Chapter 24 Part 3

It was better to just go and bunk with Jiang Chu for the night. If Jiang Chu asked, he could say Liang Xiaojia was used to sleeping alone.

When Liang Xiaojia heard this, the disappointment was immediately visible in his eyes.

Qin Zui went to make his bed, taking back the pillow and blanket Jiang Chu had specifically thrown over there. Liang Xiaojia blocked him at the door, whispering, “I won’t do anything to you, Little Brother Qin Zui.”

“Like you’d even succeed. I could pin you down with one finger.” Qin Zui smiled, looking at Liang Xiaojia’s hand gripping his arm.

Liang Xiaojia stared at him for a moment, then slowly let go. But he didn’t move out of the way. He just stood in the doorway, looking unhappy.

Qin Zui let out a deep, internal sigh. He pulled Liang Xiaojia inside and pointed to the edge of the bed. “Sit.”

Liang Xiaojia sat down on the bed. Qin Zui closed the door and looked at him. “Are you determined to keep going against me from now on?”

Liang Xiaojia picked at his hand, not saying anything.

“You’re not going to listen to me anymore?” Qin Zui said.

Liang Xiaojia hung his head, his eyelashes drooping. It took him a long moment to squeeze out a reluctant “No, I’m not.”

“No, you’re not.” Qin Zui repeated, leaning back against the edge of the table. “Then what are you doing right now? I didn’t say anything when you suddenly showed up, and you’ve already forgotten what I told you yesterday?”

“Or do you really want this to be the last time we see each other?” His tone was a little heavier now. Qin Zui’s face was blank, and it wasn’t a question.

“I…” Liang Xiaojia opened his mouth, finally looking up. He said, with some difficulty, “I want to control myself too. I just want to see you, I want to talk to you, I want to be with you. I feel terrible when I can’t go to school with you every day. I don’t want to think about all this nonsense. But I can’t control it!”

He really couldn’t control it.

Liang Xiaojia said this with a sense of grievance. He felt like Qin Zui had no idea how much he was suffering, too.

In the place where he and Qin Zui grew up, the word “homosexual” might as well have not existed.

If he could have controlled it, he wouldn’t have wanted to be a pervert, a monster, who had feelings for his own friend.

Silence filled the room for a moment. Liang Xiaojia, having forced out all those words, just hung his head again and picked at his hands.

Qin Zui wouldn’t even share a bed with him anymore now. Just thinking about it made him feel terrible.

He snuck a glance at Qin Zui. Qin Zui seemed lost in thought, his face expressionless as he stared into space.

After a while, Qin Zui spoke again. “Xiaojia.”

Hearing that his tone had softened, Liang Xiaojia immediately looked up at him with a flicker of hope.

But Qin Zui just said flatly, “Your feelings for me aren’t what you think they are.”

“You’ve just gotten used to me. You’re used to doing everything with me. Used to coming to me when you’ve been beaten up or when you’re upset.” Qin Zui looked directly into Liang Xiaojia’s eyes. “And then, by chance, you found out about my orientation, so you projected that onto yourself.”

“No.” Liang Xiaojia immediately refuted.

He rarely contradicted Qin Zui so firmly. After all these years, he was used to Qin Zui always being right. But on this issue, he denied it without hesitation.

“It’s not just that, Qin Zui.” He didn’t even call him “Little Brother Qin Zui” anymore. For once, he was assertive, glaring at Qin Zui. “You can’t just deny my feelings just because you refuse to accept them.”

Qin Zui didn’t argue with him. He even nodded slightly, hummed in agreement, and continued to stare at Liang Xiaojia. “Then, are you planning on getting married in the future?”

Liang Xiaojia was struck dumb.

“The last time your dad beat you, you told me that when you started your own family, you would never be a dad like yours. You’d never beat your wife or your kids.” A faint smile touched the corner of Qin Zui’s mouth. “Forgot already?”

Liang Xiaojia was stumped.

He really hadn’t thought about it. In his world, in the environment he’d grown up in, going to school, getting an education, getting married, starting a family… those were the most fundamental, the most natural things in the world.

Don’t even get him started on himself. Even after he found out Qin Zui was gay, he’d never once thought about whether Qin Zui would still get married in the future.

The moment Qin Zui brought it up, Liang Xiaojia felt a surge of confusion. Right. If Qin Zui was gay, would he still get married or not?

And if Xiaojia didn’t get married, his dad would beat him to death!

Liang Xiaojia was still staring blankly, not having processed it all, when Qin Zui, without another word, straightened up and walked out.

As he pulled the door open, he turned back and knocked on the wall. “The light switch is here,” he reminded Liang Xiaojia.

Qin Zui had thought through all the questions and answers, but he hadn’t expected that when he came to Jiang Chu’s room and said he was going to sleep there, Jiang Chu didn’t even ask him why he wasn’t sleeping with Liang Xiaojia.

“Sleep.” Jiang Chu just cheerfully put the pillow back in its place, picked up the small blanket and shook it out, and told Qin Zui to turn off the light.

Jiang Chu was used to sleeping shirtless. As he spoke, he reached up and pulled his T-shirt off.

