Chapter 25

Once home, Tian Yao found Yu Nian had already washed the dishes for him and was now sitting on the bed. The oil lamp was dim, leaving his face, which faced away from the light, obscured and unreadable.

Clearly, their distance had grown closer just this afternoon when he taught him archery. But now, Tian Yao felt Yu Nian was so far away again, so very far. They’d only shared a meal with Li Song—how had it come to this?

He wasn’t the type to hold things in. He strode quickly to the bedside, wanting to understand. “Yu Nian.”

Yu Nian lifted his eyes to look at him.

“What’s wrong with you today,” Tian Yao sat on the edge of the bed. “You weren’t happy during dinner. When I wanted to escort him back, you weren’t happy either.”

“I wasn’t unhappy. I just…” Yu Nian faltered for words, unsure where to begin.

“You clearly were. The way you looked at Li Song was like he’d stolen something from our house.” Tian Yao’s lips unconsciously formed a pout.

By his own well-bred standards, Yu Nian was sure he wouldn’t do anything to let others so plainly read his emotions. Much less someone as unobservant as Tian Yao—there was no reason he should have been able to tell.

“I was watching very clearly. You didn’t touch any of the dishes tonight that were made from the things he brought. Did he offend you?”

What Tian Yao could imagine was that while he wasn’t present, Li Song might have said something to upset Yu Nian, especially concerning his leg. He was afraid Li Song, being rather loud and careless, had wounded Yu Nian’s pride.

“That’s not it.” Yu Nian sighed. “I was just thinking, he can’t exactly be considered a good match.”

Tian Yao didn’t quite follow. “What does whether he’s a good match have to do with you? Are you thinking of marrying him instead?”

Yu Nian reached out and poked his head. “What nonsense are you spouting?”

“Then why do you care if he’s a good match? You want to play matchmaker for him or something?” Tian Yao grabbed his finger, looking into his eyes. Tian Yao’s eyes were very bright, and the pure clarity in his gaze when looking at people made it very hard to lie to him.

“Tian Yao.” Yu Nian straightened up. “I was only thinking, could he be a good match for you.”

Tian Yao’s hand froze in place. “What did you say? What do you mean, a good match for me.”

His voice rose involuntarily, looking at Yu Nian with incomprehension.

“Calm down, and listen to me,” Yu Nian held his hand. “Let’s talk calmly and rationally.”

Tian Yao couldn’t be calm in the least right now. He was nearly boiling with anger. He only restrained himself because he knew his strength was too great—slapping Yu Nian might give him internal injuries. “Speak! I’m listening!”

Anyone could see his mood was terrible now.

“When I first entered this household, wasn’t it all agreed upon?” Yu Nian’s voice was very soft, carrying an intent to soothe him. “We are husband and wife in name only, correct?”

Tian Yao’s eyes widened. Under the dim lamp, the red rims of his eyes weren’t too obvious. “Who agreed to that with you? Nobody agreed to that with you.”

Seeing him act so childish, Yu Nian shook his head helplessly. “Look at my current state. Crippled. With plenty of people still watching behind me. Those people won’t stop humiliating me just because I married you. This peace is only temporary. They will certainly come again someday.”

“So what? I already said I can protect you,” Tian Yao declared.

“Yao Ge’er, commoners cannot fight against officials,” Yu Nian reasoned with him patiently. “Our Yu family’s estate was so vast, yet they brought it down with lightning speed. Let alone an ordinary village person like you?”

“Yao Ge’er, not staying too close to me is the true way to protect you.” Yu Nian voiced all his worries. “In my condition, there’s no future to speak of.”

Tian Yao brushed this off with complete disregard. “So what? Does this world just not allow a single Yu Nian to live?”

“This world will allow me to live, but it doesn’t want me to live comfortably.”

Yu Nian said, “Why did they make me marry into your family? Because your reputation outside is bad—even worse than the things you’ve heard. And also, since childhood I’ve been taught by my teachers that a man should be of indomitable spirit, standing between heaven and earth. Yet they made me marry into your home as a live-in son-in-law, to break my spirit.”

