Chapter 44

[Posted: 3 years ago, August 19th]

[Content: Why was it him in first place? What did he do? I kept egging him on to play games, dragging him out to have fun with me, finding things for him to do, so why was he first in the finals again?]

[Posted: 3 years ago, October 9th]

[Content: He got resources again? That magazine had so many competitors, and he doesn’t even have any backing. I’ve never even met his parents. Why could he get the resources? Just because of his face? Impossible! He must have made some kind of deal.]

[Posted: 3 years ago, November 28th]

[Content: Why not me, why not me, why not me, why not me? I tried imitating him, copying his fashion style, his way of speaking. Why was it him who got chosen between us? Should I be happy for him? I really want to, but I can’t. I’m so jealous of him.]

[Posted: 3 years ago, December 31st]

[Content: Today was New Year’s Eve. I went to great lengths to snag a date with the youngest son of X Group’s president. He was very enthusiastic during our chat. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind dating him—we’re both trying to break into entertainment, and in this circle, relationships are just transactions anyway. But I’m really pissed right now because this dumb rich kid actually asked me for his contact info? He promised to hook me up with an ad resource if I gave it to him. Seriously? Is one contact worth trading for an ad resource?!]

[Posted: 2 years ago, June 24th]

[Content: Where the hell does he get these resources? Why does he gain fans so fast? Why did the drama he starred in blow up? What’s wrong with me? I followed his lead on scripts, on variety shows, on magazines—we got the exact same ones, so why is he the only one who breaks out?]

[Posted: 2 years ago, October 31st]

[Content: He keeps saying I’m not suited for it. He keeps saying I have another path to take. I don’t want to believe him. He’s better than me now—better grades, higher popularity, more fans. Everything he says must be right. But why is he allowed to say I’m wrong? Why can he do it, but I can’t?]

[Posted: 2 years ago, November 15th]

[Content: Lately, he doesn’t know what got into him, but he kept telling me to take care of my body. I heard a colleague from his company got sick from selling their body. I don’t know what to say. I… have no way back a long time ago… To hook up with those people, besides my age and my body, I… don’t have any other chips. I’ve given so much, and I’m still not as good as him. But who knows if he’s made any deals himself?]

Yu Xi scrolled through each post one by one without a word.

The account had previously consisted of nameless, complaint-style rants, but in the past year, it seemed like the poster had stopped holding back online entirely.

[Content: Yu Xi’s been slept with by everyone. Otherwise, where do you think his resources come from? Resource swaps, bet-on agreements—you know, every bit of traffic has a big shot behind it.]

[Content: Yu Xi’s been cozying up to the young master of Y Group. All his recent endorsements were brokered by that Y kid. Heard they play pretty wild in private—like, he’s served up on the table as a human platter, with food placed right on his body. Can’t say too much, but you get it, right?]

[Content: What turntable? That’s weak sauce! Heard he’s even gonna get fake glands installed to become an artificial Omega. Some big shots are into that.]

[Content: …]

Yu Xi’s fingers gripped tighter and tighter. Every word, every sentence pierced his chest like an ice pick. He felt his throat and nostrils frozen solid, breathing labored, each breath carrying a bone-chilling cold.

He could never have imagined that Ji Ruiou, who was always so carefree around him, happy over the tiniest things and easily satisfied, harbored such dark, twisted thoughts out of his sight.

Yu Xi had never understood why Ji Ruiou changed overnight.

No, Ji Ruiou had never changed.

Yu Xi had simply never known the real him.

A few days before the account info was revealed, it had posted updates too.

[Content: Why, why does he have to steal my things again? I really can’t hold back anymore. I can’t keep pretending.]

[Content: Why does he act all high and mighty giving me advice? Why use “helping me” to humiliate me? Why do I have to pretend to be your friend? You’re not clean anymore— you’ve been slept with by so many people, you’re a public bus. You think I don’t know? Instead of pretending to be all selfless teaching me, why not just introduce me to a sugar daddy? That’d be faster! You just don’t want me doing better than you. You’re scared I’ll surpass you!]

Yu Xi turned off the screen.

A rustling sound came from behind Yi Chen’s ear. Yu Xi burrowed into his sleeping bag, tossing and turning several times, but the bag was too uncomfortable. He grew frustrated and irritable, soon crawling out and shaking Yi Chen awake. “Wanna go for a run?”

Yi Chen didn’t ask what was wrong. He didn’t refuse. “Let’s go.”

They were on a rainforest hike, after all, so everyone had brought workout gear. There was a developed area near the camp where tourists could roam freely. After a day of filming, everyone was resting, so the spot was empty. Yu Xi and Yi Chen ended up with some alone time.

