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Chapter 74


The weather was sweltering.

In the hospital room, the fluorescent lights shone with a stark, cold brightness, the tubes humming faintly.

Shen Li was already battling a headache, but now he glanced at Qian Xingzhi right there beside him, the camera creeping slowly closer from the doorway, and Zhou Yulin standing stock-still—

His head did seem to hurt a little more now.

Thus.

In the camera’s view, a bead of sweat slid down from Shen Li’s temple. He calmly turned his gaze back to Qian Xingzhi, stayed silent for three seconds, then asked him:

“What are you picking? Explain it properly.”

Qian Xingzhi arched an eyebrow. His stern features met Shen Li’s eyes for a moment before he coolly looked away.

With his peripheral vision, he shot a glance at Zhou Yulin in the doorway.

Zhou Yulin gave a slight shake of his head from where he stood. With good humor, he stepped forward, offering Shen Li the gift card and a pen together as he explained in a warm voice:

“Little Li, take a look. It’s for today’s nighttime activity—everyone gets one to give to the person they choose.”

Shen Li accepted the card.

“Thanks,” he said on instinct.

Actually.

Shen Li had already figured out the deal with the gift cards from watching Yang Zhiqi fill his out on the live stream. Put simply, it was a prop to signal romantic interest to another guest in the cabin.

It was called a “gift card” rather than an “intent card” because, on top of handing over the card, you had to deliver a “heartfelt gift” to them within twenty-four hours. The gift could be extravagant or modest—a single flower, or whatever else you liked.

Yang Zhiqi, for instance, hadn’t waited even close to twenty-four hours. He’d prepared an impromptu love poem for Zhou Yulin on the spot.

He’d scribbled the poem on a sheet of paper and stuck it right to the gift card, calling that his gift.

Shen Li hadn’t watched all of it, but it had been pretty funny.

Now, though…

The funny one was himself.

Shen Li dropped his gaze to the gift card, his narrow eyes narrowing slightly.

What to write? What to give?

Though he’d only been mulling it over for a few seconds, Qian Xingzhi’s low voice cut in: “—You’ve got until ten tonight, fifteen minutes left. Take your time deciding.”

Shen Li: .

He fixed Qian Xingzhi with what could only be called a cold stare. Qian Xingzhi might as well have been a crown prince with a knife to his neck, forcing the issue.

Those deep black eyes of his sparked with a glint—not too bright, not too dim.

Shen Li couldn’t say why, but he suddenly felt like teasing the man.

No more hesitation.

Right in front of the camera zooming in close, Shen Li popped off the pen cap and swiftly wrote a few words. His script was elegant, the strokes bold through the paper:

“I didn’t expect you to come”

Six words finished, capped with a perfect, round period.

The barrage of comments in the live stream exploded. Whether they were casual onlookers or hardcore shippers, most were stunned:

【Holy crap?! Is that really for Zhou Yulin???】

【Lmao】

【I’m actually pissed [sobbing] I’ve never gotten any sugar from this ship [sobbing][sobbing] Must’ve stolen salt in my past life to starve like this shipping Save Money [sobbing][sobbing][sobbing] Being a CP fan is too hard [sobbing][sobbing][sobbing] I’m unfollowing, done shipping [sobbing][sobbing][sobbing]】

【Good call—stick to being a bystander, it’s safer. I laugh at anyone shipping celeb couples [lol]】

【Didn’t expect Shen Li to actually have something going with this Zhou Yulin…】

【Pants on fire, obviously lol】

【Look at Qian Xingzhi’s face—totally green! I’ve never seen someone’s expression change so vividly hahaha】

【I’d be green too [clown] What’s the difference from getting cucked right in front of me?】

【Y’all have no sympathy. I feel bad for my bro QAQ He was sneaking kisses and hugs just days ago behind the cameras, and now he’s dropping the act? Shen Li’s trash.】

【Delulu shipper tilting at windmills】

【Real talk: If Professor Zhou came for Shen Li, that first-day gift from Shen Li was probably just courtesy.】

Zhou Yulin clearly hadn’t seen it coming either. The moment Shen Li finished those five words, he took half a step closer.

His throat bobbed. Those smiling eyes flicked toward Qian Xingzhi’s ashen face, and he was already reaching for the card, ready to say something.

