Chapter 28

Qin Zui didn’t stop walking, only turned his head to glance at Jiang Chu. “I’m going to put on some pants.”

“Why wear pants at home? Even if you walked around naked, what could you do to me?” Jiang Chu slipped off his shoes as Qin Zui went and pulled on a pair of board shorts. Jiang Chu tossed the paper bag with the steak over to him.

“What is it?” Qin Zui asked.

“Food.” Jiang Chu said.

Qin Zui ate the steak at the dining table while Jiang Chu wasn’t idle either. He opened a can of fruit and sat across from Qin Zui, watching him eat.

As he ate, he asked Qin Zui, “How many days off do you have for National Day?”

“Three days.” Qin Zui looked up at him. “What’s up?”

“Only your class has extra classes?” Jiang Chu pressed.

“The whole school.” Qin Zui leaned back in his chair and put down his fork. “What are you really asking?”

“Du Miaomiao was playing until yesterday.” Jiang Chu took a sip of the canned syrup. “I thought you were lying to me.”

Qin Zui didn’t say anything. He met Jiang Chu’s gaze for a moment before speaking. “I won’t lie to you.”

“Thanks.” Jiang Chu nodded. He was willing to trust Qin Zui, and since Qin Zui said so, he couldn’t be bothered to figure out if Du Miaomiao was ditching class behind Old Du’s back or what. “Then tell me why you’ve been avoiding me these past few days. It’s been bugging me.”

As soon as he said this, Qin Zui’s expression became even more exaggerated than before. Jiang Chu could have sworn he saw the words “the hell are you talking about” flash across his face.

“Aren’t you the one avoiding me?” There was something strange in Qin Zui’s eyes.

“Me, avoiding you?” Jiang Chu pointed at him with his fork across the table. “I brought you home with me. When did I ever avoid you?”

He meant the time they watched that movie. He’d subconsciously tried to put a little distance between them, but before he could even move, the kid had a freak-out, and somehow it ended up being his fault?

Jiang Chu couldn’t bring himself to say that out loud. He just thought it. But Qin Zui had gone quiet again, just staring at him.

After staring for a while, Qin Zui looked away, pulled a cigarette from the pack on the table, and put it between his lips without lighting it.

“Talk.” Jiang Chu kicked the leg of his chair from under the table.

Qin Zui had no choice but to turn his gaze back. They stared at each other for another two seconds. He dropped his eyelids in faint resignation, crushed the cigarette tip, and muttered a soft curse. “Fine.”

What was he supposed to say?

That the day he came back from dropping off Liang Xiaojia, Jiang Chu had been eating with his back to him?

That Jiang Chu sat on the arm of the sofa instead of next to him, keeping half a meter of distance?

That Jiang Chu wouldn’t drink from the same beer bottle anymore?

Was there a single one of those that he could actually say out loud?

Sometimes Qin Zui thought Jiang Chu was incredibly smart. He could see through anything, had high emotional intelligence, and was great at giving people an out, saving face.

Other times, he acted like he had a screw loose.

Jiang Chu was equally confused by Qin Zui’s attitude. He tossed his little spoon into the cup and leaned back in his chair too.

Qin Zui had no choice. Frowning, he threw out a random sentence. “When I kissed you that day… did you throw up?”

“…That was ages ago, and you’re still bringing it up? Does your grudge-holding have a delayed reaction or what?” Jiang Chu was shocked. He’d racked his brain and never expected Qin Zui to say something like that. He almost dropped a mouthful of canned peach. “Besides, I told you at the time, it wasn’t because of you…”

As he spoke, Jiang Chu suddenly stopped. He looked at Qin Zui for a moment, like he was studying some interesting new phenomenon.

“Wait a minute. You call that a ‘kiss’?” He raised an eyebrow and couldn’t help but laugh. “We just bumped teeth through our lips. What, you’ve never actually kissed anyone before? A good-looking kid like you…”

He stared at Qin Zui’s tight face and cool expression, mulling over his logic. The more he thought about it, the harder it was not to laugh. He leaned back in his chair and laughed for a long time.

Still just a kid, after all.

