Chapter 116: The Jealous Apocalyptic White Lotus · 13

The moment his vision was covered and plunged into darkness, Su Wenyu visibly panicked.

His limbs reacted instinctively, struggling and bumping against the person behind him.

It wasn’t until Xu Youran’s voice came through—that slightly cool, gentle coaxing—that Su Wenyu was instantly pulled out of the nightmare-like terror.

“Xu… Xu Youran.” Su Wenyu grabbed the hand covering his eyes and pulled it down.

Su Wenyu turned his head back in a daze and met Xu Youran’s downward gaze.

Whether it was because Xu Youran’s features were too familiar to him, or because of the innate sense of security Xu Youran himself provided, the moment Su Wenyu saw that it was Xu Youran behind him, his taut nerves instantly relaxed. He gasped for breath in huge gulps, and the rims of his eyes immediately reddened.

“Xu Youran, just now, that person, he…” Su Wenyu tried to describe what he’d just seen. But the moment he recalled that scene, remembering how he’d helplessly watched a life extinguish before his eyes, Su Wenyu felt an inexplicable palpitation, that suffocating feeling returning again.

Xu Youran knelt on the floor, facing Su Wenyu’s red, rabbit-like eyes, and sighed with some helplessness.

He gently patted Su Wenyu’s back, easing his taut emotions, and asked softly, “Are you blaming yourself for not being able to save him?”

Su Wenyu froze at the question, not knowing how to answer.

Su Wenyu knew very clearly that the person’s jump had nothing to do with him. He hadn’t brought the zombies. He wasn’t some savior with the ability to rescue everyone.

He just… found it hard to easily accept that a life had been snuffed out right before his eyes.

Not even time to blink, and the person was dead.

Just a second ago, he’d been talking to that person, hearing their voice.

The next second, they were lying on the ground, devoid of any sign of life.

Life was as heavy as a mountain. Human life was greater than the heavens.

Su Wenyu valued life above all else. He couldn’t understand why someone would walk toward death so easily.

Unable to put himself in another’s shoes, he couldn’t reason himself out of it either.

Seeing his silence, Xu Youran gently patted his back again. “Maybe, for that person, that choice was the best they could make at the time.

“They didn’t have the courage to face the zombies, didn’t have the courage to face a hopeless future, so they chose what they had the most courage for in that moment.

“You don’t need to feel regret for them. You don’t need to feel sad for them. The one who made the choice was him. The one who died was also him.”

Su Wenyu opened his mouth and found himself completely unable to argue.

But he still felt so upset!

Thinking that more people who couldn’t hold on would choose to walk toward death on their own, Su Wenyu felt even worse.

Su Wenyu didn’t understand. Why would someone who wasn’t even afraid of death be more afraid of living?

Su Wenyu was afraid of death.

Very afraid.

To stay alive, he’d bound himself to a System, played the villain, bullied protagonists, done plenty of bad things—all so he could keep living.

Every second alive made him happy.

In the real world, Su Wenyu would even look at himself in the mirror every time he woke up and cheer himself on: Great, lived another day.

But perhaps the torment of illness couldn’t encompass all the suffering in the world.

Su Wenyu hadn’t lived through other people’s lives and thus couldn’t truly empathize. Anything he said now would be powerless.

Afraid that Xu Youran would worry about him, Su Wenyu could only rub his eyes, then scrub his face, forcing himself out of that low mood. Then he lifted his head and gave Xu Youran a smile: “Thank you for saying all that to me. Don’t worry, I’m fine now.”

Xu Youran stared at him for a moment, unconvinced or not, but ultimately didn’t say anything more. He rested his palm on top of Su Wenyu’s head and gave a light ruffle, then got up and dug two packs of instant noodles out of the cabinet.

Su Wenyu was still sitting on the floor. Seeing this, he looked bewildered: “What’s up? Are you hungry?”

In the dead of night—was he suddenly craving instant noodles?

Xu Youran glanced at him. “The floor is cold. Get up.”

Su Wenyu scrambled up immediately, then very naturally reached to take the noodles from him, ready to cook them.

Xu Youran avoided his hands. “It’s not for me. I’m giving them away.”

Su Wenyu’s eyes widened in shock. He looked at the noodles, then at Xu Youran, his expression fully conveying his disbelief.

Instant noodles. Xu Youran. Giving away?

These words couldn’t possibly go together, could they?

But it turned out Xu Youran really was giving them away.

Liu Yuan and Li Fei next door were still on the balcony, not yet back in their room to sleep. They were looking down at the ground through their fingers, sighing as they looked. They probably thought their future would end up just like that person below.

Li Fei was naturally frail. Having eaten poorly these past few days, barely enough to keep from starving, his complexion was terrible now, as if a gust of wind could blow him over.

Liu Yuan’s complexion looked somewhat better, but the dark circles under his eyes were just as heavy.

The people in the dorms seemed to have endless time to sleep and rest, but with zombies right outside the door and no one knowing if the zombies could climb up, no one slept soundly.

When Xu Youran drifted like a ghost to the side window, he scared the two half to death, nearly making their legs buckle and dropping them to their knees.

It wasn’t that they wanted to kneel to Xu Youran—they were simply weak from hunger and couldn’t handle even the slightest fright anymore.

“Y-you… what do you want?” Liu Yuan grabbed the weak-kneed Li Fei, trying to flex his muscles as he eyed Xu Youran warily.

