Chapter 15: Kitty Is Not to Be Trifled With

Jiang Sheng was forced into an early exercise of the Emperor’s privilege.

Selecting plaques. All night long.

By the end, his hands were shaking.

He’d lost count of how many times he’d cried, boneless and strengthless, entirely at Lu Yan’s mercy. Bend over, he bent over. Lift his legs, he lifted his legs. Obedient beyond all measure.

Lu Yan bit at Jiang Sheng’s ear from behind more than once, laughter in his voice. “Is Wife carrying Baby?”

At that, Jiang Sheng cried even harder.

The man quickly corrected himself. “Can’t be. Wife is himself a Baby—how could he carry a Baby?”

Either way, Lu Yan won the argument.

Jiang Sheng was being played with to his ruin.

By the time the last plaque was flipped, Jiang Sheng was nearly weeping with relief.

Lu Yan gave two low huffs of laughter, gathering his Wife close. “Enjoying yourself? Fun? Another round?”

“?!!”

Jiang Sheng shook his head like a rattle-drum.

Truthfully, Lu Yan had only meant to frighten him. He’d been rough today—Jiang Sheng was a little swollen, and Lu Yan couldn’t bear to continue. He called for water and washed Jiang Sheng down himself.

Having learned his lesson last time, this time Jiang Sheng didn’t dare fall asleep even in the bath, clinging to the rim of the tub, eyeing Lu Yan warily, poised to leap out and flee at the slightest movement.

But this time, from start to finish, Lu Yan did nothing else—he genuinely only washed Jiang Sheng clean and carried him out.

Jiang Sheng was dead tired. The moment he touched the bed, he rolled himself into a little kitty pancake with his blanket and was snoring in seconds.

Lu Yan watched him for a moment, then leaned in and kissed his Wife’s flushed cheek. He badly wanted a bite—but afraid of waking him, he held back.

Whenever it came to Jiang Sheng, he was like a creature still in its teething phase—every inch of his Wife looked biteable, and he wanted to swallow him whole.

He kissed him for a long while, and in the end his hand still slipped under the covers and dug Jiang Sheng out.

Swollen. Needed salve.

Jiang Sheng, half asleep, whimpered at the handling, assuming Lu Yan was starting something again. His dim consciousness assessed the situation—apparently not—and he drifted back off with relief, even snuggling closer.

Pressing near, Lu Yan could hear the little pig-like snoring.

Lu Yan’s heart went soft and warm. He simply held his Wife and let sleep take them both.

As everyone knows.

Kitties are not to be trifled with.

And Jiang Sheng held one mighty grudge.

He was genuinely angry at Jiang Feng.

For three straight days, he didn’t give Jiang Feng a single good look.

At mealtimes, he turned his back and chatted intimately with Lu Yan instead. One big round table—Jiang Sheng and Lu Yan on one side, Jiang Feng hugging his own bowl on the other.

He shot Lu Yan meaningful glances several times, hoping he’d help smooth things over. Lu Yan played blind.

As if.

A Wife who only clung to him—what was not to love?

His Elder Brother-in-Law thought far too well of him.

He was not a good person.

Lu Yan held a bowl of soup, feeding Jiang Sheng spoonful by spoonful, and remarked leisurely, “In a couple of days, Western Fan comes to court with tribute. They’ve brought all sorts of novelties—I hear there are some foreign animals too. We’ll see if there’s anything you like then. A kitten or puppy would do. We’ll keep one for you.”

Jiang Sheng’s eyes lit up. “Yes please!”

Beside them, Jiang Feng muttered, “What’s so special about kittens and puppies? If you like animals, Gege will get you a Black Bear to raise.”

Jiang Sheng: “…” Who keeps a Black Bear at home?

He huffed twice and ignored Jiang Feng.

Jiang Feng was earnestly trying to mend fences with his brother when Cheng Jing hurried in from outside and said, choosing his words carefully, “Your Highness. A visitor has arrived. He says… he’s here for their Alliance Master.”

Lu Yan’s brow arched.

The only Assassin Alliance Master around here was, of course, the very man currently fawning over his brother—Jiang Feng.

