“…What the hell am I supposed to guess?” Jiang Chu glared at Qin Zui’s bedroom door. “Hobbling around like that, how impressive does he think he looks?”
Guessing wasn’t going to work. Testing it out wasn’t an option either.
How would he even test it? Test it with Qin Zui? Test what?
Jiang Chu remembered the other night when Qin Zui had flipped him onto the bed like a fighting eagle, and his tailbone still ached just thinking about it.
He had no idea how the kid came up with these things, or how he had the nerve to just say them out loud like that.
Try it.
As Jiang Chu completely dismissed Qin Zui’s “try it” as a way to change the subject, he inexplicably found himself mulling it over all night.
Could it be that Qin Zui had “tried it” with someone else?
Shit, who with!?
Liang Xiaojia?
No way. If he had gotten that feeling from trying with Liang Xiaojia, the two of them would have just gotten together already. No need for all this pointless messing around.
It was such a meaningless question, but even in his dreams he kept seeing Qin Zui saying “try it.”
The main characters in the “try it” scenario included, but weren’t limited to, Liang Xiaojia, Du Miaomiao, Gao Xia, and even himself.
At first, the scene was shifting all over the place. From Qin Zui leading Liang Xiaojia over to him, it suddenly switched to Du Miaomiao dragging Qin Zui off to catch fireflies, then to Gao Xia’s arm draped across Qin Zui’s shoulder, his hand knocking on the cast on Qin Zui’s calf. When the perspective came back home, it just kept looping through various images of Qin Zui.
From wiping on medicine to cutting off his pants, from the back view in the bathroom earlier to the curve of his ass, to the day he pressed on Qin Zui’s Adam’s apple and heard him call out that “Bro,” the ashtray digging into his butt…
The final image directly crossed over into the surreal, adding a montage element—he dreamed Qin Zui was in the bathroom, one hand against the wall, the other down below using the masturbation cup. He barged in yelling “Qin Zui!” and pushed open the door. Qin Zui didn’t stop what he was doing, just frowned slightly and turned his head to stare at him. At that moment, Zhou Teng leaped from underfoot. The power went out at home. He felt in his palm the echo of grabbing Qin Zui’s hand when he had fallen last time.
Right after that, old lady Zhao Lirong’s voice descended from the heavens—
“Palace Jade Liquid Wine, one eighty a cup… How’s the wine? Let me tell you a story…”
Jiang Chu felt a sudden weightlessness in his dream. He snapped his eyes open and stared at the ceiling. His phone was still “brr-ing” on the table, playing that ringtone: “It’s actually just Erguotou, mixed with some plain water…”
This alarm was one he had set as a joke when he made a bet with Da Ben. He reached out and turned it off. As he moved his arm, he realized that his hand had somehow ended up inside his pants, gripping hard down below.
“…Fuck.” He frowned and sat up, staring at his own eager arousal.
He hadn’t done it for too long, probably.
It was fucking crazy.
“I told you, you’ve got a problem,” Da Ben said, taking a noisy slurp of his herbal tea. “It’s not like you didn’t live through high school yourself. Why are you so obsessed with whether your brother’s dating or not? What’s the worst that could happen with a guy dating?”
Jiang Chu hadn’t told Da Ben about Qin Zui’s orientation. He’d only vaguely expressed his concern about Qin Zui having a girlfriend so young, but he’d been interrupted before he could even finish.
“And have you noticed,” Da Ben continued, “ever since you brought this little brother home, you can’t get through three sentences without mentioning ‘Qin Zui’?” Da Ben went on. “Qin Zui comes, Qin Zui goes. Right now, you’re acting just like those moms in your social media feed who are constantly posting about their kids, their cats, their dogs, and can’t stop.”
“That’s not really true, is it?” Jiang Chu chuckled. “I don’t post about Zhou Teng that much either.”
