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Chapter 33 Part 3


Han Cheng swept his wet, stray hair back, revealing his smooth forehead and making his entire face look even more dashing. Ji Nuo took a handsome face critical hit first before remembering that Han Cheng’s short-sleeved shirt was still draped over Lu Ao’ao. “Ao’ao, give Uncle Han Cheng his clothes back.”

Looking down again, he found Lu Ao’ao was actually wiping his hands on the Han Cheng T-shirt covering his body.

Lu Aotian had just eagerly touched the snail meat, and it was very slimy and gross. The clean-freak little Ao had activated and immediately started cleaning his hands on the shirt he was wearing.

By the time Ji Nuo finished speaking, Lu Aotian had also finished cleaning. He took off the now crumpled and dirty T-shirt and proactively delivered it to Han Cheng’s hand. “Here you go.”

Han Cheng had long guessed that his clothes wouldn’t fare well in his little hands. After taking it, he just wiped the sand off his legs, not intending to wear it again.

“This is a Coconut Snail. Not a protected animal, edible.” Han Cheng stated concisely.

Lu Aotian was so excited he jumped in place. “Then let’s head back fast and cook it!”

Han Cheng had previously eaten a giant Coconut Snail weighing over twenty jin. The taste wasn’t bad, but because these large snails are often parasitized by nematodes, he couldn’t accept eating it as sashimi. He’d opted for fully cooked slices, and that experience hadn’t really been enjoyable.

Upon hearing it had worms and the texture wasn’t good, Lu Aotian’s little face fell.

Immediately after, his little hand loosened, and the small plastic bucket dropped back to the ground. “Then throw it out.”

Ji Nuo reached out to stop him. “Keep it for now. Filling our bellies is what matters at this point.”

Lu Aotian’s expression was listless, suddenly feeling that his luck on this Island Trip might not be very good.

As he thought this, his pair of grey-blue glass beads darted over to Han Cheng. His little mouth pouted slightly.

Using the control variable method, he had reason to suspect that Han Cheng was bringing bad luck to him and his smelly little brother. It had to be that way!

Ji Nuo bent down to pick up the small plastic bucket Ao’ao had discarded. As he looked up, he noticed the outer side of Han Cheng’s palm had been scraped and broken by the reef. He immediately pulled out a tissue from his pocket.

Han Cheng took the tissue and wiped it. Seeing the wound wasn’t deep, he paid it no further mind.

~

On the other side, although Bai Yong, to calm his emotions, hadn’t been focusing on Ji Nuo’s group, the Deputy Director, worried something might go wrong, had been keeping an eye on the live broadcast. The moment he saw the trio pick up a Coconut Snail bigger than a hand, he let out a gasp of shock.

Bai Yong took a deep breath but still couldn’t help it. “What other ‘prop’ did they find now?”

He truly suspected that if this continued, the rumor of him providing props for Ji Nuo and Han Cheng’s group really couldn’t be cleared…

The Deputy Director immediately turned the screen toward him. “Coconut Snail, it barely even fit in the plastic bucket!”

Bai Yong: “…”

Bai Yong hadn’t eaten one of these either, but judging by its size, he guessed it was definitely not cheap. The moment he realized this little runt had once again picked up a treasure for free, Bai Yong was truly convinced. He dug out his cooling balm and started rubbing it on his temples.

It wasn’t until he heard Han Cheng say Coconut Snails aren’t tasty that Bai Yong’s mood improved slightly. Ji Nuo’s family was clearly supposed to be here to live through hardship. He was truly terrified this trio would again live a blissful life, eating better than the production team at every meal.

Watching the little friend Lu Ao’ao’s pouting lips, which could practically hang an oil bottle, Bai Yong felt he’d applied his cooling balm too soon. This time’s opening was pretty good~ And so, he continued to watch, folding his arms, together with the Deputy Director.

After a stroll around the rocky beach, the two adults and one child felt that while the island was rich in resources, the Oysters, Barnacles, and common sea snails were all too small. And they currently had no device for catching fish.

As for crabs, the rocky beach here was mostly gravel and massive boulders. It wasn’t easy to flip rocks for crabs during the day. At night, when crabs came out to move around and forage, they could possibly try their luck.

Still, looking at the current situation, if the freshwater problem could be solved smoothly, the most needed tool was a knife. Whether for making fish and crab traps out of plastic bottles and buckets, or for slicing the tough snail meat, a knife was essential.

