Chapter 104
The tree hollow returned to silence. Mo Huaishan once again turned into a motionless statue. But the hand around his waist tightened, squeezing tighter and tighter, until Hua Shi’an could barely breathe.
If he didn’t speak soon, he would be strangled to death in his arms. Hua Shi’an pulled out his right hand, which had been deformed by Mo Huaishan’s grip, and wrapped it around his neck. Taking the initiative, Hua Shi’an hugged him, his body pressing closer to his. He forced him to meet his fluttering, dodging eyes and comforted him in a low voice:
“There’s still time, Huaishan. If you’re hiding something from me, it’s not too late to confess now. We’re going to be mates for a lifetime, right? Honesty and trust are the most basic things.”
There was no escape. Mo Huaishan buried his head in Hua Shi’an’s neck and took a deep breath, drawing energy and courage from him. He then muttered in a low voice, “If, if I do something bad, can you forgive me? You can be angry, you can blame me, but you can’t, you can’t not want me.”
Hua Shi’an gently patted his back. “I promise you, as long as it’s not a matter of principle, I won’t be angry. Once you’ve said it, it’s over.”
“A matter of principle, what, what is that?” Mo Huaishan asked with a guilty conscience.
“Hmm…”
Hua Shi’an thought for a moment. “Doing bad things behind my back, things that are not good for me. For example, during this period, you deliberately pushed me to other beastmen, or you secretly got involved with other sub-beasts—”
“I wouldn’t. I’ve barely even spoken to other sub-beasts.” Mo Huaishan interrupted him, his speech no longer stuttering as he fluently expressed his loyalty, “Since I was little, I’ve never wanted anything special, except for you. I want to be your mate, I really, really want to. I even dream about it.”
Sweet words were certainly moving, but the truth was even more intriguing. Hua Shi’an pinched Mo Huaishan’s full earlobe and chuckled softly. “You talk a good game. If you want to be with me so much, why did you push me to others?”
Mo Huaishan’s expression suddenly changed, his pupils contracting sharply. “You, you knew?”
The beastman had learned to be bad, and he had even learned to lie. But at his core, he was still an honest and upright person. He didn’t perform well in areas he wasn’t good at, so much so that he was full of holes.
He had only explained one of the two “matters of principle.” He hadn’t done the latter, so he explained it with great confidence. But as for the former, he was so guilty that he didn’t even mention it. He must have done it.
Having gotten a definite answer, Hua Shi’an’s throat tightened, and he felt a little uneasy. But he was not angry. He stared blankly at Mo Huaishan and asked, one word at a time, “Why? Shouldn’t you give me an explanation?”
His lips were tightly pursed, his expression filled with dejection. His clear eyes had lost their usual luster, revealing a deep sadness, dull and lifeless.
He had never seen Hua Shi’an like this before. Mo Huaishan was flustered. He quickly hugged the sub-beastman and explained incoherently, “Don’t be sad, don’t cry, Shi’an. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you everything.”
“I’m bad, I’m not good. I’m a selfish beastman. You probably don’t know, Shi’an. When I found out that I couldn’t let a sub-beastman have cubs, my subconscious thought was… how to hide it from you.”
The tear stains had not yet disappeared, and hot, crystalline tears once again welled up in his eyes.
It took courage to open up his dark heart in front of his lover. Mo Huaishan tried his best to lower his head, for fear of seeing the disgust in Hua Shi’an’s eyes, his voice becoming more and more choked. “The Great Chief was right. This is not a small matter. No sub-beastman would be able to accept it, let alone you, Shi’an.”
“But I, but I don’t want to lose you. I had no other choice, so… I begged the Great Chief not to tell you, to help me hide it from you. The Great Chief is upright and selfless. I had thought he wouldn’t agree to such an unreasonable request, but to my surprise, he actually agreed.”
Hua Shi’an’s brow furrowed tighter and tighter, and his eyes gradually turned cold. “He agreed to help you hide it from me, on the condition that you talk to me less during this period and keep a distance from me? Then do you know, Huaishan, why he wanted you to keep a distance from me?”
Mo Huaishan nodded like a chick pecking at rice. “I, I know. He wanted to break us up, wanted you to… get in touch with other beastmen.”
What a mess!
Hua Shi’an was both angry and amused. He punched Mo Huaishan’s shoulder hard. “Mo Huaishan, are you stupid or just clueless? I don’t even know what to say to you. If you say you trust me, then you don’t believe that I will accept your flaws. If you say you don’t trust me, then you’re so bold as to let me get in touch with others. Do you trust me that much? What if I change my mind and get with someone else?”
The punch on his body had no effect, but the sentence “what if I change my mind” was like a sharp knife stabbing into his chest. Mo Huaishan’s shoulders trembled, and a few sobs escaped his throat. “I wasn’t bold. I wasn’t at ease at all. But what else could I do, Shi’an?”
“I was also very conflicted. A voice was constantly tempting me in my ear, telling me to hide it from you and become your mate first. But another voice was telling me not to harm you. It’s fine if you fall for someone else, as long as you can live a happy life and have a healthy and smart cub…”
The long-suppressed emotions were completely released. Mo Huaishan held Hua Shi’an tightly, his body trembling uncontrollably, and his tears were like a bursting dam, instantly wetting Hua Shi’an’s neck.
The resentment of being neglected was completely gone at this moment. Hua Shi’an bit his lower lip and tried his best to hold back, but hot tears still slid down his face.
