Sitting in Kong Ji’s passenger seat, forehead pressed against the half-lowered window, gazing out, Tong Xilin felt a long-absent sense of dazed confusion. It was around this time last year that he had followed Kong Ji and moved here, passing this very road on the way from the airport. Back then, he’d still harbored a bit of caution towards Kong Ji, like a desperate gambler, the worst-case scenario in his mind being sold off to Myanmar. He’d barely spoken the whole journey. Just like now.
Only, back then, he’d been clutching his tattered schoolbag. Now, he was unencumbered, just a transparent document folder resting on his lap, his exam admission ticket inside.
“Nervous?” Kong Ji stopped the car at a red light, tilting his head to look at the silent Tong Xilin.
“Okay, I guess.” Tong Xilin didn’t feel much. The seatbelt was a bit tight; he lowered his head to adjust it.
The half-semester of intense studying had really made him lose weight. His rapidly lengthening frame had also consumed too many growth resources. As his head dipped down, the clear line of his cervical vertebrae was visible, along with the shoulder blades protruding against his shirt. The early summer night breeze blew in through the car window, ruffling his collar and revealing his sharply defined, hollowed collarbones. Watching his hair being tousled, Kong Ji reached out and gently brushed the ends clinging to the back of his neck.
Tong Xilin’s nape was ticklish. The touch made him jerk his head up abruptly, twisting to meet Kong Ji’s gaze.
“These two days, we’ll eat all your meals at home,” Kong Ji said, biting a cigarette as the light turned green and driving the car forward. “Better than risking an upset stomach eating out.”
Tong Xilin thought to himself, what are the odds of that, getting food poisoning during these exact two days of the College Entrance Exam. He also thought, eating at home, you don’t even cook. But he understood this was Kong Ji’s kindness, so he just nodded and didn’t say much more.
Because during the High School Entrance Exam, Tong Yuzhi had been the same. Tong Yuzhi normally never asked about his grades, nor did he give special instructions before the exam, as if it were just another ordinary final. Their meals those two days were the same as usual—simple two dishes and a soup. It wasn’t until the morning of the exam that he boiled an extra egg for Tong Xilin and said, “Don’t buy snacks outside to eat these two days.”
Thinking of this, he voiced a request: “I want to eat boiled eggs.”
“Mn,” Kong Ji responded. “Anything else?”
“No,” Tong Xilin shook his head.
He hadn’t been back for an entire semester. Following Kong Ji into the apartment again, Tong Xilin looked around. Even though nothing had changed, everything felt slightly unfamiliar. He opened the shoe cabinet; his slippers were still in their original spot. His bedroom was the same, exactly as he’d left it when he moved to the dorm. The books and pens on the desk were untouched. The bedsheets and duvet cover had been changed for fresh ones, though.
Tong Xilin crouched by the bed to smell the pillow. It smelled of sunshine, mixed with the familiar scent of laundry soap. Imagining Kong Ji airing out his blanket and changing the bedding, Tong Xilin crouched there, touching the fabric, feeling an indescribable sensation. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out; it was Zhou Qi, asking if he’d gotten home.
Tong Xilin replied: Back. Zhou Qi didn’t ask further about whether the conflict between uncle and nephew had been resolved, only reminding Tong Xilin: Check the group chat. He meant their class group. After being added by the Class Monitor upon transferring, Tong Xilin had changed his group nickname and never spoken, setting it to mute. Normally, there wasn’t much activity, but now it was buzzing—a bunch of people discussing whether to hold a class dinner after the College Entrance Exam.
Zhou Qi: Going or not? Tong Xilin wasn’t very interested, not being close to his classmates, but seeing Zhou Qi ask, he figured he wanted to go for the fun of it. He asked back: Are you going?
Zhou Qi: The Class Monitor PM’d me asking if I’m going, so I’m asking you first. Zhou Qi: If you don’t go, I won’t reply to him. Just as he said this, the Class Monitor’s message also reached Tong Xilin. Tong Xilin hesitated for a long while, honestly couldn’t think of anything worth gathering for with these semi-familiar classmates, yet didn’t know if he should refuse this goodwill. He pretended not to see it, setting his phone aside for now. He replied to Zhou Qi: Asked me too. We’ll talk after the College Entrance Exam is over.
Kong Ji had gone to pick up the kid after cooking dinner. He’d spent a long time watching Tong Xilin do problems at school, and by the time they got back, the food had gone completely cold. He reheated it and called Tong Xilin out to eat. Tong Xilin had expected noodles again. Seeing the braised spare ribs and scrambled eggs with tomatoes on the table, he was surprised.
“Did you make this, Uncle?” He went over to inspect it. The presentation was extremely mediocre, clearly not restaurant quality.
“Just make do,” Kong Ji said, boiling water to cook the eggs, telling Tong Xilin to wash his hands.
“I thought you couldn’t cook,” Tong Xilin said.
“Tutorials are all over the internet,” Kong Ji pinched the back of his neck.
This meal was eaten in unusual quiet. Usually, they didn’t talk much at the table either, but today the silence felt especially heavy. Kong Ji barely touched his chopsticks. Every time Tong Xilin reached for a dish and looked up, he collided with Kong Ji’s silent gaze. Who is he looking at now? Tong Xilin couldn’t help but wonder. Wondering made him regret coming back; meeting Kong Ji’s eyes disturbed his peace of mind.
“Any plans after the College Entrance Exam?” Towards the end of the meal, Kong Ji lit a cigarette and peeled the eggshells for him.
“I want to find a summer job,” Tong Xilin said quietly, watching his elegant hands. “Save some money for university tuition.”
