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Chapter 54 Part 1


Shen Li hadn’t meant to throw shade at Qian Xingzhi.

To the fans and viewers nowadays, Qian Xingzhi came across as mature and steady, a jack-of-all-trades with exceptional abilities. But that wasn’t the full picture.

Take high school sports day, for example.

Shen Li had been cornered by Old Ban and forced to sign up for the three-thousand-meter run. He’d just jogged it out casually.

When Qian Xingzhi saw him enter, he’d eagerly signed up too.

After lapping Shen Li by a full circuit, the guy got cocky, decided to toss out a mocking greeting—and promptly twisted his ankle.

Shen Li still took first.

No rest for the winner, though. He’d ended up carrying Qian Xingzhi to the hospital for X-rays.

And that was just one example. There was no need to get into the rest.

Qian Xingzhi always had this thing about points that touched on male pride—he loved saving face and pushing too hard, convinced he was hot stuff.

Since the program group had said the challenges related to the guests’ professions or expertise, Shen Li figured that if none of the civilians were pro athletes, this five-star C challenge would probably resemble the physical training he’d done back in the day.

Long-distance runs, sprints, interval training.

Box jumps, high flips, agility ladders…

Forget Qian Xingzhi—even with his leg in decent shape now, Shen Li would struggle compared to his twenty-four- or twenty-five-year-old self.

Not to mention how many male celebs embarrassed themselves in variety show games these days.

Some couldn’t even lift their partners and blamed it on them not dieting enough.

Others had sculpted upper bodies but legs as skinny as chopsticks, thinner than bamboo poles.

Of course, Shen Li knew Qian Xingzhi wasn’t that bad off.

Still, it had been years since they’d seen each other, and time waited for no man. This was just a friendly heads-up, so Qian wouldn’t lift a rock only to drop it on his own feet.

But when he spoke plainly…

Qian Xingzhi never liked hearing it.

Sure enough.

The moment Shen Li finished speaking, Qian Xingzhi’s brows snapped together, his expression turning aloof and icy.

In a light voice, he asked, “What was your best time from that special training ten years ago?”

Shen Li blinked, his own brows furrowing.

Then Qian Xingzhi tossed out another airy line:

“Recall it yourself, Officer Shen.”

Before Shen Li could respond, Qian Xingzhi was already striding toward the application desk.

On the way, he smoothly scooped up Lin Xu, who had been heading toward Shen Li to ask what to sign up for. Lin Xu got hijacked mid-stride, looking utterly baffled.

Shen Li: …

Shen Li truly couldn’t fathom where Qian Xingzhi got his confidence.

Outsiders might see Qian Xingzhi as level-headed, never acting on impulse. But Shen Li knew better—the man was impulsive in a lot of things, far less calculating than he seemed.

That said, on second thought, the sturdy workers in this little cabin weren’t exactly plentiful. For high-difficulty physical tasks, only Lin Xu and Qian Xingzhi seemed remotely qualified.

【What? What did they just talk about? Did they hit a total impasse? I thought they’d team up for the same one. Are they splitting now?】

【Haha, we’re doomed. Iceberg meets iceberg—time to call it a night.】

【Qian Xingzhi, where’s that energy from a couple days ago? Couldn’t get in and missed your wife, got in and now fighting with her. Can’t stand you!!】

【Teacher, can you stop dissing our Zi Han already?】

【Qian Mou: Lovesick—not a crime!~ Heartless—not free!~ For you—gut-wrenching agony! What’s the point!!!~~~】

【Knock knock! Look at YZQ’s screen!!!】

On the screen in the middle of the living room, Shen Li walked over slowly and perched on the edge of the sofa. He sat silently, listening to Yang Zhiqi make excuses for a bit while exchanging a glance with Yao Shuang.

Yao Shuang’s smile cut like a knife as she shot Yang Zhiqi a vicious glare. She didn’t care that the cameras caught it, shaking her head with faint disdain.

Finally, as Yang Zhiqi boasted about his “mental math” and “quick calculations,” Shen Li cut in.

His voice sounded mild, without a hint of aggression. “So, you want to pick D?”

Yang Zhiqi hadn’t expected such a direct question.

“Well, actually, me—I can do C or D either way. Let the girls and the disabled folks pick first. If the other projects don’t have enough people…”

Shen Li ignored the blunt label and interrupted. “I’m picking D. Question is, do you dare to?”

His tone firmed up a notch.

Yang Zhiqi paused, then scoffed and backpedaled with a grin. “If you’re picking it, what do I have to fear? Let’s sign up, bro. We’ll have a rematch this time.”

Truth be told, Yang Zhiqi didn’t care which one he chose. He just wanted to stand tall for once.

In the past few days’ backlash, among the civilians, he’d taken the most heat—but all the buzz went to Shen Li. Sure, Shen Li had that “Qian Xingzhi’s ex” boost, but still, couldn’t some of that attention spill over while they trashed him?

Even hate followers would do.

