Chen Ji glanced sideways and saw that it was Liu Datie. He gave him a mild and polite smile. “Up so early? Perfect, breakfast is ready.”
Liu Datie felt a strange sense of contrast. When Chen Ji moved and spoke, he had a bit more vitality and less of that gloomy death qi. He seemed like a living person now.
{Those who called this brother terrifying yesterday, step forward! Exactly where is he terrifying?}
{Enough chit-chat—what’s this brother’s account? I’m following right now!}
{Da Tie, what good deed did you do to get lost and run into such a handsome guy? Slamming the table.jpg}
Liu Datie coughed once and hurried over to Chen Ji. “Brother, you’re up early too, huh?! What a coincidence! Where’s breakfast? I’ll grab it!”
But Second Master Huang was even quicker. He had already leaped onto Chen Ji’s shoulder, his fluffy tail swaying back and forth behind him. Chen Ji reached out and cupped Second Master Huang in the palm of his hand before sitting down on a nearby stone bench. “It’s in the kitchen. Just head north.”
Liu Datie nodded and immediately strode off to fetch it. Chen Ji stroked Second Master Huang gently from his head all the way to the tip of his tail. Second Master Huang flipped over contentedly in Chen Ji’s hand, half his body leaning against Chen Ji’s arm as he was kneaded like a limp noodle.
Chen Ji scratched his belly. “Second Grandpa, you’ve worked hard.”
Second Master Huang let out a little humph. 【What’s so hard about that… What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry!】
“Eight treasures porridge, bamboo shoots, and pickled mustard greens,” Chen Ji replied. Seeing Second Master Huang’s dissatisfied look, he added slowly, “The eight treasures porridge is nice and sweet. The bamboo shoots are made from the tender tips of sweet dragon bamboo, braised in oil—they’re super fresh. The pickled mustard is from the tender hearts, crisp and succulent… Come on, Second Grandpa, give it a try for my sake. My eyes aren’t great right now, but once they’re better, I’ll make you something more lavish, okay?”
Second Master Huang’s fluffy tail swept across Chen Ji’s arm. 【Like I’m short on that stuff from you? Hmph hmph~】
Meanwhile, Liu Datie had entered the kitchen. It had been too dark the night before, and he’d been starving—not to mention terrified of being dragged into some pyramid scheme den—so he hadn’t looked closely. Now, in the morning light, he filmed the kitchen from top to bottom. “Whoa, this kitchen is seriously high-end!”
Since Chen Ji lived up on the mountain, transporting supplies was such a hassle that the fridge was the largest model on the market. Its deep gray metal-brushed surface screamed premium tech. Next to it sat an ice bar and a freezer, all taking up an entire wall. The opposite wall held the gas stove and a full lineup of small appliances—from microwave to oven to air fryer, even a stand mixer. Tucked into the northwest corner was a traditional earthen stove. It had everything.
“See, see? And you guys said this brother was some kind of monster in disguise! Would a monster set up a kitchen like this?!” Liu Datie joked with his live stream viewers. “How about we check out what’s in the fridge? Brother probably won’t mind, right…”
The instant he opened the fridge door, Liu Datie slammed it shut again. The chat exploded with ????. He waved it off. “You guys are better off not seeing this…”
“No, no, there’s nothing illegal in there… No human remains either! Don’t jump to conclusions! It’s just… the kind of stuff that might make you queasy.” Liu Datie kept his tone light. “For everyone’s mental and physical health, let’s skip it!”
{Da Tie, you’re getting cocky, huh?}
{We get it—time for the gift spam.}
Sure enough, a flashy special effect lit up the screen. Liu Datie perked up. “Thanks to my bro Mengzi-ge for the rocket ship! Alright, let’s reveal the secrets of this brother’s fridge right now!”
