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Chapter 53: “The Person I Like Is You, Baby.” Part 1


Shen Ju walked over to Guan Mulin’s side and plopped down heavily on his butt.

He immediately leaned against Guan Mulin. “I want to drink.”

“Go ahead.”

Guan Mulin handed Shen Ju a glass of alcohol and raised his own. “I’m drinking too.”

Shen Ju looked around. “Where’s Pei Haochuan?”

Guan Mulin sneered. “Who knows.”

“Right, didn’t Han Chengfeng say Pei-ge was here too?”

“…No idea. Haven’t seen him.”

The two exchanged a glance and fell silent together.

Whatever. No more talking.

Drink!

With a clink, they properly toasted like pros.

Shen Ju took a sip and wrinkled his nose. “Fruit wine?”

Guan Mulin: “What else did you think it was?”

“Then what’s yours?”

“…A special cocktail mix.”

“Low alcohol content, right?”

“Not high.”

Shen Ju: “That’s so boring.”

Guan Mulin: “Yeah, kinda is.”

They exchanged another glance. Switch drinks!

So by the time Han Chengfeng and the others came over carrying a bunch of snacks, Shen Ju and Guan Mulin had each downed a glass of vodka mixed with orange juice.

“Holy shit!!”

Han Chengfeng gaped in shock. “You two are going hard right off the bat?!”

Shen Ju and Guan Mulin leaned against each other, cheeks flushed, each clutching another glass of vodka mixed with soda water.

Ke Sheng and Han Chengfeng exchanged a look, both wanting to snatch the glasses from Shen Ju and Guan Mulin’s hands.

Smack! Shen Ju slapped Han Chengfeng’s hand away and yelled urgently, “Thieves!”

Han Chengfeng’s eyes turned red in an instant.

Shen Ju’s strength was insane!! His hand!!

Those pig-trotter hands—how were they trained? One hit from Shen Ju and you’re done!

On the other side, Guan Mulin dodged Ke Sheng and glared at him. “What the hell?”

Ke Sheng: “…You two are something else. You haven’t even eaten dinner, and you’re chugging this much?”

Shen Ju and Guan Mulin both let out a synchronized hiccup.

“What’s the big deal!”

Shen Ju wrinkled his nose and huffed. “I can drink like a champ…”

Guan Mulin nodded. “Yeah! We’re super drinkers!”

Shen Ju: “Wheee! Cheers!”

Guan Mulin: “Wheee! Cheers!”

Han Chengfeng and Ke Sheng: “…”

Vodka mixed with orange juice and soda water, and you call yourselves super drinkers?!

If you’re so tough, drink it straight!

They got careless for a second, and the two managed to gulp down two more glasses.

Unbelievable.

Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan walked over together. The moment they arrived, both frowned.

“What’s going on?”

The two stood on either side, eyeing Shen Ju and Guan Mulin, who were clearly showing signs of being tipsy.

Pei Yan reached down and touched Shen Ju’s face—hot to the touch. Obviously buzzed. “Why’d you drink so much?”

Pei Haochuan glanced down at Guan Mulin, frowning. “Even if you wanna drink, you don’t have to go this hard, right?”

Guan Mulin tsked and drawled, “None of your… business!”

Shen Ju nodded and chimed in, “Yeah, butt out!”

Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan: “…”

“More drinks!”

Shen Ju smacked his lips and turned his empty glass upside down into his mouth. “Oh no, it’s gone.”

Guan Mulin: “No worries, there’s more on the table!”

“Drink!”

“Drink!”

Both reached for the glasses on the table.

Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan quickly reached out to stop them.

Pei Haochuan warned, “That’s enough, Guan Mulin.”

Pei Yan frowned too, pulling Shen Ju back. “Drinking on an empty stomach? Doesn’t your tummy hurt?”

Shen Ju: “I don’t want food! I want booze!”

Guan Mulin: “Booze!”

“…”

Seeing Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan looking pained, Ke Sheng suggested, “How about we take them back to their room first and get some hangover soup?”

Han Chengfeng nodded. “Yeah, if they stay here, I don’t think they’ll stop drinking.”

Pei Yan nodded. “Sounds good. Order the hangover soup and have it sent straight to the room. We’ll take them back.”

“Got it.”

On the other side, Pei Haochuan reached out to pull Guan Mulin up.

This poked the hornet’s nest.

