Ding ding! Welcome to the special segment “100 Questions on Husband-Husband Compatibility,” proudly sponsored by the Spacetime Administration Bureau! In response to the overwhelming enthusiasm from our vast audience, this episode will be hosted by yours truly, the clever and quick-witted Self-Rescue System!
And today, we are thrilled to welcome our heavyweight guests: my genius host, Fu Yanzong, and his ever-approachable partner, Song Linyu!
A big round of applause, please—
1. What is your name?
Fu Yanzong: Fu Yanzong—the “Zong” from “banquet in an empty mountain.”
Song Linyu: Song Linyu.
2. How old are you currently?
Fu Yanzong: 26.
Song Linyu: One year younger than my bro.
3. What is your gender?
Fu Yanzong: Male.
Song Linyu: Male.
4. What is your personality like?
Fu Yanzong: Not the best, I’d say. I have a strong desire to conquer and control the things that interest me, but I get bored easily. Dating is the exception, of course.
Song Linyu: …I think my brother is great. (Fu Yanzong let out a soft chuckle.)
Self-Rescue System: Yeah! But we’re asking you!
Song Linyu: (Speaking calmly, he smoothly skipped past the topic) Cold, I suppose. But it depends on the person.
5. What about the other person’s personality?
Fu Yanzong: It’s hard to sum up simply. When he’s with me, he’s usually obedient, adorable, and sweet, and I love the occasional glimpses of possessiveness. At work, he’s decisive and efficient, never dragging his feet. He’s ambitious, persistent, serious, and incredibly sharp about what he wants… It’s all incredibly captivating.
Song Linyu: I don’t know how to describe it… To me, every side of Fu Yanzong is different, but the common thread is that I find them all wonderful. He’s gentle, patient, and thoughtful with me. But his control and possessiveness are just as appealing. In short, Fu Yanzong is the sum of everything to me, good and bad alike.
6. When and where did the two of you first meet?
Fu Yanzong: The first time I remember is when I was 19, at Dongyu’s building. But the other day, I saw someone had secretly kept my student ID… That must have been in the Red Maple Forest outside school. If memory serves, I picked up a certain truant bad student.
Song Linyu: (His lips parted and closed several times. In the end, he had nothing to say and could only lower his gaze, quietly scratching at Fu Yanzong’s palm with his finger.)
7. What was your first impression of each other?
Fu Yanzong: Interesting.
Song Linyu: Gentle.
8. What do you like most about the other person?
Fu Yanzong: When you like someone, you like every part of them, right?
Song Linyu: Every single thing, without a doubt.
9. What do you dislike about the other person?
Fu Yanzong: As a favor to our dear System, here’s some advice: if you ask that again, he might snap at you.
Song Linyu: (Silent)
Self-Rescue System: (Guiltily flipping past the script.)
10. Do you think you two are compatible?
Fu Yanzong: Perfect score.
Song Linyu: I strive to make it the best.
11. How do you address each other?
Fu Yanzong: In bed… or out of bed?
Self-Rescue System: …Please say something we can air!
Fu Yanzong: Oh, in that case, lots of ways, depending on mood and occasion. The most common is by name. When I’m teasing him, it’s President Song. Then there’s wife, boyfriend, Little Yu, baby, darling, sweetie, little dog, puppy…
Self-Rescue System: Got it!! We can guess the rest! Your turn now!
Song Linyu: Bro, brother, hubby… and probably others at night, like mas— (The Self-Rescue System abruptly cut to the next question.)
12. How do you hope to be addressed by the other person?
Fu Yanzong: Whatever. I have different preferences for different situations, but I’ll always get him to say it.
Song Linyu: I like them all…
Fu Yanzong: (Suddenly leaning over with a smile) But I think he secretly loves being called “sis-in-law” by the fans. He always plays it off, but he adores it, doesn’t he?
Song Linyu: (Saying nothing, he tugged pleadingly at Fu Yanzong’s sleeve.)
