Gu Shiying’s single bout of illness had drained a considerable amount of his energy.
Back at the dorm, he slept through the entire afternoon.
When he woke up again, it was already five in the evening. Just in time for the school canteens to open.
Zhang Zhi’s message arrived simultaneously with the end of class time.
Zhang Zhi: Feeling any better? Want me to bring you food?
Just as Gu Shiying was about to reply that he could go to the canteen, he saw Fu Huan walk in carrying a food container.
Fu Huan: “Gu Shiying, I brought you dinner. It’s fairly bland, you don’t need to go to the canteen.”
Gu Shiying changed the message he was about to send to Zhang Zhi. “Thanks. How much was it? I’ll transfer it to you.”
“Just give me twenty.” Fu Huan had clearly figured Gu Shiying out, even setting a price point that catered to his mentality.
“…” Gu Shiying glanced at the exquisitely packaged meal box. This definitely cost more than twenty. “Are you sure?”
Fu Huan’s expression didn’t change. “Yeah. It’s just congee and some dim sum. Light and bland, perfect for you right now. No meat, that’s why it’s so cheap.”
Gu Shiying wasn’t stupid. “Tell me which shop it’s from. I’ll go buy some tomorrow.”
Fu Huan hadn’t expected him to counter with that. “Had to run an errand earlier. Bought it on the way back. Can’t remember exactly where.”
Gu Shiying couldn’t believe he was lying so smoothly. He truly had no way to deal with it. Fu Huan was determined to take care of him. Day after day, he was forced to accumulate more and more favors owed. He didn’t even feel right mentioning owing meals anymore. One meal after another, at this rate, when would they ever be settled?
But the congee was genuinely fragrant. There were actually some meat bits inside, along with the dim sum and greens—the right portion for a grown man. Fu Huan really did seem to know his taste.
It felt disturbingly like being perfectly handled by Fu Huan.
Gu Shiying’s acute gastroenteritis had garnered him concern from everyone. Yang Shuheng bought him expensive imported fruit, Guan Yu boiled hot water for him, and Zhang Zhi made time to come by, delivering notes from today’s classes and continuing their unfinished conversation from that morning.
Zhang Zhi: “Ying’er, I’m telling you, at the last city-wide meetup I went to, there was this incredibly pretty junior. She shares a common interest with you. Want me to introduce you two?”
Gu Shiying: “Common interest?”
Zhang Zhi: “Yeah, she’s also volunteered at the Benevolence Orphanage. Didn’t you go there quite a few times last year?”
Gu Shiying: “Someone from our school?”
Zhang Zhi: “Of course. A year below us, even. She can sing and dance, especially jazz dance, and she plays the piano beautifully. Around 5’7, which would look just right standing next to you. Tall, slim, and has a very sweet look. At our alumni meetup that day, lots of guys added her on WeChat. Just meet her, see what you think! At least make a new friend!”
Hearing Zhang Zhi push her so enthusiastically, Gu Shiying nodded. “Alright.”
Acting like an eager matchmaker, Zhang Zhi cheerfully sent the girl a message and even forwarded Gu Shiying’s photo. The girl agreed to let Zhang Zhi pass her contact info to Gu Shiying.
At that very moment, a loud crash interrupted Zhang Zhi’s actions. The sound of a flowerpot shattering came from the balcony.
Fu Huan walked in from the balcony to get the trash bin.
Gu Shiying tilted his head up to ask him, “What happened?”
Fu Huan: “Accidentally knocked the flowerpot over.”
Their dorm had a pothos plant left by a senior from the previous year. Usually, whoever was free would water it. The pothos was tenacious and had stubbornly survived.
Gu Shiying walked to the balcony and saw the ceramic pot was indeed shattered. “Should we buy a new pot?”
“Yeah, I’ll buy one later.” Fu Huan crouched down to clean up the broken ceramic shards. His gaze lingered on the pieces; every one had broken off quite smoothly.
Since Fu Huan was handling the cleanup, Gu Shiying didn’t bother with it further.
Just then, Zhang Zhi’s roommate called him for a badminton game. Zhang Zhi had to leave before Gu Shiying even came back in from the balcony. He shouted one last thing from outside.
“Ying’er, I’ve forwarded the junior’s WeChat card to you! Remember to add her! Third Brother is calling me, gotta run!”