Tian Yao knew very well his own reputation was indeed not as good as other Gers’. He stared at Yu Nian. “So when you came… you also believed those words?”

Yu Nian didn’t know how Tian Yao’s thoughts had raced off there again. He didn’t deny it. “At that time, I didn’t know you.”

Tian Yao huffed. “And you call yourself a scholar. Don’t you even understand such simple principles? My Little Dad often said: don’t see a single leaf and assume it’s an entire forest.”

“In that matter, I was wrong. I apologize to you. I’m sorry.” Yu Nian cupped his hands and bowed to him. “Can we continue our discussion now?”

Tian Yao turned his head away, ignoring him.

“This coming spring, those people are bound to come here again. By then, I won’t know how to protect you.” Yu Nian understood Feng Zhe’s character very well—sinister and vicious to the extreme. He would certainly not let him off just like that.

Tian Yao patted his sleeve. “You cannot protect me.”

Yu Nian’s lips pressed down slightly. Though it was fact, Tian Yao saying it aloud still made him feel a bit pained inside.

“But can any of those people out-fight me? They can’t, right? I alone can beat ten,” Tian Yao said nonchalantly.

“That’s how the saying goes. But two fists are no match for four hands. However strong you are, can you beat forged swords and sharp blades?”

Tian Yao thought about it. That argument did hold water. He tilted his head. “Then how about this—I’ll fight up front, and you draw your bow and shoot from behind. Your archery is so good, you can surely weave through the crowd and send arrows straight into the enemies’ heads.”

Yu Nian tried to imagine the scene Tian Yao described. Their topic was originally about the relationship between the two of them. How had it now become about a joint strategy against enemies coming to their door?

“Yao Ge’er, that’s not the matter we need to discuss.” He steered the topic back toward his intended direction. “I just don’t want you to be drawn into danger.”

Tian Yao pouted. His mind was already flashing through countless scenes of the two of them as an invincible duo, slaying jackals and tigers. Then Yu Nian ruthlessly interrupted. “From the moment you came to Huailing Village, from the moment I carried you out of the Village Chief’s house, the two of us were inseparable. Even if you claim our relationship is poor, will those people believe it?”

“But at least you could cut your losses in time,” Yu Nian said. “Once you find someone suitable, I will write a Mutual Divorce Agreement, willingly leave the household. That way, even if those people come looking for you, they might even praise you for it.”

Tian Yao rolled his eyes at him. “Yu Nian, you’re actually just a coward, aren’t you.”

“My Little Dad often said, people shouldn’t fear things that haven’t happened yet. The things you speak of… whether they will happen in the future or not is uncertain, yet you’re already rushing to retreat. So yes, you’re just a coward.”

“Tian Yao, this is not a matter for impulse. People must always prepare for a rainy day, to avoid being flustered when things actually happen.”

“Now that’s twisted logic,” Tian Yao argued back. “There are always people who worry the sky will fall. Well, has the sky actually fallen? The things you worry about are shadowy and shapeless! Why can’t we live well in the present? When things happen, we’ll think of solutions then! People can’t always foresee everything that comes after.”

Tian Yao couldn’t produce elegant four-character idioms like “seeing one leaf blinds the eyes” or “groundless worries”. But these very principles… his family had taught him so thoroughly that he saw through things even more clearly than Yu Nian did.

Yu Nian still wanted to speak, but Tian Yao no longer wanted to talk to him. In silence, he heated water, and after they both had washed up, he lay down on the bed fully clothed.

“Yu Nian. Setting aside all those things you worry about… don’t you like me, even just a little?”

Following Tian Yao’s words, the room descended into a long, long silence.

When no answer came even after a long wait, Tian Yao sighed, turned his back to Yu Nian, and murmured, “It’s late. Sleep.”

Tian Yao closed his eyes, his hand curling into a fist beneath the blanket before slowly unfurling. He patted his own chest lightly. He told himself it was fine to be sad for one night. Tomorrow morning, when he woke up, he’d simply forget everything said tonight.

