Chapter 27

Jiang Chu grabbed a can of coconut water from the fridge, about to ask Qin Zui if he wanted one, when he heard the door close. He poked his head out for a look; Qin Zui had gone to his room.

Jiang Chu opened his mouth, then tossed the can in his hands a couple of times. He didn’t call out. He just took it and went back to the study.

The computer was still on. He jiggled the mouse to wake it up, and a row of web pages was prominent on the taskbar. He clicked on them one by one to close them.

When he got to the newest one, the screen was moving. His eyelid twitched, and he realized he hadn’t pressed pause before leaving the study earlier. The video had just kept playing, one after another, and now a whole bunch had streamed.

The current one featured two white guys. The standing one was built like a giant, and the thinner guy had his face practically buried in the sofa cushion, being pounded so hard he was shaking and clutching the tassels, flinching occasionally as if possessed.

Jiang Chu’s mouse hovered over the “close” button for a long time. Suddenly, the big guy gave a mighty thrust, and the thinner one arched his back, his neck straining, convulsing forward. Jiang Chu muttered a low “Shit!” and slammed the browser shut, then threw himself back into his chair, squinting as he bit down on a cigarette.

Too damn brutal.

If they put that kind of energy into a fight, their hips would dislocate.

Jiang Chu took two long drags to suppress the little frisson of unease, then slid down in his chair, propped his legs on the desk, and stared at the decorative picture on the wall, chewing on the cigarette filter with his teeth.

When he’d decided to turn on the computer at noon, it wasn’t that he hadn’t believed Qin Zui’s words. But the fact that it had been confirmed left him feeling an odd sense of frustration.

The frustrating part wasn’t even that he got a reaction. Like Qin Zui had said, it was so wild that even if it were two dogs going at it, he’d get excited.

What frustrated Jiang Chu was that, while watching that stuff, he couldn’t help but try to picture Qin Zui in those roles.

And then getting a reaction from that. That was the really screwed-up part, dammit!

Wasn’t that just perverted?!

He forced himself to do work all afternoon to calm down. When he came out of the study in the evening, it felt like he’d been in seclusion.

The living room was dark, the lights off. Jiang Chu went to knock on a door, called out, and then turned on the lights in all the rooms.

When Qin Zui came out of the bedroom, he smelled of smoke. Jiang Chu looked into the room and asked him, “What were you up to all afternoon? Didn’t hear a peep from you.”

“Doing homework,” Qin Zui said.

Jiang Chu tossed him a can of coconut water. “Let’s have noodles for dinner. I’m craving them.”

“Yeah.” Qin Zui hummed in agreement, popped the tab, and took a sip.

Having Qin Zui home was just comfortable. Jiang Chu flopped onto the sofa, not needing to think about anything at all.

He scrolled through his phone. Old Du had posted a bunch of photos in the group chat. Eighteen out of twenty were focused on his precious nephew. One group shot had everyone laughing. Old Du must have had shaky hands, because everyone except Du Miaomiao was blurry.

Da Ben was going off in the chat, telling Old Du to hurry up and join the ranks of the childless and carefree. All this worry, he’d already ascended to the position of ‘Dad’.

Jiang Chu scrolled through, smiling. He saw a picture of Du Miaomiao holding a big fish, both surprised and gleeful, showing it off to Old Du. A tiny sliver of conscience pricked him. He got up from the sofa and went to the kitchen to ask Qin Zui: “Do you want to go anywhere else? There are still a few days of holiday. I could take you to a water park or something?”

Qin Zui was frying eggs without looking up. “No.”

“Is there anywhere you want to go? What about skiing?” Jiang Chu couldn’t figure out what a kid his age liked to do. For himself, he definitely didn’t want to go to any popular cities or tourist spots and get squeezed to death.

“I have class tomorrow.” Qin Zui plated the egg and set it aside.

“School’s starting already?” Jiang Chu sniffed; it smelled good, and reached out for the plate.

“School only gave three days off.” Qin Zui shot him a helpless look, handed him the chopsticks, and turned the stove back on to fry two more.

“True.” Jiang Chu remembered. When he was in school, whatever the holiday, they only got half of it off too. Some things never changed.

“Then for the New Year holiday,” Jiang Chu said. “That’s a long break.”