With that, he flung open the door and aimed the camera inside. There, on the top shelf, sat a massive king crab. Below it were slabs of salmon and tuna, boxes of mantis shrimp, a neat tray of matsutake mushrooms, some unusually tempting fruits of unknown variety, and a bunch of seemingly plain but eye-wateringly expensive Chinese herbs upon closer inspection.
{Perfect—other people’s “back home farming” sure ain’t like my “back home farming”!}
{Damn, how much does it cost to eat like this deep in the boonies?!}
{Please tell me this is scripted!}
{Shut it quick—I’m still a kid, I can’t handle this!}
Talk about good timing. Chen Ji needed some nourishing, and the System Cat figured seafood packed tons of quality protein. With Chen Ji having a bit of cash now, it had gone on a spree with the affordable stuff. The delivery had arrived just yesterday; it was planning to have Chen Ji cook it up today. But before Chen Ji could spot it, Liu Datie had beaten him to the punch.
Liu Datie closed the fridge door and put on a show of regret, though delight danced in his eyes. “Heh heh, looks like you lot won’t get a taste. No worries—I’ll eat it for everyone tonight!”
{Get lost!}
{Pfft—!}
“But seriously, this isn’t scripted!” Liu Datie insisted. That’s when he spotted a plump orange-and-white cat padding in with elegant steps. It hopped right onto the gas stove. Liu Datie moved to shoo it away, but the cat settled down nearby, staring intently at him like it was supervising.
Suddenly, Liu Datie remembered why he was there. Damn—he’d come for breakfast, but he’d gotten so caught up peeking at the fridge inventory that ten minutes had flown by!
He hurriedly lifted the sand pot from the stove. The orange-and-white cat lightly leaped onto the nearby ice bar, still staring holes into him. Liu Datie blinked in confusion and pointed at himself. “…You mean I can take it?”
The System Cat, of course, didn’t respond. Ever the picture of feline poise, it lowered its head and licked a paw, pretending not to understand.
Liu Datie walked over dubiously and opened the ice bar. It was mostly drinks, but on the top shelf sat three dishes covered in cling film, filled with fresh-looking veggies. This had to be it. He grabbed a large tray, loaded everything up, and carried it out.
“Is this it?” Liu Datie scratched his head. “I forgot to ask earlier. I got the porridge from the pot and the three little veggie dishes from the ice bar…”
Chen Ji smiled faintly. “That’s them.”
At that moment, the System Cat jumped into Chen Ji’s arms. But Second Master Huang was still lounging there. Second Master Huang flipped like a hawk in midair to pounce on the System Cat. The System Cat wasn’t one to back down—it lunged to bite right back. In a flash, the cat and the weasel traded two blows, fierce as a showdown atop the Forbidden City.
Liu Datie watched, utterly dumbfounded.
As they glared at each other, Chen Ji suddenly grabbed one in each hand from left and right. “Enough, you two. Time to eat.”
With that, Chen Ji fastened a harness onto the System Cat and pulled a bow tie from his pocket, clipping it on. The System Cat now sported a pair of orange bow-tie wings.
Second Master Huang’s bow tie had vanished who-knows-where, but Chen Ji didn’t mind. He fetched another harness, and in seconds, Second Master Huang had a pair of big red bow-tie wings too.
The weasel and the cat eyed each other. Upon spotting the other’s bow ties, they both turned their heads away in unison, too lazy to bother.
{YO—too cute! Auntie’s gotta take a big smooch!}
{How can they be this adorable?!}
{Ordering the matching set ASAP!}
Liu Datie said with difficulty, “…Is this really okay?”
“They’ll take them off themselves if they don’t like it,” Chen Ji replied. He set both down on the ground and called out, “Don’t just stand there holding it—put it down and dig in.”
Liu Datie placed everything on the table. Before long, he lost all urge to talk, even forgetting his live stream as he scarfed down the food with gusto. Once he’d polished off the table, he wiped his mouth, patted his belly, and sighed in admiration. “How is this porridge so good… It must’ve taken you ages to cook it this soft and glutinous, right, brother?”