“You see?” Da Ben sucked a slice of hawthorn into his mouth, then spat it back out with a “pfft.” “A cat that looks like a Bull Terrier is one thing best left unposted.”
“Hey!” Jiang Chu grimaced, disgusted.
“I need to create a specific group chat for you and Old Du,” Da Ben said, pulling out his phone.
“What group?” Jiang Chu asked.
“The Future Empty Nesters Reserve – and also the Prematurely-A-Holic-Live-In-Daddies Group,” Da Ben said.
“What a mess of nonsense.” Jiang Chu laughed for a while.
Da Ben wasn’t wrong, though. Jiang Chu felt it too. Ever since Qin Zui arrived, the whole axis of his life had shifted.
Of course, his life hadn’t had much of a center before. He ate and drank by himself, played around with this little failing company, killed time with Da Ben and the others, and was content enough.
Adding Qin Zui into the mix meant he was always thinking about him.
At first, when Qin Zui went to school during the day, there wasn’t much to worry about.
Now with Qin Zui’s leg being messed up, he’d been late and left work early several times. He was constantly daydreaming at the office, figuring out what to buy and cook for Qin Zui to help him recover. He’d dumped all his work onto Da Ben and the others.
Everyone was already busy enough. That morning he’d seen Tang Cai dealing with a client who had scrapped their proposal three times, pulling her hair out in frustration.
“Let’s all grab dinner after work tonight,” Jiang Chu said, thinking he should make it up to them. “Everyone’s going.”
“Who? Fang Zi and the crew, or the whole office?” Da Ben asked.
“The office.” Jiang Chu pulled out his phone to text Qin Zui. “Qin Zui’s classmates are coming over to see him today, so it’s a good chance to give them some space anyway.”
~~~~~~~~
“We’re almost there. Is your brother home?” Gao Xia asked on the phone. “Should I buy some fruit or something?”
“No, don’t be so fake.” Qin Zui limped over to the balcony and pushed the window open, looking towards the residential entrance. It was already dark at 6:30 PM. “Just come straight up. It’s Building 1, Unit 2, Apartment 403.”
“What do you mean fake?” Gao Xia protested. “This is genuine friendship between classmates. Look, besides me, who else is really coming to see how you’re doing? Those other two are just here for the fun of it.”
After that sincere declaration, he added, “Alright, forget it, I won’t buy anything. We’ll just eat something at your place. I saw Du Miaomiao and Lu Yao were looking at a giant one-and-a-half-meter fruit basket. I have to stop them. If they make me carry that thing upstairs, I’d rather go back to school and do math problems.”
Qin Zui smiled and hung up.
For some reason, it suddenly hit him that this might be the first time in his life he had classmates come to his place to “hang out.”
Back home in his hometown, no one wanted to go near a drunkard’s house, except for Liang Xiaojia, who would wait at his door every day to walk to school together. He didn’t like getting close to those classmates either. Good students didn’t associate with him, and the ones around him were just shady delinquents. It was fine to grab a meal or hit an internet café together when they didn’t feel like going to class, but real friendship? Impossible.
For a while, back in the period when Qin Zui’s “hatred” for Qin Shuman was strongest, he’d come home and see his dad sprawled out on the couch, snoring, clutching a liquor bottle. He couldn’t even name the feeling inside him. In a daze, he felt like he was looking at his future self. It made him irritable and suffocated, yet utterly powerless to change it, with nowhere to vent.
Someone had once told him that change always started from a single point. When your environment changes, you will change too. Or, if you change, the world around you will change with it. But the prerequisite was that this “point” had to be in motion. You couldn’t just expect everything to get better while you stood still.
Back then, Qin Zui thought the only real chance he had to “change” in his life was to pass the exams and leave.
To get into a university far away from that hometown. Any place would do, as long as it was out.
But now, being here, everything about him had changed. Inside and out, his life, his whole environment. Trading eighteen years of his life had “bought” him a Jiang Chu. He suddenly felt he couldn’t tell anymore whether his luck, or his “fate,” was good or bad.
