He Qinglan only felt like he was dying of happiness right now…
Zhou Zhuoyuan had caught a cold again. He huddled under the blanket and sneezed twice in a row. He Qinglan had gone out to buy cold medicine powder for him, while Guan Qi headed to the cafeteria to pack up breakfast, leaving Pei He alone in the dorm to keep him company.
He sniffed. “I don’t think I need to call in sick.”
Following He Qinglan’s instructions, Pei He poured him a cup of hot water. “What do you mean, ‘don’t think’? The match is on Wednesday. No coach in their right mind would let you play like this. You’re nothing but trouble. I told you yesterday not to take your shirt off.”
Stung by the rebuke, Zhou Zhuoyuan felt a pang in his chest and refused to take the cup. “I don’t need your help! I’ll make sure the coach doesn’t notice a thing!”
Pei He set the cup down on the bedside table. “You think I want to be stuck babysitting you?”
Zhou Zhuoyuan sniffed again. “You’re just jealous that He Qinglan likes me, aren’t you? If you like him so much, why don’t you confess to him? Coward.”
“Stop sniffing.” Pei He yanked a tissue from the box and held it under his nose. “Blow.”
Zhou Zhuoyuan obeyed on instinct. It wasn’t until Pei He tossed the used tissue in the trash that he realized how childish it made him look. “Hey! I can blow my own nose!”
Pei He brought the cup of water back to his lips.
This time, Zhou Zhuoyuan snatched it away. “I said I can drink it myself!”
He chugged down half the cup in big gulps. Only then did he catch the amusement twinkling in Pei He’s eyes and realize he’d been played.
Before he could snap at him, Pei He plopped down on the edge of his narrow dorm bed. “I’m not confessing to him for the exact same reason he hasn’t confessed to you—I’m scared of getting shot down.”
The blunt admission caught Zhou Zhuoyuan off guard, leaving him too embarrassed to pile on the mockery. After a moment’s hesitation, he mumbled, “Sorry.”
Pei He shrugged. “Sorry for what? Save your pity. But what about you? What’s your take on him?”
Zhou Zhuoyuan hemmed and hawed. “I don’t know. He’s great. I like hanging out with him. But I’ve never really thought about dating a guy.”
He left one thing unsaid: He Qinglan only liked him right now because he didn’t truly know him. Once he saw what a mess Zhou Zhuoyuan really was, that affection would vanish in a heartbeat.
Pei He stared at him, at a loss for words. “You’ve got a real knack for being a natural player, don’t you?”
Zhou Zhuoyuan blinked, not getting it. “I’m not a player. Just… give me time to figure it out.”
He Qinglan chose that exact moment to push open the door. He stared at Pei He in disbelief, as if he couldn’t fathom his best friend pulling something like this.
Zhou Zhuoyuan’s face flushed crimson in an instant. Sure, Pei He had said He Qinglan liked him—but who knew if that was true? After all this back-and-forth, would He Qinglan now see him as some sleazy, self-obsessed creep who spent his days fantasizing about secret admirers?
Under He Qinglan’s disappointed gaze, Pei He found himself tongue-tied. He shot up from the bed. “It’s not what you think!”
He Qinglan arched a brow. “And what do I think it is?”
Pei He gaped at him. How the hell was he supposed to know?
He Qinglan let out a wry chuckle. “No wonder you kept dropping those hints that I had no shot with him.”
Pei He sputtered. “What does that even mean?”
He Qinglan forced his eyes away from Zhou Zhuoyuan. In those fleeting seconds, his mind had already spun a full-blown drama. “I’ll go mix up your medicine. You two keep talking.”
Zhou Zhuoyuan felt like they were all broadcasting on completely different frequencies, each speaking their own private dialect. On the verge of collapse, he blurted, “What exactly do you think is going on here?”
He Qinglan hesitated, then pasted on a look of forced nonchalance. “I heard you say you’re not a player and that you need time to think. When did you two get together? Real classy, keeping it from your roommate after all this time.”
Shock hit Zhou Zhuoyuan like a freight train—he sneezed three times in rapid succession.
Seeing how badly things had spiraled, Pei He threw up his hands. “No, that’s not it. We were talking about you. I told him you like him, and he said he’d think it over.”
In an instant, every bit of exposed skin on He Qinglan turned beet red, like a freshly boiled lobster. A buzz filled his ears. The secret he’d buried deep in his heart had just been aired out so casually by Pei He. Overriding any resentment or panic was a profound sense of relief—like a boulder finally rolling off his chest.
The words tumbled through his mind over and over: think it over. So that’s what it meant. He was thinking about whether to accept his feelings!
He Qinglan was so thrilled that he rattled the bag in his hand with a jangling clatter. At least Zhou Zhuoyuan wasn’t rejecting him outright. What could be better news than that?
Zhou Zhuoyuan kept his expression neutral, but his earlobes burned scarlet. Inside, his thoughts were a tangled mess. Part of him wanted to warn He Qinglan not to get ahead of himself, but he dreaded crushing that hope. His family and friends had all turned away from him in the end. Only lovesick kids ever fell for his looks.
He Qinglan only felt like he was blissfully happy right now…
Moreover, Zhou Zhuoyuan had no idea how two men could be together. He had never felt the impulse to fall in love with anyone or thought about becoming someone’s partner. During the height of his teenage hormones, he had been too busy sulking at his foster parents and resenting Zhou Zhuoyi.