This Alliance Master of theirs looked carefree and easygoing, his martial arts thoroughly mediocre, his head every bit as scrambled as Jiang Sheng’s—honestly a mystery how he’d ever attained the position.

Their Vice Alliance Master, on the other hand—a man in fitted black attire, standing in the courtyard, features cold and composed. His gaze swept quickly up and down, and only upon confirming Jiang Feng bore no external injuries did he relax.

Hearing that their Master had fallen into the North-Guarding Prince’s hands, he had ridden three horses to death rushing over.

He spoke in a low voice, opening with a demand to take their Alliance Master home.

Take Jiang Feng away?

Lu Yan was practically raising his hand in welcome.

This was supposed to be his and his Wife’s private world. What was the point of lugging a third wheel around every day?

Except…

Lu Yan smiled and produced an IOU. “Your Alliance Master’s room and board here—we’ll waive that. He is the Princess Consort’s brother, after all. But one debt is one debt. This money still must be paid.”

He looked at Jiang Feng, whose face had changed color beside him, and continued leisurely, “Young Master Jiang summoned several dozen Male Courtesans at the brothel in a fit of passion. Here is the IOU. Settle it, Vice Alliance Master.”

The Vice Alliance Master’s face turned hideous in an instant. He turned and shot Jiang Feng a look of such frigid menace that the cold practically poured off him.

In the end, he paid, then hauled Jiang Feng away with a stony face.

Jiang Sheng blinked after them, and once they were gone, looked at Lu Yan with some worry. “Why does my gege seem… a little off?”

Lu Yan stroked his Wife’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss. “Still upset that Jiang Feng sold you out? Husband avenged you today.”

Truthfully, Lu Yan had long been irritated with Jiang Feng.

His Wife was this well-behaved—there was no way he’d wander into some filthy den on his own. He’d been led astray by Jiang Feng.

A perfectly good Baby, corrupted.

That was Lu Yan for you—utterly unreasonable, dumping the whole pot of blame on someone else. He bent and scooped Jiang Sheng up, kissing his lips. “Be good. Tonight I’ll take you out on the water.”

No third wheel this time, surely.

In broad daylight, Jiang Sheng was terrified of being seen, shrinking backward, pushing at Lu Yan with both hands, whimpering, “Boating means boating—don’t come so close… someone will see.”

Lu Yan said evenly, “No one would dare look.”

He hooked an arm around his Wife’s waist, hauled him back, and pressed a deep kiss on him, his tongue sweeping in and stirring until Jiang Sheng could barely hold his own drool.

The poor thing whimpered twice—and was scooped up by the bottom and carried indoors.

Broad daylight, door shut tight. What could they possibly be doing?

So hard to guess.

Fine, so Lu Yan had gone eight years without a meal—but even so, he couldn’t eat like THIS! A Kitty only has one bottom! Moderation is what makes it last!!

By evening, Jiang Sheng lay sprawled on the bed, bottom in the air, recuperating—while tirelessly lecturing Lu Yan on the great principles of life.

His little mouth ran on and on.

Lu Yan listened with half an ear and said absently, “What does that mean? Didn’t understand.”

Jiang Sheng held up one finger. “Once a week. Only once.”

Lu Yan’s brow arched. Arms crossed, he turned to look at Jiang Sheng. “And how do we count ‘once’?”

“Does it only count if you finish like last time, with my belly all swollen?”

So as long as he didn’t finish inside the rest of the time, it didn’t count.

Jiang Sheng: “…”

All that cunning, deployed entirely against his own Wife.

Watching Jiang Sheng turn away in a huff, offering nothing but a round little back-of-head, Lu Yan found him more adorable by the second. He walked over and ruffled his Wife’s hair. “Come. It’s dark outside now—perfect for the lake. The lanterns are beautiful at this hour.”

Ten-Mile Painted Boats, music drifting without end.

Lanterns glowed all around, rows of painted boats so bright it hardly looked like night.

String music floated over the water. The Capital’s chill was nothing like the south, but the winter water hadn’t frozen—still, Lu Yan feared the lakeside cold and bundled Jiang Sheng up thickly.

The boat swayed beneath them. It was Jiang Sheng’s first time on a boat like this—something primitive, hard to keep balance on. Like a drunkard, he’d take two steps and wobble, toppling straight into Lu Yan’s arms.