After making a round along the rocky beach, from afar they spotted some Wild Pineapple behind the coconut grove. While this wild fruit’s taste was nowhere near comparable to a regular pineapple, it was still a common island plant.

Considering they only had coconuts at hand, it would be a nice change of pace to bring one back. So they picked one that was the most golden in color. Han Cheng had never eaten this fruit and didn’t know how to pick the best one to eat, so he defaulted to selecting the one with the prettiest, most pleasing color.

Although the two adults and one child had reaped a bountiful harvest, Lu Aotian already knew in advance that both the Coconut Snail and Wild Pineapple were edible but hardly delicious, and the tiny oysters and sea snails were too minuscule to even fill the gaps in his teeth. Thus, on the way back, his little face practically drooped to the ground. It wasn’t until they reached the “Solar Water Purifiers” he had devised that he managed to revitalize his spirits.

After two hours of scorching sun, the inner walls of the film above the “Solar Water Purifiers” were already heavily beaded with trembling droplets, and a small amount had accumulated in the collection containers below.

Since they had split it across ten sand pits, each pit only needed to produce an average of ten milliliters, roughly the amount of one and a half bottle caps.

Seeing the water in the small coconut shell bowls was almost enough, the three directly excavated the large Giant Clam Shell to serve as a consolidation container. They gathered the stored water from the nine small coconut shell bowls, as well as the yet-to-drip droplets on the plastic film, and easily met the 100-milliliter quota.

They smoothly exchanged this with the production team for a simple Seawater Desalination Device made of stainless steel. What was somewhat surprising was that this device was clearly dual-purpose.

The main body was a large stainless steel pot. A steam guide and condensation tube extended from the top of the pot lid. Placing a water storage container under the tube’s mouth would continuously yield pure fresh water.

However, if the guide and condensation tube on the pot lid was detached, the device could be used as a large pot. The production team had even very thoughtfully provided two layers of stainless steel grates, allowing the large boiling pot to instantly transform into a large steamer.

Although the bottom didn’t have a non-stick coating, it could barely serve as a wok. One could say, with pot in hand, no worries about cooking. It could also be seen as a rare extra perk given by the production team.

Their fire source was still preserved. Han Cheng gathered stones on the spot to build a simple stove. He added a large half-pot of seawater and started distilling. Considering the distillate might not be fully cooled and would still be quite hot, they first caught it in the massive Giant Clam Shell Ao’ao had found. Once it was full and cooled to a moderate temperature, they transferred it into a cleaned large plastic bottle.

At the same time, Ji Nuo began processing the Wild Pineapple.

This thing looked very much like the Devil Fruits from anime. Though called Wild Pineapple, it actually had nothing to do with pineapples besides a similar color and both being aggregate fruits.

The outer surface of a wild pineapple was densely arranged with individual nut-like seeds. Because its shape resembled a lotus throne, it was once highly sought after by curio enthusiasts.

Ji Nuo easily pried off the exterior seeds one by one, revealing a bright yellow core. This was the part they could eat.

However, it was said wild pineapple flesh also contained proteolytic enzymes like regular pineapple and would sting the mouth if eaten raw. So after peeling, Ji Nuo placed it in seawater to soak for half an hour.

While Ji Nuo and Han Cheng were busy, Lu Aotian thought about having to go back to the coconut grove soon to gnaw on coconuts and fell into a rare state of dejection.

The scheming Bai Yong remotely instructed the Follow Cameraman to cut to a close-up of the pitiful little child, heavily chronicling this rare scene.

Lu Aotian had no interest in the large distillation pot, nor the Wild Pineapple that looked unappetizing. He listlessly crouched beside the small bucket, looking at the giant Coconut Snail that barely fit into the larger plastic bucket, his heart ached with regret.

Growing to such a large size, and yet it wasn’t tasty!

Clutching a twig he’d picked up on the road, he bulged his little cheeks and poked the Coconut Snail in the water listlessly, his little face clearly expressing his dissatisfaction with the snail’s lack of ambition.

By the time Han Cheng had set up the Distillation Device and piled enough combustible material into the simple stone stove, letting the seawater distill on its own, the two adults and one child planned to use this time to go back to the coconut grove and eat some coconuts to replenish their energy.

Not long after entering the coconut grove, Ji Nuo noticed the wound on Han Cheng’s hand was still bleeding. He asked the Follow Cameraman, “Did the production team prepare styptic spray?”

Han Cheng glanced at it and waved his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing, hereditary, not serious. It’ll stop once it air-dries for a bit.”