Both started whining and clinging to each other.

“Don’t separate us!”

“Little bro…”

“Big bro!”

The other four in the room: “…”

Enough already.

Enough!

They finally dragged the two back to the room, only for Shen Ju and Guan Mulin to shove Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan out, blocking the door.

“Go away, go away.”

“Shoo, shoo.”

One on each side of the doorway.

“No Peis or dogs allowed!”

Guan Mulin glared at Pei Haochuan.

Shen Ju rested his chin on Guan Mulin’s shoulder. “Mm-hmm!”

Pei Yan and Pei Haochuan nearly laughed in frustration.

Pei Yan looked at Shen Ju. “Chirp chirp, remember to drink your hangover soup.”

Fine. They’d sort this out once the alcohol wore off.

Pei Haochuan tsked. “Hangover soup’s coming soon. Open the door for it, got it?”

Their answer was a loud bang

The door slammed shut.

Great. Just great.

The two ground their teeth, exchanged a look full of irritation, and stormed off.

Inside the room.

Shen Ju and Guan Mulin staggered crookedly to the bed and both flopped onto it, letting out hiccups.

But they did remember the hangover soup was coming.

It’s a drink anyway. Drink up!

Soon, there was a knock at the door.

Hangover soup had arrived.

One bowl each.

Too little.

Shen Ju and Guan Mulin stood in the doorway and chugged the hangover soup.

“Guests, if you’re done, can I have the bowls back…”

Bang!

The door slammed shut again.

“…”

Shen Ju and Guan Mulin carried the bowls back inside, set the empty ones on the table with a clunk, smacked their lips, and thought, This hangover soup sucks. Not tasty at all.

Not just bad—it felt kinda gross going down.

They tried to tough it out at first.

But soon it got worse, a burning heat spreading through their bodies.

And then…

996 suddenly blared: 【Host! Detecting harmful substances in your body! What is this? Why are you burning up?!】

As it spoke, 996 zapped Shen Ju.

With extra juice.

Shen Ju: “…”

Half the drunken haze cleared.

But the weird sensations in his body grew stronger.

Guan Mulin too.

No need to ask—just look at him.

Cheeks flushed, body hunched like he was enduring something.

Shen Ju went over and nudged Guan Mulin.

Guan Mulin let out a low groan, brows furrowed tight. He instinctively grabbed Shen Ju’s hand, rubbing it against his face, with a tendency to press along the arm.

The moment Guan Mulin touched him, Shen Ju shuddered.

His breathing quickened too.

996 had no choice but to zap Shen Ju again.

【Host, analysis complete. It’s that drug—super potent, fast-acting. Gotta relieve it ASAP!】

【Guan Mulin’s probably dosed too…】

996 got louder: 【I knew it! I knew it! Classic protagonist gong-shou trope: drug-induced chaos or drunken hookup. Had to happen! Super clichéd, but it works. I even thought about suggesting you try it… Cough, that was ages ago. Just a secret thought of mine!】

Shen Ju’s head buzzed.

He wanted 996 to shut up, wanted to open the door and call for help.

But as he reached the door…

“You sure they drank both bowls?”

“Positive. I watched them. Just couldn’t get the bowls back. If they test for drug residue…”

“Don’t worry. We’ll grab the bowls when we go in.”

Shen Ju frowned. That voice sounds familiar.

He tiptoed up to the door and listened closely…

“Wait a bit longer. Once Guan Shen Ju and Guan Mulin are in bed, ha!”

The voice trembled with barely contained excitement and malice. “Turn on the camera. And get someone to kill the surveillance feed? I’ve paid you guys plenty.”

“Done, but only twenty minutes…”

“Plenty of time.”

“Lucky Han Chengfeng booked out the whole bar. Everyone’s downstairs partying, upstairs is empty—made it easy for me to prep…”

“Right, wait a sec more, then use the spare keycard to open up.”

The voice rambled on.

Like a maniac.

Practically vibrating with sick glee.

But clearly, Shen Ju and Guan Mulin were trapped inside.

Calling for help now would work.

But would Pei Yan, Pei Haochuan, and the others get here in time?

The guys outside might burst in any second.

Guan Mulin was already losing it. Shen Ju felt weak all over, only staying lucid thanks to 996’s zaps.