But before Shen Li’s pen had fully lifted, Qian Xingzhi’s large hand snatched the card away in one decisive swipe.

“You’re welcome,” Qian Xingzhi said coldly, his voice icy. He shot Shen Li a fierce glare laced with deep resentment and unmistakable passion. “Since it’s written to me, I’m taking it.”

【Hahaha bro’s usually ice-cold but steps up and snatches at the key moment】

【Forcing Shen Li to admit it…】

【Dude, you’re a big shot—can you not look this desperate and cheap?!】

【What’s Qian Xingzhi on about? Even if it wasn’t for him originally, once it’s in his hands, it is?】

【Yeah, given Shen Li’s personality, he’s not grabbing it back.】

But—

Shen Li glanced up slightly. Amusement flickered in his eyes before fading to calm. In a soft voice, he said:

“Hand it over.”

Qian Xingzhi: ?!

Shen Li: “One, two…”

As Shen Li started counting.

Before he hit three, the fury in Qian Xingzhi’s eyes swept away the last of his restrained pride like a storm.

Those eyes burned with towering rage, yet undercut by a flickering grievance, like damp earth smothering flames. He fought the urge to snap at Shen Li.

After a long moment, Qian Xingzhi furrowed his brow and asked Shen Li: “You really giving it to him?”

Zhou Yulin could guess they’d probably argued earlier that day.

So he stepped forward too, politely saying: “I think you don’t need to pressure him like this. Let Little Li choose for himself.”

【Whoa, love triangle showdown?! I’m a dirt dog and I eat it up!!!】

【Hate to see it, glass heart here. Were they already in a throuple before?】

【Who’s known Shen Li longer? This Zhou isn’t an ex, is he?】

【[facepalm] Real talk, I’ve stanned Qian Xingzhi for five-six years and never seen him this broken [facepalm] Looks so pitiful… Even as an ex-fan, I feel bad [lol-cry]】

【Aaaah Qian Xingzhi’s eyes are all sparkly oh god oh god I can’t take it, never knew he could be this cute [screaming][screaming][screaming] Suddenly my type!】

【If my bro’s homeless I’ll take him in [sobbing]】

【Dream on, Little Cat’s just toying with the pup—needs you to take him in?】

【Quit clowning. That line from Shen Li’s obviously for Zhou Yulin. He’s just stringing my bro along, disgusting.】

The next second, in the camera’s frame.

Shen Li plucked the card from Qian Xingzhi’s hand. With a flick of his wrist, he added a few more words above the original line.

Now the card read in two lines:

“I thought we’d only meet tomorrow.”

“I didn’t expect you to come.”

Shen Li dotted the period with a flourish, then handed the card straight back to Qian Xingzhi, deadpan:

“Take it. Done writing—no more snatching.”

Qian Xingzhi’s gaze locked onto the card instantly. Expressionless, he reluctantly accepted it. The dark storm of anger in his eyes seemed to dissipate right then.

A summer night breeze wafted through the hallway, making the half-open hospital door sway gently.

Qian Xingzhi shot Shen Li a supremely smug glance, then turned the same look on Zhou Yulin’s embarrassed face.

After a long pause, Zhou Yulin nodded graciously, as if he understood perfectly.

Meanwhile, the show’s hot searches—which had cooled off from all the censorship—finally snagged a scorching new topic:

High Cold Male God Fighting and Snatching#

Once the director announced the live stream shutdown.

Qian Xingzhi’s combo of “charging the door for prime position” and “aggressively swiping the card” had already gone viral across the net.

Someone even dug up Zhou Yulin’s personal Weibo from the auditions, revealing he’d attended the same high school as Qian Xingzhi and Shen Li—and possibly even the same middle and elementary schools, living suspiciously close by.

In an instant, online speculation about the trio’s history surged.

ShenZhou#

WhosWhosYouth#

ChildhoodSweethearts#

ChildhoodSweetheartsLosingToSuddenRivalFightingAndSnatching#

On the ride back to the cabin after shutdown, Zhou Yulin kept tapping open that glaring hot search #ChildhoodSweetheartsLosingToSuddenRivalFightingAndSnatching#, then closing it again. His heart was a tangle of emotions.