Ji Nuo’s brows furrowed slightly, remembering Ao’ao also had some clotting issues… He subconsciously looked around for the little runt walking on his left, wanting to ask the little dumpling if the police auntie had taken him to check his clotting factor activity last time.

Unexpectedly, he found the little friend whose face had been drooping moments ago had dashed in a flash to a nearby coconut tree.

Lu Aotian pushed aside several withered coconut leaves and yelled loudly, “Stop dating! Does this look like a crab to you?!”


Long Aotian Cub’s Reverse Dadding on Baby Variety Show

Long Aotian Cub’s Reverse Dadding on Baby Variety Show

带龙傲天崽崽上娃综爆红了
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Only after his death did Lu Aotian learn he was destined to be a Long Aotian villain who meets a tragic end. After retiring from the Quick Transmigration Bureau, he chose to transmigrate back to annihilate all opposition.

But the timeline was scrambled, and he was sent back to before he was even born.

Lu Aotian gave a sinister, proud sneer: "Heh, a mere accident is nothing to fear."

The interviewer for *Where Are the Cubs Going?* felt the corner of their mouth twitch. "Uh… Little Friend Lu Ao'ao… is there anything else you’d like to say to your Intern Dad?"

Lu Aotian: ?

He looked down at his own three-heads-tall body and fell silent.

~

Ji Nuo was a minor, no-name celebrity plagued by scandals. After an accidental "romance" with the Movie Emperor got exposed, he was delighted to receive a contract-couple agreement.

After the official announcement, they joined *Where Are the Cubs Going?* to strike while the iron was hot. The Movie Emperor’s schedule was packed, so the production team found a child who looked like the Movie Emperor and had Ji Nuo take care of the kid to build hype for the CP.

Then, right before filming started, Ji Nuo received a "terminal illness" diagnosis.

He immediately gave up on life: If he was about to die, why bother with a kid? Absolutely not. And cooperate with the Movie Emperor’s public-image-whitening romantic act? He’d rather retire from the entertainment industry and fade into complete obscurity.

But he never expected that once the cheap son came online, Ji Nuo would be stunned.

The exquisitely cute little dumpling was not only a miniature version of the Movie Emperor, but also shared Ji Nuo’s very own peach-blossom eyes and tiny dimples. If someone said the two men had somehow broken the laws of biology and birthed the child themselves, everyone would believe it.

Ji Nuo, like a salted fish flipping over, wanted to take the cub and just lie down together. But this cub—

"A mere cold wants me to take medicine? Absolutely impossible!"

"Go easy on a competition? Dream on! I was born to be first!"

...

While surviving on a deserted island, a bratty kid from next door lifted his chin to the sky: "My uncle is Special Forces. If you want fish, beg me for it!"

The cub’s mouth twisted into a smirk. He turned around, plunged into the river, and caught eight fish with his bare hands.

Ji Nuo: ...

Everyone else: Are they acting??!

At first, netizens raged, demanding the father-son pair get off the baby variety show:

[Trying to suck Teacher Han’s blood to whiten your image?]

[Refuse to accept garbage nepo babies with a script in hand!!]

Later, as the show aired, the father-son duo’s popularity exploded:

[Good lord, even scriptwriters wouldn’t dare write this. I want to soul-transmigrate into Ji Nuo and experience the joy of being carried by a cub.]

[Cub is so amazing and Nuonuo is so pretty!! Ahhhhh I'm coming to break this family apart! Best Actor Han, let's duel!]

[My source of sugar-rush sustenance, wuwuwu QAQ, this family of three should record a billion more seasons!!!]

~

Even later, after the cub confirmed Ji Nuo was worthy, he issued a command in a tone reminiscent of Qin Shi Huang wiring money: "My dad is Lu Hancheng, the future Richest Man. Take me to find him, and I’ll give you fifty million."

Ji Nuo looked at the child who, despite being only four, spoke as if he’d had an untreated stroke for ten years, and smiled weakly: "There really is no one in this world named Lu Hancheng."

Soon after, the Movie Emperor’s background as a scion of a top prestigious family was exposed, revealing his real name to be Lu Hancheng.

Ji Nuo: ????

The Movie Emperor returned with explosive popularity. The moment he walked through the door, he was met by a large and a small figure staring at him fiercely.

Ji Nuo: Has a kid yet still engages in fake CP with a man? Worse than a dog! Ptooey!

Cub: No wonder my mom will die in childbirth in the future. Marriage-scamming dead gay scum! Ptooey!

Movie Emperor: ?

...Was he not supposed to step in with his left foot first?

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