Shen Ju bit his tongue hard, made a snap decision, retreated, scooped up Guan Mulin, and hauled him to the bathroom. He wrapped Guan Mulin’s hands in a bath towel to keep him from crawling out.

996 popped out and stuck to Guan Mulin.

Zap! Electric current released.

“Clear your head!”

Guan Mulin: “…”

Shen Ju shushed Guan Mulin. In that short time, he was drenched in sweat, body even weaker.

He’d just stepped out when noises came from the door.

“Why’s it so quiet in there?”

“Let’s check…”

996 dove back into Shen Ju and zapped him again.

Shen Ju jolted, seized the momentum, and dashed to the entryway…

Click.

The door opened.

The two outside came face-to-face with Shen Ju.

“…”

Wei Tianxi’s eyes bulged instantly. “How are you…”

Before he finished, Shen Ju raised his hand and chopped at Wei Tianxi’s neck.

… He didn’t really know how.

But his brute strength did the trick… Wei Tianxi mercifully passed out.

The guy behind Wei Tianxi saw things go south and spun to flee.

Bang!

Shen Ju kicked out, slamming him against the door.

996 watched in awe: 【Brute force conquers all…】

The next second, thud, Shen Ju collapsed to the floor too, panting like mad, limbs going limp.

【Whoa, host, moving around makes the drug burn off faster!】

【I can feel it…】


Oh No! My Role-Playing Mission Got Spoiled!

Oh No! My Role-Playing Mission Got Spoiled!

糟糕!扮演任务被剧透了!
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Shen Ju had to play the role of the universally hated real young master from an old-school trope.

System: You're despicable, vain, you've done every rotten deed, and your heart is venomous. So his birth parents grew sick of him, his big brother despised him, he served as the dark foil to the perfect fake young master, and in the end, everyone saw through his true colors, leaving him with a miserable fate...

System: "Baby, you can do it, right!" For the rewards after completing the mission, Shen Ju nodded vigorously. "I can! Leave it to me!" But what neither the System nor Shen Ju knew was that due to a program glitch, their encrypted chat channel had quietly added in the Guan Family members—and one unlucky passerby.

System: "You think your birth parents owe you, so you often hit them up for massive sums." Shen Ju nodded in agreement, then stormed off aggressively to demand money.

He stuck out his hand and flashed a "1" toward the person across from him.

Guan Family parents: **One million? Shen Ju: "1... 1k!" Guan Family parents: ...*They'd never heard such an obscure term in their lives. System: "You think all the good stuff in your big brother's hands should be yours, so you keep reaching out for it." Shen Ju hummed in assent, then turned to demand the brand-new watch his big brother had just bought.

The Guan Family big brother exuded an imposing gravity that kept ordinary people from daring to act out in front of him.

Shen Ju stared at that stern face, working up his courage for ages. "...Ahem." Guan Family big brother: "..." *Was he really that terrifying? System: "You're jealous of the fake young master and always try to sabotage his relationship with the Protagonist Gong!" Shen Ju thumped his chest. Easy peasy. He'd trail after the two like a clingy tag-along from time to time, or wedge himself in as a third wheel at every opportunity—like a sneaky cat-dog hybrid, furtively eyeing them with grabby hands.

Fake young master: "…………" He slapped the Protagonist Gong's shoulder. "Let's pick a fight." Protagonist Gong: "Huh......"

System: "Pretend to get drunk and seduce this aloof beauty, make him look down on you!"

The aloof beauty in question: "…………"

Shen Ju chug-chug-chugged a whole bottle of booze, then headbutted the floor—smacking his forehead right into the aloof beauty's chest. He stared at the button on the other's collar, slurring through his drunken haze as he tried to lay on the charm:

"You... you can call me by my nickname, y'know." Pei Yan looked down, hooked a finger under Shen Ju's chin, and lifted his gaze straight.

"What's your nickname?" Shen Ju pursed his lips at him...

"Chirp... chirp chirp."

Guan-guan ju jiu—in the river shallows the heron nests; the gentleman seeks the perfect match.

One-sentence blurb: They all know I'm not a good person now!

Theme: See people with your heart, feel the truth with sincerity.

Translator’s Note: The phrase "Guan-guan ju jiu" is a reference to the Classic of Poetry (Shijing), the oldest collection of Chinese poems. The poem describes bird calls (Guan-guan) and is the most famous Chinese metaphor for a gentleman seeking a perfect romantic partner.

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