Watching Gao Xia and the other two clowning around as they entered the building, Qin Zui roughly figured out the elevator time and opened the door just as Du Miaomiao was raising his hand to knock. He nearly slapped Qin Zui on the nose and yanked his hand back in surprise.
“Pretty good ears,” Gao Xia said with a grin.
“I just timed it.” Qin Zui pulled out a few pairs of disposable slippers from the shoe cabinet—Jiang Chu had dug them up the day before—and handed one pair to each of them.
“Is your foot any better?” Lu Yao handed him a large paper bag of desserts and took the slippers. She poked her head into the living room and said, “You two guys living together and it’s actually pretty clean.”
“He just cleaned it,” Gao Xia and Du Miaomiao said in unison.
Qin Zui gave them both a thumbs-up. Lu Yao scoffed, a mix of disgust and amusement. “See? The universal understanding of messy men.”
The three of them had come to see him, and it was exactly what Gao Xia had said on the phone. They didn’t want to go to evening study hall and were looking for a place to hide out.
But now that they were all sitting in a row on the sofa, the atmosphere was still a bit awkward.
After all, there was a girl here, and only one.
If it were just a bunch of guys, they could have been more casual. Turned on the TV, watched a movie, played a game. With a girl around, even if they usually acted like animals at school, they still had to show some restraint.
Qin Zui brought out some fruit and drinks. They split the desserts they’d brought, then just sat there staring at the TV, cycling through channels.
“You and your brother just hang out here like this every day?” Du Miaomiao, who was more relaxed because of the bond between his uncle and Jiang Chu, strolled around the room with his juice. “Isn’t it boring?”
“Yeah, now that you mention it, you’re both just living with a single brother or uncle,” Gao Xia said, giving up on finding anything to watch. He pulled out his phone, thinking about streaming a variety show.
“It’s not boring.” Qin Zui pushed the extra piece of cake over to Lu Yao.
“I don’t eat at night, I’m on a diet. Leave it for your brother. And make sure you tell him I bought it,” Lu Yao said, waving her hand. She turned her head and saw Zhou Teng tentatively poking his head out onto the balcony. “Whoa!” she exclaimed, trotting over. “You guys have a cat! Oh my god, why does he look so familiar…?”
She went to the balcony to grab Zhou Teng. Du Miaomiao asked which room was Qin Zui’s, then went inside to poke around. Gao Xia leaned back on the sofa, studied Qin Zui’s leg for a bit, then started pulling out exam papers from his backpack.
Just as he was pulling them out, Du Miaomiao shouted “Fuck!” from the bedroom, laughing. “Qin Zui, get in here!”
“What’s wrong?” Gao Xia asked.
“You come in too! Don’t ask, just hurry up!” Du Miaomiao ran out laughing, turned the TV volume up to double, grabbed Qin Zui and Gao Xia by an arm each and pulled them towards the room. He yelled back at Lu Yao, “Lu Yao, don’t come in here! We’re going to try on Qin Zui’s underwear!”
“Are you crazy!?” Lu Yao shrieked. Grabbing a cat teaser, she crouched on the balcony to play with Zhou Teng, not wanting to even look back.
“What kind of underwear?” Gao Xia laughed too, elbowing Qin Zui. “Don’t tell me you’ve got some sexy styles?”
Qin Zui’s first thought was those two pairs of Ice Silk Leopard Print Bullet Briefs. Jiang Chu had bought them as a joke when he first arrived. They’d been thrown in the closet ever since, not even washed.
“You rummaged through my closet?” He smacked Du Miaomiao on the back of the head.
“Bullshit!” Du Miaomiao rubbed his head. “What is it with you two brothers? You both hit people in the same weird spots!”
He rushed into Qin Zui’s bedroom and pulled a long cardboard box down from in front of the bookshelf. Turning around, he waved it at them. “You just put this thing on your bookshelf? Your brother didn’t see it and break your other leg?”