But tonight, he was not going to pay any more attention to Yu Nian.

Tian Yao lay with his eyes open, staring at the charcoal brazier burning in the corner of the room. The faint glowing sparks were the only light in the darkness.

He felt cold. His entire body burrowed deeper into the covers. But before he could even feel the warmth from the bedding… he was pulled into a pair of strong arms.

Tian Yao’s heart leaped into his throat. He grabbed the hand looped around his waist, a silent question in his grip.

“Sleep now. It’s late.” Yu Nian closed his eyes and pulled him even closer into his embrace.

Tian Yao’s earlier emotions vanished. He leaned his body slightly backward into the hold… and only then closed his eyes.

The next morning, it was as if the night’s conversation had never happened. They still interacted just as they always did.

Yu Nian sat to the side, sorting through his handwritten notes, while Tian Yao took care of household chores. Outside the house, there were sounds of children. When Tian Yao enquired, he learned that Liu Zhi had sent someone to call for him, saying lying around all day was too boring and asking Tian Yao to come keep him company.

Tian Yao glanced at Yu Nian. Yu Nian nodded to him. “Go ahead. Little Gray will keep me company at home.”

Lately, Yu Nian had been reading Little Dad’s handwritten notes and had already gained some insights. Many characters Little Dad wrote had traceable shapes. Yu Nian, building off those shapes and gradually approximating current characters, had managed to decipher many words.

Yu Nian found it rather interesting. With nothing else to do, deciphering characters was also a way to pass the time.

“Then read for a bit and rest a bit. Don’t strain your eyes,” Tian Yao said, pulling on his outer garment, stopping at the doorway to give Yu Nian his instructions.

Little Gray trotted along behind Tian Yao.

Tian Yao patted it. “Go home. Stay with Daddy.”

Little Gray simply licked his hand. Then he heard Yu Nian say, “Let it escort you there first. It can find its own way home.”

And so Tian Yao left, with Little Gray beside him.

Arriving at Liu Zhi’s house, Tian Yao saw there was another married man there too. On the day of Tian Yao’s wedding, this man had also come to his house to help. The villagers all called him Married Man Shen.

Married Man Shen’s temperament was quite different from Tian Yao’s and Liu Zhi’s. He was usually quiet and gentle. Even his speaking voice was soft and weak. This made Tian Yao afraid to speak too loudly around him, for fear of startling him.

“I truly am too bored lying around. I invited you all to play Leaf Cards,” Liu Zhi said. He was much better now. Chen Xu, knowing he had invited other married men to the house today, had long since tactfully left to drink tea and wine at someone else’s place.

Father and Mother Chen were home, but aside from delivering tea and snacks, they didn’t come into this room.

The Chen household had a kang bed. Now, all three of them sat on it playing cards—quite cozy indeed.

Only Tian Yao, regardless of whether the hand he was dealt was good or bad, kept sighing incessantly. This made it impossible for Liu Zhi to guess his cards, and he ended up losing many rounds.

Liu Zhi put down his cards and pinched Tian Yao’s cheek. “You’ve been sighing all morning! Come on, tell us, what happened?”

Tian Yao glanced at Liu Zhi, then at Married Man Shen, who was quietly taking a sip of water. He paused for a good long moment before opening his mouth: “So, I have this friend… he just got married a few days ago…”

Before he could even finish, Liu Zhi cut in, “What ‘friend’? Who just got married? Just say it’s yourself.”

Tian Yao: “…”

He then recounted his conversation with Yu Nian from the night before to the two of them—omitting, of course, the matters concerning Yu Nian’s family, only saying he had enemies.

Liu Zhi rubbed his chin and looked at Married Man Shen. He and Chen Xu had taken a liking to each other at the market, after which a matchmaker came, everything proceeding smoothly. So he truly didn’t understand this kind of… dynamic between Tian Yao and Yu Nian.

“I asked him if he likes me or not. He stayed silent. But then when I was cold, he pulled me into his arms. I’m a bit confused… how come men’s thoughts are so hard to guess too?”