After that one plea of “please,” everything that followed came naturally.
Dai Linxuan tacitly consented to what came next, his voice slightly hoarse as he said, “Finish up and then go to sleep. No more messing around.”
“I’m not messing around.” Lai Li lowered his head, pressing it into the hollow of Dai Linxuan’s shoulder, and closed his eyes.
His ears suddenly rang with an ethereal clarity. The ticking of the clock and the patter of rain outside faded into nothingness, while the soft rustle of the zipper sliding down and fabric rubbing together amplified endlessly. There was also his brother’s breathing, which had grown noticeably heavier yet was deliberately restrained.
The moment he was enveloped by a hand that wasn’t his own, Lai Li couldn’t help but let out a sigh.
“Two years ago, you were willing to take that step. Why are you so hesitant now?”
Dai Linxuan fell silent for a moment. “Back then, I didn’t think it through carefully enough.”
Lai Li turned his head, pressing his forehead against Dai Linxuan’s neck. Right before his eyes was his brother’s prominent Adam’s apple, the pale skin faintly glistening with a layer of fine sweat.
He covered the back of Dai Linxuan’s hand and began to move it slowly.
“What would count as thinking it through?”
Dai Linxuan didn’t respond, as if lost in thought.
Occasionally, he wondered if his “resentment” toward Lai Li over the past two years had been rather unreasonable… After all, he himself hadn’t been entirely pure when he took that step two years ago.
Too many ugly truths lay submerged at the bottom. He desperately wanted to grasp the only floating piece of driftwood on the surface before drowning, if only for some comfort.
But there were too many water weeds, and the driftwood was too light.
Lai Li’s expression darkened. He could zone out at a time like this?
He lifted his brother’s shirt hem and slipped his hand inside. Dai Linxuan’s skin was far smoother and more delicate than his own, without a single rough patch. His waistline flowed gracefully, and the curve of his muscles was just right.
Lai Li simply couldn’t get enough of it.
Dai Linxuan suddenly snapped back to attention, a vein throbbing on his forehead. “Take your hand out!”
“It’s getting bored.” Lai Li’s huffed laugh exploded against Dai Linxuan’s neck, raising a trail of goosebumps. “Or maybe let it hold something?”
Dai Linxuan coolly lowered his gaze to Lai Li’s tense jawline. “Are you thinking I’ve spoiled you too much?”
“Hiss…” Lai Li winced in pain. “Bro, lighter.”
Dai Linxuan’s hand trembled, numbing half his arm. “Shut up.”
To avoid having a layer of skin peeled off, Lai Li reluctantly withdrew his hand. He rose slightly, bracing against the sofa backrest and half-trapping Dai Linxuan beneath him.
“Bro…”
“Don’t call me bro.”
“Why not?” Lai Li looked down at his brother’s quivering eyelashes and licked his lips. “Does it make you feel guilty?”
Dai Linxuan closed his eyes briefly. Instinctively, he loosened his fingers. The hand that had been covering Lai Li’s, supervising with force, suddenly tightened, compelling him to grip again.
“We can never go back to how things were.” Most of Lai Li’s face was shadowed away from the light. “You know that.”
Of course Dai Linxuan knew.
From the day he returned to the country, he had known that everything he had would shatter eventually—it was only a matter of time.
“But we’re not a shattered mirror. The past is still intact; we’ve just added more embellishments to the frame, gilding the lily.” Lai Li spouted nonsense. “Even blood brothers, once they pass a certain age, falling in love and committing incest isn’t a crime.”
Blood brothers? Falling in love?
Dai Linxuan couldn’t tolerate such deviant thinking. “Lai Li, at least follow basic societal norms.”
Lai Li leaned down to lick his eyes. “I’m not human.”
Dai Linxuan only had time to close his eyes before a patch of wetness fell on his eyelid.
“…Why don’t you go straight to heaven?” Dai Linxuan instinctively raised a hand to wipe his eye, but Lai Li swayed as if he might topple over the next second. He reflexively steadied Lai Li’s waist before realizing he’d been played again.
As for his other hand, it was gripped too tightly to pull free.
