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Chapter 92: Routine Check!


The program crew staff all left the mansion.

With the outermost black iron gate closing, the interior of the mansion fell into dead silence.

Zhong Jinghuan clapped his hands and said, “How about everyone introduces themselves?”

Just as he spoke, Film Queen Lin Xiu stood up and pushed her luggage upstairs with her companion.

The servants hurried over to help.

Once she left, the others grumbled and followed her upstairs.

【Film Queen is still so cold, not giving anyone face.】

【Actress Lin coming to this show is already giving a lot of face. This is her first variety show, right?】

【Yeah, as expected, she’s as individualistic as ever.】

Two servants came over, wanting to help Xiao Fen with his luggage.

There were fewer than ten servants in the mansion total, and two came to help him right away. Afraid of offending the elders, he refused on the spot and carried the luggage upstairs with Song Hui and Ou Yu.

The mansion had four floors and formed a huge “口” shape inside. The second floor had rooms on three sides except the living room side, while the third and fourth floors had rooms on all four sides. A massive wooden staircase sat right in the center, crisscrossing paths, with a huge crystal chandelier hanging from the top.

Xiao Fen casually picked a room on the third floor and asked the male servant who was moving luggage into the two adjacent rooms for Ou Yu, “How many keys are there for the room?”

“Only this one, Mr. Xiao. If you decide to stay here, please keep your room key safe. Losing it would be very troublesome.”

“Do I have to pay compensation?” He still remembered Butler Zhuo’s proud expression when he introduced the mansion.

“No need for that.” The male servant explained, “All the spare keys were sent out in advance and aren’t in the mansion. If you need to open the door for luggage, you can only wait until the program ends.”

Xiao Fen nodded and pushed the luggage into the room.

The interior decor blended Chinese and Western retro styles, with beige patterned wallpaper as the base color. The furniture featured curled grass patterns and rose edges, but there were also twin fish ornaments and some decorations that suited Chinese tastes.

Less than two minutes later, someone knocked on the door.

He opened it to find Fang Si Ting standing there expressionlessly, credentials spread out.

“What are you here for?”

He was now… no, what was his identity now? The program crew hadn’t said.

“Routine check.”

Fang Si Ting put away his credentials and squeezed past him into the room.

His usual suit was now overlaid with a black knee-length thick wool coat, which added a more steady and domineering air.

“This doesn’t follow the rules.” Xiao Fen curled his lip.

Fang Si Ting took items out of his luggage one by one. “The program has already started. I need to check if anything you brought could lead to a crime.”

Xiao Fen tsked impatiently, his lips turning down, a look of displeasure on his face. “Am I that kind of person?”

He hadn’t brought much.

People who weren’t good at packing always traveled light.

The fans couldn’t agree more.

【Right, he’s the on-site sourcing knife guy. Bringing gear wouldn’t fit a serial killer’s vibe at all.】

【That way the victims stay authentic.】

As they chatted, they started feeling something was off.

【What is Fang Yama doing? He checked under the pillow and then put it back on the bed?】

【And the clothes he shook out to inspect—he hung them neatly in the closet?】

【Is there a rule that inspectors organize suspects’ stuff after checking?】

【No idea. Earlier when he was visiting, Inspector Fang hadn’t even unpacked his own luggage yet.】

【Feels like something’s weird between these two since they got back from episode three.】

【Overthinking it. Brother Fen has a stinky face—he looks like he wants to kick the guy out right now. Who’d be happy getting targeted at the start of the show, especially with their personal stuff?】

“Done searching?” Xiao Fen yawned.

Not fully awake yet, his energy was low, and he didn’t feel like dealing with anyone.

He had tangled with someone until midnight last night and hadn’t even noticed when the other left the apartment.

Good thing he had left, or Song Hui would’ve caught them red-handed this morning.

Fang Si Ting snapped his luggage shut and even patted around the outside for show before pushing it into the corner against the wall.

There weren’t many items, but it still took nearly twenty minutes.

“Did you find anything?” Xiao Fen mumbled.

Fang Si Ting shook his head. “This episode, I’ll be keeping a close eye on you until I catch your crime evidence.”

“Inspector Fang, besides my luggage, have you searched anyone else’s?”

“Not yet.”

“Special treatment— that’s not fair.” Xiao Fen looked at that stiff, serious face, his sleepiness fading as he felt like teasing again. “What virtue or ability do I have to get such focused attention? Inspector Fang, you can’t explain that without a reason.”

