Chapter 96: Live Stream 8

Once Chen Ji led Liu Datie out the door, Liu Datie kept glancing back over his shoulder every so often. After he’d done it several times, Chen Ji finally noticed and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“That…” Liu Datie gestured vaguely, hesitating before he spoke. “That construction team—you’re just letting them start work on their own? You sure that’s okay?”

Chen Ji caught on that he was really asking why he wasn’t worried about the house being stripped bare. After all, those centuries-old antiques were worth a pretty penny. “It’s fine,” Chen Ji replied. “People around here respect cultural heritage and hold the ancestors in awe. They won’t touch anything without permission.”

Liu Datie opened his mouth to ask more, but Chen Ji cut him off. “The live stream probably doesn’t allow talk like that, right?”

{2333 Bros are probably saying you’re not scared of karma from hauling stuff out of the Mountain Lord Temple up on the mountain.}

{I’m from around here too—wouldn’t dare mess with that stuff…}

{+1 Got thrashed with three bamboo switches as a kid for being dumb.}

Liu Datie was genuinely curious. “For real…? Like, does it actually happen?”

Chen Ji smiled faintly. “Believe it or not—it’s all in the eye of the beholder.”

If there was no such thing, then he truly loved the wild backwoods: packages that took a week to arrive without free shipping and then a two-hour hike to pick up, no running water or electricity, slaving away all day just to cook his own meals, sleeping under the stars while mosquitoes feasted, one step and you’d trip over a venomous bug, two steps and a snake, playing a deadly game of hide-and-seek with fairies all over the hillsides, that heart-pounding thrill of life hanging by a thread.

Who’d want the cushy life in Jiangzhe—free shipping, parks and malls three hundred meters away, cameras on every corner keeping you safe? How tacky…

Liu Datie stared at Huang Er, who was sprawled belly-up in Chen Ji’s backpack. Suddenly, he figured retribution was probably real.

Chen Ji just chuckled without responding. He led Liu Datie toward the back mountain. Luckily, Liu Datie was in good shape; otherwise, he’d have been winded by the time they reached the steep slope leading up there. When they arrived at the slope, Chen Ji warned him, “It’s pretty steep here. Best to sit and slide down.”

With that, Chen Ji pulled out a sheet of three-colored plastic tarp.

Liu Datie took the tarp and peered down the path half-hidden by the underbrush. Deciding to play it safe after a full belly, he plopped down on it. Then he heard Chen Ji say, “I’ll go first. Follow right behind.”

Liu Datie had forgotten about Chen Ji’s bad eyesight. He nodded on instinct—only to watch Chen Ji stride over in a few quick steps, with no intention of sitting down.

“Bro? Hey?! Bro, didn’t you say it was steep?! You’re not sitting?”

Before the words were out, Chen Ji planted one foot ahead, leaned back slightly, and slid down in that super cool pose Liu Datie had only seen on TV.

Liu Datie: “……???”

He turned to the camera. “Looks easy enough! Alright, I’m gonna give it a shot!”

The bullet chat exploded with “Don’t you dare, you little punk—rat’s tail soup!”

But Liu Datie wasn’t backing down. He heard Chen Ji call from below, “Come on down. The ground’s a bit damp.”

“Yeah…” Liu Datie grinned at the camera. “Hear that? Bro says the ground’s wet, and these clothes ain’t cheap! Think I’ll stick with the tarp.”

He dragged the plastic sheet forward a bit, ignoring the chats calling him a wriggling maggot. He scooted a meter ahead onto flat ground, then shoved off twice more for momentum. But on the second push, before he was settled, his feet hit the incline. The slick carpet of dead leaves offered zero traction. With a yelp, he shot forward like a roller coaster cresting the peak—wind whipping past, stinging his eyes shut, leaves from the sides whipping his face mercilessly.

“Aaaah—!” Liu Datie screamed.

Thankfully, it lasted only about five seconds. The slope leveled out under him, and he spotted Chen Ji standing off to the side. But his speed hadn’t dropped, and straight ahead loomed a tree. Eyes wide in terror—if he kept going…

“Bro—save—!”

Before he could finish, a hand clamped his shoulder, yanking the tarp’s edge. He spun in a full circle on the leaf-strewn ground and came to a perfect, steady stop.

The live stream viewers went along for the wild 360 with Liu Datie. The chat blew up:

{WTF, bro’s got some serious arm strength!}

{No way! At that speed with Datie’s bulk—how’d he catch him so smooth?}

{Those skinny arms—zero clue he packed that kinda power!}

Chen Ji didn’t have that kind of strength, of course. It was all thanks to Huang Er cheating for him. When Liu Datie came rocketing down way too fast, he couldn’t just watch him smash into a tree. So he’d called in Huang Er for backup.

Liu Datie lay there, heart pounding, chest heaving. He raked a hand through his hair and felt a wet, sticky patch on his scalp. “Thanks, bro!”

Chen Ji offered a hand and pulled him up. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Liu Datie panted, then eyed the slope that blotted out the sky. “…Hey, got a question.”

“Yeah?”

“How do we get back up?”

Good question.

Chen Ji paused to think.

He’d climbed it twice alone before—exhausting, like a dead dog dragging itself up. After meeting Huang Er and Xiangxiang, he’d either gotten a super-speed lift from the weasel or a cat-car ride back. He rarely tackled slopes like this solo anymore. And now with Liu Datie in tow, he was pondering the same problem.

