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Chapter 68: Classic Five-Choose-One


Heavy rain poured outside.

Zhang Jian went around the circle pouring tea for everyone, and the group gathered once more to discuss the case.

“First up is still Guo Dongying. He was skinned yesterday, and the killer only left a small amount of dirt on the window—probably from the soles of shoes from a place he’d been before.” Xiao Fen handed the evidence bag to Tang Shen. “He’s not on the hospital roster matching the physical description the vice squad officers saw. Not hospital staff.”

Peng Xiaoxiao said, “I’ll go find those two this afternoon to sketch portraits. The town’s so small— we’ll know the killer’s face soon enough.”

“According to Lu Kaiyu’s autopsy, he died in the early hours of the 25th. We don’t have the equipment here for an exact time. He’d been swapped into Guo Dongying’s freezer and frozen for a day.” Qin Wensu pulled out the report. “The body the vice squad officers saw in the freezer from the doorway was always Lu Kaiyu. The real Guo Dongying was swapped out yesterday and skinned. After the swap back, the killer rushed Lu Kaiyu’s body to the second-floor ward overnight, recreating the Room 207 Bed 4 ghost story.”

Zhang Jian said in horror, “Nothing like this ever happened before. How could someone so terrifying appear in our town?”

“Is it possible it happened before, but you all wrote it off as weird legends and closed the case?” Xiao Fen suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “This time you ran into us, so it got classified as murder.”

Just like that stranger a year ago who died mysteriously—they were still spreading rumors about the Substitute Life Well, refusing to believe it was murder.

The live stream chat was full of resentment toward Tengcha’s vice squad officers too— who knew how many wrongful convictions had been buried like that.

“As for Lu Kaiyu, our only lead right now is that peace talisman.” Tang Shen pulled out the talisman again, frowning. “The folded paper inside has fingerprints from the shaman and Lu Kaiyu. The surface prints are smudged—especially in this rainy season, paper gets damp and ruins them. I can only say no one’s touched it with their hands in the last 48 hours.”

“According to Wang Wenfang’s statement, ever since she married Lu Kaiyu, he’s had exclusive rights to sell these peace talismans. She sources them from the shaman, and they’ve sold countless over the years—even Lu Kaiyu carried one on him at all times. Everyone in Tengcha has one, so this lead’s tough to pursue.”

Xiao Fen grumbled, “Fake shaman peddling fakes, and it’s a whole supply chain now.”

Zhang Jian defended weakly, “They’re not fake. They do bring blessings. Just that President Lu wore his too long, and it lost its power.”

Xiao Fen shook his head. “Don’t they laminate or package your talismans here? That way the power lasts longer. If they had distinctive features, it’d be easier for us to track. Finding the killer for us? That’d be infinite power.”

If people wore them in various ways around town, someone would’ve seen what certain folks’ talismans looked like and could identify them.

“People here think that stuff affects the power. So usually we just fold them into triangles, thread them on keychains, or keep them in bags.” Zhang Jian said. “We don’t even dare wear them on our bodies—afraid we’ll forget to take them off in the bath and soak the incantations.”

“No wonder they use this paper.” If it were H Country yellow paper, it’d disintegrate in days. These folks wouldn’t do anything else but buy new ones daily.

It suited local customs, at least.

“Let me take another look.” Xiao Fen reached across the table.

Tang Shen stood, leaned over, and passed the talisman paper to him across the table.

Ou Yu curiously leaned his head over. “It’s kinda new.”

He’d stated the obvious.

But beyond that, nothing else stood out.

No markings. The cinnabar strokes were smooth and connected, no bleeding, crystal clear. No extra creases or wrinkles—even fingerprints were invisible to the naked eye.

“Can I open it and smell it?” Ou Yu asked.

Fang Si Ting nodded.

Ou Yu took it, opened the evidence bag, and sniffed.

Stuffed overnight, the smell was stronger than when Xiao Fen had opened it last night, easier to distinguish too.

“Cardstock paper smell, and cinnabar… yeah, it’s new.”

“That’s it?”

Fang Si Ting suddenly asked, “Can you tell when this talisman was made?”

“That’s a tough one for me.” Ou Yu smiled wryly. “If I’d studied forensic science properly, I might pinpoint the time.”