“Some of the setup at Lu Jin’s murder scene last time, like the clippings—those were definitely things you brought in advance.”

Bringing gossip clippings about Lu Jin on a trip—what kind of mindset was that!

Seeing his expression, Xiao Fen laughed. “So you’re jealous.”

Fang Si Ting’s face darkened. “Jealous of what?”

Xiao Fen fanned under his nose, his eyes lighting up slyly as he smiled with deep meaning.

“If my underwear goes missing later, can I ask Inspector Fang for it?” He leaned lazily against the doorframe at the room entrance, head tilted, smiling at him.

“I’m just doing a check. Why would I take your underwear?” Fang Si Ting was speechless.

“Who knows?” Last night he had devoured him so eagerly, forcing him to surrender in his mouth twice.

“Vice squad officers check citizens’ items only after getting consent and with the owner present.”

The more official his words, the more flustered he was inside.

“I don’t believe it.” Xiao Fen knew exactly what was up. He grabbed the edge of his coat, pulled him closer, and tiptoed up, gazing sweetly into his bright black eyes as he whispered, “I want a body search.”

Fang Si Ting’s breath caught, his gaze dazed by the smile. Seeing him leaning playfully—about to topple but not quite— he subconsciously reached out to steady him.

Xiao Fen merely tilted a bit before standing firm again.

The two of them looked toward the little black dot zipping by, which vanished from sight in an instant.

Fang Si Ting quietly lowered his hand, forcibly turned his head aside, and said stiffly, “Let go.”

“Not letting go.” Xiao Fen’s expression clearly showed he was acting spoiled.

“Not letting go counts as assaulting an officer.” He warned sternly.

“Who touched you? I touched your clothes.” Xiao Fen said innocently. “This hand just ended up here somehow.”

“Quibbling.”

“You’re the one quibbling. When my hand got stuck on your clothes earlier, why didn’t you say that then?”

“I…”

Seeing him tongue-tied and quietly anxious, Xiao Fen couldn’t help laughing. He tugged the man along and shifted their positions.

“See you at dinner time, Mr. Black Cat.”

Before Fang Si Ting could respond, he was pushed out the door. The next second, the door shut from inside.

Xiao Fen leaped onto the bed and rolled around contentedly a couple of times. Thinking of Fang Si Ting’s expression from earlier, he burst out laughing again.

The more he looked at it in his mind, the sillier it seemed.

He buried his face in his own pillow.

Less than two minutes later, he already felt bored.

He pulled out his phone. No internet, but he could make calls and send texts. He sent Fang Si Ting a beating emoji, and the reply came instantly.

He tried contacting people outside the mansion but couldn’t.

It seemed he could only reach people within the mansion’s range.

After playing two rounds of single-player games, he started to doze off, but the bed kept him from really sleeping.

He finally made it until a servant knocked on the door, then went downstairs with them.

Just as he reached the restaurant entrance, his steps hesitated for a second.

Hu Juan stood up from the table and smiled faintly at him. “Long time no see, Xiao Fen.”

The live stream chat filled with question marks. Old fans who’d followed Xiao Fen since the show’s start explained things to the newcomers.

It quickly turned into a barrage of curses.

【Program crew, put some effort into guest selection! How can someone with such an obvious bad record participate?】

【Which guest brought this guy? No screening beforehand?】

Xiao Fen was simply surprised to see this face in a place like this. Once he recovered, he said, “Not that long—just three or four months.”

He had been busy listening to Director Wang explain the rules earlier and hadn’t noticed the man.

No, he really hadn’t seen him in the first-floor hall.

Yan Feng stood up beside him at that moment. “Didn’t expect you two to know each other.”

“You’re…”

“He’s Madam Lu’s personal assistant and bodyguard.” Butler Zhuo walked forward. “Mr. Hu is Assistant Yan’s friend who he brought to the show.”

“So Assistant Yan is a guest too?”

“A guest had a sudden issue before the broadcast and couldn’t make it, so I stepped in.” Yan Feng laughed heartily. “I didn’t expect to get a chance to eat with all these big stars. Hope you don’t mind this rough guy.”

“How could we? Your build shows you’re well-trained.” Xiao Fen reached out and poked his arm muscle, getting a rough sense of his physical condition. “Let’s spar sometime.”

Yan Feng agreed readily. “Sure.”

Xiao Fen dropped his hand and saw Hu Juan staring fixedly at him, taking in every move. He slowly revealed a smile.

