To be fair, after Helan Ji’s severe illness, he still looked sickly and pallid, of course not as handsome as before.
Even Qixue had never seen him at his most radiant, because cultivating witchcraft had left Helan Ji’s body in poor condition, always carrying a sickly pallor. Even so, he was an exceedingly rare beauty, deeply captivating Qixue’s heart.
The current Helan Ji resembled a withered snow pine, with snow-white long hair, a gaunt face, and a body so emaciated that his bones protruded. Even through his undergarments, one could feel his ribs—it truly no longer deserved the words “handsome” or “beautiful.”
But the more he refused to let Rabbit Tuan look, the more Rabbit Tuan insisted on looking. He genuinely didn’t find Helan Ji ugly anywhere: “What is Your Majesty saying? You’re still as handsome as ever. How could you scare me? I just want to look at you.”
Helan Ji stroked his rabbit fur and patiently coaxed him: “Yuan Yuan, be good. Don’t look at me. Shall we sleep instead?”
“No, I’m not sleepy!”
Rabbit Tuan discovered that no matter how he twisted and turned, he couldn’t escape Helan Ji’s palm. He simply raised his voice and shouted, “Eunuch Xue, it’s too dark in the room! Come light the lamps quickly!”
“Yes, Your Ladyship. This old servant will light them right away.”
Eunuch Xue, who had been guarding the door, entered with a fire starter. As he approached the lamp stand, Helan Ji scolded coldly: “Xue Ming, do not light the lamps.”
Eunuch Xue played dumb, pretending he hadn’t heard Helan Ji clearly, and swiftly lit the flame. Only then did he turn back and say: “What was that, Your Majesty? Just now, this old servant was worried Your Ladyship feared the dark, so he hurried to light the candle. Did Your Majesty give any other instructions?”
“You…” Helan Ji paused, neither punishing him nor ordering the lights extinguished. “You may go.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. This old servant takes his leave.”
Eunuch Xue bowed his head with a smile and withdrew.
When His Majesty and Her Ladyship were together, Her Ladyship held the greater authority. Everything had to prioritize her wishes first—otherwise, if they attended to His Majesty instead, he would punish them afterward.
The bedchamber brightened up, allowing Rabbit Tuan to clearly see Helan Ji’s face, but Helan Ji raised his hand to cover his eyes.
Rabbit Tuan extended his two rabbit paws and pressed down Helan Ji’s hand, feigning grievance: “Why is Your Majesty deliberately blocking me? I understand now—it’s not that you’re worried I’ll despise you, but that you despise me. You think I’m an ugly rabbit, so you don’t even want to look at me…”
“Yuan Yuan, don’t say that. You’re exquisitely charming in a thousand ways and adorably lovely in ten thousand more. I could never look at you enough—how could I ever despise you?”
With him saying such things, Helan Ji naturally wouldn’t block him anymore. He had no choice but to lower his hand and meet his gaze.
Helan Ji’s usually aloof face rarely showed a trace of embarrassment and unease. He nearly raised his hand to cover his face again, but because of Rabbit Tuan’s words, he was forced to keep it down.
He truly didn’t want Rabbit Tuan looking at him, so he asked: “Does Yuan Yuan have to look at me? Can’t you not look?”
“I have to look. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Your Majesty. I missed you so much. I just want to look at you…”
Rabbit Tuan shifted back to human form and burrowed dependently into Helan Ji’s embrace, tilting his head up to gaze at his face.
“Your Majesty is clearly still so handsome. Your eyes are still so beautiful, your nose bridge so high, your lips so thin—they kiss me so comfortably. Kiss me, Your Majesty, Brother A’Man…”
Qixue pursed his petal-like red lips, seeking a kiss from Helan Ji. But Helan Ji couldn’t bring himself to be intimate with him. He felt his current appearance was too unsightly—like he would be bullying Yuan Yuan by getting close like this.
He pressed against Qixue’s lips and said in a low voice: “Yuan Yuan, no need to coax me. I understand your feelings. If you don’t mind me, give me some time. Once I’ve recovered my health, I’ll be intimate with you again.”
He just didn’t know if his appearance could ever return to its former state.
Helan Ji had never particularly cared about his own looks before. He could discern beauty from ugliness and knew he was considered a handsome man by the world’s standards, but as the Son of Heaven, beauty or ugliness held no meaning for him. Even if he were utterly hideous, it wouldn’t shake his throne.
But after marrying Qixue, Helan Ji’s mindset had changed greatly.
Even as the Son of Heaven, he wanted to please his wife with his appearance. He hoped to be a handsome husband in Yuan Yuan’s eyes—not asking for much, just better than Wei Huai, at least.
Thereafter, during his baths, Helan Ji would command the nightmare demon to tend to his skincare.
He never told Qixue about these things. Every time Qixue praised his handsomeness, he felt a faint joy.
After consuming Xie Shu’s elixir today, Helan Ji had regained some strength, so he summoned Eunuch Xue to fetch a mirror, allowing him to inspect his own appearance.
He knew his sick self wouldn’t look good, but he hadn’t anticipated being this ugly. Even he himself didn’t want to look longer. If Yuan Yuan had to face this face all day, he would surely feel uncomfortable. Helan Ji didn’t want Yuan Yuan to grow tired of him.