Qin Zui was at a complete loss for words from the laughter. He knew perfectly well that Jiang Chu hadn’t meant to throw up on purpose.

This kind of topic wasn’t something you could argue about to prove right or wrong anyway. Since it seemed to cheer Jiang Chu up, Qin Zui just pushed his chair back, stood up, and moved to the sofa, completely done trying to communicate with Jiang Chu.

Jiang Chu laughed by himself for a while, then finally seemed to catch on.

Carrying his can of peaches, he followed Qin Zui over and kicked his leg. “Move over.”

“Just sit on the armrest.” Qin Zui didn’t budge.

“Still giving me attitude, huh?” Jiang Chu clicked his tongue, remembering that he’d been sitting right there the day he ate the pig trotters. Everything clicked into place.

He forcibly squeezed down next to Qin Zui and, being a total jerk, even propped his own legs up, leaning back against the sofa armrest to plant a foot on Qin Zui’s thigh. “Classmate Second-Year Qin, there’s a saying: when your big brother is talking to you nicely, you’d better talk nicely too.”

After kicking him, he didn’t bother pulling his foot back. It felt pretty comfortable as a footrest, so he just left it there.

Qin Zui stared at Jiang Chu’s foot for a second, then moved his gaze to his face.

Jiang Chu thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain.

This situation was still a bit awkward, especially since it involved sexual orientation. And especially since Qin Zui had just confessed to him, Jiang Chu knew that any sign of distance could easily cause a misunderstanding.

“I wasn’t avoiding you that day.” He finally spoke slowly after eating half a peach. “It had nothing to do with you… well, that’s not quite right either. I just wasn’t thinking that far ahead, you know?”

Qin Zui said nothing.

“Look, you came back that day all sweaty and gross. I’d just taken a shower, why would I want to squeeze in next to you?” Even though he was touched by Qin Zui’s earlier “I won’t lie to you,” Jiang Chu still couldn’t bring himself to mention watching the porno.

“If I really wanted to keep my distance, with the way you’ve been avoiding me like I’m a plague these past few days, I could have just kept doing the same thing, right? Would I be here asking you about it?”

As he spoke, he tried to put himself in Qin Zui’s shoes and once again realized how incredibly sensitive the kid was.

Qin Zui perceived other people’s like or dislike of him ten times more strongly. If something similar happened to Jiang Chu himself, he probably wouldn’t even notice.

“Anyway, just remember this.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, so he kicked Qin Zui’s leg again. “Whether you like girls, guys, or cats and dogs, it’s never going to change how I feel about you. And if I ever do have a problem with something you did, I’ll tell you to your face.”

“You do the same. From now on, if you’re ever confused about something, or if you feel like I did something that bugs you, come ask me first.” Jiang Chu looked at him seriously. “Ask me directly. As long as you ask, I’ll tell you the truth.”

“Don’t just convict me in your head while I have no idea what’s going on.” Jiang Chu leaned forward and reached out to flick Qin Zui’s face. “That’s not fair to either of us. Got it?”

Qin Zui listened to everything. At the same time, he ducked his head, making Jiang Chu’s flick miss.

“Bring your face here!” Jiang Chu cupped his hands and glared at him.

Qin Zui let out a quiet, resigned sigh and leaned forward so Jiang Chu could flick him.

Satisfied after landing the flick, Jiang Chu saw the smile return to Qin Zui’s eyes and couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. This cheap little brother was so easy to appease it was almost pitiful.

Not being able to finish the canned peaches, Jiang Chu shoved the rest at Qin Zui again. He curled up comfortably on the sofa and watched some TV.

Zhou Teng was hopping on his stool, tentatively sniffing at Qin Zui’s unfinished steak. Jiang Chu kicked Qin Zui. “Go finish it. It was expensive. I didn’t even order one for myself.”

Qin Zui went to get the plate. As he sat back down, Jiang Chu stared at the TV, then suddenly laughed and said, “Hey, am I right, Little Brother Qin Zui? Never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before?”

“Are you done?” Qin Zui was honestly amazed by the guy’s train of thought. It jumped all over the place.