13. If you were to compare the other person to an animal, what would it be?
Fu Yanzong: Lots of options. A beautiful ornamental fish. At work, a large feline predator—one strike, one kill. Though the Dongyu group chat says he’s more like a snake? He does feel cool to the touch when you hold him. With me… a kitten or puppy, I guess. (Amused by his own description, he continued.) The puppy side is loyal and clingy. The cat side only accepts the safe zone I’ve marked out for him. So cute.
Song Linyu: Lion and cat. My brother is a majestic lion and an utterly adorable cat. He has an absolute, unerring desire to control and conquer everything in his territory. But he’s also like a bird of prey, with his vast skies and boundless freedom.
14. What gift would you give the other person?
Fu Yanzong: I’ve already given them: my trophies, my ring, the love he wanted, and our home.
Song Linyu: (Hearing this, he blinked hard and gripped Fu Yanzong’s hand. After a long moment, he murmured softly.) Everything. Whatever he wants, I’ll make it happen.
15. What gift would you want for yourself?
Fu Yanzong: I’ve got everything I want… but maybe a new toy? We haven’t tried yet…
(The Self-Rescue System coldly muted him.)
Song Linyu: Without any obstacles, I’d have accepted the ring the first time he offered it. But it’s fine like this now.
16. Are there any dissatisfactions with the other person? What usually causes them?
Fu Yanzong: I don’t like it when he hides things from me. But that’s not his fault, and he’s doing much better now.
Song Linyu: None. He’s perfect in every way.
17. How far has your relationship progressed?
Fu Yanzong: Married.
Song Linyu: (Nodding)
18. Where was your first date?
Fu Yanzong: Depends on how you define it, but probably on set.
Song Linyu: I agree.
19. What was the atmosphere like back then?
Fu Yanzong: Pretty good? Though he seemed pretty conflicted.
Song Linyu: Back then, I thought I couldn’t like him… but I did anyway. I liked him a lot.
20. How far did things progress then?
Fu Yanzong: Kissing.
Song Linyu: A kiss.
21. Frequent date spots?
Fu Yanzong: Quite a few, but due to work, the set takes the cake… if that counts.
Song Linyu: It counts. Every day, every second counts.
22. What do you prepare for the other’s birthday?
Fu Yanzong: Something to overwrite all his bad memories. To me, it’s no April Fool’s joke—and it never will be for him.
Song Linyu: Watching the sea at Winterley Bay together. Christmases ahead might lack family, but I’ll always be there.
Fu Yanzong: You’re family too.
23. Who confessed first?
Fu Yanzong: Hard to say. If it’s just expressing like or love, it was him. But the confession that made us official lovers? That was me.
Song Linyu: Exactly.
24. How much do you like the other person?
Fu Yanzong: Exclusively. Completely. Utterly.
Song Linyu: More with every passing second.
25. Do you love the other person?
Fu Yanzong/Song Linyu: Love.
26. What does the other person say that leaves you helpless?
Fu Yanzong: When he acts cute.
Song Linyu: Always helpless…
Fu Yanzong: (His eyes curving into a smile) Your boundaries just keep slipping, darling.
Song Linyu: No… Truth is, anything goes.
27. If you suspected the other of cheating, what would you do?
Fu Yanzong: I wouldn’t suspect it. I know everything about Song Linyu, so I can’t even imagine it.
Song Linyu: Bro said I can trust him forever.
28. Could you forgive cheating?
Fu Yanzong: Not an option.
Song Linyu: (Coldly) He wouldn’t.
29. If the other is over an hour late for a date?
Fu Yanzong: Call or go find him. He never runs late by even a second under normal circumstances, so he’d be in trouble.
Song Linyu: Text or call to check if something’s wrong. If he wants me to wait, I will. If he needs me there, I’m on my way.
30. The other’s sexiest expression?
Fu Yanzong: So many, but right now, it’s when he’s come/crying nonstop.
Song Linyu: Brother…
Fu Yanzong: ^_^
Song Linyu: Every moment, as long as I can see his face.
31. When together, what moment makes your heart race most?
Fu Yanzong: Too many to count. The most frequent? When he snuggles into my arms.
Song Linyu: Everything makes my heart race… Hand-holding, hugs, kisses, making love—every minute, every second.
32. When do you feel happiest together?
Fu Yanzong: Just being together.