Chen Ji raised an eyebrow slightly. “No, this is Qinqin Eight Treasures Porridge.”
“…Huh?!” Those five words spun in Liu Datie’s head for a few seconds before he realized what it was—instant canned porridge? And it tasted this good?!
Chen Ji explained, “Heat it up, and it’s pretty great.”
Liu Datie silently gave him a thumbs-up.
The chat: {Just ordered two cases!}
{I refuse to believe it—heading downstairs to buy some now!}
Liu Datie had already pulled out his phone. He asked, “So what about those bamboo shoots that were so damn good? Store-bought too?”
The bamboo shoot shreds had left the deepest impression on Liu Datie. They were so intensely flavorful that eating them solo would scorch your tongue. Only mellowed by the porridge did that ultimate umami burst forth on your taste buds. Mouthwateringly good.
He was already set: If Chen Ji said they were bought, he’d order ten or eight cases on the spot and feast at home.
“Those weren’t bought,” Chen Ji said. “We dug them up on the mountain… It just rained, so the bamboo shoots should be sprouting, and there’ll be mushrooms too. If you like, we can go pick some later.”
“…?!” Liu Datie blurted, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Chen Ji gave Liu Datie half an hour to rest and pack his things. He himself headed to the main hall to pay respects to the Mountain Lord. Hearing this, Liu Datie tagged along. He lit incense first, then stood aside filming everything in the hall. Unwittingly, the camera drifted to Chen Ji.
The poised young man calmly cleared the offerings from the incense table. He fetched a cloth, wiped it clean, set out fresh offerings, drew incense fire to light them, bowed, and inserted the sticks. He performed the entire ritual smoothly, clearly the result of long practice.
{It’s making even me feel calm…}
{Wanna go on a trip…}
{Wonder how much the temple stay costs… Definitely can’t swing hundreds of thousands!}
For some reason, Liu Datie stayed silent, just quietly filming. When the lens caught the statue on the altar—draped in purple silk—he held his breath instinctively. Some gut feeling made him pan away quickly without lingering.
{Even though I didn’t see much, that Mountain Lord feels so imposing…}
{+1, kinda scary.}
{That’s the majesty needed to protect the mountain woods!}
It wasn’t until Chen Ji led him out the main hall doors that Liu Datie exhaled in relief. He joked, “Brother, you really aren’t worried about thieves in this temple… Looks like a ton of ancient stuff.”
“Nothing much—they just look old. Not worth a dime,” Chen Ji explained. He was about to urge Liu Datie to change clothes when the sound of motorcycles rumbled from outside. The foreman bellowed, “Boss! We’re here to start work!”
In short order, Liu Datie saw six or seven workers file in. They greeted Chen Ji, then dove into the job despite the light rain, working enthusiastically.
Chen Ji said, “Go pack your stuff first. In twenty minutes, I’ll take you up the mountain.”
Liu Datie wasn’t sure what to make of it all. He mumbled an acknowledgment and got to packing his things. Once he’d changed into a fresh set of clothes, he flashed a grin at the camera for his live stream audience.
“See? It’s all your fault—you guys scared me half to death! But look, the foreman’s here to handle the renovations. Nothing suspicious about that at all!”
The live stream chat lit up:
{What if the foreman outside is an accomplice? Just waiting to kidnap you!}
{Doubt it? Hang tight. Your buddy’s gonna offer you a ride down the mountain on his motorcycle, and poof—you vanish.}
“I don’t buy it! Quit stirring up trouble!” Liu Datie retorted.
He finished packing and trailed after Chen Ji as they headed out the door. Suddenly, Chen Ji paused, as if remembering something important.
“If you want to head down the mountain this afternoon,” Chen Ji said, “you could go with the foreman. It’ll be easier—you can hop on the back of his motorcycle.”
Liu Datie’s eyelid twitched. Damn it—the chat bros had guessed it right on the money!