These past years, Zhou Yulin did regret it.

Back in school, he’d buried himself in studies, woken up to his feelings too late. He hadn’t recognized his heart in time or clearly expressed it to Shen Li.

Meanwhile, Qian Xingzhi—first come, first served—had shared a high school class with Shen Li and relentlessly pursued him, bending him straight into…

If only he’d known back then that Shen Li swung that way so easily…

Zhou Yulin pressed his lips thin and powered off his phone.

No more thinking.

Life had no ifs.

Any fantasy was just blasphemy against Shen Li.

Zhou Yulin didn’t want that.

After much deliberation, he sent Shen Li a long, rambling message essay.

Shen Li got the notification while confirming the latest on the case with Guan Ning, along with the higher-ups’ newest directives on the show.

He didn’t reply—not even close. With a swipe, he dismissed the alert.

After finishing with Guan Ning, he checked the capture operation with Zhao Rong, confirmed timelines for potentially extracting Jiang Nan and Zhen Tian with Lin Jie, and casually passed on Guan Ning’s take that Sun Junhui might face the death penalty to Qian Xingzhi.

By chance and necessity, Shen Li completely forgot about Zhou Yulin’s message.

Once Qian Xingzhi finished washing up, he stormed in with a sour face, ready to check on Shen Li’s knee.

Shen Li, thinking he meant to massage it again, instinctively pulled back his leg. Propped on his phone, he looked up and said coolly:

“No massaging today—the injury’s too bad.”

Qian Xingzhi snorted. A hint of mockery crossed that peerlessly handsome face. “You know it’s bad? I thought you didn’t.”

Shen Li: .

After a beat, Shen Li explained: “It’s not that I don’t care about my body. In that situation—”

I had no choice.

Before he could finish the four words.

Qian Xingzhi cut him off:

“Enough,” he said brusquely, snatching the phone away and ordering:

“Roll up your pants. Let me see that leg.”

It was one thing if Qian Xingzhi hadn’t let his mind wander into the gutter, but now that he had, Shen Li felt too embarrassed to even suggest bunking together.

“…What are you looking at? Stop staring,” Shen Li said with a frown, turning his head away with a cold expression as he casually added, “Give me back my phone. Let’s get some sleep.”

Qian Xingzhi: ?

He glanced at Shen Li’s phone and saw messages from Zhou Yulin popping up one after another.

A light tap of his finger brought up Zhou Yulin’s sprawling essay, brimming with literary flair.

So many poems and allusions crammed in there that he couldn’t even make sense of them.

Qian Xingzhi was already fucking fed up.

What a goddamn day.

No peace from start to finish.

From Shen Li inexplicably dashing around with Zhao Rong all morning, to learning that Shen Li was hurt, to discovering the “Catfish” was Zhou Yulin—and then him sprinting around like a damn dog, battling Zhou Yulin for first place by ripping off nametags…

Thwack.

Qian Xingzhi tossed the phone back to Shen Li.

Shen Li caught it with a slight frown and looked up at him.

Qian Xingzhi’s tall frame suddenly dropped into a squat. He lunged forward from above in a fierce, neck-to-neck embrace that pinned Shen Li tight, bristling like a suddenly deranged pup.

Shen Li’s throat bobbed as he stared at Qian Xingzhi. His face remained utterly expressionless, yet his heart pounded wildly out of control.

“Do you like me like this?” Qian Xingzhi’s voice rumbled.

Shen Li: …?

“You do like it,” Qian Xingzhi said. “It’s all an act.”


Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

Salted Fish Rectifies the Remarriage Variety Show

咸鱼摆烂复婚综艺[娱乐圈]
Status: Completed Native Language: Chinese

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Oh, I went to LA last year for my EMBA. The sea breeze there was just divine. What about you?"

Shen Li: "Me? I got nine years of compulsory education back in China."

Female Lead No. 1: "Haha, you're hilarious. This little cake is amazing—the subtle milk flavor hits your mouth, your nose, even your pelvis and the roof of your mouth... Want to try a piece?"

Shen Li: "Nah, doesn't fill you up. You done with that potato?"

Male Supporting Lead No. 3: "What do you do for work?"

Shen Li: "Just your average office drone on a fixed salary."