The rainforest was far from the city, the air cool and fresh.

Running was great for venting when in a bad mood. Yi Chen was the perfect companion—he didn’t pry or ask any questions Yu Xi didn’t want to answer. He just quietly stayed by his side.

Having someone there, even if they said nothing, kept the loneliness at bay.

Yu Xi didn’t know how long he ran. He hadn’t brought his phone or watch. He kept going until his legs wouldn’t lift anymore, until his throat burned dry, before slowly coming to a stop.

Yi Chen handed him a bottle of water.

“Don’t drink too fast.” Yi Chen twisted off the cap as he warned.

Yu Xi took a long time to catch his breath.

He’d run too hard, too fast—his calves ached faintly. He plopped down right on the grass.

No city lights, no smog—the rainforest stars were crystal clear.

Yu Xi’s breathing still hadn’t evened out; his chest heaved dramatically.

He’d met all kinds of people and been through all sorts of things.

Yu Xi hadn’t been free of betrayals these years.

He just hadn’t known Ji Ruiou hated him that much.

Having a close friend’s true face ripped off right in front of him—that shock, daze, confusion, anger—all those emotions crammed his brain full.

Yu Xi stayed quiet for just a moment before irritation surged again. He wanted to yank up handfuls of grass to vent, but no, the grass was innocent. He wanted to punch the tree behind him, but no, that’d hurt his hand. Getting hurt in anger was stupid. But this wasn’t allowed, that wasn’t either—his pent-up rage had nowhere to go, making him even more pissed.

Yi Chen handed him a Squishy Toy.

A pink pancake face, soft and squishy, sealed in a clear bag.

Yu Xi kneaded the pink pancake face viciously. “How do you have everything?”

“Saw you were in a bad mood. Thought it might help.”

The Squishy Toy had great bounce-back. The pancake face slowly reformed. Yu Xi watched the whole process silently, still irritated, a lump of air stuck in his chest with nowhere to release.

Then, he was pulled into an embrace.

They’d both just run, bodies steaming with heat. Yi Chen’s scorching arm wrapped around the back of his neck. “Be good. If you’re in a bad mood, I’ll figure out how to cheer you up. Don’t bottle it up, okay?”

Yu Xi didn’t struggle.

“Whoever pissed you off, your backer will make them pay.”

“I don’t have a backer,” Yu Xi leaned on Yi Chen’s shoulder, perfectly obedient.

“Me.” Yi Chen laughed.

Yu Xi: “Have some shame?”

Yi Chen: “Can do without.”

“But I want it.” Yu Xi’s actions were obedient, his mouth stubborn. “You have no standing to help me anyway. We’re rivals.”

“How no standing? We’re the kind where you wore a little skirt, sat on my lap, hugged my waist—did everything but the last step.”

“Fuck, what bullshit.” Yu Xi got goosebumps all over and shoved Yi Chen away. He was about to retort when he crashed into Yi Chen’s smiling eyes. His irritation-clogged thoughts derailed for a second.

He remembered stumbling on a CP video. Someone had clipped all the looks Yi Chen gave him.

Indulgent, affectionate, eyes bright—like looking at the stars.

—That was how the fans summed it up.

What had he replied back then?

[Zhen Bu Chi Yumi: What stars? He’s looking at his daddy.]

Fuck.

Yu Xi actually laughed at his own memory.

That laugh was like a release valve—the pent-up frustration flooded out in an instant. Beside him, Yi Chen lay on the grass and stretched out a hand. “Lie here.”

Yu Xi pillowed his head on Yi Chen’s arm.

The night sky glittered like scattered diamonds. A cool breeze carried starlight. Familiar warmth lay beside him. After the run, his muscles fully relaxed the moment he lay down—anger and frustration suddenly seemed utterly pointless.

Ding. Yi Chen’s watch beeped.

Yu Xi hadn’t brought his phone. Luo Qin had called endlessly with no answer, so he messaged Yi Chen instead. Yi Chen hadn’t brought his phone either; the message synced to his Bracelet.

Luo Qin’s long voice message played: “Hey, why no answer?”

“Yu Xi’s gland test results are back. He’s getting closer to Omega. Might have some reactions soon—fever, delirium, that sort of thing. In the city, I’d not worry, but are you guys in the rainforest these days? Take good care of Yu Xi. When you get back, full checkup, then hospitalization. I need to observe for a day.”

Luo Qin’s second voice message synced too: “Even if he does get a fever, it should be fine. It’s from Secondary Differentiation. Best not to medicate—I worry about side effects. Just give him a Temporary Mark then.”