Song Linyu: Yeah, doing everything we want together.
33. Have you ever fought? What about?
Fu Yanzong: Yes. During the breakup, during the reunion when he kept secrets… We both probably cried alone for a long time.
Song Linyu: (Tilts his head up obediently to accept Fu Yanzong’s light, drifting kiss. After a moment, he purses his lips and says softly) We’ve quarreled. It was my fault.
Fu Yanzong: It’s not your fault.
34. How to make up afterwards?
Fu Yanzong: To be honest, he said it actually wasn’t his fault.
Song Linyu: If I confess, brother will forgive me… He’s really great.
35. After reincarnation, do you still hope to be lovers?
Fu Yanzong: Of course.
Song Linyu: I hope we can be together in every lifetime.
36. When do you feel loved?
Fu Yanzong: He watches every moment of me.
Song Linyu: Just need to be by his side.
37. What is your way of expressing love?
Fu Yanzong: Tell him I’m always here; he need not fear anything from the past or the future.
Song Linyu: All I can do for him.
38. When would you feel that “they no longer love me”?
Self-Rescue System: Wait, don’t rush to complain about this issue—I’ll delete it, delete it!
39. What flower do you think suits the other person?
Fu Yanzong: Gentian, then.
Song Linyu: Thorny Blue Flower.
40. Do the two of them have things they’re hiding from each other?
Fu Yanzong: No.
Song Linyu: There won’t be any more.
41. Where does your sense of inferiority come from?
Song Linyu: In the past, I felt I wasn’t genuine enough or excellent enough, and only obtained a gift that didn’t belong to me through concealment. But now, that won’t happen anymore. Bro said love doesn’t just bring happiness, joy, butterflies, and courage. It also brings pain, resentment, heartbreak, sadness, despair, and misfortune. But at the same time, it grants the power to overcome these—at least, that’s what makes it love, right?
Fu Yanzong: Sometimes I feel like there’s no way to love him more than he loves me.
42. Is their relationship public or secret?
Fu Yanzong: Public.
Song Linyu: Public.
43. Do you think the love with the other person can last forever?
Fu Yanzong: Of course. When I read Patterson before, I remember William Carlos saying that love is fundamentally not a comforting thing, but a nail in the skull. Song Linyu’s pain belongs to me, love belongs to me too—why would we separate?
Song Linyu: Okay. I won’t change, and I know bro won’t either.
44. Excuse me, are you the top or the bottom?
Fu Yanzong: Do I need to ask?
Song Linyu: No need.
45. Why make such a decision?
Fu Yanzong: It’s only natural.
Song Linyu: Mm.
46. Are you satisfied with the current situation?
Fu Yanzong: Of course.
Song Linyu: Very satisfied.
47. Location of the first time?
Fu Yanzong: Apartment.
Song Linyu: Yes.
48. The feeling at that time?
Fu Yanzong: Very good.
Song Linyu: He said I could cry in front of him. At that time, I didn’t know that this was called love.
49. What did the other person look like at that time?
Fu Yanzong: Pitiful and cute.
Song Linyu: Very… very aggressive.
50. What is your first sentence on the morning after the first night?
Fu Yanzong: ……Sleep a little longer.
Song Linyu: Good morning.
51. How many times per week?
Fu Yanzong: Haven’t counted.
Song Linyu: Not fixed.
52. In the most ideal situation, how many times a week?
Song Linyu: Every day.
Fu Yanzong: (Couldn’t hold back a laugh, then nodded) Mm, every day.
53. So, what kind of “play” is it?
Fu Yanzong: You’ve read and written fanfics that all had warnings.
Self-Rescue System: Okay, got it, skip skip.
54. Describe the other party in one sentence when having sx?
Song Linyu: Sexy, beautiful.
Fu Yanzong: Too easy to bully. You can play however you want.
55. To be honest, do you like sx?
Fu Yanzong: Of course I like it.
Song Linyu: ……I really like it.
56. In general, the venue for sx?
Fu Yanzong: Average? Then it’s home, I guess. Actually, we’ve tried quite a few places.
Song Linyu: Mm.