Screw it—they’d climb. Time to show the viewers why they should stay away from the back hills.

…Maybe put up a sign later.

Chen Ji explained, “We’ll just climb back up.”

Liu Datie: “……?! No other way?”

“This area’s undeveloped.” Chen Ji grinned. “I’m the one bringing you here. Regular folks don’t come this way, and anyone who does can make it back up.”

Liu Datie: “…Damn, that makes way too much sense. Can’t argue.”

Chen Ji smiled and led him deeper in. The towering canopy turned the forest path into a shadowy chill, like plunging into an icy well. Liu Datie rubbed his arms while Chen Ji pointed out trees and plants for the viewers. Then, out of nowhere, Chen Ji said, “Watch out for snakes around here.”

Liu Datie recoiled. “What the hell?!”

“Snakes.” Chen Ji prodded a hanging branch of vivid green with his stick. Liu Datie squinted—holy crap, that wasn’t a twig. It was alive!

“Bamboo Leaf Viper. Deadly venom.” Chen Ji smiled. “Pretty little thing, but don’t get close. It loves surprise strikes… Fifth Grandpa’s the same type, though Fifth Grandpa’s a lot chiller.”

Fifth Grandpa was chill because it understood human speech. This one? Not so much.

Liu Datie finally voiced what the viewers had been dying to ask. “Your eyes aren’t that great, right?! How’d you spot that?!”

Chen Ji smiled. “Not blind enough to stay home. I’d never bring you out if I couldn’t see at all… You’ve just gotta get used to it living here. You start noticing.”

Liu Datie badly wanted to climb onto Chen Ji’s back. Voice shaky, he asked, “Are there really that many snakes around here?!”

“Not tons.” Chen Ji turned slightly, his tone mild. “Maybe you just attract them?”

{Hell of a dark joke lol 2333}

{ Mountains are full of dangerous critters anyway…}

{Environment’s just that wild.}

Liu Datie started to respond when Chen Ji pulled out milk tea, candy, freeze-dried quail, and freeze-dried chicken from the backpack. He set them out neatly, bowed three times, and Liu Datie blurted, “…Bro, what’re you doing?”

Chen Ji glanced back. “Come bow too. Ask Fifth Grandpa to keep the snakes off you.”

Liu Datie nearly spat “superstitious nonsense,” but flashes of that massive Five-Step Snake he’d accidentally stepped on days ago shut him up. He bowed three times obediently. As he straightened, wondering if that was it—a Five-Step Snake slithered right up.

“Snake… snake!” He grabbed Chen Ji’s arm.

Chen Ji patted him reassuringly. “It’s cool. This is Fifth Grandpa’s turf.”

He turned and greeted the snake with a smile. “Fifth Grandpa, you’re here? The milk tea’s still hot—start with the others.”

Fifth Grandpa elegantly reared its head. Its dangerous slit-pupiled eyes met Chen Ji’s for a moment. Its scarlet tongue flicked the air, then it coiled slowly around the milk tea cup. The weather was chilly; warm tea was perfect.

Chen Ji nodded at Liu Datie. “He’s been hanging around the mountain these past few days. My guest.”

In front of Liu Datie and tens of thousands of viewers, Fifth Grandpa slowly nodded.

{WTF!}

{WTF!}

{It nodded for real?! My eyes deceiving me?!!}

{Damn! Datie’s hit the jackpot with a real master this time!}

{No way there’s nothing supernatural here!}

The shock hit Liu Datie harder than anyone. Chen Ji tugged him along for a good stretch before he managed, “It… nodded, right? Wasn’t my imagination?!”

Chen Ji pointed to some emerging mushrooms. “That’s a patch of Chicken Cong over there. Delicious… Fifth Grandpa’s an old snake with real spirit.”

Chen Ji blinked mischievously. “Kinda like getting in good with the local tabby—then the strays leave you alone.”

Liu Datie: “…”

Put that way, the eerie forest suddenly felt less creepy.

Liu Datie: “Alright, I’m off to dig some Chicken Cong! Any pro tips?”

Chen Ji gave quick pointers, and Liu Datie got it instantly. He charged over eagerly. Huang Er poked its head from the backpack: 【Chen Ji, should I go say hi to the Old Mulberry Tree first?】

Chen Ji bent to harvest another cluster of Chicken Cong, murmuring low, “It might not come that way. Grandpa Sang shouldn’t mind? I already said hi to Grandpa Mountain Lord.”

Huang Er snorted but said nothing, the meaning abundantly clear: you expect Him to handle it?

Chen Ji’s eyebrows twitched faintly. Huang Er himself had no idea that he’d unwittingly put in a good word for the Mountain Lord. Chen Ji nodded. “Shall we bring some offerings over first?”

Huang Er nodded vaguely. Chen Ji bundled up a few items into a small package and hung it from the creature’s back. With that, Huang Er streaked off into the jungle and vanished.

{Why do I see Bro talking to Second Grandpa?}

{I even saw Bro make Second Grandpa carry stuff and leave…}

{I keep getting the feeling that this mountain is riddled with dangers—it’s only Bro making it look calm and peaceful.}

{Meanwhile, our Da Tie is still happily digging up Chicken Cong mushrooms.}