Without a single word of nonsense, Xu Youran tossed the instant noodles over through the two broken windows.

Liu Yuan thought it was some kind of hidden weapon and was about to yell and fling it away, but Li Fei’s eyes were sharp and he immediately got excited: “It’s instant noodles!”

Liu Yuan’s horizontal blocking motion instantly turned into a catch. He looked down—it really was instant noodles!

Liu Yuan was dumbfounded. Li Fei also looked at Xu Youran in disbelief, his lips trembling slightly.

“Th-this, what does this mean?” Li Fei asked.

Xu Youran swept a cold glance over them. “Fill your stomachs when it’s light. If others want to charge out of the dorms together, you join them.”

“Of course, whether you live or die is up to your own fate.”

After tossing out these two sentences, Xu Youran turned and went back to the dorm.

Leaving behind Liu Yuan and Li Fei clutching the noodles in disbelief, along with Su Wenyu inside the dorm, equally incredulous.

“Why did you give them food? I thought you really disliked them?” Su Wenyu asked curiously.

He was genuinely curious.

He’d thought Xu Youran was the kind of person with that loner, twisted, perverted, sick personality. Who would’ve thought he had moments of soft-heartedness!

It was quite different from the Xu Youran Su Wenyu had come to know over the past two days.

Oh, and just now when Xu Youran comforted him—that was also a bit unlike before. Su Wenyu’s gaze toward Xu Youran was now full of the curiosity of exploring an unknown creature.

Xu Youran met his gaze and paused mid-step. “What’s with that look?”

Su Wenyu blinked: “Nothing~ Just curious why you’d give them instant noodles.”

Xu Youran pulled over a chair and sat down, crossing his legs and staring at Su Wenyu for a while, unsure how to explain.

If it were just him alone, he’d probably waste and throw away all the food before sharing it with anyone else.

That’s just how selfish he was. If others treated him poorly, they could forget about getting even a shred of mercy from him.

But seeing Su Wenyu’s reddened eyes and lost expression just now made Xu Youran a little unhappy.

He hadn’t even made Su Wenyu cry from bullying him—what right did someone else have to make him so sad with just one life?

Then Xu Youran thought of the two next door. If Su Wenyu was this upset over a stranger’s death, if those two next door died, wouldn’t Su Wenyu cry his eyes swollen?

Giving them two packs of instant noodles was just to redirect Su Wenyu’s attention—to make him a little less unhappy.

But Xu Youran certainly wasn’t going to say that himself.

So facing Su Wenyu’s question, Xu Youran only sneered. “Wanted to see if they’d die out there.”

Su Wenyu: “…”

Alright then.

That was definitely something Xu Youran would say.

Su Wenyu stopped asking. With this distraction, the low mood brought on by witnessing that person’s suicide had eased considerably.

520 perched on the rod, glanced at the two of them, and chirped: “It’s dark~ It’s dark~”

A reminder for them to stop sitting around downstairs and go to sleep.

Su Wenyu, who’d experienced great emotional turmoil tonight, checked the time after hearing 520’s call. A wave of drowsiness washed over him.

Xu Youran saw him stifle a yawn and stood up. “Sleep. We’ll talk when it’s light.”

Su Wenyu rubbed his eyes and nodded. After a trip to the bathroom and washing his hands, he climbed into bed.

As before, Su Wenyu slept on the inside, Xu Youran on the outside.

Su Wenyu practically fell asleep the moment his eyes closed. Seeing him drift off so fast, Xu Youran felt relieved—at least he hadn’t been scared into insomnia.

But within minutes, Su Wenyu, facing away from Xu Youran, suddenly struggled slightly, and then soft sobbing sounds emerged.

Xu Youran heard it and frowned. Propping himself up, he looked at Su Wenyu by the light filtering through the curtains. But Su Wenyu’s eyes were tightly shut, tears streaming down his face, brows slightly furrowed. His whole small face was flushed from crying, looking utterly miserable.

A nightmare?

Xu Youran gently shook Su Wenyu, trying to wake him from the bad dream. But Su Wenyu followed the motion, turned over, and directly wrapped his arms around Xu Youran’s waist.

Xu Youran: “…”

“Su Wenyu?” Xu Youran looked at Su Wenyu’s face again, only to find that he’d stopped crying at some point. He was just hugging Xu Youran’s waist, hands tightly clutching the hem of his shirt, as if afraid he’d run away.

520 saw this and quietly averted its gaze, telling itself this was not suitable for youth viewing and should not be watched.

As for waking Su Wenyu, 520 didn’t do it.

Su Wenyu had said: if Xu Youran harassed him, wake him up.

But with the current situation, it clearly looked like Su Wenyu was the one harassing Xu Youran. So 520 wiggled its clever little bird brain and decided there was no need to wake him.

Thus, Su Wenyu hugged Xu Youran tightly, looking like he’d rather die than let go, leaving Xu Youran momentarily at a loss.

Even more disconcerting for Xu Youran was that his little Youran seemed to be stirring restlessly again.

Xu Youran didn’t want to endure through another whole night. He could only suppress his temper and shake Su Wenyu’s shoulder again, voice low: “Su Wenyu, wake up.”

In response, Su Wenyu hugged him tighter while also tangling a leg over his.

Xu Youran lowered his head and glanced at his crotch.

…Fine.

Resigned to fate.

It wasn’t the first time anyway.