57. The location you want to try?
Song Linyu: I can’t seem to think of any more. Does bro have any other favorite places?
Fu Yanzong: I’ve tried everything.
58. Is showering before sx or after sx?
Fu Yanzong: And midway?
Song Linyu: ……I have all of them.
59. Is there any agreement at that time?
Song Linyu: Can you not take it out? I want to sleep with it in my mouth.
Fu Yanzong: There seem to be quite a few, like setting safe words, no musk or… forget it, seems like I can’t say it?
60. Have you ever had sex with someone other than your lover?
Fu Yanzong: Not interested.
Song Linyu: No.
61. Regarding the idea of “If I can’t get the heart, at least I should get the body,” do you agree or oppose it?
Fu Yanzong: It has nothing to do with me, because I’ll get them all.
Song Linyu: I agree. But to win the heart, this is just one of the gradual means.
62. If the other party was raped by thugs, what would you do?
Song Linyu: (calmly) I’ve already said, please don’t ask questions that would offend my lover and me.
Self-Rescue System: Damn, miscalculated… Delete it immediately, delete it immediately.
63. Will you feel embarrassed before sx? Or after?
Song Linyu: There will be.
Fu Yanzong: Won’t?
64. If a good friend says to you, “I’m very lonely, so only tonight, please…” and requests sx, what would you do?
Song Linyu: Get lost.
Fu Yanzong: It’s hard to imagine a normal person saying something like that.
65. Do you think you’re very good at sx?
Fu Yanzong: Fine, we always have a great time playing.
Song Linyu: I’ll be very obedient.
66. So what about the other side?
Song Linyu: Of course, brother excels at everything.
Fu Yanzong: Especially obedient.
67. What do you hope the other person says during sx?
Fu Yanzong: Not really suitable for broadcasting—anyway, it’d make him cry and admit it.
Song Linyu: I like both the excessive and the non-excessive ones.
68. Which expression on the other person’s face do you prefer during sx?
Song Linyu: When he slightly squints his eyes and looks me over from head to toe.
Fu Yanzong: Um… when you’re dazed to the point of emptiness.
69. Do you think it’s also okay with people other than your lover?
Fu Yanzong: I can’t.
Song Linyu: Absolutely not.
70. Are you interested in S/M?
Fu Yanzong: Often.
Song Linyu: …Likes it.
71. If your partner suddenly stops desiring your body, what would you do?
Fu Yanzong: Almost impossible. Is there a day when you’d skip an all-you-can-eat buffet? The morning wake-up service is always varied and very cute.
Song Linyu: That would mean they’re just teasing me… It signals a need to switch to new play.
72. In your experiences with sex so far, what location has made you feel the most excited and anxious?
Fu Yanzong: Backstage?
Song Linyu: Office.
73. Has the bottom ever taken the initiative to seduce you?
Fu Yanzong: Often.
Song Linyu: I really like brother.
74. What was the top’s expression at that time?
Song Linyu: A slight raise of the eyebrow, followed by the expected light chuckle.
Fu Yanzong: Mm.
75. For you, what is the ideal “sex partner”?
Fu Yanzong: Song Linyu.
Song Linyu: Fu Yanzong.
76. Does your current partner match your ideal?
Fu Yanzong/Song Linyu: Yes.
77. Do you like toys?
Fu Yanzong: I let him play with them himself, and I quite enjoy watching, but it’s just an appetizer.
Song Linyu: Prefer brother more.
78. When was your first time? Was the partner at that time your current lover?
Fu Yanzong: I’ve said it before.
Song Linyu: Yes.
79. Where do you like being kissed the most?
Song Linyu: Kissing.
Fu Yanzong: Right.
80. Where do you like kissing your partner the most?
Fu Yanzong/Song Linyu: Same as above.
81. Say one sentence to your lover!
Fu Yanzong: I alone and absolutely possess you, I love your fate, your bumps, and your stumbles.
Song Linyu: “I believe in your love.” Please let this be my last words.
Deleted some repetitive, meaningless, and unbroadcastable questions! First time trying the 100 questions format—hope everyone enjoys!
The last words Little Fish says are quoted from Tagore’s Stray Birds.
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