“Rare chance to run into each other here—let’s sit together.” Right after saying that, he let out an exaggerated cry of surprise and asked with concern, “What happened to your hand?”

The words drew every gaze in the room.

From earlier on, quite a few sharp-eyed people had noticed that Hu Juan’s right hand wore a black-and-white glove but hung low the whole time.

He awkwardly and embarrassedly hid his right hand behind his back on instinct. A flash of resentment crossed his eyes. He started to say something but instinctively glanced at Yan Feng. “Just… a little injury…”

Seeing Madam Lu wasn’t there, Yan Feng smoothed things over. “He’s a friend—don’t pick at old scars and make him uncomfortable.”

“I was just thinking of you and got concerned. I forgot it might be a painful time in your life.” Xiao Fen smiled, then his gaze turned cold and expressionless. “But since it’s a scar now, I’m sure you don’t want to say a word about it.”

“Why do you look so guilty the moment I mention your hand? My hand isn’t like yours…” Hu Juan’s voice shifted from gloating triumph to abrupt silence.

A terrifying instinct swept through his entire body.

His body trembled on reflex, his stomach churning with a physiological spasm. He wanted to back away, but his legs went soft.

The next moment, Xiao Fen revealed a warm smile and proactively hugged him, his tone coquettish.

“Hu Juan, you have no idea how surprised I was the moment I saw you here.”

“Great, now there’s one more helper.” He held on tight, his gaze locking straight onto Yan Feng behind Hu Juan as he smiled contentedly. “Will you help me, or side with a stranger?”

Xiao Fen trailed down Hu Juan’s arm to the hand hidden behind his back.

At the end of the wrist, only half a palm and a thumb remained.

So tragic. Wu Hao had gotten sent to the hospital in time. Didn’t his accomplice—his girlfriend—care about him at all?


This is an Escape Variety Show, Not a Fishing Game

This is an Escape Variety Show, Not a Fishing Game

这是逃亡综艺,不是钓鱼游戏
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

After completing 101 unlimited flow missions, Xiao Fen successfully retired and transmigrated as a background character in an entertainment industry novel.

The first second he opened his eyes, a uniformed staff member said, "You're under arrest."

Xiao Fen thought, A new chill retirement method unlocked?

The original body belonged to a minor 18th-tier celebrity in the book, someone who debuted purely on his looks. He sucked at acting, singing, and dancing, had a timid personality, and got dumped by his agency into a new variety show to squeeze out his last bit of value.

"No Escape" was a real-person chase-and-escape challenge program. The program crew arranged for celebrities and various civilian experts to play criminals, pitting them against the nation's top pursuit team leader, special forces members, criminal profilers, intel experts... As long as they evaded capture each time, the winner would claim a five hundred million prize.

Penniless Xiao Fen, without even a system: How much did you say?

Fang Si Ting, former Special Investigation Bureau tactical analyst and action division special inspector, was rigid and abstinent, never smiled, always buttoned up to the collar—a total workaholic. He handled over a hundred major serious cases with a zero failure rate. Plenty of criminals saw his stern, majestic face and went weak in the knees on the spot.

When the show aired—

While other guests scrambled to dodge surveillance and grab cash, Xiao Fen leisurely hit on hot guys in the city streets, knocked them out, and delivered them to the police station for hefty bounties.

While others tried every trick to hide their tracks, Xiao Fen disguised himself with explosive acting skills and strolled right out under the investigation team's noses.

While others fled to remote wildernesses, Xiao Fen located the pursuit team's building, joined them for lunch, listened to the vice squad officers' progress reports, and even flirted with the pursuit team leader.

At the start, the live stream chat:

【A new way to court death.】

【Who is this guy? Total airhead, wasting that face.】

【If he's not caught in ten minutes, I'll do a handstand in the shower.】

After airing, the live stream chat:

【Unbelievable doesn't even begin to cover it.】

【Officer, your fugitive delivery has arrived at the door.】

【Fake criminal catches real criminal—fighting crime starts with me!】

【Who said Brother Fen is just a pretty face? He had my legs going weak.】

【Brother Fen actually winked at Fang Yama. Tired of living, huh!】

After escaping under their noses multiple times, Fang Si Ting decided to join the chase personally, pitting his wits against Xiao Fen.

Global viewers held their breath daily for Xiao Fen's safety. After the finale, they got Fang Si Ting's on-air proposal to Xiao Fen instead.

【Mommy, the CP I ship is real!】

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