Gu Shiying called back from the balcony, “Okay!”
What a truly great brother!
He secretly observed Fu Huan, only to see him simply bowing his head, picking up the fragments from the floor. It was hard to read much expression. Had it worked or not?
Although Fu Huan had helped him a lot lately, one thing was one thing, the other another. The distance that needed to be kept would be kept. What needed to be made known to him would be made known. Surely now he gets it. I like girls. It’s impossible for me to ever like a man.
However, preoccupied with the thought of using Zhang Zhi’s words to make Fu Huan understand he liked girls, when he picked up his phone again, he forgot to add the girl. Instead, he found himself searching for flowerpots on a shopping website.
Fu Huan walked past him from behind, carrying the bag of trash.
Gu Shiying thought he might say something, but Fu Huan simply took the trash and left the dorm. What Gu Shiying didn’t see was Fu Huan, as he passed his own desk, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
“You trying to smoke this plant to death with secondhand fumes?” Liang Qi had come downstairs after receiving Fu Huan’s text.
There was a small wooded area behind the boys’ dorms, along with a tiny lake. The school had landscaped it with a nice atmosphere. The flag banners for the May Day holiday still hung on the lamp posts flanking the path.
Fu Huan was sitting on a bench often used by couples, puffing out clouds of smoke. There was already a small pile of cigarette butts on the nearby bin, one of them still trailing a tiny, unextinguished wisp of smoke.
Liang Qi sat down next to Fu Huan. He noticed Fu Huan had been staring blankly at the calm lake surface ahead, his eyes unfocused, his face devoid of its usual aloof, indifferent mask. Instead, he wore a despairing expression, as if ready to leap into the center of the lake at any moment.
“Fu Huan.” Liang Qi clapped him hard on the shoulder. “What are you spacing out for?”
That expression was genuinely frightening.
Fu Huan snapped out of it. “Want one?”
Liang Qi had no choice but to join him for a smoke. After finishing one together, Liang Qi spoke again. “Not keeping an eye on your roommate anymore?”
Fu Huan let out a cold snort. The light in his eyes seemed completely extinguished. “He’s about to go meet some new girl.”
Liang Qi slung his arm over the back of the bench. “Honestly, I think you’ve got some serious patience. You’ve liked him for a while now, haven’t you?”
Fu Huan didn’t bother to hide it. “Mm.”
Liang Qi: “Have you ever thought about actually pursuing him?”
Fu Huan: “He’s straight.”
Liang Qi: “Straight guys can’t be pursued?”
Fu Huan: “It would scare him off.”
“What era are we living in? People aren’t as freaked out by homosexuality as some traditional types.” Liang Qi’s words carried a pointed undertone. “Fu Huan, you gotta fight for your own happiness. What if you actually succeed? Trying to boil a frog in warm water isn’t realistic. You need to be proactive.”
Fu Huan: “How do you pursue someone?”
Gu Shiying’s life was pretty simple. Apart from studying, he did occasional part-time work or volunteered. Fu Huan had never seen him date anyone. He had felt a sliver of possibility, even a bit grateful. But now, Gu Shiying had recently met a girl he had a favorable impression of, Zhang Zhi kept introducing him to girls, and now he even had intentions of meeting a new one. Fu Huan started to feel truly miserable, especially after their recent increase in contact. He couldn’t just pretend he didn’t see it.
Liang Qi: “You’re asking me? My playbook wouldn’t suit you at all.”
Fu Huan: “Indeed.”
Liang Qi: “But the most important thing in pursuing someone is sincerity. Chasing girls and chasing guys isn’t the same thing. How about you first… then…”
The more Fu Huan listened, the more absurd it sounded. “Would that even work?”
Liang Qi: “Won’t know until you try. Better than wasting your time sitting here moping.”
Fu Huan lit another cigarette, disagreeing with Liang Qi’s suggestion. “Sounds like a terrible idea you just pulled out of nowhere.”
Liang Qi: “What terrible idea? Then you can just watch Gu Shiying get all lovey-dovey with some girl, watch them get married and have kids, and be sure to give them a big, fat red envelope.”
Fu Huan: “…”
Seeing Fu Huan gone for quite a while and still not back, Gu Shiying looked at the pothos plant, abandoned and looking pitiful on the balcony.