Lu Yan: Living the good life.

He caught his Wife steadily every time, stealing a kiss or two at every opportunity. “If you’re dizzy, sit here and watch the lanterns. Stop wandering.”

Jiang Sheng refused. A Kitty’s nature was curiosity. He insisted on leaning over the bow, head craning outward, sightseeing like a tourist.

It was lively over that way tonight.

The boat opposite looked bustling—someone singing, someone dancing. The two boats had drifted close, and Jiang Sheng had only been curiously peering over when sharp eyes on the other boat spotted him and waved. “Little young master! Come join us!”

Jiang Sheng glanced back at Lu Yan and was waving a refusal when the other boat simply began rowing straight toward them.

Lu Yan’s brow creased as he stepped out. The two boats had already bumped together.

Impatience pooled in the man’s eyes.

Why was it so hard to have a moment alone with one’s Wife? Some blind fool always came crowding in.

On the other boat, several people leaned over the rail, all warmth. “Just the two of you? What fun is that? Come join us!”

Lu Yan kept an arm around Jiang Sheng, the message unmistakable. “No, thank you.”

Only then did the others register that this wasn’t a pair of brothers, but a pair of lovey-dovey newlywed husbands.

“Brother Liu, why keep pressing them? Their loss if they won’t come. Traveling in the company of the Top Scholar—an opportunity not everyone gets.”

Top Scholar?

Jiang Sheng’s ears perked up in secret.

Wasn’t that “his” former betrothed?

He peeked at Lu Yan’s face. Sure enough, it had already turned rather ugly.

At this rate, he genuinely feared Lu Yan would order the whole boat capsized and send them all bobbing in the water.

Jiang Sheng was waving another refusal when Lu Yan suddenly lifted a hand, lips curving. “Very well. Since the Top Scholar is present, we truly must come aboard and see.”

Since Lu Yan had agreed, a plank was quickly laid between the boats, and Lu Yan led Jiang Sheng across, Cheng Jing and Cheng Yu following behind.

He’d assumed they’d actually see that Top Scholar from last time—only to discover, once aboard, that this one was a counterfeit. It was nothing but a boatful of scholars awaiting the examinations, out for a pleasure cruise. The so-called “Top Scholar” was simply whichever of them had the most literary talent, propped up by his friends.

Speechless.

Jiang Sheng fought down the urge to roll his eyes. Some people really would gild their own faces.

Then the man called “Brother Liu” smiled at them. “Judging by your dress, you two must be from a wealthy family. We have a rare treasure aboard—just the thing to open your eyes.”

He produced a small box. “This came from Western Fan. Azure Jade Incense. Just one piece like this, lit in a room’s Incense Burner, and the spirit drifts away—as though falling into fairyland.”

That description…

Jiang Sheng glanced up at Lu Yan and saw the man’s face had gone grim, his gaze dark.

He paused, then spoke up himself. “So THAT’S why you invited us over. You took us for easy marks to sell things to! How boring. Husband, let’s go.”

“No, no, wait—” Brother Liu blocked them. “If you don’t believe me, I’ll light a piece first so you can try. Don’t worry—this one’s free.”

Terrified of losing his two big fish, he tossed the incense piece straight into the Incense Burner. The scholars all crowded around, making the already cramped boat feel tighter, and the fragrance grew stronger.

The first thing to rise was an intensely sweet scent. Then his head began to swim, his body swaying faintly. The instant Jiang Sheng wobbled, he was swept into an embrace. Lu Yan’s face was now truly terrible—one arm around his Wife, the other taking the pill Cheng Jing handed over and pressing it into his Wife’s mouth.

This stuff had already spread to the Capital?

Lu Yan had been quietly investigating this so-called Azure Jade Incense all along—who’d have thought it would land right in front of him by sheer coincidence. But with his Wife here today, fearing an accident, Lu Yan decided to take him home first.

Scooping Jiang Sheng up to leave, he shot Cheng Yu a meaningful look, leaving him behind to “clean up.”

He’d barely taken two steps with his Wife in his arms when he heard Jiang Sheng whimpering softly, murmuring Lu Yan’s name over and over—before finally mumbling one last thing.

“Husband… I’m coming to find you.”