Qin Zui glanced at his bare back, but didn’t say anything. He reached over and turned off the light.

He felt his knee press against the edge of Jiang Chu’s bed, pulled back the blanket, and lay down on Jiang Chu’s bed. Listening to the rustle of fabric in the darkness, looking at Jiang Chu holding his phone, the faint light illuminating his straight nose and half-closed eyes, Qin Zui suddenly felt like he should have just slept on the couch.

Even though he’d already slept in the same bed as Jiang Chu last night, there was a completely different, subtle feeling to doing it at the farm stay versus doing it at home, in Jiang Chu’s own bed.

This was Jiang Chu’s absolute private domain. The place where he slept, his skin against the sheets, even the place where he might… relieve himself.

As soon as that association popped into his head, Qin Zui felt his thoughts start to spiral out of control. The same irritation from last night, when Jiang Chu had been pressed up against him, talking and fidgeting, threatened to resurface.

His arm accidentally brushed against Jiang Chu’s shoulder. Qin Zui turned over, putting his back to Jiang Chu and putting some distance between them.

But before he could even settle in, he felt a kick on his ass. Jiang Chu didn’t pull his leg back. Instead, he followed him, turning onto his side and saying, “Hey, I almost forgot. Du Miaomiao wants to add you on WeChat. Old Du asked me for it. Can I just send it to him?”

The position was too natural, too intimate. It was like Jiang Chu was pressed up against him from behind.

Qin Zui pursed his lips in the dark. He hummed in agreement and pushed Jiang Chu’s leg down, his voice husky. “Get your leg off.”

“I noticed something, Little Brother Qin Zui.” Jiang Chu’s voice suddenly dropped to match his.

Qin Zui didn’t respond. He didn’t know what Jiang Chu was about to say.

“I noticed you talk a lot when you’re with Liang Xiaojia.” Jiang Chu clicked his tongue. “But when you’re with me, you’re like a mute mule.”

Qin Zui felt a wave of relief. The tension left his body.

He turned his head slightly. “What about it?”

“Now you’re asking me.” Jiang Chu locked his phone screen and tossed it aside. He’d slept until two this afternoon, so he wasn’t tired yet. He propped himself up on his side and sat up, ready to have it out with Qin Zui.

“Come on, turn around.” He nudged Qin Zui’s shoulder. “When you introduced me to your friend today, what did you call me?”

Qin Zui turned around to face Jiang Chu. The angle wasn’t great. Jiang Chu was propped up on his upper body, and Qin Zui’s line of sight was directly aimed at Jiang Chu’s faintly visible collarbone in the dark. Just above it was his Adam’s apple, and just below it was his bare chest.

He paused, then sat up a little higher, resting his head on the pillow and bending one leg. “Jiang Chu.”

“Oh, ‘Jiang Chu’.” Jiang Chu propped his head up on his arm against the headboard. “Shouldn’t you call me ‘Bro’?”

Without waiting for Qin Zui to respond, he flicked his finger against Qin Zui’s cheek. “You’ve been here for a while now, and I haven’t heard you say it once. Come on, say it for me.”

The tone of the request had shifted. It sounded like Jiang Chu was just teasing him. Qin Zui couldn’t help but smile. “So you can hear it?”

“Shit. Don’t talk dirty to me. I was already a pro at this when you were still playing in the sand.” Jiang Chu laughed. “But you can say it if you want. Sing me a sweet tune. It’s better than you just clamming up.”

The words, the timing, the pitch-black, in-bed atmosphere… Qin Zui couldn’t joke around with Jiang Chu like this. His mind conjured up images too easily.

“Stop messing around.” He pushed Jiang Chu’s arm away and lay back down, turning his back to him. “If you want to hear it, say it yourself.”

Sometimes, even Jiang Chu, a mature, self-sufficient adult, had to admit that guys were just incredibly childish.

It was with topics like this. If you didn’t bring it up, nothing would happen. But once you did, you had to win the argument. Otherwise, it felt like you’d lost a major battle.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m going to hear you call me ‘Bro’ today.” He wrapped his arm around Qin Zui’s shoulder, flipped over, and straddled him.

Qin Zui was just about to push him off, but Jiang Chu grabbed his neck with a firm grip and leaned over him. His knee pinned Qin Zui’s hand to his side, and he commanded in a low voice, “Say ‘Bro’.”

Qin Zui stared at Jiang Chu and frowned.

He’d never been afraid of a fight in his life, but every single time Jiang Chu started messing around with him, he was always the one who ended up pinned.

“Get off.” He tried to shift his hips down, not wanting Jiang Chu to feel him.

Jiang Chu freed his thumb from where it was holding Qin Zui’s neck and pressed it against his Adam’s apple, rubbing it lightly a couple of times.

He was determined to get Qin Zui to say “Bro” today.

Qin Zui, his Adam’s apple being pressed, squeezed his eyes shut. He pulled his right hand out from under Jiang Chu’s knee, and with his palm, he squeezed hard on Jiang Chu’s kneecap. His Adam’s apple vibrated slightly under Jiang Chu’s thumb as he spoke. “…Bro.”

Jiang Chu froze.