He remembered two pieces of colorful cardboard he’d kept from a volunteer activity last year. He could make a temporary flowerpot.
He was quite good with his hands. Quickly, he found the cardboard and folded it into a colorful paper flowerpot, then placed the pothos inside. As long as the bottom didn’t get soaked, it should hold up until Fu Huan bought a new pot back.
After recovering from his gastroenteritis, Gu Shiying endured several more days of bland, tasteless food that might as well have been bird feed. Life instantly lost so many of its joys. Even attending class felt listless.
Thursday afternoon, the last two periods were PE class. When registering at the start of the term, Gu Shiying had foolishly listened to Zhang Zhi’s nonsense and signed up for swimming with him. However, he had absolutely zero talent for swimming. Over half the semester had passed, and his skills were still abysmal.
The two emerged from the boys’ locker room, changed into their swim trunks.
As they walked, Zhang Zhi raised his right arm to show Gu Shiying his bicep.
He said smugly, “Been playing badminton every day lately. How do you think I’m progressing? Do you smell this superb masculine pheromone radiating off me?”
With a look of utter disgust, Gu Shiying pushed him away. “Get lost, get lost. Stay away from me.”
The PE teacher led them through warm-up exercises. Then, those who could swim practiced on their own, while those still struggling continued to receive instruction from the teacher.
The teacher reminded them the final exam would require swimming a certain distance.
Gu Shiying’s face immediately fell. Why was it only he who couldn’t get it?
Could he truly be physically uncoordinated?
The PE teacher reminded them, “Students who aren’t strong swimmers yet, please stay away from the deep end. Pay attention to safety.”
What followed was their free practice time.
Zhang Zhi was already challenging other classmates to races. Gu Shiying, clinging to a kickboard, practiced his flutter kick. If I practice more, maybe it’ll click?
Actually, Gu Shiying wasn’t the only one who hadn’t learned. There was a female student also floundering in the water, just like him.
The girl splashed around and nearly bumped into him.
Gu Shiying quickly distanced himself. “Sorry.”
The girl: “You haven’t gotten the hang of it either?”
Gu Shiying: “Yeah. I’m pretty clumsy.”
The girl sighed. “I can’t find the trick either. Feels like the teacher is about to give up on me.”
Gu Shiying smiled. “Probably giving up on me first, actually. You swim better than me, your form is much more standard.”
The two novices exchanged technique tips for a bit, then their courage grew.
The girl suggested, “Want to try swimming together? See if we can make it? Let’s aim for that center line.”
Gu Shiying: “Sure, why not?”
The PE teacher had told him he thought his basics were okay. He’d learned the breathing, and his kicking and arm strokes were standard. He was just afraid of the water, didn’t dare let go and truly swim.
Gu Shiying and the girl encouraged each other. He let go of his kickboard and attempted to swim.
At first, he’d swim a bit, then stop. Then he got bolder. This time, he didn’t inhale water. His breathing was fine. His hard work was actually paying off. He gradually found the rhythm, and his limbs moved much more smoothly.
However, just as Gu Shiying was immersed in the joy of finally being able to swim, he unknowingly swam past the designated center line distance, heading straight for the deep end. When he instinctively tried to stop and stand on the pool floor, as he always did when he couldn’t swim well, he found his body sinking uncontrollably. His feet couldn’t touch the bottom. His head was slowly submerging.
Oh no! This is the deep end!
Under the psychological weight of his fear of water, Gu Shiying forgot everything the teacher had taught. He swallowed several mouthfuls of water. Water went up his nose. He suddenly began to panic, his arms flailing wildly in the water!
What do I do to float back up?!
Gurgle, gurgle…
Just as his entire body was sinking, an arm wrapped around his chest and pulled him upwards. A voice filled with security drilled directly into his mind.
【Gu Shiying, you absolute idiot. Could you please stop scaring me?】
You’re the idiot. I almost died.
A few seconds after Gu Shiying was hauled out of the water…
【He has a red, heart-shaped birthmark on his waist. This is lethal.】
“Pfft!”
Unable to hold it in, Gu Shiying sprayed a mouthful of water right onto Fu Huan’s face.
Fu Huan: “…”
