Chapter 11: The First Day in Prison

Which one of us is actually doing time here?

It was only after I was escorted to Thebes that I learned Thebes Prison referred to an entire planet.

As for how to get out of prison, well, I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.

The Star Pirate Contestant said, “Sometimes I really wonder what kind of environment you grew up in.”

Do you Zerg also go around psychoanalyzing people’s childhoods?

But this had nothing to do with my upbringing. My confidence came from my identity!

As the protagonist of a Zerg novel, there was no way I’d spend my whole life locked up in prison. There’s always a way out!

My plan: I would comfort the female insects and reform the male ones, unite every unyielding soul under this roof, wait for the right moment, and stage a prison break. During the escape, each insect would play to their strengths, we’d fight our way through obstacle after obstacle, and in the end we’d all lie down together beneath a free sky.

Before entering, the prison guard fitted the Star Pirate Contestant with a restraint collar.

He seemed to find it uncomfortable. With one hand, he tugged at the dark collar, a slightly impatient expression flickering across his face.

Worried he might accidentally trigger a disciplinary shock, I watched without daring to blink.

The next second, my eyes met the Star Pirate Contestant’s.

He gave a little laugh, as if he’d discovered something amusing. The impatience vanished from his face, and his elegant fingers began idly flicking at his collar, one tap at a time.

I’m telling you, that collar was leaking electricity!

The Star Pirate Contestant was fine. I was the one getting tingles.

Apparently, Payne hadn’t mentioned there’d be a second male insect when he pulled his strings.

The prison guard looked at the Star Pirate Contestant, then at me. “Are you a female insect or a male insect?”

Can blind insects become prison guards now?

Under the blind insect’s guidance, the Star Pirate Contestant and I headed toward the cell block.

I said, aggrieved, “Do I really not look like a male insect?”

Here and at the base alike, no insect treated me like a male insect!

Where were the plotlines where the whole world bent over backward to get close to me and pamper me?!

Perhaps to comfort me, the Star Pirate Contestant’s voice was much gentler than usual. “You’re just very restrained. You manage your pheromones well.”

I felt a little guilty.

It wasn’t good management. I honestly didn’t know how to release pheromones in the first place.

“As for the rest…” The Star Pirate Contestant’s expression grew complicated. “Do you feel there haven’t been enough female insects making advances on you at the base?”

I shot him a resentful look. What female insects have been making advances on me?

The Star Pirate Contestant arched a brow. “If I recall, one of them volunteered that his cooking was excellent.”

I saw right through it. “He just wanted a transfer to the kitchen, right?”

So the Zerg have this kind of slacker too!

The Star Pirate Contestant’s tone turned odd. “Female insects at the gym are always offering to help you train.”

I didn’t get it. “I know my own body. Why would I need someone else’s coaching?”

The Star Pirate Contestant went full passive-aggressive. “And what about the one who knocked on your door in the middle of the night?”

I sighed wearily. “He turned out to be an undercover agent sent by a rival Star Pirate Crew.”

Then it hit me. “Wait. How do you know all of this?!”

The Star Pirate Contestant sounded perfectly justified, though there was a hint of discomfort underneath. “As the Planetary Security Officer, it’s only natural that I keep tabs on your safety.”

Oh.

Since when did that position even exist?

We were escorted to where we’d be held.

To the left was the male insects’ quarters. To the right, the female insects’.

On the left: clean, bright glass doors. On the right: grim, cold iron bars.

The sign on the left was pink: Welcome Home.

The sign on the right was a warning: This Door Is Electrified.

The guard escorting me didn’t simply open the glass door. Instead, he ran through a whole series of complicated identity verifications.

Then he announced to those inside, “Prison Guard No. 3380 is entering to escort a newly arrived male insect to his quarters. All male insects, please do not be alarmed.”

Huh?

Isn’t this supposed to be your territory?

Why does a guard need to announce himself before coming in?

I asked, “Aren’t the insects inside prisoners?”

The guard said, “Yes. Which is why they’re addressed as male insects, and not as Male Insect Lord.”

So the world did favor male insects. Just, you know, inside a prison.

I didn’t even dare imagine how good male insects must have it on the outside.

The glass door slid open without a sound, revealing a spacious, airy area that resembled a hotel lobby. A faint, pleasant fragrance drifted through the air, accompanied by soft music.

Ha. If someone didn’t know better, they’d think I was the one living it up while Thebes was the prison.

Some movement came from behind a door with a carved nameplate, and it opened.

A chestnut-haired male insect with curls, about five-foot-seven, poked his head out of his room, looking shifty. Definitely the cute type.

The moment his eyes met mine, he panicked and shut the door again.

The guard led me into my quarters.

A soft, comfortable two-meter bed. Brand-new minimalist appliances. A luxurious, exquisitely crafted bathtub.

Beyond the floor-to-ceiling window lay a tastefully arranged little garden.

The guard explained, “It is prison, after all, so the amenities are limited. The small garden is shared by several male insects. Your room has cleaning robots, but if you feel they don’t clean thoroughly enough, you may book a guard to do it one day in advance. Meal orders also need to be confirmed a day ahead. Premium ingredients aren’t always in stock at the planetary warehouse, so certain requests may not be possible.”

With that, the guard left. He didn’t even lock the door!

This prison was giving me way too much freedom. Somewhat at a loss, I wandered out to the main hall and stared at that glass door.

So this is what losing your freedom feels like?

The next second, Kawaii came strolling in, chatting away with a sour-faced yellow-haired male insect.

They didn’t even lock the main gate?!

What is the point of that door, then?!

“Those are to keep the female insects from coming in without our permission,” Kawaii said.

Then, ever so considerately, he comforted me. “It’s hard to get used to, right? I felt the same when I first arrived. So cramped. I kept thinking, do insects actually live like this? But you get used to it after a while. Honestly, it’s comfier in here than out there. Don’t you think?”

With that, Kawaii glanced at the sour-faced yellow-hair beside him. The yellow-haired insect scoffed. “‘Comfier than outside.’ Only you could say that with a straight face.”

“Then why don’t you work harder and get your sentence reduced!” Kawaii shot back.

“I love living in prison. What’s it to you?”

The two of them bickered like elementary schoolers for a while, then turned around and enthusiastically resumed playing tour guide for me. “Anyway, it’s pretty free and easy around here. But you leave the female insect in 305 alone, you hear me? That’s my wife!”

Huh? You two lovebirds are doing time together?

Are you some kind of crime-fighting duo?

The yellow-haired insect said, “Take my advice and remember what he just said. He got locked up for the female insect in 305. When he goes off, even I can’t hold him back.”

Ooh, do tell?

And so Kawaii told me a story of pure romance: a female insect madly in love with him resisted a second-generation-official male insect who’d tried to force himself on the female insect, leaving the official’s son injured and landing the female in prison. Then the cute male took revenge on the official’s son for his beloved and got locked up right alongside his wife.

The yellow-haired insect added, “Honestly, male insects fighting each other doesn’t usually end in a prison sentence. It’s just that this guy didn’t know his own strength and crippled the other one’s reproductive organ. Pheromones are in the blood too, but for a male insect, that part still matters quite a lot. Plus, he’s just an ordinary commoner male insect with mediocre rankings, so in he came.”

Kawaii stayed cheerful about it. “Silver linings! At least Vic and I don’t have to be apart.”

Pen. Notebook. Write it down:

For Zerg couples with nowhere else to turn, prison is always an option.