no no, you deserve it.” Liu Datie pulled a tragic face. “I’ve been hiking eight hours. This is a lifesaver for me!”
“Eight hours? You’re in great shape.” Chen Ji knew it had been a while, but eight hours? To survive that long in these mountains without getting eaten by demons or otherwise done in was absurd luck.
He should buy a lottery ticket once they hit town.
“I’m a country boy too.” Liu Datie clasped his hands again. “Bro, got any food? I’m fading fast—my stomach’s on fire.”
Water had been manageable; he’d guzzled from a stream without caring if it was clean. He’d even thought to fill a plastic bottle, but the place was so remote, not a scrap of trash in sight!
Chen Ji set down his basket in front of him. “My eyes aren’t great—help yourself. There’s mineral water and self-heating hot pot in there…”
Liu Datie bent to rummage. “Huh? Self-heating hot pot?”
Sure enough, there they were in the bamboo basket: one tomato brisket and one spicy crispy pork bites. Liu Datie swallowed hard, and the chat exploded.
{I knew it—scripted! Who packs hot pot for mountains?!}
{Forty bucks a pop—I can’t even justify eating those!}
{This guy’s too handsome to be normal. Rubbing fame to start his own channel?}
{What villager wears that? A year’s harvest wouldn’t cover it!}
Liu Datie shot a guilty glance at Chen Ji, worried about the chat. The guy was just being kind; these suspicions would surely irk him. Plus, he’d filmed him without asking.
Then Liu Datie froze. Chen Ji’s expression hadn’t shifted—he stood there mildly smiling, oblivious, waiting patiently. It hit Liu Datie what he’d just said…
He gulped. “…Bro, what’d you say? Your eyes aren’t good?”
No way—he’d gotten lost and ended up with a blind guide?! Reliable?!
Chen Ji nodded. “Yeah, vision’s dropped lately. Don’t worry—the path’s clear enough.”
Liu Datie exhaled in relief. “Phew, good, good…”
Chen Ji gestured aside. “There’s a flat clearing over there. Eat up—water too. Can you carry the basket?”
He took the lead, and Liu Datie shouldered the load, striding after him. Knowing food awaited, his aches vanished—he practically flew.
This was when it showed: Chen Ji was a true mountain man. Few could match his pace. Even Liu Datie, wild-reared his whole life, struggled to keep up.
Ten minutes later, they reached the clearing. The crystal-clear stream made Liu Datie feel reborn.
The chat buzzed.
{Stream so close? What were those two hours of thirst for, Datie?!}
{Hard spot to find, right? Starting to think no script.}
{+1. You’d need to know it cold.}
{Scenery slays though… Prime camping spot!}
With water handy, the self-heating hot pot was a breeze. Liu Datie had it ready in no time. Chen Ji told him to rest on the flat, then headed to the stream, plucked a handful of wild chives, rinsed them, and handed them over. Liu Datie waved them at the camera. “Family, this bro’s too nice! Bonus dish!”
He snapped the chives into bits and tossed them in the pot to stew. Chen Ji listened to his stream nearby and noted the guy’s boundless energy: demoing scenery, cracking jokes. Once the hot pot was done, he raved about how great it was, urging Haidilao’s PR to send some freebies.
The live chat was filled with cheers and laughter, though plenty of viewers questioned whether it was all scripted. Liu Datie mulled it over—he couldn’t let Chen Ji take the blame. It would be a grave sin if a regular guy like him got torn apart online because of this. So he asked, “Bro, you local? Here to forage for wild mountain goods up top?”
“Yeah, local,” Chen Ji nodded. “I live on the mountain.”
Liu Datie stared skeptically at Chen Ji’s slender arms and legs. With limbs that skinny, he actually lives up there?! He continued, “Huh? You really live up there? Mind pointing it out for me? I’ll swing by next time to hang out.”
Chen Ji raised his hand and pointed toward the mountaintop. “Right there… See those blue-gray tiles?”
Liu Datie followed his gesture, cranking the phone camera to maximum zoom. Sure enough, he spotted a glimpse of blue-gray roofing. “I see it, I see it! That’s pretty far up. Doesn’t it suck having to trek up and down the mountain every day?”
Chen Ji smiled as he replied, “I don’t go up and down every day. It just happened to work out today.”
Without thinking, Liu Datie asked, “So how do you handle meals then?”
“…?” Chen Ji said, “Our village has express delivery.”