But from years of life experience, he could at best judge storage within 24 hours accurately.

“Why push him?” Xiao Fen shielded him. “Brother Ou Yu isn’t a pro at this.”

Fang Si Ting’s face stayed neutral, his mouth corners twitching down.

“But,” Xiao Fen seemed to think of something, “it’s new—that’s a clue in itself, right?”

Ou Yu looked at him puzzled. “I just said that.”

Twice even.

What kind of clue was that?

Fang Si Ting looked at Xiao Fen and got it instantly, tapping his index finger in the air.

“It’s new!”

Fang Si Ting jumped up excitedly and rushed out, leaving the group exchanging bewildered glances.

Ou Yu stared blankly at Xiao Fen. “What’s the difference between what I said and what you said?”

“New means it was sold recently. Even without an exact timeline from the crime, no one carries a talisman this pristine—looks like less than two months max.”

That narrowed the suspect pool hugely.

“Inspector Fang must be off to do major memory recovery on Wang Wenfang—see who she’s sold to lately.” Xiao Fen joked. “Ignore him. Did you smell anything else?”

“Treating me like a dog, huh.”

Ou Yu laughed, sniffed carefully again, pausing to recall now and then.

“A oily smell—body fat? Faint, not sure. With all this rain, paper absorbs moisture, dilutes scents.” He frowned, thinking. “And a shit smell.”

“???”

“Fell in a latrine?”

Tang Shen, already leaning close, leaned in more, eyes full of curiosity.

“I don’t know.” Ou Yu said. “Doesn’t smell like human shit.”

“Shit comes in types now?” Peng Xiaoxiao’s mouth twitched.

Ou Yu looked embarrassed discussing this—totally clashing with his pure idol image.

But it was for the case.

Tang Shen said, “Of course it does. Depends what you eat, that’s what you shit. If not human, could be cat, dog, chicken, duck, pig, cow…”

“Pig shit? Is it pig shit?” Xiao Fen asked urgently.

Zhang Jian slapped his palm. “The pig farm! Wang Wenfang’s pig farm!”

“I don’t know.” Ou Yu smiled bitterly. “Never even seen a live pig.”

“No way?” Zhang Jian stared at him in shock, like he was an alien.

【Done for, defeated by lack of life experience.】

【Who says this isn’t educational?】

【Film Emperor’s too detached from real life.】

【City kids these days—who’s seen a live pig? Supermarket meat’s all butchered and portioned. Forget pig shit.】

【Skill like that on a vice squad officer? Game-changer.】

【Movie Emperor Ou never thought his variety show gig would include sniffing shit to ID it.】

【Just routine evidence work for vice squad. He’s living their ordinary-yet-not day.】

Soon, word came from Fang Si Ting.

Per Wang Wenfang’s statement, Lu Kaiyu had sold peace talismans to five people in the last two months.

Middle school history teacher Zhong Houwang.

Wild Boar Guy Wan Xueyi.

Dam Manager Wu Lifu.

Former town clinic doctor Liu Junming.

Mountain hunter Zhang Anfu.

【Holy shit, classic five-choose-one moment!】

【Let’s see who doesn’t have a talisman.】

【Elementary schooler mode: Good luck catching the real killer! Truth is one!】

【Thrilling! No-prize bets—place ’em! Winner gets a peanut! Killer to Eighteen Levels of Hell, die horribly!】

Capital Criminal Investigation University.

Lü Siming pasted photos and profiles of the five on the blackboard.

“First, Zhong Houwang,” he said. “He claimed to see the ‘folded person’ that night. But our analysis showed the time between Ou Yu’s sighting and his was too short—no vehicle, impossible. Vice squad searched his home: he has a sedan and an e-bike. One’s too conspicuous, the other’s underpowered. Neither suits body dumping.”

“So he lied about the ‘folded person’—means he did it?” a student said.

“Possible. Can’t explain it otherwise.”

“Plus, Guo Dongying lured him back to Tengcha to build the hometown, but from Zhang Jian, he regretted it—likely resented Guo enough to kill.” Another analyzed. “College grad wouldn’t buy ghost tales. Lu Kaiyu scamming him on talismans? He kept quiet then, but probably harbored grudge, took revenge on both.”