Yet Li Weiwei had gained more fans than him. He was starting to crack.

Bottom line, he’d joined this show for the traffic.

Now he got it: Where Shen Li and Qian Xingzhi went, the views followed. He’d dragged this out just to see where they’d land—and in today’s segment, he needed to latch onto one.

Shen Li didn’t budge, though.

His long fingers spun the pen deftly, scribbling a few words on the form. Then he generously slid it over to Yang Zhiqi. In a flat voice, he said, “While you’re at it, hand in mine too—my leg’s no good. Thanks.”

Yang Zhiqi: ?

Shen Li’s clear voice chuckled softly. “Deadline’s still got ten minutes or so. Should make it, right?”

Shen Li was referencing the first day, when Yang Zhiqi had snatched his form, stared at it forever, and delayed the submission.

The barrage and Netizen Discussion Zone had been boiling since Shen Li approached the sofa.

Now it was flying:

【Cat Cat holds grudges so well. Good cat!】

【Shen Li doesn’t even flinch when people mention his leg. There’s this total self-assurance about him [tears] Envious and heartbreaking [sobbing] Love people with that inner strength [sobbing]】

【His emotions are rock-solid too. Think about it—from the start of the show, no matter who provokes him, he’s always steady.】

【With a wife like Shen Li, Qian Xingzhi doesn’t rush home [shattered] And the divorce reason was “too little time together” [shattered]】

【Screw Qian for a sec—first roast this Yang guy. He’s insufferable.】

【But real talk, Yang Zhiqi’s annoying, but he’s got brains. Self-taught through college entrance exams, master’s and PhD from a 211 uni. Even if it’s business admin, it’s not as watered-down as Lin Xu’s cushy grad degree.】

【So what? You think Shen Li can’t match him?】

【Not trying to dunk on Shen Li, but look at what he wrote on that form lol】

On the application form:

【Applicant: Shen Li】

【Reason: Money】

【Personal Strengths: None】

Yang Zhiqi clutched Shen Li’s brutally concise form and was about to say something when someone plucked it from his hand.

He looked up. It was Qian Xingzhi.

“I’ll take his.”

“?”

Yang Zhiqi grinned crookedly. “Hey, Mr. Qian, mind handing mine in too while you’re at it?”

But Qian Xingzhi was laser-focused, eyes down on Shen Li’s form. His gaze lingered on one line, and the corner of his mouth twitched in the faintest hint of a smile. He was so absorbed, he didn’t register the words at all…

He turned and walked off without a backward glance.

Yao Shuang watched Qian Xingzhi’s retreating back and murmured to Shen Li, “Tsk tsk tsk. That ‘money’ in your reason—is it this ‘money,’ or that ‘money’?”

Shen Li’s fine, cool brows lowered as he dropped his voice. “…Overthinking it. Just the normal kind.”

“Oh, got it~” Yao Shuang scooped up her own form. “Then I’d better hurry and tell your ex-husband not to get the wrong idea.”

Shen Li: ?

The words had barely left Yao Shuang’s mouth before she clacked away in her high heels toward the desk. Spotting Qian Xingzhi glance back, she tilted her head. Her voice carried just far enough for Shen Li to catch:

“Li Bro says the ‘money’ is your kind of ‘money’—no thanks needed. Go give him a hug.”

Qian Xingzhi: ?

Shen Li: …

Viewers: ?!?

【Sister Yao gets it on a corporate level】

Qian Xingzhi glanced toward Shen Li, only to see him already looking away. A faint pink tinged his earlobes—barely there. Now he was turned back, helping Little Zhao and the others figure out the best project.

Qian Xingzhi’s face was frosty. He didn’t go over to interrupt.

Not until the signup deadline ended. Shen Li boarded the van with the production crew, heading to the D venue.

Qian Xingzhi and Lin Xu’s van was right next to theirs, and the destinations seemed close. But the two didn’t exchange another word.

Shen Li didn’t mind.

Back when they fought, the longest stretch without talking had been three months—enough to end a normal relationship by ghosting standards. Marriage was different; it wasn’t decided by silence alone.

Besides, this wasn’t a fight. It was more like contractual detachment.

Exes in the trial period were like ambiguous flings—whoever broke the ice first became the reactive one for ages after.

Shen Li didn’t mind handing Qian Xingzhi the reins. But after mulling it, he saw no point in charging over for a hug just because of Yao Shuang’s joke.

It wasn’t kids playing house. Hell, even kids these days played harder at love and hate. For adults like him and Qian Xingzhi, the real taboo was sending the wrong signal at the wrong time.

So Shen Li closed his eyes in the van, resting during the short ride. Yao Shuang diligently fished for her hidden task. Yang Zhiqi chimed in a few times, then launched into a speech—only for Yao Shuang to cut him off:

“That’s enough.”

Yang Zhiqi: “…I wasn’t done?”

Yao Shuang: “I pay to hear the rest. Thirty seconds for a grand to Shen Li. Deal?”