Lai Li didn’t want to harm his brother, so even though he craved the taste of blood intensely, he didn’t bite down. Thus, this lick—representing restraint and suppression—absolutely could not be wiped away.
He leaned down again and kissed his brother’s other eye. The sensation of eyelashes brushing his lips was addictive.
Raindrops battered the glass violently, streaking the floor-to-ceiling windows with blotches. The room’s amorous haze blurred, making it hard to tell whether the slow beads rolling down were sweat or raindrops on the glass.
“Bro…” Lai Li couldn’t help but thrust a few times. “Call my name.”
Dai Linxuan turned his face away. After a long moment, he spoke. “Xiao Li.”
Lai Li wasn’t satisfied. “Not that one.”
Dai Linxuan paused. “Lai Li?”
“…” Lai Li bit down on his neck in frustration, not releasing until the heated atmosphere settled. But he only left a faint mark, which vanished from the skin soon after.
Dai Linxuan shoved him aside and grabbed a few tissues to wipe his fingers.
Lai Li, sated, sidled closer, hugging his waist from behind and nuzzling the nape of his neck.
Dai Linxuan pried away his obviously wandering hand. “Go take a shower.”
Lai Li: “Bro…”
Dai Linxuan refused. “I don’t need it.”
Lai Li narrowed his eyes but relented. “Then let me hold you a bit longer.”
Dai Linxuan flicked up his eyelids, glancing at their reflection in the floor-to-ceiling window. “Want me to give you a cigarette?”
“No need.” Lai Li pressed his face against his back, rubbing back and forth. “I don’t like smoking… You shouldn’t either. Quit—it’s bad for your health.”
Dai Linxuan didn’t have an addiction to begin with; he couldn’t even finish two packs in a month. But he was too lazy to explain right now. His mind was a mess, still dwelling on Lai Li’s “condition” from earlier.
He preferred to believe it was a lie Lai Li had fabricated.
The jumbled thoughts gave Dai Linxuan a headache. He considered lighting one up, but with a heavy koala clinging to his back and his palm still sticky even after wiping, the urge vanished.
“Done hugging?”
“No.” Yet Lai Li still released Dai Linxuan’s waist. “You go first. I’ll grab pajamas.”
Dai Linxuan hummed. “In the suitcase divider.”
Lai Li zipped up and paused at the door, turning back. “Can I wear your underwear?”
Dai Linxuan frowned. “I’ll have someone send some…”
Lai Li said, “I can go without. Wash this pair and hang it—it’ll dry overnight.”
Dai Linxuan’s eyelid twitched. “If you’re not wearing any, don’t sleep with me.”
Lai Li let out an “ah.” “Bro, I’m sleeping with you tonight?”
“…” Dai Linxuan walked into the bedroom without looking back and slammed the door shut.
Lai Li smugly curled his lips. Even pissed off like that, he couldn’t bring himself to say “get out.” What grounds did he have to refuse?
If the old Dai Linxuan had been the most perfect artwork in a museum, then Lai Li was the sole curator—with the right to open the glass case, yet never openly overstepping…
Ah, but he had overstepped; he just forgot.
His brother always underestimated his own allure, blind to the obsessed gazes of passersby. Those onlookers lingered, feet rooted to the spot, occasionally harboring possessive thoughts.
Back then, the glass case kept everyone at bay. No one could claim ownership.
But now, Dai Linxuan had lifted the case himself, stepping into the filthy crowd. Anyone could reach out and touch him…
Lai Li would never allow that.
Even if owned, it wouldn’t be by anyone else.
They weren’t at that point yet, though. There was still a chance to replace the glass dome. As for their nighttime kisses or lovemaking, as long as no one knew, it didn’t count as defilement.
Dai Linxuan could still live his life openly and honorably.
Of course, the illegitimate child matter absolutely could not be exposed… For now, aside from Jiang Qiujun, Dai Linxuan, and himself, no one else should know.
Even without feelings for Dai Linxuan, Jiang Qiujun wouldn’t spill it— it gained her nothing.
But there was one hidden threat—
Jiang Qiujun’s “lover.”
Lai Li pondered as he swiped the keycard to open room 2306. Inside, he saw the assistant coming out for water, wearing only pajamas.