Female Supporting Lead No. 4: "You're so gorgeous—ever done escort work?"

Shen Li: "Yeah, full-face stuff, like 99% of it."

Male Supporting Lead No. 2: "Mind if I ask something I probably shouldn't—where's your most sensitive spot?"

Shen Li shot him a cold side-eye, his pretty eyes flat with disdain. "Backdoor, I guess. You got nothing else to ask?"

The remarriage reality show *Broke Defense? Ex-Husband Bro* brings a bold new format like nothing before.

【Swap-and-Remarry Cabin】

Eight civilian guests:

From afar, they seem like shining stars from every elite profession—radiant, charismatic.

Up close, they're scheming mushrooms, chasing fame and fortune while playing dumb.

Remarry if you can remarry. Swap partners if you can swap.

Games wrap up, and it's a chaotic stew—who's really falling for whom?

The unique twist? Two of the civilians in the cabin are exes of guests in the live commentary booth—

Later in the show, viewers vote. Guess who Ex-Husband Bro is, and he gets a shot to enter the cabin and win back his ex!

Shen Li hadn't wanted to come at first.

No point.

Qian Xingzhi had pulled strings to get him in, insisting he join.

But wasn't this show just like hindsight being 20/20? You crash the car into the wall before remembering to swerve, buy the stock after it moons, flick the snot only when it hits your lips?

Divorced already—now they panic?

He was the first to check into the Swap-and-Remarry Cabin, a.k.a. Male Lead No. 1.

His profile was the weakest among all the guests. Unlike the rich kids tossing around fluent English and waxing poetic about cake flavors resonating in their noses and pelvises, he was just one of the masses—stuck on a dead-end salary, with a limp to boot. Bluntly put, a cripple.

He figured showing up would get him nowhere—no one would pick him, and there was zero chance of reconciling with Qian Xingzhi.

Shen Li used to be a cop.

He'd served in SWAT, in homicide, earned a second-class merit award. One leg got busted, until he couldn't run anymore. They sidelined him to a desk job. Unable to let go of the remote mountain village that had once saved his life, he retired to help build it up.

Shen Li wasn't here to remarry or even date.

He just wanted to plug the village elementary school, attract some top teachers, and maybe drum up his anti-scam social media account.

So why not ride Ex-Husband Bro's coattails? Free publicity.

Besides, their breakup...

No sordid drama. Just incompatibility.

Different worlds, both swamped with work, barely seeing each other twice a year.

Even the hottest high school romance cools off eventually, leaving two people from separate universes.

He couldn't give Qian Xingzhi what he needed.

Better to let go early.

These past years, Shen Li didn't know if Qian Xingzhi had found someone new.

He only saw Qian Xingzhi on screens, climbing higher podiums, smiling as he thanked the crew and his family—like he'd embraced the world. But Qian Xingzhi's world no longer needed him.

Whatever.

Shen Li treated the show like just another workday, slacking off without a care.

Influencers really had it easy making bank. Better to milk some cash for village projects—that was practical.

Qian Xingzhi was panicking for real.

What happened to Shen Li's leg? How'd he get hurt? Could it heal?

Why did everyone want to date Shen Li?!

What kind of freaks were these—cracked dates, goblins, and ghouls? You think you deserve him?

That was *his* wife! *His*!

If he'd known it'd come to this, he never would've clung to Shen Li like a pathetic crybaby every day. Shen Li hated lovesick idiots and interruptions at work. All his fault for being immature and clingy.

Now, after seven years divorced, Qian Xingzhi had evolved from lovesick, clingy sex addict top to aloof ice-queen celibate top. Shen Li should like this version, right? QAQ...

Few words.

Stomach-friendly.

Cool and distant.

Shen Li's type.

No, couldn't keep up the act much longer. Vote for him already!

Were the viewers blind? Why not vote?!

Let me in—my wife is Shen Li!

Fine, let him into the cabin first, then he could keep playing aloof ice-queen top. Deal?

Qian Xingzhi paced the commentary booth like a hot dog on a sizzling grill.

Fans: ...So this divorced dude's been faking the aloof ice prince vibe all these years?

Qian Xingzhi (teary-eyed, fragile, shattered, deathly pale): I'm fishing for my wife here, got it?

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