Kong Ji seemed to strongly dislike hearing him talk about money. The speed of his peeling slowed, and a trace of a scoff touched the corner of his mouth. He didn’t respond to Tong Xilin’s words. Placing the two smooth white eggs on the plate and pushing it towards him, he said, “After the exam, I’ll take you on a trip.”
“There won’t be time after the exam.” Tong Xilin picked up an egg and lowered his eyes. “The class is having a gathering.”
This statement carried obvious resistance and rejection. Kong Ji heard it, raising an eyebrow. “Gathering for two whole months?”
Tong Xilin finished one egg and picked up the other. Matching the faint smirk Kong Ji had shown earlier, he nodded without changing his expression. Kong Ji didn’t ask him further. Fixing his gaze on Tong Xilin, he finished his cigarette, then stood up, crushed the butt in the ashtray, and left Tong Xilin with a final: “We’ll talk after the exam. Get some good rest.”
After tidying up and returning to his room, Tong Xilin sent Zhou Qi a single-word reply: Going.
This year, the weather wasn’t cooperating. The previous half-month had been clear skies. At 6:30 AM on the 7th, Tong Xilin woke to the pattering sound. He pulled open the curtains to look outside. Fine, drizzling rain fell like willow leaves, splashing fuzzy circles of ripples on the ground. Downstairs, someone hurried past holding an umbrella, carrying breakfast, complaining that it was raining on the College Entrance Exam, of all days. Leaning on the windowsill, Tong Xilin closed his eyes for a moment. The rain didn’t affect his mood; it felt refreshing.
A soft knock came twice at his door. He turned his head. Kong Ji pushed the door open and walked in. Standing with him by the window, he placed a hand on his head.
“Do your legs hurt?” he asked Tong Xilin.
Tong Xilin instinctively wanted to dodge again, but seeing the genuine concern in Kong Ji’s eyes, his neck stiffened and he couldn’t move. “No, Uncle.” A raindrop landed on his eyelid; he lowered his head and rubbed his eye.
“You’ve got this, Tong Xilin.” Kong Ji pulled his hand away, holding Tong Xilin’s face to examine the spot he’d rubbed. “Treat it like any regular exam.”
His chin lifted by Kong Ji’s hand, Tong Xilin paused for a moment. Waves of emotion surged through his heart. He nodded.
The rain, intermittent and varying in intensity, continued to fall for two days. Amidst the gentle rustling, Tong Xilin completed paper after paper, carefully filled in his answer sheets, checked his exam number and name. After each exam session, walking out the school gate, he drew another slash mark on the mental countdown in his heart.
The final subject, English, was on the afternoon of the 8th. The rain intensified, beating distinctly on the leaves, mingling with the listening test broadcast from the speakers. A silent restlessness spread through the exam hall. Everyone tried to move as quietly as possible, but someone still let out an irritable sigh. Tong Xilin sat by the window, reading the questions calmly. When the bell rang to signal the end, he had completed a full check of his answer sheet. He put down his pen peacefully, his mind utterly serene.
Kong Ji hadn’t crowded with the other parents at the school gate. His car was parked across the street, himself standing outside it, holding a long black umbrella. Above him, the rain-washed parasol tree was a lush, vivid green. He watched Tong Xilin cross the road and walk towards him, scrutinizing him closely. Watched his chin, just visible below the umbrella; the hem of his shirt clinging damply; his relaxed, easy gait. When Tong Xilin stopped before him and looked up from under his own umbrella, Kong Ji reached out, cradling the back of his head. On the bustling roadside, he bent down and gently touched his forehead to Tong Xilin’s.
Tong Xilin didn’t dodge or avoid it. All around them were parents and students just released from the exam hall. Parents held their children’s shoulders, families huddled tightly under umbrellas, asking about the test, some laughing, some disheartened. In this atmosphere, almost any intimate gesture seemed utterly commonplace.
“Uncle,” he only spoke after Kong Ji released him, uttering the one word.
“Mm?” Kong Ji looked into his eyes.
Tong Xilin took a step forward, under the umbrella, meeting Kong Ji’s gaze head-on, no longer at a loss for words like before whenever their eyes met.
“Who are you looking at?” he asked Kong Ji.
The rain didn’t ease with the end of the College Entrance Exam. The road was bustling and noisy. The sound of rain pelting the treetops and car roofs grew denser, creating a drumming noise. Tong Xilin’s eyes, washed clean in the gloomy rain, were dark and bright. He curved them slightly, offering Kong Ji a faint smile. It held the same arc as the mocking smile Kong Ji had given him that night.
—The bell ending the College Entrance Exam was like a switch. It lifted the entire previous semester’s burden of anxieties and complicated thoughts. Since speaking out hadn’t worked anyway, now, fully relaxed, Tong Xilin decided to stop evading Kong Ji’s ambiguous treatment.
Kong Ji absolutely hadn’t anticipated this question, posed without any preamble. He gazed at Tong Xilin for a moment. He didn’t answer, only asking back, “Still going to the gathering?”
“Mn.” Tong Xilin lowered his head and pulled out his phone. His phone had been buzzing non-stop since he turned it on after leaving the exam hall. The group chat was in chaos, some wailing, some comparing answers, all tagging the Class Monitor asking if they could head out now. Kong Ji opened the car door, gesturing for Tong Xilin to get in, to drive him there.
The gathering was at a tea restaurant on Pedestrian Street. Kong Ji parked the car. As Tong Xilin unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared to get out, Kong Ji called him, “Tong Xilin.” Tong Xilin turned his face to look at him. Kong Ji pulled a hand warmer packet from the glove compartment and tossed it into his lap. “Call me when it’s over. I’ll come pick you up.”
Tong Xilin squeezed the hand warmer packet and said, “Thanks, Uncle.” Then he placed it on the seat, pushed open the car door, and walked out directly.
