Chapter 32 Part 1

Although William had come to work in China after retiring, his Chinese wasn’t yet at a level for fluent communication. He replied in fluent English, “I can give it a try.”

The trunk of a coconut tree has ring-shaped leaf scars left behind after old fronds fall off. As the tree grows taller, its surface forms rows of horizontal ridges. Though not the coconut tree’s original intention, these ridges significantly reduce the difficulty of climbing for humans. William approached a tall coconut tree and, with a jump, clamped his powerful legs around the trunk. After a few attempts, he signaled an OK to the crowd.

Then, he began tearing at wild grass around him, searching for types that were rough enough or had relatively sticky sap. He untied his shoelaces and soaked them with the grass, smearing the substance on them. Finally, he tied the ends of the laces from his two shoes together. Once prepared, he smiled and explained to everyone, “The tightened shoelaces stuck against the tree can provide greater resistance, making it easier to climb…” He even demonstrated the specific motion to the group.

Weng Kai was always the king of support. Naturally, he was even more coordinating when facing William, the “hope of the entire village.” He clapped loudly and vigorously, managing to string together a few English words for enthusiastic interaction, “Smart! Good! My bro! Wow! So cool!”

The bullet comments, initially marveling at the special forces soldier’s superb actions, were tickled pink by Weng Kai’s English:

[Hahahaha, Brother Kai is literally me. Hello, what’s your name? Fank you, and you…]

[Thanks to Feifei for the simultaneous translation /bitter]

[I thought he was Chinese. But even so, this retired special forces soldier is so handsome! How much does it cost to hire a bodyguard like him? /drooling]

Weng Kai alone was enough to heat up the atmosphere. The others, originally frowning in concentration while learning, also clapped along.

Ji Nuo watched William’s deconstructed movements, clapping while whispering to Han Cheng, “It seems he’s actually trying to teach us.”

However, based on Ji Nuo’s childhood tree-climbing experience, such tall, straight trees heavily tested core strength and the synergistic cooperation of all muscle groups. When he was young, light in weight and nimble, he could attempt it. Now, never mind shoelaces, even if he tied hemp rope to his feet, the resistance wouldn’t be sufficient.

Han Cheng smiled faintly and gave a soft hum of agreement. Concerning this seemingly particularly friendly Chinese-American bodyguard, he inevitably had his doubts and could easily over-analyze the man’s every action as excessively negative. But before anything actually happened, his speculation wasn’t appropriate to voice out loud. He looked around, however, thinking about the hint Bai Yong had given earlier, that the director probably wouldn’t leave a solution that let only a special case like William solely dominate.

Hearing this, Ji Nuo nodded thoughtfully. Last time, when he and Ao’ao hadn’t fallen into the pit Bai Yong had expected, Bai Yong had been so angry he turned into a large pufferfish. This indeed didn’t match Bai Yong’s original intent in designing that segment.

The two conversed quietly as they looked around, their voices barely picked up by the mics clipped to their collars. The little one standing between them, still shorter than their legs, couldn’t hear a single word clearly.

Viewers in the live stream, listening to their whispers and watching Ao’ao’s little cheeks puff up bit by bit, found it especially amusing:

[This stinky couple whispering secrets without bringing our baby along, so mean! Ao’ao come to your aunty here (shakes open a sack)]

[That’s going too far! Why not include our Ao’ao in the conversation? Don’t you know our Ao’ao isn’t even one meter tall!]

[Ao’ao: The shorty is enraged! Jumps up to hit your knee!]

Just as William, with his superb climbing ability moving like a leopard, reached the upper-middle part of the coconut tree and was just about to touch the coconuts, six burly men with dark skin suddenly burst out of the jungle. Some sang songs with a distinctly primal flavor, some beat waist drums, and others rhythmically flexed the muscles of their bodies… These men wore “clothing” woven from grass and leaves around their necks and waists, amplifying their bodily rhythms to the extreme. These individuals practically had the word ‘native’ engraved on their foreheads. Making such a grand entrance, they instantly drew the attention of the crowd focused on William’s tree climbing.

One among them, the largest in muscle mass, the darkest in skin, and wearing a special grass-woven headband, stared wide-eyed and strode towards Tiantian.