“Holy shit!” Gao Xia’s eyes focused, and he immediately started cracking up. “Is this what I think it is?”
He pushed the door half-closed, took the still-sealed masturbation cup from Du Miaomiao, and studied it with him for a second. They both gave Qin Zui a thumbs up. “Damn, Qin Zui. You really live up to your name.”
Qin Zui didn’t even know if he should tell them that his brother wouldn’t just break his legs, but had actually given it to him personally. If anyone was the reason for all the crazy crap, it was Jiang Chu, whose head was always full of pervy thoughts. He’d be the one to break a leg from being too damn horny.
Seeing those two geeking out over it, he found it pretty funny. Raising one eyebrow, he reached into his nightstand drawer, pulled out the bottle of Durex Warming Lube, and tossed that over too.
“What’s thi—?” Gao Xia caught it, took one look, and started howling with laughter again. “Are you serious? You’re fully equipped!”
Du Miaomiao grabbed it, gave it a shake, and tossed it back to Gao Xia. “He’s already used it!”
“Man, I can’t stop laughing.” Gao Xia sat down next to Qin Zui. Du Miaomiao squeezed in on the other side. They both started examining the masturbation cup. “Can we open it? The seal is still on it. Did you just buy it? Can we open it and see?”
“Go ahead.” Qin Zui had genuinely never opened it. He’d actually thought about it once, but he got this weird feeling that using it would be like using Jiang Chu. He held back and didn’t touch it.
“If you haven’t even opened it, what did you use all that lube for!?” Du Miaomiao asked as he tore at the seal.
“Jerking off,” Qin Zui said.
“Damn, what’s it feel like?” Gao Xia’s voice dropped really low. There was a secret thrill and excitement that came up when guys talked about this kind of stuff. “Is it good?”
“It’s alright.” Qin Zui didn’t want to say too much. Lu Yao was still in the living room. It just wasn’t respectful to have three guys in a room examining this kind of thing.
“I…” Du Miaomiao popped the cup out of the box, took one look at it, and recoiled like he’d been burned, flinging it into Gao Xia’s lap. “How does it actually look like that!?”
“This is so…” Gao Xia peered into the opening of the cup, his mouth dropping open. “…realistic.”
“Have you seen the real thing?” Du Miaomiao immediately asked with narrowed eyes.
“Haven’t seen a pig run, but I’ve definitely eaten pork!” Gao Xia flipped him the bird.
“People say you haven’t eaten pork, but you’ve definitely seen a pig run!” Du Miaomiao yelled back.
“Alright, that’s enough. Take a look and then put it away.” Qin Zui glanced at the shape of the cup and frowned.
“You really haven’t used it?” Gao Xia elbowed him again.
“You wanna use it?” Du Miaomiao reached over, grabbed it, and tried to shove it against Gao Xia’s crotch, reaching across Qin Zui. “Wanna try it out for real?”
“Why are you trying it on me? Try it on the owner!” Gao Xia quickly blocked him, and wrestled Du Miaomiao’s arm down towards Qin Zui.
The three of them were tangled up, messing around, when the bedroom door suddenly swung open.
They thought it was Lu Yao. They scrambled to hide the thing under their butts, but froze mid-tangle, turning their heads.
Jiang Chu was standing there, gripping the door handle, looking a bit stunned at their current formation, the masturbation cup sticking up between the three pairs of legs, and the bottle of Durex Warming Lube that had somehow rolled onto Qin Zui’s belly.
“…Bro.” Gao Xia managed to get the word out first.
Jiang Chu didn’t say anything. Qin Zui thought he smelled alcohol on him; his eyelids and cheekbones were flushed a little red.
He heard Lu Yao’s footsteps approaching. Jiang Chu stared at them, then raised his hand, pointed at the cup, and jabbed his finger twice. “Put it away.” Then he slammed the door shut.