“Makes Zhong Houwang prime suspect.” Lü Siming listed the points. “But Ou Yu smelled pig shit on the hospital talisman dropped—Wan Xueyi’s a contender too.”

“He resented Guo’s wild game ban.”

“And crucially, he has the skills.” A student said. “Others don’t.”

“No, that’s the least key.” Another countered. “Zhong has knowledge—books teach it. Hunter Zhang Anfu? Obvious skinning skills, practices on beasts—rabbit and deer hides at home. Dam Manager Wu Lifu neighbors Wild Boar Guy, helps skin and subdue boars for free meat. Doctor? Knife work’s pro.”

“Notice: Tang Qin Xin said Guo vanished that night after Wu claimed the dam would burst in the storm. Might fool others, but town leader Guo would buy it from the dam manager.”

“Or a passerby faking dam trouble.”

“No—this guy’s the smallest build. Remember Brother Fen said the perp holding ‘folded person’ legs was slim?”

“Suspicious, but tiny and weak-looking—no strength.”

“No motive though.”

“But who else could impersonate a doctor at the clinic, window the body out calmly, know the layout to dump in Room 207? Only Liu Junming.”

“Professor Peng’s profile: super superstitious psycho. Med school drives you mad—why else fired? Not on Brother Fen’s roster.”

“Uh… good you ain’t in the stream.” Offends every med student.

“Fired from clinic—maybe society revenge.”

“Last, Zhang Anfu… eh.”

The students figured him least likely.

The live feed cut to the Tengcha Inspection Office interrogation room.

The five suspects stood in a row before the desk-sized table.

One-way mirror away, Zhang Jian followed to the observation room and blurted at the familiar faces.

“Dad?!”


This is an Escape Variety Show, Not a Fishing Game

This is an Escape Variety Show, Not a Fishing Game

这是逃亡综艺,不是钓鱼游戏
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

After completing 101 unlimited flow missions, Xiao Fen successfully retired and transmigrated as a background character in an entertainment industry novel.

The first second he opened his eyes, a uniformed staff member said, "You're under arrest."

Xiao Fen thought, A new chill retirement method unlocked?

The original body belonged to a minor 18th-tier celebrity in the book, someone who debuted purely on his looks. He sucked at acting, singing, and dancing, had a timid personality, and got dumped by his agency into a new variety show to squeeze out his last bit of value.

"No Escape" was a real-person chase-and-escape challenge program. The program crew arranged for celebrities and various civilian experts to play criminals, pitting them against the nation's top pursuit team leader, special forces members, criminal profilers, intel experts... As long as they evaded capture each time, the winner would claim a five hundred million prize.

Penniless Xiao Fen, without even a system: How much did you say?

Fang Si Ting, former Special Investigation Bureau tactical analyst and action division special inspector, was rigid and abstinent, never smiled, always buttoned up to the collar—a total workaholic. He handled over a hundred major serious cases with a zero failure rate. Plenty of criminals saw his stern, majestic face and went weak in the knees on the spot.

When the show aired—

While other guests scrambled to dodge surveillance and grab cash, Xiao Fen leisurely hit on hot guys in the city streets, knocked them out, and delivered them to the police station for hefty bounties.

While others tried every trick to hide their tracks, Xiao Fen disguised himself with explosive acting skills and strolled right out under the investigation team's noses.

While others fled to remote wildernesses, Xiao Fen located the pursuit team's building, joined them for lunch, listened to the vice squad officers' progress reports, and even flirted with the pursuit team leader.

At the start, the live stream chat:

【A new way to court death.】

【Who is this guy? Total airhead, wasting that face.】

【If he's not caught in ten minutes, I'll do a handstand in the shower.】

After airing, the live stream chat:

【Unbelievable doesn't even begin to cover it.】

【Officer, your fugitive delivery has arrived at the door.】

【Fake criminal catches real criminal—fighting crime starts with me!】

【Who said Brother Fen is just a pretty face? He had my legs going weak.】

【Brother Fen actually winked at Fang Yama. Tired of living, huh!】

After escaping under their noses multiple times, Fang Si Ting decided to join the chase personally, pitting his wits against Xiao Fen.

Global viewers held their breath daily for Xiao Fen's safety. After the finale, they got Fang Si Ting's on-air proposal to Xiao Fen instead.

【Mommy, the CP I ship is real!】

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