Weng Kai instinctively moved to shield his daughter. Unexpectedly, the native, who a second ago looked ready to devour someone, suddenly produced a beautiful little white flower from his hand. The native half-knelt before the little girl and offered it, flashing a broad smile showing a mouthful of white teeth. In Mandarin even less standard than William’s, he said, “Beautiful girl, may I exchange this flower for the milk in your hand?”

The moment he started speaking Mandarin, the slower-reacting guests also realized this was arranged by the production team. But when they heard him mention the Bairun milk in Tiantian’s hand, they couldn’t help but twitch their lips. – Bai Yong, can you be any more pretentious?! This was the thought of most people present.

Although Bai Yong couldn’t hear it, he answered them with his actions—apparently, he was very much capable. His pretense knew no upper limit.

Hearing this, Weng Kai immediately understood; his daughter must have triggered some cheesy skit pre-set by Bai Yong. Looking at it this way, it made more sense. The Xu family’s bodyguard wasn’t the main guest the production team intended to promote. It was similar to other outdoor variety shows he’d been on; the golden finger Bai Yong, that dog of a man, gave the guests was just delivered in a very “Bai Yong” way.

Weng Kai nodded towards his daughter. Tiantian looked a bit scared, but more than anything, she was confused. Why had inserting her straw into the milk carton attracted so many strange people? But seeing her father’s explicit signal, she handed the milk to the other party in a daze. The native received it with a face full of surprise, leaving the blooming white flower with Tiantian, and then it was time for a grand song-and-dance performance.

The big guy, who looked like a chieftain or leader, gazed at the milk enraptured, sniffed lightly near the straw, and his face instantly lit up. Next, it was like a game of pass-the-parcel. The carton of milk was passed among the six natives, each sniffing it once and then radiating rapture. After one round, the chieftain tore off the straw, tilted his head back, and poured the thick white liquid into his mouth, followed by another, renewed round of dazzling brilliance. It was as if they weren’t drinking milk but some celestial ambrosia capable of reviving the dead and turning decay into magic.

After each native had taken a big gulp, finishing the 200-milliliter carton, the six skillfully stretched out their hands into the classic hexagonal star pose for trendy group photos. Placing the empty Bairun Dairy carton at the center of the star, all six faced the camera, flexed their chest muscles, and shouted in extremely non-standard Chinese, “Rich and Fragrant Bairun, the delicious milk even natives love to drink! Ura!”

After this full combo, not only were the guests stunned, but the viewers in all the live broadcast rooms were dumbfounded:

[Damn, it was born…]

[Yongzi, you really got it, just like you. Where the hell did ‘Ura’ come from? Where did you find such dark-skinned Russians?!]

[Hahahahahaha I’m laughing so hard I’m splitting. Yong Dog, the advertising world really misses out without you. Did you get inspiration from those African kids’ birthday greeting services?]

[Others treat the client like a father; Bai Yong treats the client like an ancestor. No wonder you make big money…]

After the natives finished their performance, the chieftain walked over again and said in non-standard Chinese, “Thank you for the fine milk you brought. I, I…” He forgot the words halfway through. The chieftain then pulled out a notebook from inside his grass skirt. Flipping through his previous “phonetic notes,” he continued haltingly, “I, can, offer, you, a, help!”

Finally getting it out, the chieftain wiped the sweat away and muttered a curse under his breath while covering his mouth to cough.

Immediately, everyone pushed Kang Feier forward and asked the chieftain if it was okay to communicate in English. The chieftain instantly smiled broadly and nodded.

The group discussed it; food and shelter were both very important to them, but with still a long time until nightfall, they definitely needed to secure the coconuts first. Kang Feier communicated this to the chieftain on everyone’s behalf: “We want coconuts, lots and lots of coconuts.”

After she spoke, the chieftain easily signaled an OK, then switched to the local dialect and rapidly gave instructions to the five native helpers behind him. The chieftain took a grass-woven necklace off his neck—something resembling a rope twisted from straw, but in a brighter, golden-yellow color. The chieftain first walked to the coconut tree closest to the group, coincidentally the one William had been climbing earlier. It was only then that the group remembered William was likely still up in the tree when the natives appeared. Turning around, they found the man had come down at some point. Embarrassed, they quickly exchanged a few concerned words. William could only smile and say it was nothing, though privately he was deeply frustrated.