Helan Ji gently released Qixue, preparing to have the inner servants bring another bed and place it not far from him, so Qixue could sleep there.
He was reluctant to part from Yuan Yuan, but sharing a bed meant Yuan Yuan might wake at night, see his face, get frightened, or stay awake out of heartache—none of which he wanted.
The inner servants quickly brought another bed. Qixue looked at it in confusion, wondering if it was for Eunuch Xue, when he heard Helan Ji say: “Yuan Yuan, go sleep there. I’m the patient—don’t sleep with me.”
Qixue immediately whipped his head around to stare at him: “Is Your Majesty still afraid I’ll despise you, so you’re chasing me to another bed?”
“It’s not ‘chasing.'” Helan Ji corrected. “Just temporary. Once I’m recovered, we’ll sleep together again.”
“I won’t be separated from Your Majesty for even a day.”
Qixue slipped under Helan Ji’s covers, hugging his waist, wrapping his legs around him too. His body was soft and boneless, like dodder vine clinging to a great tree.
He didn’t have much time left. Once His Majesty recovered, it would be time for their parting. He had to spend as much time with him as possible now, relying on these warm memories later to stave off the loneliness.
He spoke to Helan Ji in gentle, soft tones: “I’m not deliberately saying sweet words to deceive Your Majesty. I love Your Majesty. In my eyes, you’re always handsome, no matter what. Your Majesty, think about it—if my appearance were ruined, would Your Majesty find me ugly?”
“I wouldn’t.”
Helan Ji was convinced by Qixue. He held him in his arms, his heart filled with sweetness and warmth: “I love Yuan Yuan the same way. No matter your appearance, you’re the most beautiful in my heart.”
“Me too. So Your Majesty should trust me more. How could I despise you for your looks?”
Qixue kissed Helan Ji’s pale cheek, then his lips. This time, Helan Ji didn’t dodge the kiss. Instead, he pinched Qixue’s chin, deepening it.
Bedtime arrived, but neither felt sleepy. They embraced and talked. Qixue recounted his experiences in the ancient mirror. Hearing that he’d been well cared for, Helan Ji’s face showed relief—he’d worried most about Qixue suffering.
He gently stroked Qixue’s abdomen: “Did the child cause you any trouble?”
Qixue’s heart trembled. He still didn’t know how to explain to Helan Ji. He wasn’t as heartbroken now, but if His Majesty learned there was no child, it would devastate him. Better not to say.
“No, he’s been very good.”
Qixue buried his face in Helan Ji’s neck, hiding his expression. His eyes stung a little.
After learning of the false pregnancy—perhaps due to low spirits—his milk production had dwindled, the discomfort fading. Pregnancy symptoms were vanishing, so he clearly hadn’t conceived Xie Shu’s child either.
Xie Shu had lifted Holy Monarch’s restriction. Before returning to Dali Mountain, could he actually conceive His Majesty’s child?
But with Helan Ji’s current condition, they weren’t suitable for intimacy yet. They’d have to wait.
Under Qixue’s companionship, Helan Ji recovered swiftly. In three or four days, he could get out of bed.
Helan Ji issued a decree announcing the Noble Consort’s return to the palace and resumed handling state affairs.
The palace brimmed with joyful atmosphere. Besides accompanying Helan Ji, Qixue often spent time with Xu Taifei and Luxiangqiu. Luxiangqiu, overly worried, had slimmed back to her former figure. Seeing Qixue, she wailed and clung to him, refusing to leave—nearly bathing and sleeping with him.
Qixue ached for the thinned Luxiangqiu, coaxing her at length and personally shelling her a big bag of melon seeds before cheering her up and earning forgiveness.
One day, while Helan Ji napped, Qixue sneaked out holding Luxiangqiu and consulted her: “Once His Majesty is mostly recovered, I’ll return to Dali Mountain. Do you want to come with me?”
“Of course I’ll go back with you! I came down the mountain to accompany you. You go, I go. My clansfolk even sent word urging me back these past few days.”
Luxiangqiu crisply agreed, then asked puzzled: “But are you returning so soon? Have you repaid His Majesty’s kindness already?”
“I suppose so…”
Qixue thought it over—first Ji Yuheng, then Xie Shu. They likely had no chance of love and wouldn’t harm His Majesty or Dali Mountain. “Yes, I’ve repaid it.”
“But your child…” Luxiangqiu worriedly glanced at his belly. “Are you planning to raise the child alone, without his father?”
Qixue touched his belly and sighed: “Actually, I’m not pregnant. It was just a false pregnancy… If I really get pregnant, I’ll raise him myself. You’ll help me, right?”
“False pregnancy?” Luxiangqiu was shocked. “Are you sure? How could it be false?”
“I wished it were real, but…”
Qixue explained the whole story, revealing Xuan Yang’s true identity to Luxiangqiu. By now, there was no need to hide.
After returning to Dali Mountain, he’d become the Holy Monarch’s divine spouse. Everyone would know he’d won the Cave Abyss God Spirit’s favor and affection—no more secrets.
Luxiangqiu listened in a daze, her instinctive reaction excitement: “Wow… You’re really marrying the Holy Monarch? Even He likes you—A’Xue, you’re amazing!”