His face darkened instantly. Had his brother shared a room like this with someone these past couple nights?
Li Jue froze, rubbing his eyes, thinking he was still asleep. “President Lai?”
Lai Li stared coldly at him.
Li Jue fell silent. Had he done anything to offend this ancestor?
He probed, “Are you here for President Dai?”
Lai Li grunted. “Where’s my brother?”
Li Jue answered honestly, “President Dai got a call from a friend this afternoon. Seemed like an emergency over there. He went and hasn’t come back.”
Lai Li asked, “What friend?”
He knew Dai Linxuan’s social circle inside out and had no idea of any “friend” here worth hiding.
If it were someone he knew with an issue, Dai Linxuan wouldn’t need to lie to brush him off.
“Not sure.” Li Jue didn’t know either. “Why not call President Dai?”
He was puzzled. It was a workday—why wasn’t this ancestor in class? How could he show up here after just three days apart? Stickier than a young couple.
Lai Li entered the only empty bedroom, grabbed two sets of pajamas and towels, and left.
Li Jue: “…”
Something felt off.
Lai Li hurried back. Though he knew his brother wouldn’t bolt at this hour, he was still worried.
The sound of running water continued from the bathroom. Lai Li twisted the doorknob, annoyed to find it locked from inside. But soon after, Dai Linxuan emerged wrapped in a bathrobe, steam wafting off him.
Lai Li leaned against the doorframe. “Warding off thieves?”
His brother wasn’t obsessive about cleanliness, but he always brought his own toiletries to hotels, never using theirs—let alone their bathrobes.
Dai Linxuan took the pajamas from his hand, brushed past to the bed, and said curtly, “Go wash up.”
Lai Li entered the bathroom. “No need for midnight snacks. I’m not hungry.”
Dai Linxuan’s hand paused on the room phone. He glanced back. “Planning to starve yourself?”
“Not hungry anymore.”
Maybe he’d passed the point of hunger, or maybe his appetite had been satisfied earlier—either way, Lai Li felt nothing now.
He didn’t even close the door, stripping off his clothes and tossing them into the hamper before standing naked under the shower. Unfortunately, the other party showed no interest in peeking.
When he came out, Dai Linxuan had already changed and was leaning against the bedhead on the phone. “Awake? How’s she doing?”
Lai Li dried his hair while staring. Dai Linxuan didn’t spare him a glance.
He tossed the towel aside, lifted the covers, and knelt on either side of Dai Linxuan’s body, leaning in to listen by his ear—
The voice replied, “I think she’s okay? She told me not to worry, that she won’t try to kill herself again.”
Lai Li furrowed his brow. Liao De?
He shot Dai Linxuan a questioning look.
Liao De continued, “I’ll take shifts tonight with that Buzzcut guy. No problem.”
Dai Linxuan said, “Good. Thanks for the trouble.”
As he was about to hang up, Liao De teased, “Did the ancestor pick up?”
Dai Linxuan: “…”
The nearby ancestor suddenly chuckled and leaned in to kiss his chin. Dai Linxuan’s eyelid twitched. The next second, his bad premonition came true—Lai Li’s hand slipped under the covers, grabbing him through his pajama pants.
Dai Linxuan seized Lai Li’s wrist, his gaze darkening. “Hanging up now. Get some rest.”
“Don’t.” Liao De couldn’t resist gossiping. “I keep thinking this woman looks familiar. Isn’t she—”
Dai Linxuan hung up, cutting off Liao De.
Lai Li snatched his phone and tossed it aside. “Woman? Who?”
Dai Linxuan paused. “A friend. I’ll introduce you when there’s a chance.”
“Okay.” Surprisingly, Lai Li didn’t press.
Dai Linxuan released his hand and ruffled his damp hair, his tone softening slightly. “Bring the hairdryer.”
Lai Li: “No need. It’ll dry soon.”
“If you won’t dry it, go to sleep.” Dai Linxuan swatted his hand away, finally at his limit as he shoved Lai Li aside and tucked the covers between them. “Touch me again and sleep next door.”
Lai Li asked, “Can you even sleep?”