He was wrong. He had underestimated the blow that not being able to have children would have on a primitive beastman. The beastman did not have his advanced and open-minded thinking, nor did he know that he did not care about cubs. He would only blame everything on himself, self-reproach, annoyance, and conflict…
He could have made it clear directly, but because of his pique, he had left him to bear it alone.
Tears dripped from his chin and fell on the beastman’s shoulder. Mo Huaishan, who was sobbing with his head buried, was first taken aback, and then he quickly looked up.
The tears that reflected in the darkness were particularly dazzling. Mo Huaishan’s brow furrowed tightly, and he quickly helped him wipe his tears. “Don’t cry, don’t cry, Shi’an. I, I didn’t give up on you.”
“Although I had an agreement with the Great Chief, I didn’t keep my word. I regretted it the next day and have been fighting with him ever since. I don’t want you to be with someone else, especially when I saw Chang Qing courting you last night. I was so sad, my chest hurt so much, I almost ran over and threw away her animal skin.”
“I didn’t sleep all night last night. I’ve thought it through. Even if I have to hide it from you, even if it will harm you, I still want to be your mate. You were the one who provoked me first. You said you loved me. You can’t not want me. Even if you don’t want me, I will still pester you, pester you shamelessly, and not let you find someone else.”
Even if they broke up, he would still pester him shamelessly. Such an extreme method might be a little scary to others, but for a calm person like Hua Shi’an, it was just right. He needed this kind of intense emotion. No one could let go, until death do them part.
“Silly.” Hua Shi’an touched his face and smiled through his tears. “You’re so silly. Why do I like you so much?”
Mo Huaishan rubbed his face against his hand. “I can be silly forever, as long as Shi’an likes it.”
Hua Shi’an leaned in, his nose touching his. He rubbed it gently. “You’re pushing your luck. You’re taking my scolding as a compliment. Have you no shame?”
“I want Shi’an, not shame.”
Mo Huaishan lifted his chin slightly, moved his nose aside, and blocked the hurtful mouth in front of him.
The knot in his heart could only be untied by intimacy. Hua Shi’an did not refuse the beastman who had come to his door. Their lips touched, and he took the lead, prying open the beastman’s lips and teeth, turning a simple touch into an irresistible deep kiss.
Completely different from the gentle and tender kiss last time, Hua Shi’an was like a wild beast that had been starved for three days and nine meals, rough and boorish. He grabbed Mo Huaishan’s hair with both hands and bit him with abandon, his tongue even tasting a faint, bloody taste.
It was as if he were venting his inner dissatisfaction, or as if… he had recovered what he had lost and was eager to be close to the other, and then to become one with him completely.
The two of them were a little out of control. They held each other and kissed for an incredibly long time. They were still kissing when the camp was calling for dinner, and the tribe members who had finished eating had gradually dispersed.
His head was a little dizzy, probably from lack of oxygen. Hua Shi’an reluctantly separated from Mo Huaishan, sucked the small bead of blood that had appeared on his lower lip, and lay on his shoulder, gasping for breath. “Phew—I forgive you, Mo Huaishan. But you have to promise me that from now on, no matter what, big or small, you can’t hide anything from me.”
“We have no parents. We only have each other. We are the two closest people in the world. We should learn to share happy things, to be happy together, to laugh together. For sad or unsolvable things, we should learn to discuss them, to share them, and to face them together.”
Mo Huaishan kissed Hua Shi’an’s soft hair and grunted solemnly. “Thank you, Shi’an. I know, I remember. I will never hide anything from you in the future.”
“What are you thanking me for?” Hua Shi’an asked.
Mo Huaishan sniffled. “Thank you for forgiving me, thank you for giving me a chance. I will be good to you, I will be good to you for the rest of my life.”
“Silly.” Hua Shi’an bit his shoulder. “Don’t say thank you in a relationship. I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it to satisfy myself. Who, who made me like you?”
Mo Huaishan’s breath hitched. “Shi’an…”
“Don’t ‘Shi’an’ me. I have to make it clear to you.” Hua Shi’an sat up straight, stared into Mo Huaishan’s eyes, and said seriously, “Don’t feel like you owe me anything. I don’t like cubs. I’ve never thought of having cubs. The fact that you can’t have them is a good thing for me!” It saves me the trouble of having to think of ways to avoid pregnancy in the future.
“I don’t care if you can have them or not, whether you’re capable or not, whether you give me gifts or not. I only care about you, the one and only silly.”
Hua Shi’an pinched his cheek and kissed his mouth. “Be a little more confident, okay? I love you, I like you! What I want is very simple. Just be with me and give me a home.”
He was definitely the luckiest and happiest beastman in the world.
It was like a dream. Mo Huaishan was so excited his hands were trembling. He felt his eyes heat up, and tears once again filled his red and swollen eyes. “I also love you, I like you.”
Hua Shi’an wiped his tears and asked very seriously, “Then are you willing?”
“Wha-what?” Mo Huaishan didn’t react for a moment.
“Of course—”
Hua Shi’an’s bright eyes curved slightly, and he smiled brilliantly. “To be my mate.”
As if he were afraid he would go back on his word, Mo Huaishan nodded vigorously and said without hesitation:
“I am, I am very willing!”
It was like the spring sun shining on his body. Hua Shi’an was warm from head to toe, from body to heart. He wrapped his arms around Mo Huaishan’s neck and curled up in his embrace. Just as he was about to relax and enjoy the rare moment of warmth, the other’s low, hoarse voice brushed past his ear like a gentle breeze:
“Shi’an, then… can I stay here tonight?”