He didn’t want to be a scumbag. He didn’t want to toy with He Qinglan’s feelings.
Zhou Zhuoyuan said, “Can you give me a little time?”
He Qinglan felt blissfully happy. What he had hoped for at first was simply that Zhou Zhuoyuan wouldn’t call him disgusting or cut ties with him—that alone would have satisfied him. “Of course. I’ll go brew your medicine. You focus on getting better first.”
Pei He felt a bitter pang for having made a wedding dress for someone else. Unfortunately, he didn’t smoke, so he couldn’t strike a brooding pose on the balcony with a couple of drags.
~~~
Zhou Zhuoyuan recovered from his cold unusually quickly this time. By the next day, he was full of energy again, and it didn’t disrupt his study schedule or Wednesday’s competition.
The weather on Wednesday was exceptionally fine. Fluffy, soft clouds dotted the azure sky, tempting the imagination to savor their sweetness. The afternoon sun was warm and toasty, diligently replenishing calcium for students who sat indoors all day.
This time, under his roommates’ watchful eyes, Zhou Zhuoyuan donned his warmest thermal underwear and slapped on a full eight heating pads from head to toe.
His classmates all turned out to cheer them on, ramping up the electric atmosphere. In the thick tension, none of them had room for stray thoughts. When Ji He handed off to Zhou Zhuoyuan, he bellowed at the top of his lungs, “Hurry! Hey, careful—don’t drop him!”
Zhou Zhuoyuan’s head throbbed from the racket. “You’re so damn naggy!”
They barreled through the race amid the clamor, clinching the championship before awkwardness could even set in during the final two legs. The class’s cheers were deafening, earning plenty of glares from neighboring groups.
Sun Yuqing led off with a massive bear hug for Zhou Zhuoyuan, and soon the whole group piled into one big huddle. Many years later, looking back, Zhou Zhuoyuan would still regard this as the happiest stretch of his two lifetimes.
Twenty-three-year-old Zhou Zhuoyuan finally possessed youth—and the feelings that came with it—for the first time.
~~~
The school didn’t allow students to stay on campus over New Year’s Day break, since the cafeteria staff and dorm monitors were off for the holiday. They worried about accidents with kids left unsupervised. Zhou Zhuoyuan didn’t want to go home and toyed with the idea of visiting his old neighbor, Aunt Wu, in the Northern Small City.
Aunt Wu should be living in East City around this time, though he had no clue on the exact spot and figured he’d wing it.
Ji He had no idea what he was planning. He leaned in close and asked, “New Year’s Day—I’m coming to your place to hang out with you and… er, just to hang out!”
Zhou Zhuoyuan replied while scribbling away at his holiday homework, “I’m not going home for New Year’s Day. I’m heading to North City for some fun.”
Ji He panicked. “What? Who’re you going with? Why didn’t you invite me?”
Zhou Zhuoyuan said, “Just by myself.”
Ji He couldn’t fathom it. “What’s the fun in going solo? Don’t go—North City’s freezing.”
Seeing Zhou Zhuoyuan go quiet, Ji He got a sly glint in his eye and hatched a brilliant plan. “How about we hit up the new vacation manor my brother’s building in the next city over? You just got over that cold—don’t head somewhere so chilly. New Year’s is only three days anyway; the round trip alone would eat up time for three full practice sets.”
He knew exactly how to hook Zhou Zhuoyuan, who started to waver.
Ji He kept at it. “The air there’s amazing, super warm, and there’s a huge amusement park right next door. We can go show support for my bro—no charge. What do you say? Just us two. I’m not dragging anyone else along.”
Zhou Zhuoyuan wasn’t buying it. “Just us? You love a crowd—won’t you get bored?”
Jackpot. Ji He doubled down. “Tons of stuff to do there—not boring for a second. Tonight I’ll swing by your dorm; the driver’s coming to pick us up.”
Zhou Zhuoyuan set down his pen. “I haven’t said yes yet. Why do you always decide for everyone?”
For all his words, under Ji He’s relentless wheedling, he caved and agreed.
Trailing Zhou Zhuoyuan into the dorm like a tail, Ji He stood arrogantly in the doorway and watched him pack.
Guan Qi and Pei He had already cleared out. Only He Qinglan remained, fiddling with his phone at the desk. Midway through packing, Zhou Zhuoyuan glanced up. Their eyes met, and both flushed red before jerking their gazes away.
Ji He sensed something off in the air between them but couldn’t put his finger on it. Lost in visions of a perfect holiday, his brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders.
He Qinglan finished prepping the materials the teacher needed and stood to help Zhou Zhuoyuan sort things. “You two heading out together for some fun?”
Zhou Zhuoyuan said, “Yeah, to that new vacation manor in the neighboring city.”
Since Ji He was footing the bill, Zhou Zhuoyuan felt awkward inviting He Qinglan along. Besides, he still hadn’t figured out how to handle their relationship—a few days apart over the holiday seemed perfect.
Ever since that day, being around He Qinglan made the air thick and sticky, crammed with molecules that scrambled his thoughts.
He Qinglan snapped the suitcase shut over him. “Have fun.”
