Chapter 73 Part 2

Gu Lianzhao clearly didn’t buy it. He propped one hand on the table, resting his head in his palm as he leaned slightly toward Liu Yuanxun, tilting his face up to gaze at him. Relentlessly, he pressed, “What exactly are you panicking about?”

Liu Yuanxun knew that if he so much as lowered his eyes, he’d meet that stare, so he kept his gaze darting away evasively. He looked utterly guilty.

But that guilt only made Gu Lianzhao tense up. His originally relaxed posture gradually stiffened, and even his breathing grew labored. The flame he’d been suppressing deep in his heart began to lick at the seal holding it down. Once it tasted even a hint of freedom, it would burst forth without hesitation.

Liu Yuanxun could feel Gu Lianzhao’s eyes on him. He knew he couldn’t dodge the truth any longer, but he worried that speaking it aloud would anger the other man. “Let’s agree on this first—you can’t get mad.”

Gu Lianzhao stared at him unblinkingly and murmured his assent. “Mm.”

Liu Yuanxun blinked, then lowered his eyes to meet Gu Lianzhao’s as he explained in a small voice, “I really do see you as a friend. But you’re a ger, after all, and I… I know you don’t care about status, but I might… I’ve never really been around a ger before, so… It’s not disdain, and I’m not looking down on you. I just think… you’re a ger, after all…”

The more he explained, the more muddled it got. Liu Yuanxun could only plead with Gu Lianzhao for understanding. “A’Qiao, do you get it?”

The more Liu Yuanxun spoke, the tighter Gu Lianzhao’s heart clenched. This vague explanation could be interpreted a dozen ways, and he desperately wished he could crawl inside the man’s mind and demand a straight answer.

But he wasn’t some immortal with mind-reading powers. He could only ask bluntly, “Ling Qing is a woman. Why weren’t you nervous when she hugged your arm?”

The question was so straightforward that Liu Yuanxun blurted out his response. “Because I knew Ling Qing when she was just a kid. Even after she grew up, that never changed. I’ve always seen her as a little sister.”

Gu Lianzhao shot to his feet, his dark eyes pinning Liu Yuanxun’s with an intensity that carried an inexplicable pressure. Liu Yuanxun instinctively stepped back, but Gu Lianzhao advanced to close the gap. “You two aren’t blood-related.”

True, there was no blood tie between them. But they’d known each other for a full decade, spending countless days side by side. Even actual siblings might not be as close as he and Ling Qing.

“A’Qiao…” Liu Yuanxun held his ground this time but still reflexively pressed a hand to Gu Lianzhao’s chest. “Why do I feel like… something’s off with you?”

Those words snapped Gu Lianzhao out of it. His heart jolted, and he blinked rapidly, stepping back along with Liu Yuanxun’s push. “I just find it strange. There’s no blood relation, so why can you accept Ling Qing getting close but reject me so much?”

He softened his tone and lowered his gaze, reining in his aggressive aura. “Aren’t we friends? If we’re friends, why do you treat Ling Qing differently from me?”

Liu Yuanxun hesitated, unsure how to respond. He’d been about to say that Ling Qing never got this close to him, but on second thought, every seemingly improper moment with Gu Lianzhao had some reason behind it.

Still, he’d noticed early on that Gu Lianzhao was different from him.

When they’d been examining the corpse of the handyman from Nameless Residence, Gu Lianzhao had revealed his stance: perhaps from seeing so many bodies, he viewed men and women as mere human shells with no real difference. He’d never put much stock in his identity as a ger.

But Liu Yuanxun couldn’t do the same. His morals, his conduct—they’d all been drilled into him by his tutor, straight from the books, without deviation. Gu Lianzhao might disregard his ger status, but Liu Yuanxun couldn’t use their friendship as an excuse to touch him casually.

Moreover, ever since the imperial physicians had warned in his childhood that he needed to preserve his health, Consort Mother had replaced all the palace maids around him with momos and eunuchs. While other princes were learning the ways of men and women, his primary concern had been surviving to see tomorrow. He’d never had the chance to be around women or gers.

Even with Ling Qing nearby, he’d met her when she was still half a child. How could he have realized she was a girl?

Gu Lianzhao was the first ger he’d ever encountered in his life. Liu Yuanxun treated him as a friend, unbound by worldly standards, unperturbed by his free-spirited ways and lack of gender boundaries. But in his heart, Gu Lianzhao remained a ger.

The moment he acknowledged the person at his side as a ger, every little detail of their interactions magnified endlessly. The warmth, the scent, the presence… Every difference screamed that Gu Lianzhao wasn’t Ling Ting, that he wasn’t someone Liu Yuanxun could touch freely or treat casually.

Yet he could sense how sensitive Gu Lianzhao was, how much he cared about Liu Yuanxun’s opinions. He feared saying the wrong thing would spark a misunderstanding—or worse, hurt him.

That hesitation and distress in Liu Yuanxun’s eyes only chilled the restless beating of Gu Lianzhao’s heart bit by bit.

Gu Lianzhao took two steps back, putting even more distance between them. He looked away from Liu Yuanxun’s face. “Forget it. No need to explain. It was a small thing anyway.”

By his usual temperament, he would have exploited Liu Yuanxun’s good nature, stormed off in a huff, and left the room. But Liu Yuanxun’s words from Lamp Melody Alley pierced through time like a pair of gentle, indulgent hands, tugging at his frayed emotions.

Liu Yuanxun had said: “People need to speak properly to avoid hurting their bonds. You can’t just vent your feelings recklessly.”