Dai Linxuan hadn’t brought sleeping pills, and with Lai Li’s amnesia symptom freshly revealed, of course he couldn’t.
He said calmly, “What’s there to keep me up?”
“It doesn’t seem to agree.” Lai Li rolled over, placing his hand there with sincere intent. “Bro, proper release helps with sleep.”
Dai Linxuan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Xiao Li…”
Lai Li narrowed his eyes. “You’re not planning to pretend nothing happened after waking up tomorrow, are you?”
“…”
“Don’t even think about it. Accept it—it’s your only choice.” Lai Li wouldn’t let Dai Linxuan’s loosening resolve linger overnight. Give him time to regroup, and he’d seal himself up tight again.
Dai Linxuan let out a light breath and averted his gaze. “Go to sleep. I don’t want to right now…”
Lai Li cupped his face and pressed in forcefully. Dai Linxuan was ready to push him away, but all he got was a wet, puppy-like lick of a kiss.
Lai Li softened his voice. “I don’t know what I did two years ago to hurt you, but I absolutely didn’t mean to—give me another chance?”
Dai Linxuan’s lips moved. “I’m not hurt, don’t overthink it” was right on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t say it out loud.
“It’s not your fault. There shouldn’t have been that beginning in the first place.” Dai Linxuan sighed lightly. “If our relationship ever gets exposed one day, do you know how viciously the outside world will judge you?”
“It won’t get exposed.” Lai Li wouldn’t allow that to happen. Besides, the “viciousness” in his brother’s eyes was nothing more than child’s play to him—hardly worth caring about.
Lai Li changed tactics to brainwash his brother. “Even if it does get exposed, they’ll come after you first, and only then me. The worst outcome is… we go to hell together.”
Dai Linxuan was speechless. After a long pause, he said, “Lai Li, I hope you can live safely and smoothly…”
“Ge.” Lai Li interrupted. “My only vision for life is being by your side. Nothing else matters.”
Dai Linxuan looked away and slowly raised his hand to cover Lai Li’s eyes. “That’s because you’ve only met too few people. You should…”
“If I pay attention to others and end up with someone else, is that what you want to see? You can’t stand me getting close to anyone else, so why do something against your heart? Just because you’re my brother?”
Lai Li persuaded him step by step. “You should think: the one you raised will be yours for life. Whatever we do is only natural and beyond reproach.”
Compared to before, Lai Li’s power of “persuasion” had increased tenfold or more.
Dai Linxuan couldn’t resist it back then, and he still couldn’t now. His heart and brain went in opposite directions—skipping beats one moment, racing the next—leaving his thoughts in a tangled mess.
With a slight headache, he thought that fortunately, there was only one Lai Li in this world. Otherwise, with logic like this robber’s, human morality and civilization would regress five thousand years.
“If you can’t get past it in your heart, just think of it as me seducing you, as fulfilling my wish.” Lai Li pressed down Dai Linxuan’s hand, interlocking their fingers seamlessly—
“You said before that as long as I wanted it, as long as you could give it, you wouldn’t hold back.”
“…You remember that clearly.” Dai Linxuan’s voice was hoarse and soft, a few words sounding like they’d been scattered by the wind, almost inaudible.
After saying it, Dai Linxuan remembered: there was a video in Lai Li’s camera of him making that promise. It was from the period after Lai Li’s kidnapping three years ago—the true beginning of his wavering.
After experiencing a heart-pounding loss and recovery, when he received Lai Li’s “feelings” again, he couldn’t help thinking: what did it matter to bear the scorn of defying worldly ethics? As long as Lai Li was happily alive.
Three years later, Lai Li wanted him to honor that promise: “I want you to forgive me.”
Lai Li rubbed against his lips again and added, “I also want you to have only me from now on, not just for nighttime fun.”
It was as if someone had suddenly squeezed Dai Linxuan’s heart, splashing out sour, scalding hot juices that made even his flesh and bones ache and itch fiercely.
There was no greater damnation than this.
From birth, he was destined to be a sinner, and now he had to compound it.
“Ge…” With their fingers still interlocked, Lai Li lifted Dai Linxuan’s hand and kissed the fingertip that had once been pricked. “On this matter, no one can judge you guilty—not even me.”