He turned to leave with the plate, just as he heard a loud sizzle of oil from the pot. He looked back and saw Qin Zui turn down the flame, holding the spatula and rolling his arm. Two drops of oil had spat onto his right forearm, turning it red immediately and raising two quick blisters.

“You didn’t clean the egg bits out of the pan properly.” Jiang Chu put down the plate and reached out to grab Qin Zui’s arm for a look.

Qin Zui dodged him, went to the sink in the corner, turned on the tap and rinsed it quickly under cold water, then pinched the blisters open.

Jiang Chu frowned at the sight and reached for Qin Zui again. “Don’t do that yet, wait until…”

Before he could finish, Qin Zui blocked his hand again.

Jiang Chu was taken aback.

“It’s nothing.” Qin Zui grabbed a paper towel to dry the water on his arm, then handed the plate back to Jiang Chu. “You go out.”

All evening long, Jiang Chu watched Qin Zui, observing him silently. He noticed that his finicky, touchy-feely issue was acting up again.

It wasn’t as obvious as when he’d first arrived, but it was definitely there again.

Jiang Chu pulled his arm; he wouldn’t let him.

After dinner, Jiang Chu wanted to hang out and talk, so he asked Qin Zui if he wanted to go for a walk. He didn’t want to.

“I’ll wash up.” Jiang Chu reached for the plate and bowl in Qin Zui’s hands. Their fingers accidentally touched. Qin Zui just dumped the plates into his hands without a word and went off to shower.

By the time Jiang Chu was done with the dishes, Qin Zui’s door was already closed. He didn’t come out to sit with him on the sofa for a while, shooting the breeze and chatting like he usually did.

Even though Jiang Chu had spent the afternoon hallucinating about Qin Zui and felt super guilty, and was subconsciously wanting to keep some distance, the moment Qin Zui acted like this, it immediately felt really bad.

What the hell? Was he dodging him now?

He’d hardly said a word to him since he got home in the afternoon… Was he feeling down because Liang Xiaojia had left?

Jiang Chu stood in the living room for a while, frowning. He grabbed his keys and went to the supermarket himself, bought a bag of canned yellow peaches, and stuffed them in the fridge.

It was late into the night. He was lying in bed, half-asleep, when a thought suddenly hit him: Could it be that Qin Zui knew he’d watched those videos?

He couldn’t remember if his ID was still logged in on the other’s phone…

Jiang Chu’s eyes snapped open, his heart giving a “thump.”

Even if he knew, it didn’t matter. It had nothing to do with Qin Zui’s sudden weirdness. But “guilt” is an emotion that’s just uncontrollable. The moment he felt guilty, Jiang Chu even felt like Qin Zui knowing he’d watched those videos meant he knew exactly what he’d been imagining.

He was already sitting up to go to the study when it suddenly hit him: his computer and phone had never been the same brand.

“Ah…” Jiang Chu sighed, a little annoyed, and lay back down in bed.

Those images of pounding and thrusting started swirling around his brain again.

As they swirled, he remembered the sight of Qin Zui’s back as he set his lunch on the table for him when he came out of the bathroom at noon.

The two backs started overlapping in his mind.

Jiang Chu flipped over forcefully, burying his face in his pillow, pressing it down with the blanket.

How was this any different from when he was a horny teenager reading his first dirty book? Did it just never end?

Once the boring short holiday was over, life returned to the stable routine of home and office. Jiang Chu finally felt like he was getting back into his comfortable rhythm.

Da Ben came by with a bag of mountain mushrooms and dates, saying they were freebies from the farm stay owner. The owner gave out a share per person, and he’d asked for two extra, one for Jiang Chu and one for Qin Zui.

“Da Ben,” Jiang Chu cracked a walnut and popped it in his mouth, casually asking, “Have you ever watched one of those videos with two guys?”

“The butt-poking kind?” Da Ben was scrolling on his computer. “Yeah, I’ve seen some. I’ve even seen one where they pierced the dick. Shit, have you seen one like that? Damn, they were just driving it right into the skin…”

“Hey!” Jiang Chu felt a phantom pain at the image and threw a walnut kernel at him. “What the hell is wrong with your taste?”