“So how did you know you didn’t like girls?” Jiang Chu shifted, turning from lying on his side to lying on his back so he could rest his head on the sofa armrest and see Qin Zui’s face while talking. “Come on, tell me. I’m really curious.”

Before Qin Zui could answer, Jiang Chu thought back to those videos and remembered another key question. “When you’re with a guy… are you the top or the bottom?”

Qin Zui’s brow twitched. He turned his head and stared at Jiang Chu for a moment. “What do you think?”

Jiang Chu tried to imagine Qin Zui in those scenarios. For some reason, his subconscious automatically cast him as the one doing the topping.

He had a hard time imagining—and couldn’t really accept—Qin Zui being on the receiving end.

“How should I know?” he said, not wanting to guess wrong.

Qin Zui wasn’t the talkative type. Jiang Chu figured he’d probably be quiet even in that kind of situation.

Jiang Chu looked at Qin Zui’s profile. He thought, if you could pin a cool, silent guy like this down on a bed, hear him trying to hold back his groans even when he was overwhelmed, only letting out the occasional muffled sound through his nose…

Fuck.

Jiang Chu snapped out of it, frowning slightly. He looked away uncomfortably and rolled back onto his side.

How the hell did he get addicted to sexually fantasizing about his own little brother? Thinking about him topping, then thinking about him bottoming… If anyone knew he was running through scenarios in his head like this, Jiang Chu would be disgusted enough to slap them into a pan as a pot sticker.

Luckily, Qin Zui just glanced at him. He hadn’t said a word about the whole topic. Jiang Chu quickly lit a cigarette to change the subject. “How were your exams? Did you get your scores back?”

“They were okay.” Qin Zui said.

The answer was exactly what Jiang Chu expected. He figured it would be just “okay.” He nodded and didn’t ask any more questions.

October drifted by. Autumn had truly arrived.

There weren’t many holidays in the following months. Jiang Chu was busy all through November. Orders piled up this time of year, and from now until the end of the year, time would only get tighter.

On the day before Singles’ Day, Chen Linguo called him, asking if he wanted to grab a meal together tomorrow.

Ever since the farm stay, Chen Linguo had invited him once before, asking him to a movie. They’d agreed on it after that Haidilao meal but had never actually gone. Jiang Chu had already made a lame excuse to brush it off.

Usually, a refusal like that was a clear sign that someone didn’t want to take things further.

Jiang Chu had no idea if Chen Linguo was just stubborn or what, but she was still persisting.

“Just go.” Da Ben urged him as soon as he heard about it. “I think Chen Linguo has that ‘as long as he doesn’t say no explicitly, I still have a chance’ attitude. It’s not easy. Don’t you want to give it some real thought?”

“I was trying to be nice since she’s a girl. Didn’t want to be too blunt. But maybe I should just reject her outright.” Jiang Chu sighed, confused himself. “What is it about her that doesn’t spark anything in me?”

“Who does spark anything in you? Since high school, I’ve never seen you get fired up about anyone.” Da Ben laughed as he worked, his hands flying across the keyboard to build a model. “If you ask me, you’re pretty damn boring. Name one person you’ve ever had any real chemistry with. Has any girl ever given you that spark?”

“What spark…” Jiang Chu laughed as he thought back. After going through his memories, the image that popped into his head was Qin Zui calling him “Bro.”

“Ben. Call me ‘Bro’.” Jiang Chu called out to him.

“That’s perfect. I happen to be three months younger than you, so it’s very fitting for me to call you ‘Bro’.” Da Ben shot back without even looking up. They often had these random, nonsensical conversations, and both were used to it.

“Bro Ben. Call me ‘Bro’.” Jiang Chu said again.

“Alright, sure.” Da Ben pinched his throat and sang out in a high-pitched voice, “Bro! Big brother! Im-pe-ri-al Brother Bro-ther!”

Before he could finish the last drawn-out note, Jiang Chu groaned and interrupted him. “Pack it in, will you? Next thing you know, Sun Wukong is going to descend from heaven with a giant rooster.”

Da Ben was cracking up.