But he couldn’t voice what was truly in his heart, so he made an excuse about needing to wash his hands and turned toward the side room.

He’d barely taken a step when he froze.

Liu Yuanxun caught the hem of his robe, his gentle voice laced with indulgence. “Look at you. We agreed no getting mad, and now you’re upset again.”

Gu Lianzhao deliberately lightened his tone, trying to sound milder. “I’m not upset.”

Liu Yuanxun didn’t let go. “Then why are you walking away?”

Gu Lianzhao wouldn’t admit it. “I’m not walking away. I’m heading inside.”

“But you’re still upset, aren’t you?” Liu Yuanxun tugged lightly at the fabric. It was the gentlest pull, yet Gu Lianzhao still stepped back and turned around.

Liu Yuanxun laughed, his voice softening even more. “Come on, tell me. Why are you upset? Is it because I treat you differently from Ling Qing, so you’re throwing a little tantrum?”

He was too kind—kind enough to indulge him like a naughty child. Gu Lianzhao had never met anyone who spoke to him this way, not even his own mother. For the first time, he realized that his abrasive personality could be seen as “throwing a tantrum” in someone else’s eyes.

But tantrums required the right audience. When no one coaxed you, they only bred resentment. When someone did, even a outburst became a form of coquetry.

Vicious people were quick to take advantage, but in that moment, Gu Lianzhao reined himself in. He looked down at Liu Yuanxun’s pale fingertips and mumbled, “Something like that.”

What he hoped for, though, was the polar opposite of what Liu Yuanxun assumed. He wasn’t angry because Liu Yuanxun treated him differently from Ling Qing. On the contrary, he wanted Liu Yuanxun to treat him differently from everyone else.

Even if it fell far short of love, the mere fact that his nearness flustered Liu Yuanxun—that he drew a line between Gu Lianzhao and Ling Qing—was encouragement enough.

Liu Yuanxun held his robe’s corner and pondered for a moment before explaining slowly, “A’Qiao, I know you never cared for dogma or rules. I agree the world should loosen its shackles on women and gers. You can get close to me without a second thought, but I can’t be careless in return.”

Gu Lianzhao lifted his eyes to watch him silently, waiting for more.

Liu Yuanxun thought it over and continued evenly, “The world binds people differently, so the way you and I break free is different too. Society shackles you with the three obediences and four virtues, demanding chastity and purity, so you defy it by ignoring the rules and living freely. But men face few such bonds to begin with, so the way I shed mine is through self-restraint. I must observe propriety, respect you, keep my distance, and always remind myself that you’re a ger…”

At that, he recalled how Gu Lianzhao had carried him around several times during his illnesses. He paused awkwardly. “Ling Qing and I go way back—her deepest impression on me is as a little sister. But you’re the first adult ger I’ve ever been close to… so…”

“The first?” Gu Lianzhao repeated the words, emphasizing them. Compared to his usual tone, they came out strangely pointed.

Liu Yuanxun could hear the delight in his voice, though.

“Yes.” Liu Yuanxun assumed he’d understood. “That’s how it is.”

Just then, clouds veiled the moon outside, making the candlelight in the room stand out more starkly. The flame danced in Liu Yuanxun’s clear eyes, lending him an extra layer of gentleness.

Under that gaze, the last traces of anger in Gu Lianzhao’s heart faded away.

“Got it,” he said, looking into Liu Yuanxun’s eyes. “Tomorrow, I’ll go with you.”

“Huh?” The topic shifted so abruptly that Liu Yuanxun blanked for a moment. Then he remembered: “together” meant to Grand Secretary Meng’s residence.

“Isn’t the Imperial Prison busy?”

Gu Lianzhao replied, “Not busy. Nothing urgent.”

Liu Yuanxun let out an “oh” and accepted it. Gu Lianzhao took his sleeve and guided him back to sit at the table.

Ling Qing still wasn’t back, and Ling Ting was watching the kitchen staff. The room held only the two of them.

After their brief spat and quick reconciliation, Liu Yuanxun thought of Gu Lianzhao’s earlier behavior and couldn’t help chuckling softly.

Gu Lianzhao whipped his head around at the sound, instantly alert. “Are you laughing at me?”

Liu Yuanxun pressed his lips together, trying to stifle it, but failed. He turned his head and laughed, his shoulders shaking.

Gu Lianzhao asked again, his voice cool and eerie. “Are you laughing at me?”

They weren’t strangers anymore—Liu Yuanxun wasn’t intimidated by the chill in his tone. He suppressed his smile and turned back, honest as ever. “If I’d known from the start how easy you are to coax, I wouldn’t have been such a mess on our wedding night.”

He hadn’t always been this easy to soothe.

Our wedding night…

On their wedding night, Liu Yuanxun had tried to coax him too.

When Gu Lianzhao had been escorted—half-dragged—to the bridal bed, he’d still clung to a shred of awareness and a bit of strength. His groom beside him, though, dressed in vibrant red wedding robes, had a face pale as paper and breath so faint it seemed he might stop at any moment.

He had come with a do-or-die determination. Even in his worst-case scenario, he still came out ahead. He had planned to tough it out through one night, treat it as nothing more than a dog bite, then bide his time to kill Liu Yuanxun and ensure the entire Gu Family was annihilated—nine clans exterminated—for the crime of harming the imperial family.

But looking back now, the difference between the man he had been then and the man he was now felt as vast as if two lifetimes had passed between them.