Yang Zhiqi: ?

“Virtual cash is worthless to me—I’m out tomorrow. But Shen Li’s stuck listening. Transfer him two grand a minute direct.”


Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

咸鱼摆烂复婚综艺[娱乐圈]
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Oh, I went to LA last year for my EMBA. The sea breeze there was just divine. What about you?"

Shen Li: "Me? I got nine years of compulsory education back in China."

Female Lead No. 1: "Haha, you're hilarious. This little cake is amazing—the subtle milk flavor hits your mouth, your nose, even your pelvis and the roof of your mouth... Want to try a piece?"

Shen Li: "Nah, doesn't fill you up. You done with that potato?"

Male Supporting Lead No. 3: "What do you do for work?"

Shen Li: "Just your average office drone on a fixed salary."

Female Supporting Lead No. 4: "You're so gorgeous—ever done escort work?"

Shen Li: "Yeah, full-face stuff, like 99% of it."

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Mind if I ask something I probably shouldn't—where's your most sensitive spot?"

Shen Li shot him a cold side-eye, his pretty eyes flat with disdain. "Backdoor, I guess. You got nothing else to ask?"

The remarriage reality show *Broke Defense? Ex-Husband Bro* brings a bold new format like nothing before.

【Swap-and-Remarry Cabin】

Eight civilian guests:

From afar, they seem like shining stars from every elite profession—radiant, charismatic.

Up close, they're scheming mushrooms, chasing fame and fortune while playing dumb.

Remarry if you can remarry. Swap partners if you can swap.

Games wrap up, and it's a chaotic stew—who's really falling for whom?

The unique twist? Two of the civilians in the cabin are exes of guests in the live commentary booth—

Later in the show, viewers vote. Guess who Ex-Husband Bro is, and he gets a shot to enter the cabin and win back his ex!

Shen Li hadn't wanted to come at first.

No point.

Qian Xingzhi had pulled strings to get him in, insisting he join.

But wasn't this show just like hindsight being 20/20? You crash the car into the wall before remembering to swerve, buy the stock after it moons, flick the snot only when it hits your lips?

Divorced already—now they panic?

He was the first to check into the Swap-and-Remarry Cabin, a.k.a. Male Lead No. 1.

His profile was the weakest among all the guests. Unlike the rich kids tossing around fluent English and waxing poetic about cake flavors resonating in their noses and pelvises, he was just one of the masses—stuck on a dead-end salary, with a limp to boot. Bluntly put, a cripple.

He figured showing up would get him nowhere—no one would pick him, and there was zero chance of reconciling with Qian Xingzhi.

Shen Li used to be a cop.

He'd served in SWAT, in homicide, earned a second-class merit award. One leg got busted, until he couldn't run anymore. They sidelined him to a desk job. Unable to let go of the remote mountain village that had once saved his life, he retired to help build it up.

Shen Li wasn't here to remarry or even date.

He just wanted to plug the village elementary school, attract some top teachers, and maybe drum up his anti-scam social media account.

So why not ride Ex-Husband Bro's coattails? Free publicity.

Besides, their breakup...

No sordid drama. Just incompatibility.

Different worlds, both swamped with work, barely seeing each other twice a year.

Even the hottest high school romance cools off eventually, leaving two people from separate universes.

He couldn't give Qian Xingzhi what he needed.

Better to let go early.

These past years, Shen Li didn't know if Qian Xingzhi had found someone new.

He only saw Qian Xingzhi on screens, climbing higher podiums, smiling as he thanked the crew and his family—like he'd embraced the world. But Qian Xingzhi's world no longer needed him.

Whatever.

Shen Li treated the show like just another workday, slacking off without a care.

Influencers really had it easy making bank. Better to milk some cash for village projects—that was practical.

Qian Xingzhi was panicking for real.

What happened to Shen Li's leg? How'd he get hurt? Could it heal?

Why did everyone want to date Shen Li?!

What kind of freaks were these—cracked dates, goblins, and ghouls? You think you deserve him?

That was *his* wife! *His*!

If he'd known it'd come to this, he never would've clung to Shen Li like a pathetic crybaby every day. Shen Li hated lovesick idiots and interruptions at work. All his fault for being immature and clingy.

Now, after seven years divorced, Qian Xingzhi had evolved from lovesick, clingy sex addict top to aloof ice-queen celibate top. Shen Li should like this version, right? QAQ...

Few words.

Stomach-friendly.

Cool and distant.

Shen Li's type.

No, couldn't keep up the act much longer. Vote for him already!

Were the viewers blind? Why not vote?!

Let me in—my wife is Shen Li!

Fine, let him into the cabin first, then he could keep playing aloof ice-queen top. Deal?

Qian Xingzhi paced the commentary booth like a hot dog on a sizzling grill.

Fans: ...So this divorced dude's been faking the aloof ice prince vibe all these years?

Qian Xingzhi (teary-eyed, fragile, shattered, deathly pale): I'm fishing for my wife here, got it?

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