He’d originally planned to make a good impression on these people this way, making subsequent actions less suspicious. He had deliberately slowed his movements and tensed his muscles to make the process of picking the coconuts look laborious and difficult, wanting them to be even more grateful to him. He never expected that, just as he was about to touch the coconuts, several wild men would suddenly burst out. Even if it was just the production team creating an effect, the performance went on for so long, thoroughly capturing everyone’s attention. Even his little employer, who usually regarded him as an idol, watched the wild men’s performance with rapt attention. He could only climb down dejectedly.

Just as William, wearing a smile but nursing secret resentment, glared at the chieftain, hoping the man would slip and fall from the tree mid-way, the chieftain wrapped the golden straw necklace around his ankle. The principle of using leverage was similar to William’s shoelace method, but because the necklace was thicker and rougher, the effect was even better. The six men leaped upwards almost simultaneously. Then, with an unimaginably relaxed posture—feet on the trunk, hands gripping tightly—they seemingly bounced upwards continuously. In under ten seconds, they had shot up to the top of the tree. Then they cut down a large cluster of coconuts growing on the same thick stem, tied them to a rope, and slowly lowered them down first, before descending themselves using the same upward-bouncing method. The other five moved just as quickly. Soon, six piles of coconuts were in front of the crowd, each pile looking to have over a dozen. Even if the guests found nothing else, they could comfortably get through three days on the island just drinking coconut water and eating coconut meat.

After the exertion, their pumped muscles looked even more massive. Seeing the natives’ tightly corded, powerful, exaggeratedly developed muscles, the guests could do nothing but cheer loudly and applaud. William, who had been seen as a King Kong-type strongman just moments ago, suddenly appeared bookish when compared horizontally to the natives. Watching the crowd constantly cheering for the wild men, William, now retreated to the back, grew increasingly gloomy inside.

Receiving six piles of coconuts instantly satisfied the guests. Weng Kai immediately asked through Kang Feier, “Can you help us open the coconuts?”

The chieftain waved his hand. “One carton of milk only buys one help.”

Peng Li promptly took a carton of milk from her backpack. Taking the milk, the chieftain grinned ear to ear. Fortunately, though, they didn’t repeat the pass-the-parcel milk-drinking performance. Instead, he handed the milk to a junior behind him to hold. He himself found a stick sharpened at both ends. He first stuck it into the ground to stabilize it. Then he twisted off a coconut. He jammed it onto the upward-pointing sharp end, pressing down with one hand and tearing outwards with the other, quickly stripping off the thick, fibrous outer husk, leaving only the light brown inner shell.

After stripping the coconut, the chieftain displayed it to everyone, signaling he’d completed the first step. He then accepted a stone handed over by another native. Apart from being somewhat flat, it looked no different from any stone casually picked up from the ground. The chieftain showed everyone the three pores on one side of the coconut, adjusting it so two pores were on top and one below—resembling an alien face. He then forcefully struck the middle section of the upper part. With a crack, liquid splashed out. The coconut split in two. The chieftain quickly raised his hand to prevent more coconut water from spilling. He swiftly separated the halves, tossing one back in a gulp and offering the other half to Peng Li, who had provided the milk. Another round of exclamations rose from the guests on-site and in the bullet comments: amazing!

The chieftain clearly intended not just to demonstrate. His task from Bai Yong was to teach the guests how to open coconuts. So, after opening the first one, he immediately grabbed Weng Kai, who looked most suited for the task, and made him try. Soon, the guests learned how to use the stick’s sharp point to tear off the coconut’s thick outer shell. But they encountered difficulty at the step of cracking the coconut open.

The chieftain cracked them with one precise hit each time, seemingly without much force. Yet the guests at the front, including William with his sculpted muscles, couldn’t make a dent. Everyone suspected there was some skillful technique involved in cracking the coconut. Finally, each person took a peeled coconut and tried several times to see who could first grasp the technique.

Ji Nuo was near Ruirui’s family. Chu Chengpeng, having struck over ten times without moving his coconut at all, handed it and the stone to Ji Nuo. Ji Nuo had planned just a casual tap to get it over with, but the chieftain very seriously adjusted the coconut’s position for him and pointed out the exact spot on the stone to strike. Ji Nuo had no choice but to nod. He aimed for the middle section of the coconut and struck down. “Crack!” The coconut split open in his palm. Just as the juice started gushing, Ji Nuo tilted it upwards. The natives excitedly cheered in their local dialect, which the guests couldn’t understand. Ji Nuo could roughly guess they were happy they could report their task done.