“You’re the one who asked.” Da Ben caught it and tossed it in his mouth, chuckling.

He stopped mid-chuckle, a bit suspicious. He shifted his big, fat face out from behind the computer screen and stared at Jiang Chu. “Chu.”

“What?” Jiang Chu hummed in acknowledgement.

“You don’t like Chen Linguo… it couldn’t be that you…” Da Ben had a “What the fuck” expression. “No wonder you’ve never clicked with anyone all these years!”

“Cut the crap.” Jiang Chu cut him off fast, picked up the wastebasket and swept all the walnut shells from the table into it, still immersed in that inexplicable guilt. “I just stumbled onto some video the other day, took one look and it scared the hell out of me.”

“I know that feeling. Just like the first time I read that novel.” Da Ben was just joking anyway. They were all grown men; who hadn’t watched some freaky niche porn now and then? “But man, if you’re really a fag, I can’t help you there. My Bao Li won’t let me sacrifice my ass for a brother.”

“Oh, keep it.” Jiang Chu laughed. “Your glorious butt is too fat with oil. I wouldn’t be able to handle it even if you offered.”

The idea of “sacrificing his ass” was way too crazy. Jiang Chu was haunted by it all day. Just thinking of Da Ben bending over to “sacrifice” made him want to laugh.

With his bulk, half of his ass was as big as a whole regular person. Even that built white guy in the video would probably have no idea where to stick it.

He was still laughing about it when they finished work in the evening. Da Ben pressed his phone and said, “Alright, let’s pair up for a meal. Bao Li is eating at her mom’s place today.”

“Fine, you decide where.” Jiang Chu was just going to order takeout anyway. Qin Zui had been going to classes for the last few days, so he was too lazy to think about food when he was home. He’d ordered claypot rice for several days in a row, and thinking about it, the whole thing tasted like scorched rice.

“Ask your brother what he wants to eat. Have him come out with us,” Da Ben said.

“He has evening self-study at school. He can’t come,” Jiang Chu said.

“Oh, right. We’re back to work, so they must be back in school too. Let’s go get steak. I’m craving meat.” Da Ben randomly picked a restaurant. “How are your brother’s grades anyway? Old Du’s nephew won’t study at all, fails every single test. The other day he said he’d sign the kid up for some classes over the National Day holiday. Damn, you can’t even say anything to that kid. He throws a tantrum the moment you do.”

“I haven’t asked. Judging by his attitude, he doesn’t seem like the studying type. He can drink even more than you.” Jiang Chu thought he should check on Qin Zui’s grades. He didn’t even know how their midterms had gone before the break.

“Old Du, too,” Jiang Chu pressed the brakes at a red light. “Even for National Day, their school cuts off the ends, so they only get two and a half days off. If I were Du Miaomiao, I wouldn’t want to hear about cram school either.”

“What do you mean, two and a half days? Isn’t he out having fun?” Da Ben said casually. “I saw on his Moments yesterday, he was swimming.”

Jiang Chu was stunned. He turned his head and stared at Da Ben for a long time, only snapping out of it when the light turned green.

It was just supposed to be a quick, impromptu meal, but then Fang Zi called to shoot the breeze. He was restless from coming back from the holiday, and came to eat with them. One thing led to another, and they were chatting until after nine.

Fang Zi still had energy, wanting to call Old Du out for some skewers, but Jiang Chu was thinking that Qin Zui’s evening self-study would be over soon. He packed a box of steak and left first.

“I swear, you’re gonna become Old Du 2.0 soon,” Fang Zi said, a little speechless.

Jiang Chu just smiled, thinking he was still a bit better than Old Du. Even though Qin Zui might have just lied to him.

He got home with the steak. Qin Zui was coming out of his room, wearing only his boxers, holding a pair of washed shorts to hang out on the balcony.

Seeing Jiang Chu walk in unexpectedly, he turned back to his room to put on pants.

Jiang Chu had been stewing all through dinner about Qin Zui lying to him, feeling pretty annoyed anyway. Seeing Qin Zui act like this when he got home only made the annoyance worse.

“What are you hiding from?” he asked, tossing the paper bag of food onto the entryway cabinet, his eyes fixed on Qin Zui’s back, still beaded with water.